South Hadley,MA Phoebe Prince 15 kills self over bullying

New Posts

Status
Not open for further replies.
I was going to stay away from this thread but I won't, because what I say may be relevant.

Before I was born, my Italian American father took a prestigious teaching job for the science department at an affluent German American private school. He is brilliant man with great integrity. He raised all of his babies to maximize their IQ's, as intelligence is his number one priority.

My sister and I were ostracized. My only friends were the mentally retarded students, as we were considered that level-because our dad was foreign looking, we had brown eyes, and were strange. I always knew I wasn't the piece of crap kids told me I was. I held on until my junior year, then quit school and ran away to get away from my tormentors-some kids kill themselves, some turn to drugs and alcohol.My parents were very surprised at how bad it was for me because I never told them until I had left. I broke their hearts, but I had to get away from those people. I went on to college but I will never be normal. I am too damaged to ever be fixed either.

There are always consequences to bullying. I am always conscious of bullying and have tried to be an activist.You know what administrators tell me about bullying? That either it happens when adults are not around, or that the kids who are bullied seem to set things off in other kids. I follow research closely and found new info that some kids who are bullied can't read subtle facial expressions, such as the way eyes narrow before someone attacks, so I have devoted time teaching my two year old to read emotions with flash cards meant for autistic children. Will it work? Who knows. I have 2 older children that weren't exactly popular,so even best efforts can't always stop it. I am not sure we will ever completely be able to stop bullying as long as we cannot figure out a way to help kids feel powerful without making someone else feel small.I can't figure out if those kids who bullied her were jealous of the attention she got or if they didn't like how different her family was(because they were immigrants) but either way administrators don't know how to fix it. The new zero tolerance crap doesn't do squat, however. They just do the crap off campus.
 
Linda7NJ said:
I'm sure her parents never even considered the possibility that she would have killed herself. That really isn't the point. They WERE aware she was relentlessly tormented and abused and yet they continued to send her back for more. That's what I have a HUGE problem with.
Click to expand...

Again, to a lot of people it's not an option to take their child out of school. Usually the child is supposed to go to school at the place of residence, so it's not like the parents can transfer the child in any school they like.
And frankly I don't see how keeping a 15 year old at home is a good option either.
 
jjenny said:
Again, to a lot of people it's not an option to take their child out of school. Usually the child is supposed to go to school at the place of residence, so it's not like the parents can transfer the child in any school they like.
And frankly I don't see how keeping a 15 year old at home is a good option either.
Click to expand...
There are "education options" available - even to working parents that can't afford private schooling. I know this because I am one.

I took my 16 yr old out of her high school right before Xmas this year. Not because of "bullying" per se - but because this school is a violent powder keg and she wasn't learning anything. I was tired of constantly having to go to the office for problems the administration should have been taking care of; filthy kitchen equipment in the culinary classes - mold in the refrigerators, rat feces along the back counters :eek:, then there was the teacher that assigned this horriffic, controversial article about pregnant teenage girls and how they "shouldn't tie their self esteem to their vaginas" - YES, that was in the article and the teacher (older woman) could NOT understand why I was having a problem with this! Oh, by the way, there were 2 girls in this very class that were pregnant at the time and one hadn't told anyone (other than a few friends - my DD being one). I was scared to death that either of those girls would try to hurt themselves or their babies!!!! There are many more problems with this school - point being - OUT SHE CAME. She is considered technically "home schooled" however, she is finishing her high school online - no cost. We have a state run online high school - however, out of state students can enroll as well - I think that does cost, but its minimal - plus other states probably have their own too.

Our schools need HUGE HUGE HUGE changes, and they need them NOW! Why we are not taking care of our greatest assests, treasures, gifts from God, our future, IDK!

One big thing would be to get the politics out of education - yea I know - impossible. That is where it has to start though.

Prayers to Phoebe and her family.
 
A bullying specialist was at the school before Phoebe died...I want to know more about THAT...

The 10-week probe is not over yet, Scheibel said, indicating that charges may also be forthcoming against at least one more person.

