Cubby
fly the W!
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I spent some time pondering this today... you made me realize something.
A lot of us spend quite a bit of time researching these cases, and I think we reach a point where we become almost numb to reading/posting about certain subject matter, just because we see it so frequently. I am not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I think it is necessary to be somewhat numb to it, in order to be able to do this type of work and remain sane... but I think there is a fine line between a healthy numbness, and an inability to be sensitive and to feel the magnitude of how disturbing some of this stuff actually is... and I was wondering if I had crossed that line a bit...
Thank you for making me stop and think about this... it was something I needed to think about but I just didn't know it.
I am really sorry if we have posted anything that was offensive.
Thank you for this post Odyssey. What wise thinking, and yes, I agree, this is something we need to continuously be aware of when posting.
With regards to the wait........ I'm having a hard time gathering my thoughts so bare with me here. When I first made this discovery of a potential match, I was completely unaware of the possibility of a lengthy wait. It honestly blindsided me.
In the past, with most of the research done on Anna's case, we started by doing as much research and learning as many facts as possible before posting. Many times we'd post the results. I wanted so badly to be able to do so much more research prior to bringing this to both Anna's family and the forum.
When I first found the match, the first thing I asked myself is why Anna wasn't on the rule out list and if she had been compared. When I saw that DNA was available via the NamUs case file, I honestly thought it was going to be a much more simple matter of giving Dr. Doogie the information. His making a call to the coroners office to determine if Anna had been ruled out and just not been added to the rule out list, or a comparison could be done quickly. Neither Dr. Doogie or I expected or were prepared to learn that the NamUs information indicating DNA was available was in fact human error.
We both wanted to find out more about how soon it might be before a comparison could be made and having some more 'solid answers' prior to bringing the information to Annasmom and family. Neither of us wanted them to endure a long and agonizing wait.
It was then we had to make a decision. Find out more information first or tell Annasmom of this discovery now. It was not an easy decision to make. Knowing there was a general discussion thread already set up for this NamUs case file along with how savy WS'ers are, I knew if we did not bring this to Annasmom first, we risked her and the family first learning about it here because it was likely just a matter of time before a WS'er made the connection in the general discussion thread.... Then for her to learn Dr. Doogie and I were aware of this discovery and did not share it with her allowing her to learn from us first, I could not let that happen. That felt too much like a betrayal to me. It's one thing to post possible matches when family does not post here. It's entirely different to keep such a discovery from family when they do post here. Instead of this being a quick and relatively simple procedure for a determination, we had to make the decision of which was the worst of two evils. We decided Anna's family learning of this discovery from someone other than those working Anna's case - who were already aware of the discovery - was worse than giving the family this information now while so many questions were still unanswered.
It's hard to have had to make this decision knowing the wait would be long and agonizing. The one thing I have learned from this experience, is I will no longer rely on DNA information listed at NamUs as being accurate. Especially when the information on DNA is indicated as being nuclear DNA now that we know nuclear dna degrades quickly and easily, or is not as stable as mt-dna (mitochondrial dna). At the time I did not know that should have been a flag to question the accuracy of such information, I know now. Had I known, I would have called the coroner first and done my best to find all or as many of the answers surrounding the wait. Then brought the discovery to Dr. Doogie....
That said, the hardest part for me (now) is not the ultimate answer but the unanswered question surrounding an indefinate wait at this point. The answer is going to be what it is...
Thanks for letting me share that.
Hugs and peace to all while we wait, especially Anna's family.