*advertiser censored* Walk Toronto

[Charlie09]

This was an important point IMO.
If a woman fails to report rape because she is afraid of being shamed and blamed for it or the attitude gets the accused off the hook because the victim was doing X [insert reason that doesn't really justify rape] it leaves the rapist free to rape again.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/09/slutwalking-phenomenon-comes-to-uk

As I have said you guys are welcome to support it. I think the legal system is a better avenue to pursue.

 

[Emma Peel]

The term *advertiser censored* is historically intended to be offensive, shameful, demeaning and derogatory. And, it's use today by the "over-a-certain-age" group perpetuates historic meaning - the (ostensibly) morally superior (and as some argue, a fear-inflamed position) that refuses to accept, embrace, or even simply tolerate modern women's sexual revolution.

However, the fact of the matter is, the definition of the term *advertiser censored* is rapidly being mutated and diluted by today's young people who use the word to tease each other, or to humorously indicate their own belief in the enjoyment of sex for the pleasure of it.

http://www.slutwalktoronto.com/

Historically, the term ‘*advertiser censored*’ has carried a predominantly negative connotation. Aimed at those who are sexually promiscuous, be it for work or pleasure, it has primarily been women who have suffered under the burden of this label. And whether dished out as a serious indictment of one’s character or merely as a flippant insult, the intent behind the word is always to wound, so we’re taking it back. “*advertiser censored*” is being re-appropriated.

We are tired of being oppressed by *advertiser censored*-shaming; of being judged by our sexuality and feeling unsafe as a result. Being in charge of our sexual lives should not mean that we are opening ourselves to an expectation of violence, regardless if we participate in sex for pleasure or work. No one should equate enjoying sex with attracting sexual assault.

We are a movement demanding that our voices be heard. We are here to call foul on our Police Force and demand change. We want Toronto Police Services to take serious steps to regain our trust. We want to feel that we will be respected and protected should we ever need them, but more importantly be certain that those charged with our safety have a true understanding of what it is to be a survivor of sexual assault — *advertiser censored* or otherwise.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/*advertiser censored*
"a *advertiser censored* is a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you."[10] A *advertiser censored* is a person who has taken control of their sexuality and has sex with whomever they choose, regardless of religious or social pressures or conventions to conform to a straight-laced monogamous lifestyle committed to one partner for life. The term has been "taken back" to express the rejection of the concept that government, society, or religion may judge or control one's personal liberties, and the right to control one's own sexuality.

What I can't fathom is how anyone in this day and age presumes to criticize, judge and then label a woman who chooses to embrace her sexuality differently outside of marriage and very likely with successive sexual partners over the course of her life as being the "wrong" or "irresponsible" or "promiscuous"way to embrace her sexuality? :dunno: Same old, same old intolerant sanctimonious poop, IMO.

How does anyone even support the continued use of that term (and others like it) in a serious conversation about sexual violence? That's not only righteous, its wrong-headed and dangerously misguided.

Per the Slutwalk movement itself, the idea of rejecting the label of "*advertiser censored*" and other similar terms entirely, rejecting the presumption that it is even appropriate to use such labels in this day and age - this is what taking back that word and Slutwalking is all about. It's an in-your-face rejection of the idea that anyone has the right to categorize, ostracize, criticize, and make righteous judgment's about another women's sexual choices.

Much the way gay, lesbian and bi-sexual people have reclaimed their formerly demeaning, but now proud labels, women are respectively reclaiming theirs. :rocker:

I actually have first hand experience with the transition of this particular word in my own life - having raised two girls who are now in college and ...having slapped them upside the head for blurting out this word (and others) in casual conversation in our home with their friends - much to their complete surprise. And much to my initial chagrin.

In compromise, we've put the word on the "Mom's just old and finds this word offensive, so we will refrain from using it in her presence" shelf. There's plenty of words on that shelf these days, it seems, and I have advised my girls to respect that these words stay locked on that shelf not only for my sake but for their grandparents, and their own - in adult, educational, and professional (meaning older-then-them, in classrooms, at work) company.

In private, my good friends (women my age) will mimic our kids, throw caution to the wind and try out these modern mutations of the vernacular on each other. Most typically after a glass of wine. And when that happens, we are guilty of laughing ourselves slutty over it. :innocent: I mean silly.

