Rant/Emotion Overload

Discussion in 'Sandra Cantu' started by Salem, Apr 15, 2009.

  1. Salem

    Salem Former Member

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    This is the place to post your rants :mad: and also to post any feelings of sadness :(, shock :eek:, being overwhelmed :sick:, or to find/offer support :blowkiss: with other posters.

    This case appears to be very brutal and it is a shock to the system because of the identified perp. A woman, a mother, a Sunday school teacher.:eek::eek:

    So come here when you are looking for a friend or just need to get something relating to the case off your chest.

    Salem
     
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  3. Kat

    Kat Kind words do not cost much

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    Thank you Salem for this thread and for your hug earlier. I asked the mods to bring my other post over here to the appropriate thread. :blowkiss:
     
  4. nittany90

    nittany90 New Member

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    Thanks for starting this space.
    As a past newspaper reporter and child abuse investigator, I've seen so many sad, sad things. But, this case has absolutely shaken my sense of security.
    How often have we told our kids, that if they're ever lost, to find the first mother with small children they see?? In our naivete, we thought mothers were a source of safety for our kids. With the facts coming to light in this case, that sense of security is ripped away from us.
    My heart goes out to Sandra's family. It seems they were lured into a false sense of security by thinking she was safe in her own little community, just 5 doors down, in broad daylight, in the care of her playmate's mother, who was also a Sunday school teacher.
    I am so sad thinking about Sandra's final minutes on this earth. And
    so sad that it seems our kids are not safe anywhere anymore.
     
  5. Lyn1001

    Lyn1001 In constant need of a nap

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    It kind of makes me want to lock my daughter and myself in the house and never leave. =(
     
  6. lovelabs

    lovelabs Takin' it one day at a time

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    Thank you for starting this thread. I've been sick to my tummy not only from the start that Sandra was missing but as the facts of the case starting coming out. To be squished inside a suitcase and tossed in mucky water, then to find out it was a woman, and to top it off what happened to poor Sandra before she died, well it just eats me up inside. Its one of those that I just can't wrap my brain around so I know I'll never be able to make sense out of this.

    2 yrs ago my brother lost his 5 yr old son by choking on a piece of popcorn. He was lifelined from one hospital that wasn't equipped to deal with that kind of trauma to another hospital where he stayed for 3 weeks before passing on. I know how much that ate me up thinking about how scared my little nephew must've been not being able to catch his breath. I can't even begin to imagine what all must've been going through Sandra's mind and I can't even being to imagine the impact the family must be going through.

    Just in the up to minute news thread today there has been 2 (that I recall) more cases of baby/child abuse.

    I know there are lots and lots of good people in this world, but why does it seem that there is more evil abound than good.

    It makes me wonder... how bad was it way back when, when according to the bible that God was so disgusted by us humans that he flooded the earth so that we could start all over again. (For those that believe). Its hard for me to imagine that it was worse than the evil that we see in the news everyday.

    RIP Sandra
    Prayers to your family and all the families out there.
     
  7. tenaj23

    tenaj23 New Member

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    I really feel so sad and frustrated about these crimes (Caylee, Sandra and all those kids we dont know about)
    I've become so fearful about my 2 1/2 year old daughter that I thank god she's under my care 24/7. All this has definitely had a negative an impact on me and am sure on so many parents out there that find it hard to trust anybody now with their kids.

    I feel very saddened for Sandra's parents. I also want to ask all parents out there to please be careful when letting their kids out to play or leaving them with other people.

    I just really needed to get this off my chest
     
  8. darlin gal

    darlin gal New Member

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    All parents should see to it that their kids get R.A.D. training. If they don't have it in your school, visit the website and start a program in your area. It teaches and empowers kids on how to protect themselves whenever they might be in a situation where we can't be there to protect them ourselves.

    R.A.D. Instruction:
    * Strengthens a child's self-confidence and self-esteem at every level.
    * Helps children distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate touch.
    * Teaches children that offenders can be children or adults of any age, size, color, sex and either "strangers" or people they know.
    * Emphasizes the fact that inappropriate adult behavior is never the fault of the child.
    * Teaches the children tricks abductors and pedophiles may try to use to lure them or abduct them. It teaches them how to act/react and protect themselves.
    * Incorporates demonstrations and rehearsal of desired behavior by each child.
    * Also talks and teaches them about physical abuse, school violence and bullying.

    http://www.radkids.org
     
  9. RhythmicSun

    RhythmicSun New Member

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    Thank you Salem.

    I was visiting the area last weekend and I drove out there on Monday morning. As I was driving, I was thinking about the REASON I was doing it. A little girl is dead. A family grieving so unnecessarily. A town that seems quiet and normal on the surface, like any other American town, yet there are sinister, destructive forces and deadly activities going on behind the scenes.

