Ron Jr.'s Fate

[pirate]

I have a question- what if it were known for a fact that Ron was dealing drugs immediately prior to the time Haleigh disappeared.

I'm not saying he was- but I'm just curious if anybody would change their mind about Ron having children in the home if it was proven that he was involved in the drug trade.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

To date, there is NO evidence to suggest Ronald sold drugs right before Haleigh went missing. What you are trying to infer is that Ronald was indeed selling drugs...isn't it?! If not, then why bring it up at all?

I would have voted HELL NO, but it wasn't an option. I just voted No instead. 24 people feel it is not justified to take Rj out of the care of Ronald. Glad to see it. Rj doesn't need to be revictimized. He needs his family to help him through this horrible time.

 

[Quiche]

I voted yes, and would like to add-- HURRY

 

[not_my_kids]

I voted NO, and a big hearty one at that. There may be minor concerns about Jr's health and well being now, but it's nothing compared to the concerns I have of any child subjected to the foster care system.

 

[forbidn2u2]

I voted NO, and a big hearty one at that. There may be minor concerns about Jr's health and well being now, but it's nothing compared to the concerns I have of any child subjected to the foster care system.

Me too and I agree with your summation. :clap:

 

[passionflower]

Fearing for all the children named in this case.
A VERY unhealthy enviroment!
To many bad people on drugs in this case.
Where is Children and Youth Agency to help?

 

[RJA00]

I have a question- what if it were known for a fact that Ron was dealing drugs immediately prior to the time Haleigh disappeared.

I'm not saying he was- but I'm just curious if anybody would change their mind about Ron having children in the home if it was proven that he was involved in the drug trade.

I say he needs to be removed if true. but, since the person crystal lives with has a drug record newer then rons and a restrainer order just removed from him. I would not put JR with her either. IF they prove which they have not really proved anything that ron is doing or dealing drugs, Yes, he needs to be removed but not just handed over to the mother.

Both sides have lots of problems

 

[MCDRAW]

For the record, I think all those representations are far too oversimplified to be fairly used to condemn the reasoning most members here have for feeling the way they do about Ron.

Much like when people tell critics of the octomom that they must want to take away babies of mothers "who want a lot of children" or "have plastic surgery," "are single moms," or "whom the media is trashing" etc, etc... I think it's apparent that the actual reasons are much more complex and respectable than such caricatures give credit for.

(ETA: WRT Rumors: Since my own opinions are based not on rumors, but on my own observation of him, his public behavior, and his choices, I don't assume rumors are the reason why others feel the same way.)

The problem is once Ron Jr. is taken away because of "drug use", "immoral behavior", "anger management", it is then easier to take the next set of kids away from parents. It will get easier and easier until it will be simply because of former drug use, bad temper, young mate, immoral behavior, etc. IMO There are just so many perfect parents on websleuths that I often find myself not measuring up.

 

[CHICANA]

While we are at it let's take the children away from every parent in the US who has ever used drugs even if they are no longer using them. It doesn't matter if you have been caught by LE or not...using is still using and a drug is a drug even if it is POT...you lose your kids.

Let's also take the children away from everyone in the US who has ever swore at their SO or husband/wife. That means that you have an anger problem and shouldn't be around your kids...ever.

If one of your children have come up missing...you lose your other kids because you can't be trusted to raise and watch your own children. YOU are to blame if someone goes into your house and abducts your child.

If one spouse is 8-9 years older than the other then you should never have been allowed to have and raise kids. To much age difference. If there were any kids by a first marriage...and you are #2...then those children shouldn't be allowed to be around the younger spouse. Any children that you and #2 have together should be taken away and put up for adoption at birth. To much age difference.

If you fit into any of these catagories then start packing up the kids clothes and toys. You are not a fit parent and can no longer raise your kids...you can't be trusted to be a parent. Fact or rumor...it doesn't matter...you don't deserve to have your children. Glad my kids are grown or I would be packing their suitcases right now!

MO. I think Crystal is the better parent and custody should be given to her. RC will always be RJ's dad and he should have liberal visitation. If Crystal gets custody, I think RC & his mom will do everything in their power to take it away from her even if it means lying, cheating and stealing.

 

[CHICANA]

The problem is once Ron Jr. is taken away because of "drug use", "immoral behavior", "anger management", it is then easier to take the next set of kids away from parents. It will get easier and easier until it will be simply because of former drug use, bad temper, young mate, immoral behavior, etc. IMO There are just so many perfect parents on websleuths that I often find myself not measuring up.

I don't think he should be taken away from RC because of his drug use,immoral behavior or even illegal behavior. In custody matters I think it should be the better of the two parents or the lesser of two evils. Absent illegal physical abuse, I don't think children should ever be given to a stranger or family member other than the parents. By illegal physical abuse, I mean going beyond spanking to the point you should be arrested for assault.