As old as I am, it actually feels good to take those insults of old and laugh at them. It's reassuring to realize that in one generation so much progress has been made knocking down those shaming attitudes women used to have to deal with as they explored their own sexuality in their own way. :great:

:cow:

 

[OrdinaryLife]

OrdinaryLife who's an ordinary jane who was just an ordinary date rape. I dressed okay, but apparently my chest got in the way and I must have provoked my rapist.

SlutWalk is to provoke, on another level, the judgement of the word and the severe definition it makes on many innocent rape victims. *NO ONE ASKS TO BE RAPED*. Period. End of story.

 

[OrdinaryLife]

OrdinaryLife who's an ordinary jane who was just an ordinary date rape. I dressed okay, but apparently my chest got in the way and I must have provoked my rapist.

SlutWalk is to provoke, on another level, the judgement of the word and the severe definition it makes on many innocent rape victims. *NO ONE ASKS TO BE RAPED*. Period. End of story.

FWIW, no, I didn't report it. How does an ordinary jane report a rape that she must have caused herself? No bruises, no bleeding, and no torn clothing. Me thinks there are some out there that should educate themselves about rape, the guilt caused within the victim, and why many, many go unreported. *And*, the horrific humilation fear of being judged as a *advertiser censored*.

imvho

 

[Charlie09]

OrdinaryLife who's an ordinary jane who was just an ordinary date rape. I dressed okay, but apparently my chest got in the way and I must have provoked my rapist.

SlutWalk is to provoke, on another level, the judgement of the word and the severe definition it makes on many innocent rape victims. *NO ONE ASKS TO BE RAPED*. Period. End of story.

I don't see that it has that effect though. (and I'm sorry, I understand too well what happened, and I have repeatedly disagreed with the walk - not with no means no.)

 

[Donjeta]

As I have said you guys are welcome to support it. I think the legal system is a better avenue to pursue.

IMO there is no reason to choose between the two when both avenues need work. I agree that the response of the legal system to rape is an utterly important thing. Locally, there have been some rapists that got off very easy even though they were found guilty so I see a lot of work to be done there.

However, the legal system can only get their figurative hands on the perps that were reported by the victims, and since rape is notoriously underreported we should also do something to increase the victims' willingness to report.

 

[Charlie09]

FWIW, no, I didn't report it. How does an ordinary jane report a rape that she must have caused herself? No bruises, no bleeding, and no torn clothing. Me thinks there are some out there that should educate themselves about rape, the guilt caused within the victim, and why many, many go unreported. *And*, the horrific humilation fear of being judged as a *advertiser censored*.

imvho

So, in all candidness, would the *advertiser censored* walk have educated you on date rape? Would it have prepared you to go forward and report it?

 

[Quiche]

I'm glad to see this thread so alive-- I will add, that my eleven year old sister did not ask for a man to break into my father's house through the sliding glass door, and crawl into her bed with a knife at her throat. When it was reported? The police wanted to know about the older girls in the home and who may have brought the trouble with them. Iow, there must have been a *advertiser censored* in the house.

Irrational, ignorant, sexist, hurtful, and permissive, in that they didn't investigate the crime because they thought they had it alllll figured out.

 

[Charlie09]

I'm glad to see this thread so alive-- I will add, that my eleven year old sister did not ask for a man to break into my father's house through the sliding glass door, and crawl into her bed with a knife at her throat. When it was reported? The police wanted to know about the older girls in the home and who may have brought the trouble with them. Iow, there must have been a *advertiser censored* in the house.

Irrational, ignorant, sexist, hurtful, and permissive, in that they didn't investigate the crime because they thought they had it alllll figured out.

I would think it was a reasonable question, who else might have men around, I would think they would have also asked about men working there.....do you really think the *advertiser censored* walk would make a difference in how the police handled this?

 

[OrdinaryLife]

So, in all candidness, would the *advertiser censored* walk have educated you on date rape? Would it have prepared you to go forward and report it?

In all truthfulness, yes. I would not have felt alone. I would not have had within my head, "You tramp. You must have worn the wrong top. If I say anything, they (anyone. LE, family, etc...) will take one look at me and say *I* made it happen. Look at what you were wearing, the hour, and the friend you were hanging out with. Worse, I looked young for my age in the wholesome noway it happened to her way.