    As I drove past the dairy farm, there were three birds that were playing and soaring over the property. They were swooping and darting and looked so happy and free. Suddenly I thought of Caylee, Haleigh and Sandra. Interpret it how you will. To me it means they are happy and free and with the Creator. No longer in pain, and rejoicing in the place they are now in. Waiting for other loved ones to join them behind the veil when their time comes.

    Drove back through the town, saw a medical office plaque by a building - vandersloot. A coincidental reminder of the evil that exists in this world. I thought about the times my now adult daughter played outside, rode her bike around the block... the one and only time she walked to school with her neighbor friend "just for the experience" - but never again because it just isn't safe. (That was 17 years ago.)

    I prayed for Sandra's family and the entire community. I prayed for light to be shed on this ENTIRE crime, this ENTIRE situation, that justice be brought to ALL involved. And there are many. My prayers also go out to the people in the Lawless Huckaby families who are innocent, and for justice regarding those who may not be innocent.
     
  10. Robyn623

    Robyn623 Digital Forensics Student

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    Thank you for this thread. This case was both an eye opener and a shocker. I'm not sure if it is just what happened to Sandra or if it is the totality of the cases of violence against children that we have been hearing about lately. I'm just sick to my stomach knowing I can't let my kids go out and enjoy themselves like I did as a child.

    I used to live in a MHP as a kid and I had free reign over where I went as long as I stayed in the park. I used to visit friends & ride my bike all over the park. I'm so saddened that my children cannot experience that freedom that comes with exploring with friends. My kids (10 & 8) go outside and play by themselves but they know to go nowhere near the road and to run inside if someone approaches the yard. Lately I've been going outside and checking on them more frequently. I hate it that they can't be kids anymore. What happened to the rights of our children? :(

    Thanks for letting me post. I've been sad lately and it feels a bit better to get it off my chest.
     
  11. Columbo

    Columbo New Member

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    Thank you for starting this thread. This case has been overwhelming emotionally, and I can't even begin to imagine what Sandra's family is going through. It's all too horrible for words.
     
  12. SeriouslySearching

    SeriouslySearching Active Member

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    Pervs are not new. My rant is people have been so sheltered to believe these evil people didn't exist until recently!! I keep hearing about how our children can't be children now etc. It really wasn't a safer world before...we were just living in a world where it was not reported frequently, people preferred to not address the issues, and LE didn't believe the children over the adults involved. There was no media to report on the many cases which did make to LE and the very few that did hit the news were the most horrific.

    Decades ago, a friend of mine was approached on her way to school (a block away) by a perv who was in a vehicle, naked from the waist down, and tried to grab her off the street. His attempt thankfully failed, but she was quite shaken up by the incident. It was something I never forgot (I saw the sheer terror on her face when she got to school that morning) and I began to pay attention to those type of reports by others. There were many and none were caught. Adults preferred to ignore it and LE didn't take the reports seriously if they were made by children.

    What has changed isn't much, but we are headed in the right direction today. It has taken millions of children suffering at the hands of cruel and evil people, but at least we know to protect our children from them in any way we can because they do exist. Children can still be children, but as adults...we need to be diligent in our efforts to prevent them from becoming tomorrow's victims and perps.
     
  13. Mouser

    Mouser New Member

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    Thanks for starting this thread.

    This case has affected me more profoundly than any other. I live in Oakland--not too far from Tracy, but I don't think that is the reason. I have a good friend who has been equally touched by Sandra's death and we have concluded that it is not only because of the sheer horror of the crime, but because we feel a strong sense of identity with Sandra. She seemed to represent the "every girl", beautiful--but not a beauty pageant queen, happy, robust and unprivileged. We are reminded of ourselves at her age, and how life is just beginning to unveil itself. We mourn for all that she will never experience. I know she is not suffering now--I just hope her family can find peace in their hearts and joy in their lives again someday.
     
  14. Tranaice

    Tranaice New Member

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    I don't know if I can even put into words how I am feeling. I was the same way about little Jessica Lunsford. :( I'm sad, shocked, sick, heartbroken, furious (I could go on and on) that a sweet little girl, out skipping around her neighborhood was taken by this monster and had to live the last few minutes of her life probably in terror. I cannot comprehend how someone could do this. I'm having a hard time with this. I just pray that they throw her in prison and throw away the key and let some of them put her through what little Sandra went through. :praying:
     
  15. KoldKase

    KoldKase New Member

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    I think this case has hit everyone hard who advocates for victims or just loves children. Perhaps it's because of the video of a carefree child on a sunny spring day skipping along...it's almost unbearable.

    I do want to thank everyone here who is keeping the news articles and video links up to date for us. It's a time consuming job, I know. I've posted a link to this forum at FFJ as y'all do such a great job. Thanks, and thank again.