Given the almost four-month duration of Prince’s ordeal – including taunting and physical threats – and the number of students involved in the bullying, school officials have some culpability.

During an interview on Tuesday on CBS’ “The Early Show,” nationally known anti-bullying constant Barbara Coloroso, who worked with South Hadley school officials months before Prince’s death, faulted the school for not fully following the advice. While South Hadley High “had policies in place,” Coloroso said, they need to be “toughened up.”
Click to expand...
http://www.masslive.com/opinion/index.ssf/2010/03/editorial_finding_justice_for.html
 
SWAG1959 said:
There are "education options" available - even to working parents that can't afford private schooling. I know this because I am one.

I took my 16 yr old out of her high school right before Xmas this year. Not because of "bullying" per se - but because this school is a violent powder keg and she wasn't learning anything. I was tired of constantly having to go to the office for problems the administration should have been taking care of; filthy kitchen equipment in the culinary classes - mold in the refrigerators, rat feces along the back counters :eek:, then there was the teacher that assigned this horriffic, controversial article about pregnant teenage girls and how they "shouldn't tie their self esteem to their vaginas" - YES, that was in the article and the teacher (older woman) could NOT understand why I was having a problem with this! Oh, by the way, there were 2 girls in this very class that were pregnant at the time and one hadn't told anyone (other than a few friends - my DD being one). I was scared to death that either of those girls would try to hurt themselves or their babies!!!! There are many more problems with this school - point being - OUT SHE CAME. She is considered technically "home schooled" however, she is finishing her high school online - no cost. We have a state run online high school - however, out of state students can enroll as well - I think that does cost, but its minimal - plus other states probably have their own too.

Our schools need HUGE HUGE HUGE changes, and they need them NOW! Why we are not taking care of our greatest assests, treasures, gifts from God, our future, IDK!

One big thing would be to get the politics out of education - yea I know - impossible. That is where it has to start though.

Prayers to Phoebe and her family.
Click to expand...
I presume somebody is at home to watch your daughter?
Otherwise, how is that going to work if there is no one home to watch the child while he or she is learning on line?
 
THIS passes for leadership???

"The chairman of the South Hadley School Committee pooh-poohed a prosecutor’s investigation into the death of Phoebe Prince yesterday, questioning key findings even as the superintendent of schools remained on a West Coast vacation amid the upheaval.

School Committee Chairman Edward J. Boisselle threw cold water on Northwestern District Attorney Elizabeth D. Scheibel’s announcement Monday that “Phoebe’s harassment was common knowledge” in the high school.

“I don’t know how that’s factually based,” Boisselle said. “Did they go interview all 700 kids at the school and found out that more than 300 knew about it? Isn’t that the only way you could tell that they factually knew about it?”
Click to expand...

"As for Superintendent of Schools Gus A. Sayer, he is attending a wedding on the West Coast and remained on vacation yesterday, officials said.

“There was no way for him to know that the DA was going to be speaking,” Boisselle said. “Anyway, Dr. Sayer has never taken the amount of vacation that he has coming to him.”
Click to expand...

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1243564
 
If I was a parent with a student in that district, I would be mortified. This "leadership" is deplorable at best.
 
Well I think I've got a grasp on what the problem is....according to Boisselle and the one mother we've heard from.....There is no problem!
 
So what's he saying that the bullying is not serious unless 300 or more kids new about it? I'm really having a hard time wrapping my mind around Boisselle's comment.
 
jjenny said:
I presume somebody is at home to watch your daughter?
Otherwise, how is that going to work if there is no one home to watch the child while he or she is learning on line?
Click to expand...
well yes, I usually am. However, at times when I work outside the home (I have been lucky enough that I work inline as well) - we have elderly neighbors across the street - plus she is 16 and a very responsible person.

You are right about little ones though - someone would have to be there.

I'm not saying homeschooling or online schooling is the answer - its not! I don't particularly like the disadvantages of it - but its better than worrying every morning about what's going to happen today.

