Stressed/school issue

Discussion in 'Bullies and Stalkers' started by Kinpa4, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. Kinpa4

    Kinpa4 New Member

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    What would you guys suggest? My son is in 8th grade and today he was facing the lockers talking to someone and a boy came up behind him and grabbed his head and snapped his neck back leading to my son needing an ER visit. They did a ct scan and said it was a muscle sprain. He is on muscle relaxers for it and to take it easy for the week and recheck at the drs on a few days. I think this boy should be charged with assault. Am I being reasonable? My son has been bullied many times before. This kid is also in 2 classes with him, which my son is now afraid to be in there with him.
     
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  3. thepinkdragon

    thepinkdragon Verified US Army Veteran/Certified Veteran's Menta

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    Wow that is horrendous! Your poor son. Give him hugs and snuggles! Omg I would be so furious! What did the school do to the bully? If they didn't take any action against the child then yes I would press charges. Even if they did do something I think I still would. I shudder to think what that kid will do next if left to his own volition without consequences. I hope your son and your nerves get better soon.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
     
  4. Veidt

    Veidt New Member

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    That's awful, I'm sorry for your son. Do you know what happened, if they had previously had a fight or if that was a completely random thing?

    My advice is to go to the principal or a teacher and bring this up to them. Do they know about the situation and have they done anything? Finding out the context through your son and going to the school first could clear things up easier... for example if it was a silly joke gone wrong, the other kid needs to be called out and taught that some things are dangerous and hurtful but pressing charges is too much. The school may not know the situation was so severe or may have put it down to a kids' fight so finding out what happened and informing them makes it easier for them to do something. You should also get them to call the other kid's parents to the school, some parents let their kids bully others but many would like to know so that even if the school lets him off the hook they can still take a stand.
     
  5. momrids6

    momrids6 JUSTICE FOR JENNIFER

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    The doctor is a mandated reporter- have him report it.
     
  6. flipflop

    flipflop Active Member

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    Not sure where you are from, but in my area our schools have zero tolerance towards violence to take a stand against bullying. You should report this immediately, your son has had bodily injury....what next....don't wait for it to happen again, your son is telling you he is afraid, you need to report this.
     
  7. Melanie

    Melanie Inactive

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    What is the school doing about it? Since your son was assaulted, I would hope the hospital would report the incident to the police/school/etc. Please let us know what's going on - as swift reporting is most necessary here.

    Most schools have zero tolerance, and this certainly falls under that category.

    All the best,

    Melanie
     
  8. Kinpa4

    Kinpa4 New Member

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    Thanks everyone, the school will not tell me what is going to be done. They just say it will be taken care of. That doesn't help me out. I want to know what the procedure is. Our schools obviously don't have a no tolerance policy.
     
  9. milkymama

    milkymama Member

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    If this was an adult doing this to another adult, this would be considered assault. Should be no different for kids. The doctors report is proof that there was injury. Call the police.
     
  10. ATasteOfHoney

    ATasteOfHoney Active Member

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    Aside from demanding the school and doctor do the proper interventions, you need to enroll your son into a karate school. He needs to build his confidence so that he does not view himself as a victim.
    And it will keep him active, happy, healthy too! (>;
     
  11. 21merc7

    21merc7 New Member

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    Don't wait for the emergency room to report it, they may not. The school is not talking with you, which is not a good sign, they know you have some sort of possible case/claim here.

    Go to the police yourself and take out charges.
     
  12. MissSunshine

    MissSunshine New Member

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    When my son was assaulted at school I went to the police after the school failed to do anything. A boy stole my son's hat then grabbed him by the head and humped his face while other boys stood around yelling rape. I contacted the school after my son told me because the school apparently did not think it was important enough to call me. I went there the next day and demanded answers from the principal. The only answers I got was that they already knew about the incident because other kids who were in the bathroom when it happened reported it and that the boy who did it was very sorry and he was suspended for one day.

    Anyway, going to the police worked out for the best. The boy was charged with several things and had to go to court. I opted for meditation first to meet with the boy and his parents. The mediation was wonderful and so were the parents and, believe it or not, so was the boy.

    It would have been nice if the school did the mediation and I didn't have to go to the police. Maybe you could suggest some sort of thing like that to the guidance counselor?
     