    A prayer for the Cantu family. May their dark journey end with memories of love and joy with Sandra.
     
  16. Animal04216

    Animal04216 Smiling Again

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    moving this one for kat:

    Kat's Avatar
    Kat Kat is online now
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    Join Date: Dec 2008
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    This is off topic to this thread but I didn't want to start a new one. I don't think it warrants it just yet, but the mods may decide otherwise

    I have followed a lot of these cases before I came to WS. I'm here because this has been an interest of mine for a long time. The first case that ever really touched me was the Susan Smith case.

    But Sandra's case has effected me in a profoundly emotional way in such a short time. I actually have cried a few times during the short duration of this case. Listening to Sandra's Mother, Sandra herself reminding me of my own children, reading the complaint brought before the court and the horrors Sandra suffered.

    It is making me rethink several stances that I have had that were very liberal in certain ways, towards perps. (I'll be happy to discuss that later once I have sorted through all of it). Even more O/T last night my 18 yr old son was very late coming home from a scheduled appointment and I was frantic...absolutely frantic about him being gone. Not good. Just wanted to share.

    __________________
     
  17. Peculiar Petunia

    Peculiar Petunia New Member

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    I get furious with our society when things like this happen. You get JonBenet, turned into a sex object by her kooky mother, and now there's this recent spate of murders of young girls. Role models in the media? Piffle! We have the First Lady, and Oprah. (not that there's anything wrong with them) The other women we see are a bunch of "starvelets" created by a society who want to make girls and women disappear!

    Yes, other cultures can be worse in their abuses of women. But I think daughters are becoming more and more devalued in our country at large.
     
  18. moonlighting

    moonlighting New Member

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    SS, I think you are so right. For me, as a mom, Adam Walsh changed everything. Adam died in 1981. My son was born in 1983, and parents became much more cautious. As a child in the early 60,s, I was allowed to wander in a store while my mom shopped, as long as I didn't go out the door. When my own child accompanied me, he had to stay on the same aisle, in my line of sight.

    But sadly, as with Sandra, monsters aren't always strangers. When I was little (4-6), I told my mom I didn't like my pediatrician. He always did an exam that included laying down on the table, and feeling the abdomen with my clothes and underwear pulled down a bit. But what creeped me out was where his eyes were focused.
    My mom was a nurse, and really didn't think he was doing anything but a check of the bowels, BUT she respected ME, and took me to another doctor.

    As it turned out, in the late 70's, when I was in college, a male friend told me (in detail) that this same man molested him for years.

    Then the rumors started. Finally, it turned out after my hometown newspaper ran an article about this man, over 30 victims were able to support each other.

    Sadly, because of the "good old boy" system, he was still practicing as a pediatrician in my hometown (by the way SS, I live in the same state you do).

    I'm just so thankful my mom listened to me. All I can tell you is that I didn't like the intensity with which he looked at me while doing his "exam" (he always had his back to my mom). He had a history of befriending single mothers. It was also rumored when my son was small that he was into child porn by then.

    Moms, Dads, listen to your kids. It could be their doctor (yes, the one you then write a check to), Sunday School teacher, scout leader, teacher, neighbor, babysitter, great uncle....

    Just listen to your kids, ok?
     
  19. RhythmicSun

    RhythmicSun New Member

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    moonlighting, you are reminding me of my childhood dentist. I told my mother I didn't want to see him anymore after I went into puberty. Every time he picked up the bib to wipe my mouth he would put it back down and "accidentally" touch my right breast. I found out later he had a daughter my age who went to the other high school in town. Perv. :furious:

    When my brother went to the dentist when I was 4 and he was 6, the dentist used to have a room where he would take kids who cried. It was the size of a closet and it was dark. He would place his hand over their mouths until they stopped crying. I remember talking to my mother about it. We moved away shortly after that to another part of the state so I never had to go to him after that, and he never did that to me, but only because I don't mind the dentist and didn't cry in his chair.

    Both of those things happened decades ago. These creeps are out there everywhere and always have been.
     
  20. HarvestMoon

    HarvestMoon Active Member

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    These crimes depress me. There seems to be too many anymore, one right after the other. Each time a little innocent is lost and nothing we can do about it.

    The club of bereft parents left to support the next ones involuntarily inducted into the club is too sad to witness at times.
     
  21. metalcrystal

    metalcrystal Inactive

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    No kidding but it's okay to be that way. When our kids were growing up I got called overprotective alot but who cares? I am from the inner city of Chicago and knew a lot about crime at an early age. I always knew where my kids were, didnt let them go off with just anybody, and if something or someone didnt feel right, I followed my instincts.Sadly you have to be that way to keep them safe in this world.
     

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