There are other alternatives, other answers, other cures for our education in America. Its just sad that most of them will never come to be because the politicians won't keep their hands out of the cookie jar.

Seems like this school district has a superintendent like the one we have here. Nowhere in America are our kids coming first (I shouldn't say that - I'm sure there are some smaller districts that are really doing a good job - but certainly not in our big cities - where there is big money)
 
SuziQ said:
So what's he saying that the bullying is not serious unless 300 or more kids new about it? I'm really having a hard time wrapping my mind around Boisselle's comment.
Click to expand...

IMO he's grasping at straws and splitting hairs to prove to himself that he's not at fault.
 
From article: Angeles Chanon admitted that her daughter, Sharon Chanon Velazquez, 16, had once been suspended from school for verbally abusing Phoebe - but blamed the bullied girl for starting it.

"(Sharon) exchanged a couple of words with her," Chanon told the Boston Herald. "Phoebe was calling her names. They're teenagers. They call names."

Chanon insisted her daughter never "physically assaulted" Phoebe, no matter what the District Attorney says.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...ent_phoebe_prince_into_sui.html#ixzz0jlUFV9B1

Perhaps someone might explain to Sharon's mother that unlike the scars from physical abuse, the wounds from verbal and mental abuse are not so quick to heal. Quite often this " exchange of words" ( as she put it) requires love, compassion, understanding and more often that not professional help to work through the more serious cases.

Another sad note it appears that recently a group of parents joined together to form the South Hadley Anti Bullying Task force. This groups leader had a daughter that had recently dropped out of school because of the harassment, anyway, the leader was just killed in a motorcycle accident last week. Very sad but I hope that the other parents pull together and continue on for this much needed cause in their community.
 
Linda7NJ said:
I'm sure her parents never even considered the possibility that she would have killed herself. That really isn't the point. They WERE aware she was relentlessly tormented and abused and yet they continued to send her back for more. That's what I have a HUGE problem with.
Click to expand...

They were aware of the problems and continued to do what they could. It was over a short time frame of 3 months. The school suspended one student (the daughter of the woman who blames the victim). I will say that I would have done the exact same thing. Kept going regarding talking to my child and school administration.

I do not understand the harsh judgment against parents who did do the best they could. Blows my mind.....
 
I was never bullied. Lucky, I guess. And I never bullied, either...but my eldest was bullied...because he was smart. Very smart. They called him the "mad scientist". He had little in common with those his age. At 8, he watched Nova, a science program, while classmates raved about the Simpson's. I complained...and went to the schools - we moved alot- I was told "Boys will be boys" by one principal. I kept telling my Son throughout High School, "Hang on...it'll all be better in University...there will be more people like you, smart will be cool then..." and I'd tell him, "Those "cool" kids will be working at McDonalds when you drive through in your BMW".

He made it. He's graduating with a B.A. this year...and working toward a Master's in Computer Science and he has a great social life with smart, interesting friends.

I'm so grateful...I just wish no child would have to experience such pain. That's why I'm here.
 
"Somewhere in South Hadley, if Northwestern District Attorney Elizabeth D. Scheibel is correct, there are adults, including school officials, whose cowardice was as much to blame for Phoebe Prince’s suicide as any adolescent cruelty.

Once they became aware of what the heartless crowd was doing, they, too, had a role to play, either becoming a part of Phoebe’s solution, or one more part of her problem.

According to this indignant DA, they chose the latter, deciding to look the other way, allowing the mob to run amok, mercilessly hounding this 15-year-old kid until the only escape she could imagine came at the end of a rope."
Click to expand...

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1243545
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

DNASolves

Who is Escambia County John Doe (1989)?

Members online

... and 96 more.
Total: 3,309 (members: 97, guests: 3,212)

Online statistics

Members online
97
Guests online
3,212
Total visitors
3,309
Totals may include hidden visitors.

Forum statistics

Threads
592,283
Messages
17,966,569
Members
228,735
Latest member
dil2288
Back
Top