Repercussions for those close to JAG

[Voice4theSilent]

Who knows if his later girlfriend even knew about his conviction. When I was dating in my 20's I didn't think to check if any guys I was dating were registered sex offenders or criminals (and I doubt his mom was telling anyone, especially given her level of denial.) If my boyfriend borrowed my car to go to the store and took 15 minutes longer than expected I definitely wouldn't think anything of it, or if he dropped me off at work and took the car to run errands I would assume he was doing just that.

I assume the mother of his twins knew he was a SO though, as he would have been wearing an ankle bracelet when they were dating. Do we knowhow long that relationship lasted?

 

[JBean]

I'm not one to blame parents for the crimes of their children. I just believe that everyone makes their own choices regardless of their up bringing. The fact that his Mom is a psychiatric nurse that works with RSO's does give me pause. I wonder could she not see the signs because it was her son? Or did she see the signs but refused to accept them? You would think his arrest for the molestation of the 13 year old would have been a huge wake up call. I'm really thinking for her to ever be respected again, she will need to find a new profession.

I have a severely (with a capital S) bipolar son. I didn't give him bipolar and don't take responsibility for his choices or his condition. However, with that said, I do have to accept the fact that he has to have very specialized treatment,medication, weekly therapy, and whole host of other time consuming, difficult and stressful management measures. It is that level of commitment to our children and ultimately to our community that may be missing here. Leaving a bipolar I person to their own devices can have catastrophic results, as may be the case here. It is not for the faint of heart and most of us are just not equipped to handle this condition at this level. i could not do anything for my son without constant professional guidance.

So, I don't blame anyone's parents for what their children become, but I do think they have a responsibility to try to help them reach their law abiding potential. If this mother had any indication at any time that her sons behavior could be a danger to society she had an obligation to act. I think the 2000 molestation was indication enough for anyone.

The missing piece is we do not know what she did or didn't do. So, I will withhold judgement until we know what she may have done to help her son and the community.


ETA: I realize that we do not really know if he is bipolar, but replace that with any kind of psychological disorder and my point is the same.

 

[MCDRAW]

I have a severely (with a capital S) bipolar son. I didn't give him bipolar and don't take responsibility for his choices or his condition. However, with that said, I do have to accept the fact that he has to have very specialized treatment,medication, weekly therapy, and whole host of other time consuming, difficult and stressful management measures. It is that level of commitment to our children and ultimately to our community that may be missing here. Leaving a bipolar I person to their own devices can have catastrophic results, as may be the case here. It is not for the faint of heart and most of us are just not equipped to handle this condition at this level. i could not do anything for my son without constant professional guidance.

So, I don't blame anyone's parents for what their children become, but I do think they have a responsibility to try to help them reach their law abiding potential. If this mother had any indication at any time that her sons behavior could be a danger to society she had an obligation to act. I think the 2000 molestation was indication enough for anyone.

The missing piece is we do not know what she did or didn't do. So, I will withhold judgement until we know what she may have done to help her son and the community.


ETA: I realize that we do not really know if he is bipolar, but replace that with any kind of psychological disorder and my point is the same.

I agree.

 

[Natal]

How do you know the victim had to move? I hope that is not true.

The victim moved, but she didn't "have to". I expect those around her felt that being in a new location where everyone didn't know who she was would be better for her.

Sometimes (probably a lot of times) people tend to turn these things into secrets and try to sweep them into the closet (metaphorically speaking) instead of being open about what happened to them. The most effective way of doing that is to simply go live somewhere else.

 

[passionflower]

Friend remembers 'wild and crazy' Gardner
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/mar/12/gardnerfriend/

The wacky guy who walks into convenience stores wearing nothing but a paper bag over his head and yells, “I’m naked.”

Or holds onto car bumpers to get hauled up mountain roads on in-line skates as they smoke and melt.

snipped from above article...........

 

[Natal]

Well said, Leila.

My friend, who isn't even following this case that much, called me after she saw the news. It is shocking to say the least to see and hear about the group very closely connected to the accused sexual offender killer. My friend complained on and on about how wrong it would be to have the mother keep her position. She thinks the employer was insensitive to other employees by allowing that meeting to begin with, and should have not even considered letting the mother back at work. Says anyone who had a similar problem would not want to seek help from someone who obviously is unaware of the correct treatment for a RSO. My friend wants the mother arrested! She feels the mother must have figured out it could be her son who attacked on Dec 27th, and that you'd have to be a complete idiot to not consider it was the son. It could have saved Chelsea's life if the mother used her professional knowledge to get the right help for her son ASAP, but instead went running with her group. My friend is an average citizen and I was surprised at how upset and angry she is over this. This is not going to blow over.

It isn't the mother's fault, she didn't hurt anyone. Parent's will be parents, usually they don't see the warning signs that everyone thinks they should have seen, especially when it comes to a child they have known all their lives - love has a tendency to blind. The co-workers and neighbors are being unreasonable, they need to direct their anger at JAG, where it belongs, not at his family and friends.

 

[cluciano63]

I think it is easy to say that responsible mothers would turn in their children if they knew or suspected they were a danger to others, but maybe not as easy to do. I have to think very hard to try to guess what my mother would have done; i guess it depends on how the intial crime/conviction was presented or sold to her, and most mothers want to believe their child, even over law enforcement and i have to think my mother, who was extremely responsible, law-abiding and careful, would have tended to believe my brother, if this were the case.

That said, I am not getting the best impression about JAG's mother. Granted, some of the stuff coming out may be taken out of context or sensationilzed by media (excuse spelling) but there must be something to the stories. And we do not know for sure what she knew about his requirement to register, despite her job, as he could have told her that when he went off probation he was done with that. Again, I am giving her benefit of doubt she may not deserve but I hate to see parents take blame for their adult children (although many are quick to take credit, if they turn out well

 

[SoCalSleuth]

I agree that parents should not be held responsible for their children's choices, especially when mental health issues are involved. And we don't know what she did or didn't do to get him help for whatever are his various afflictions--(although I did read a post from an alleged friend that said she did nothing because he did not have health insurance)--in any event, we do know that she knew he was a child molester and she allowed him to live in her house, knowing full well that address wasn't registered as his residence. Could it have made a difference? I guess we'll never know.