 

[stilettos]

I don't think he should be taken away from RC because of his drug use,immoral behavior or even illegal behavior. In custody matters I think it should be the better of the two parents or the lesser of two evils. Absent illegal physical abuse, I don't think children should ever be given to a stranger or family member other than the parents. By illegal physical abuse, I mean going beyond spanking to the point you should be arrested for assault.

Being in the home of a parent under the influence of drugs and who has known felonious contact with minors who are also under the influence is abuse.

 

[stilettos]

The problem is once Ron Jr. is taken away because of "drug use", "immoral behavior", "anger management", it is then easier to take the next set of kids away from parents. It will get easier and easier until it will be simply because of former drug use, bad temper, young mate, immoral behavior, etc. IMO There are just so many perfect parents on websleuths that I often find myself not measuring up.

I am not a perfect parent. I do not however do drugs, leave my children with those who do and I do not threaten to kill people. I am however, one of the former children who was removed from the home of an abusing parent who on the outside looked to be safe. Removing me saved my life and prevented the rape of my younger sister. Sometimes waiting because of fear is the last thing you should do.

 

[CHICANA]

Being in the home of a parent under the influence of drugs and who has known felonious contact with minors who are also under the influence is abuse.

It's not intentional infliction of physical abuse and it's speculative to say that a child would be at imminent risk of serious physical abuse or death which is required by a law that's seldom followed before a child is removed from their home.

When I hear that a child should be removed for drugs or because their parents have criminal records, I always recall the case of Dominic James that was here in my state.
He was taken from his parents because they smoked pot and fought with each other.
The children's division erred on the side of the child and placed him in a foster home where he was murdered by his foster father.

I see many kids who grow up with drug using parents who beat each other up. Is it good for them ? No.. but it's better than dead.

That said, Ron should be in jail for the felony offense of having sex with a 16 year old girl. If the law had been enforced, this wouldn't even be cause for discussion.

 

[Bobbisangel]

My granddaughter is 20 and her husband is 26 yrs. They went together for 4 years. She has never been interested in boys her age because she said they were to immature. It is said that boys mature a lot slower then girls do. Boys are usually 3 years behind girls in maturity when they are the same age. I believe that to be the truth. My granddaughter is having a baby girl the first week of May and they are more then ready to become parents. He has sown his wild oats and so is content to settle down instead of feeling the need to run around with his friends and party. She is really mature for her age and has a good head on her shoulders.

I think that Misty is pretty immature for her age. Of course she just turned 17 yrs. To me it sounds like she wanted to get married so she could have a baby. A lot of times when kids have had a rough life they want a baby so that they will have something that belongs to them. They don't realize that you can't put that baby on a shelf when they want to play. Misty also said that she liked Ron because he gives her things. Not much of a basis for a marriage no matter how old you are. I doubt this marriage will last to long.

I noticed that when Misty did go party for several days her and Ron were seperated and she was staying with her brother..I believe. She didn't take off and leave the kids by themselves because she was mad at Ron. So far we have no proof...just rumors...that Misty would leave the kids alone.

We really have no proof of anything yet people are so down on Ron. Really hard for me to understand. People are assuming everything and on an assumption they want his little boy taken away from him. I hope LE and DSHS doesn't go on assumptions.

 

[Sanddollar14]

It's not intentional infliction of physical abuse and it's speculative to say that a child would be at imminent risk of serious physical abuse or death which is required by a law that's seldom followed before a child is removed from their home.

When I hear that a child should be removed for drugs or because their parents have criminal records, I always recall the case of Dominic James that was here in my state.
He was taken from his parents because they smoked pot and fought with each other.
The children's division erred on the side of the child and placed him in a foster home where he was murdered by his foster father.

I see many kids who grow up with drug using parents who beat each other up. Is it good for them ? No.. but it's better than dead.



That said, Ron should be in jail for the felony offense of having sex with a 16 year old girl. If the law had been enforced, this wouldn't even be cause for discussion.

Chicano, in Florida parents using illicit drugs in the home in the presence of children is considered child neglect and the children are frequently removed from their custody as a result. Children are usually removed from the home in Florida if there is domestic violence in the home also.

What a tragedy when a foster parent kills a foster child. We had a situation like that in Jacksonville, FL where a foster mother drowned a foster child. Fortunately, these are not the typical results in foster homes.

 

[Sanddollar14]

:

I don't think he should be taken away from RC because of his drug use,immoral behavior or even illegal behavior. In custody matters I think it should be the better of the two parents or the lesser of two evils. Absent illegal physical abuse, I don't think children should ever be given to a stranger or family member other than the parents. By illegal physical abuse, I mean going beyond spanking to the point you should be arrested for assault.

Chicana, a caregiver who uses illegal drugs places all those around them in harms way.

 

[CHICANA]

Chicano, in Florida parents using illicit drugs in the home in the presence of children is considered child neglect and the children are frequently removed from their custody as a result. Children are usually removed from the home in Florida if there is domestic violence in the home also.