  13. txsvicki

    txsvicki Active Member

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    If there is another high school in your town you can go to the administrative office and demand a transfer based on bullying. I think it is federal law but is also state law here in Texas. I used it for a middle school grand daughter. You might check your state laws. If you're in a small town the bully might have to pay a fine plus travel by bus over to a larger town for several weeks of alternative school. A Grade 10 student might not be settled down by that action though. I think they ought to be expelled and flunk the semester like back when I was in school.
     
  14. Kinpa4

    Kinpa4 New Member

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    Thank you, my son is involved in wrestling teams. But he would never fight anyone. He has aspergers and its just not in him. Our school district has its own police and I called them, I'm waiting on a call back. It's been hours. I texted my son at school and the kid is still there. He tried saying he didn't do it. There are 3 witnesses who say he did.
     
  15. MissSunshine

    MissSunshine New Member

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    My son has Asperger's as well. Does your son have an IEP and if so is there someone that you deal with/keep in regular contact with about it? If so, reach out to them, also. The more noise you make the more people are going to hear.

    If all else fails, call the Board of Education.

     
  16. TGIRecovered

    TGIRecovered Well-Known Member

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    This is absolutely correct. Make a police report NOW. The school is negligent for not calling the police and making a report as soon as they were notified that your son was injured.

    I teach kids your son's age. There are violent kids who do this kind of thing every single day and they get away with it because usually parents don't take it seriously. You son was assaulted and injured. The boy who did this will do it over and over and hurt other kids until he gets older and starts beating his girlfriend instead.

    It is a sure bet that his parents will whine and holler and threaten to sue the school if their son is held responsible for his actions. They will probably even try to blame this on your son. That is probably why the school did not call police in the first place. Vice principals get tired of the fits thrown by parents of violent bullies, sometimes they avoid dealing with it properly. They have a very stressful job and you could not pay me enough to do it!

    You are going to have to be the one to put a stop to this. Ignore anyone who tries to tell you that the kid was "just joking around" or "didn't mean to hurt him". That is a lie that violent people use to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Don't be fooled. Teach your son the right way to deal with violent people...no need to cower behind a locker or retaliate, just report this assault to the police and press charges. You will be doing the bully a favor. He needs to know that he is not above the law and must suffer the consequences of assault without provocation and assault with bodily injury.

    Document everything. Notify the school but deal with the police. Bullies are not deterred one bit by any kind of "punishment " that the school can dish out. They are used to being in "on campus suspension", lunch detention and the principal's office. That is all that the school can do; it's nothing more than a brief time out. Those things have no effect at all on kids who are bullies.

    All of this is just MOO!
     
  17. Sha

    Sha New Member

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    ABSOLUTELY press charges!!!!
     
  18. Cubby

    Cubby fly the W!

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    Post of the day!! I could not have said it better. I agree 100%.
     
  19. Kinpa4

    Kinpa4 New Member

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    Hi, just wanted to give a little update. My son went to school yesterday and we talked to the principal and I also called the school police. The city police won't get involved since the school ones are to do it. So yesterday some other kid was messing with his neck brace. And he heard 2 boys joking about how the one kid "broke his neck". I took him back to school and spoke with them again today and the school police finally called me today. The principal said they looked at the video and didn't see anything. At this point my guess is they did something to the video before they showed it to anyone. But the 2 girls who were right there told them who it was and still nothing has happened. The principal said I need more than that. I said how much more do you need? Geez if I did something and one person picked me out of a line up then I'd be guilty. 2 people said it was him. Anyway the police said they were going to the school today. Both the school and the police said they would get back to me and they didn't today. I told them my son wasn't coming back until something is done. My son also had his follow up dr visit and they have him out of school until at least Monday. If he is still in pain Monday we call the dr again.
    I just don't know what they need to freaking do something, DNA? I mean come on. My sister said that's like saying someone could get shot or stabbed and if they don't have 50 witnesses then they can't do anything. Ugh.
     
  20. Kinpa4

    Kinpa4 New Member

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    One more small update, was just informed by one of the girls who told on the boy that he threatened her today at school. Saying he didn't do anything and she better not say anything about him or he will beat her up.
     
  21. momrids6

    momrids6 JUSTICE FOR JENNIFER

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    Your state has an advocacy office: google your state and advocacy office disabled. Should pull it- if you can't find it- get ahold of me. Call them. Since he has asperger's-you should have a local or state support group- call them too. If you have an attorney- call him. There are ways to tell if video has been altered. You need more support. I would enlist the help of the girls' parents also.
     

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