Discussion in 'Up to the Minute' started by anthrobones, Aug 14, 2006.
We are killing them with kindness.
I'm all for incentive, but that's ridiculous.
Kids should want to get good grades, I don't think throwing money/cars etc is helping them at all.
I pay for "A"s on report cards. During the year $5.00 per A and on the final report card of the year, $10 per A. As I explain to my kids, this is their job and they should be paid for doing it well. They're going to get my money one way or the other. This way, they're getting good grades, so at least I'm getting something for my money~! LOL Who knows, may even get them some scholarship money for college and then my few bucks now may save me big bucks in the future. So far, they're both bringing in straight As.
You'd be better off paying them to do physical chores around the house than for grades. You can reward with other things besides money for grades. After all, there's things besides money people can, and should, work toward, but that lesson is being lost in our culture.
I have to agree with Naracat on this one.
IMO we can teach our children that if they want more in life:some spending money,nice things, etc. they need to get good grades to get better jobs.Not the other way around.
I also believe in helping them out,for instance if they have their eye on a new bike,you can help them with money ... if they go the extra mile,with helping clean the garage,or something over and beyond their normal chores.
I do think things are handed out to kids way too easily,an money shouldn't always be the answer.
I sure sound like a grouch don't I? ...lol.
Sure, there ARE things besides money that people can & should work for....but we are talking about children, and I don't see anything wrong with rewarding good grades with cold, hard cash. I pay my kids for their good grades. It IS their job. Just like an adult who does a good job....they get paid, and they get rewarded monetarily with raises. If you're going to pay your kids money for working around the house, what makes it wrong or bad if you pay them for good grades?
It takes time and effort to get good grades---
If money is the driving force behind my kids studying harder, taking that extra time to make sure their book report is "just right", paying closer attention in class, and thus....learning and becoming smarter individuals....then so be it.
Long time, no see
I don't think you sound like a grouch at all, what you said makes perfect sense to me.
I'd say getting A's is going the extra mile, above and beyond their usual homework chores. I'd penalize a F or D, I'll definitely reward the A - after all, right now school is their job, and they may as well learn there are rewards for doing extra well at your job.
This is exactly what I do. A's are $20, B's are $10, nothing for a C because a C is average, -$20 for a D, plus loss of TV and computer, and if you get an F, you've forfeited everything, plus lost boucoup priviledges.
It is good to reward kids for good grades, but I think giving big cash or very expensive gifts sends the wrong message about the value of education. Also, kids become spoiled and greedy and suddenly it is the TEACHER's fault for them getting a bad grade (and thus no money) -- anybody's fault but their own.
When I was a kid, my mom would praise me for good grades and maybe I would get a special dinner or some easing up on the weekend's chores. Bed grades meant a loss of privileges.Maybe I would have worked a bit harder if I'd known I'd get big bucks with every report card, but I don't thinK I would have had the same work ethic in the end. I had to pay for any extra clothes I wanted (anything not polyester, lol!) and most entertainment and snacks and I had to save money (for years) to pay for a trip to Europe I wanted while in high school. In the end I had the incentive to put myself through college and grad school -- and money is not the driving force of my life.
My husband had to pay his parents if he got bad grades.
I only got good grades, but never received $ from my parents.
Report cards come only three times during a school year - every nine weeks. Its not like there's an open cash register at the end of each month. The incentive to do well is also that there is no football, track, band, choir or any other extra cirricular activities without the good grades. We do what works for us. I'm sure that other families have their own systems.
Has anyone ever received an "F"?
I don't have super strong feelings about this if it works for some parents, but it's not my style. Of course, I'm also a parent that doesn't really care what grades my kids get. I want my kids to focus on and discover what their purpose is. The journey to that knowledge is peppered, I suspect, with all types of grades - good and bad.
I'd rather them be the best behaved kids in their class or the kindest kids in their class or the most resourceful kids in their class than the kids who get straight As. Grades in and of themselves don't mean too much to me, so I would have a hard time rewarding for them.
I also don't attach allowance to chores. I want my kids to help out around the household because that's what families do and because there is intrinsic value in that. I give allowance to teach money management, a separate issue to me.
That said, I am not above bribery as a tool of parenting...I just don't use it in this area.
Then you get the kid who takes it out on their classmates/school.
In the states, there is a school shooting on average once every 12 months for something as little as the teacher not giving the right grade.
What colleges are you looking at? Won't this be important when it comes time to trying to get into a good school?
I have always rewarded with money for good grades. My parents never did that. My kids look for the perks at the places they work and I never did until they showed me. Now I do too. That extra commission check at the end of the month makes me perform better at my job. I find satisfaction in the job I do. I think monetary reward works well.
We use to reward good grades with cash, but now we pay in World of Warcraft gold...works great (it's an online game and they can buy things with the gold....my hubby plays too so he earns the gold and pays them)
They have a long way until college! We are saving for their college education and committed to sending them if that is what they want to do, but - as yet - I don't have any attachment as to whether they attend college or not.
Mine are in elementary and preschool, so maybe I will change my mind...only the shadow knows. I got pretty good grades in the subjects I liked and decent enough grades in the others - both in high school and college. But I never got paid for them.
Of course, when un-naturally low grades followed me home after my first semester at college (a result of my excessive partying), my Dad showed me how much money he had paid for me to party excessively and told me I had one semester to get them up or else I would not be returning my sophmore year! That was inspiration enough for me to do an about-face!:dance:
I was always extremely convinced that my children should go to college! I have three (of 4)that did and the youngest just got his AA and heads to university in the fall. The thing is that lately I have been reading a lot of info that says that we are heading into a "service oriented world" where the person who can change your oil or balance your books or open a daycare and care for your children will be the ones who can command any price the market will bear. Seems we have a glut of well educated professionals and a growing shortage of "service" workers. Supply and demand creates a better paying world for those with a skilled service. By the time you pay for your education or pay off loans for 4 to 6 years, what would bave happened if you had just invested that same amount of money wisely instead? Its food for thought definitely. I might do it differently if I had little children now. you have to look ahead and see what the trends are for sure. :twocents:
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