What a tragedy when a foster parent kills a foster child. We had a situation like that in Jacksonville, FL where a foster mother drowned a foster child. Fortunately, these are not the typical results in foster homes.

I know they are, and absent the risk of serious physical harm or death, it's a violation of statutes that are in place to protect familyies from undue government interference in raising their own children.
This is why the Texas Supreme Court ruled against the state in the FLDS case.
The laws are in place so that a social worker can't just go in a home, decide that a parent appears to be under the influence of something and take the kids and give them to strangers. But yes, I know it happens all the time.

An example might be, the mom was prescribed pain killers or xanax or whatever, then she gets in a fight with her spouse and he shoves her or smacks her, like I said this is an example. While I don't think this is acceptable, I don't think it warrants a child being traumatically removed from his home and taken from everything and everyone he knows and placed with strangers. It's not in his best interests. They could make one parent leave for the night, they could open a service case, etc. There are so many options besides taking a child. My ex used to hit me, he didn't hurt our child. Back then, they didn't take children because dad hit mom. They took the offending party to jail.
My opinion is non-wavering. If the child hasn't been hurt and their basic needs are being met, I have no reason to believe that he/she'd be any safer in the state's custody.

 

[cuppy199]

IMO I have no idea who the better parent is but Im not willing to say just because the talk is that Ronald does this and he does that isnt enough proof to me to say he is in fact a bad parent and that RJ should be talken from him.
And as far as if Crystal got custody and think Ronald would lie, steal and what ever else well doesnt look any different then what is being done now.

 

[Sanddollar14]

I know they are, and absent the risk of serious physical harm or death, it's a violation of statutes that are in place to protect familyies from undue government interference in raising their own children.
This is why the Texas Supreme Court ruled against the state in the FLDS case.
The laws are in place so that a social worker can't just go in a home, decide that a parent appears to be under the influence of something and take the kids and give them to strangers. But yes, I know it happens all the time.

An example might be, the mom was prescribed pain killers or xanax or whatever, then she gets in a fight with her spouse and he shoves her or smacks her, like I said this is an example. While I don't think this is acceptable, I don't think it warrants a child being traumatically removed from his home and taken from everything and everyone he knows and placed with strangers. It's not in his best interests. They could make one parent leave for the night, they could open a service case, etc. There are so many options besides taking a child. My ex used to hit me, he didn't hurt our child. Back then, they didn't take children because dad hit mom. They took the offending party to jail.
My opinion is non-wavering. If the child hasn't been hurt and their basic needs are being met, I have no reason to believe that he/she'd be any safer in the state's custody.

But it does hurt a child to see their mother being hit. It also teaches them that hitting is acceptable if there are no consequences to the offender. I think the bruises that are on the inside are so much more painful than the ones you see on the skin. I agree with you that taking a child from their parents should not be done for one incident or something that could be worked out with programs placed in the home to help the family with their challenges. Repeated instances of placing a child in harms way without cooperation from the family in using helpful services necessitates in placing the child in a healthier environment and hopefully with a close family member.

 

[CHICANA]

But it does hurt a child to see their mother being hit. It also teaches them that hitting is acceptable if there are no consequences to the offender. I think the bruises that are on the inside are so much more painful than the ones you see on the skin. I agree with you that taking a child from their parents should not be done for one incident or something that could be worked out with programs placed in the home to help the family with their challenges. Repeated instances of placing a child in harms way without cooperation from the family in using helpful services necessitates in placing the child in a healthier environment and hopefully with a close family member.

Studies show that very few children leave the foster care system whole & healthy.
It also causes an enormous amount of stress for a child to be taken away from his mother. Witnessing mom & dad fight every once in awhile IMO is not as traumatic as being removed from their parents.
Why don't we just punish the guilty ? Make the penalties stiffer for abusers, send THEM away for awhile until they learn their lesson ?
There are women who are afraid their husbands will kill them if they leave. Instead of making the guilty pay, they punish the victims by taking their children and the children by taking them from their mother. To me, this makes no sense.
My daugher & her boyfriend got in a fight recently and the cops were called. He went to jail but CPS called the next day.
Fortunately she listened to me. She didn't let them in the house, showed them the baby was fine and said she didn't need any services. She also had witnesses there in case they tried to twist anything she said.
They went away and sent her a closure letter. If she had talked to them, whatever she said could have been used against her. If she had agreed to services, they would have been in control of her and her son's lives for the next year or more.
Between what I've witnessed and what I've heard, I wouldn't trust my dog with a CPS worker. I'm sure there are good ones, but the damage done by the bad ones have made people fearful of the whole process.
I especially dislike the ones who have no children telling other people how to raise theirs.

RJ should definitely not be in foster care. There are too many people who love him and are capable of taking care of him. Even if they're not the Brady Bunch.