I would have felt empowered. If not walking in that walk, but to go to someone and tell them what happened to me without shame. Shame I ***never*** deserved to carry in the first place.

 

[Quiche]

I would think it was a reasonable question, who else might have men around, I would think they would have also asked about men working there.....do you really think the *advertiser censored* walk would make a difference in how the police handled this?

There were no men working there, this was a private residence-- and the girls he accused hadn't had their first dates yet. It was deplorable behavior then, and it's even more inexcusable these days. The SlutWalk will take hold, just watch... :rocker:

 

[Charlie09]

In all truthfulness, yes. I would not have felt alone. I would not have had within my head, "You tramp. You must have worn the wrong top. If I say anything, they (anyone. LE, family, etc...) will take one look at me and say *I* made it happen. Look at what you were wearing, the hour, and the friend you were hanging out with. Worse, I looked young for my age in the wholesome noway it happened to her way.

I would have felt empowered. If not walking in that walk, but to go to someone and tell them what happened to me without shame. Shame I ***never*** deserved to carry in the first place.

So you've participated in the *advertiser censored* walk? Or have you learned through time and education, hopefully a support group that you didn't deserve it, and had no reason to feel guilty about it?

 

[Emma Peel]

In all truthfulness, yes. I would not have felt alone. I would not have had within my head, "You tramp. You must have worn the wrong top. If I say anything, they (anyone. LE, family, etc...) will take one look at me and say *I* made it happen. Look at what you were wearing, the hour, and the friend you were hanging out with. Worse, I looked young for my age in the wholesome noway it happened to her way.

I would have felt empowered. If not walking in that walk, but to go to someone and tell them what happened to me without shame. Shame I ***never*** deserved to carry in the first place.

I'm sorry you felt so alone and felt so much shame over something you had nothing to do with and no control over.

Labels and prejudices such as those discussed on this thread are painful, harmful and oppressive.

I hope this next generation is burdened with less of this senseless guilt and these barriers to justice against sexual violence in their lifetime - not only the young women, but the young men who will soon be in the position to bring new attitudes and awareness to bear against the forces of prejudicial and judgmental sexual mores in our society.

 

[Emma Peel]

So you've participated in the *advertiser censored* walk? Or have you learned through time and education, hopefully a support group that you didn't deserve it, and had no reason to feel guilty about it?

Isn't the point here that the Slutwalk IS a support group in the form of an awareness movement? And they have no reason to feel guilty about it.

 

[OrdinaryLife]

So you've participated in the *advertiser censored* walk? Or have you learned through time and education, hopefully a support group that you didn't deserve it, and had no reason to feel guilty about it?

No, there is no SlutWalk in my area. Yes, I learned over time that I was never responsible for another persons invasion to/on me. No, I carry no guilt. If I was not okay with this very personal story, I never would have shared it. Silence helps no one.

 

[Charlie09]

No, there is no SlutWalk in my area. Yes, I learned over time that I was never responsible for another persons invasion to/on me. No, I carry no guilt. If I was not okay with this very personal story, I never would have shared it. Silence helps no one.

This is my point - I don't think the *advertiser censored* walk really empowers women who have been raped.
It may bring some awareness, but not really where the awareness needs to be made.

 

[Quiche]

This is my point - I don't think the *advertiser censored* walk really empowers women who have been raped.
It may bring some awareness, but not really where the awareness needs to be made.

This post completely baffles me--totally, completely, utterly, baffles me. :dunno:

 

[Charlie09]

This post completely baffles me--totally, completely, utterly, baffles me. :dunno:

I'm sorry it baffles you. I think it's clearly been discussed upthread that the men who are responsible for raping aren't going to be found there.

 

[not_my_kids]

Nope the rapists likely won't be at Slutwalk, but it's not always about the rapist. They had their time, during the act. Now, it's about the victim. I am a rape victim, and the idea alone makes me feel more empowered.

 

[Quiche]

I'm sorry it baffles you. I think it's clearly been discussed upthread that the men who are responsible for raping aren't going to be found there.

Oh, now it's about men who rape? Wrong, imo. Perhaps a review of the entire thread would be beneficial?

[video=youtube;mwAcr-S1LSw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwAcr-S1LSw[/video]