This probably isn't true but it's a great story!

Discussion in 'Bizarre and Off-Beat News' started by Steely Dan, Dec 5, 2009.

  1. Steely Dan

    Steely Dan Former Member

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    http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/17bft.../2009/08/posted-to-craigs-list-personals.html

    August 10, 2009
    Posted to Craig's List Personals

    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 A M EST.

    I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message.

    I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. It was not cold, but I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for Christmas, and we picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you left your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I didn't want your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.

    I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explained your situation. I bought myself and four other people in the gas station a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with the cash in your wallet. I threw the wallet in a pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the driver side.
    I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I got in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).

    I'd like to apologize for not killing you, and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I hope you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. - Alex


    :loser:
     
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  3. mysteriew

    mysteriew A diamond in process

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    LOL, I don't care if it is true or not, but it is a great story!
     
  4. not_my_kids

    not_my_kids New Member

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    That was so perfectly what I needed. Who cares if it's true?
     
  5. SunnieRN

    SunnieRN Active Member

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    :woohoo:
     
  6. Opie

    Opie Well-Known Member

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    Now that's a story that illustrates the expression "don't get mad, get even." Don't even care if it's true. It's a great story.
     
  7. DeepThinker

    DeepThinker Find Kyron

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    LOVE it!!!!:dance:
     
  8. southcitymom

    southcitymom New Member

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  9. Steely Dan

    Steely Dan Former Member

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  10. not_my_kids

    not_my_kids New Member

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    I would love to believe that at some point in time it was true.
    Probably not, but the thought alone makes me smile.
    (Can you tell I've been mugged?)
     

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