In re-reading Ravens one and only blog entry (date Monday, April 25, 2005, 11:15 am) Im struck again by his closing words: "In summary, I feel my strengths and weaknesses have been molded from the way I was raised. Through the events of my childhood I was able to develop strengths that not only helped me survive my adolescence, but have proven to be a great attribute to the development of my personal and professional life. I also understand that I am able to change my weaknesses through my ability to adapt and that by doing so I will achieve success." After all of these months, and with what weve come to know about Raven, I read his words, and Im reminded of the many failures hes had in his life. And it makes me wonder if Raven was and is always striving and pushing himself for things that in the end have always been beyond his grasp, his abilities, his means, etc. And its an interesting contrast to Janets successes. Was Raven in competition with her in some weird way? Was she a trophy to him, representing the things that he was NOT? Was he jealous of her successes? Im sure there are others, but Ive taken the liberty here of listing some of the more obvious failures in Ravens life, thus far: - Dropped out of SVU - academic/educational failure - Failed at being a soccer star at SVU - athletic failure - Dropped out from serving his LDS mission - religious failure - Soccer training business, 2nutmeg, failed - professional failure - Employment history indicates MULTIPLE professional failures possibly - I mean how many jobs can one person have by the time they are 26? - Financial chaos - fiscal failure - Infidelity(ies) - marital/moral/ethical failure - Eurosport embezzlement - ethical/moral/professional failure And so where is Raven now? Living with his mother? Working part-time at a bike store? Receiving government benefits based on his wifes murder? Reporting to a probation officer as a convicted felon? Dont misunderstand me, theres nothing inherently wrong with any of those things, well mostly, but, for someone as ambitious as Raven? With such lofty plans, goals, etc? Is life just one huge failure for Raven now? One bright spot Kaiden. Lets hope that even if Raven fails at every single aspect of his life, that he can at least succeed at being a good father but, who knows, perhaps hes not even good at being a dad either only time will tell. Again: "I also understand that I am able to change my weaknesses through my ability to adapt and that by doing so I will achieve success." Someone, as I recall the person called themselves "karli boulden," once replied to the blog, "Very good reflection on your life and goals." Well karli, to each his own, but with failure after failure in the lifes goals column, I dont know, seems to me its time to re-evaluate the plan and strategy???