Hello M (as in MGardner) and All,
This evening I mused about getting in the car and driving halfway across the country just so that I could listen to the opening statements with my own ears. I do not believe that there will be anyone recording or broadcasting these.
Personally, I would like to hear the opening statements directly. I would like to see the faces of the jurors as they listen, and observe their reactions. I would like to watch Chris' body language and behavior. I would like to see who sits where in the courtroom and how each person responds.
As I thought about heading to the trial, I thought about something
Perry County Circuit Judge James Campanella told the jurors prior to jury selection:
>>Down to business, he suggested the prospective jurors should "just become a machine," emotionally detached, like the Star Trek character Spock. "Do what you're supposed to do."<<
I wonder who will be our eyes and ears in the courtroom? We have listened for news for two weeks while jury selection was underway. The news flow has been so minimal, the descriptions, the accounts of what is occurring has been slim...
I know that there are several reporters who have written and who "seem" to have a heavy heart for Sheri and the children. I know that reporters are supposed to "report the news" and not just spew their emotions, yet this whole case can do very little but cause a world of emotions in the person/s who hears of it.
But who will be our eyes and ears, who will watch the body language of the jurors as they walk in and sit down the first day? Who will watch it and report what they see as the jurors walk out of the room having heard the opening statements? This is what I want to hear about from the reporters.
Coupled with what they are hearing, I want the reporters to tell us what they are seeing. I can visualize people walking in to hear the case, people who are not often encumbered with the heaviest of burdens. I can imagine their frames as rather erect, with their shoulders relatively squared as they approach the task before them, yet showing signs that they know that there is a heavy cloud over their head. They are somewhat aware of what they are walking into, but do they know, are they really prepared for the rain that is about to fall?
The judge brought up something that really is a dilemma... The jurors will hear the facts. Well, actually they will hear many facts and they will hear other things which are not facts. There will be days of varying thud sounds as things are thrown on the wall to see if they might stick. The defense is going to fling those "reasonable doubt" hope-they-stick items out there. The prosecution is forced to present the information that will undoubtedly send the hearts, souls, minds and spirits of the jurors to their emotional and "too much information" knees.
Before the end of the first day, I might guess that the jurors will be thinking, "Take this cup from me." In a large way, these people are laying down their lives for Sheri and the children, they are even laying down their lives for Chris. The latter is a very sobering, troublesome thought, knowing what I know thus far. There are the victims and the victimizer. Will the jurors end up recognizing that they are not sitting across the room from the "innocent" (presumed), but that they are in the presence of a monster -- the victimizer?
The jurors will almost definitely feel some sense of satisfaction that they are sacrificing their eyes, ears, minds and spirits to be used for the sake of the victims i.e. "I am doing this incredibly painful thing for you dear people, you didn't deserve what happened to you." But how will the jurors come to feel as days wear on? How will they feel on the particular day when they hear that particular bit of information that sends them flying off the fence at lightning speed? How will they feel when they solidly smack down on the side of the fence that states to them that they are not only sitting across the room from the victimizer, but they have become one of his victims. The victimizer had it in his power to prevent further carnage, mind's eyes indelibly etched with that which they have had to look upon.
When it hits these people that they have sacrificed to sit day in and day out to give the victimizer every benefit of the doubt until they could no longer do so, what will their body language speak? What will their countenance speak? And who will they eventually be able to vent to in order to unload some of the burden they were forced to carry, not for Sheri and the children, but -- in the end -- for Chris, one of the most cold hearted murderers that it is unimaginable, for Chris, a man who was so loathing of everyone other than himself, that he would not admit his wrongdoing and prevent further damage to the hearts and souls of the society that permitted him to breathe beyond May 5th, 2009.
For some 10 years I received autopsy reports for study. These weren't just any reports, they were the reports of the mothers, fathers, sons and daughters of people I considered to be my friends. All deaths were sudden, mysterious, there was no preparation for them...there was, however, no thought of crime surrounding these deaths. The ages of the deceased -- a description that is hard for me to speak because the deceased held spirits that were so meaningful prior to their being "deceased" -- were in varying decades, but mostly they were 40 or younger, a number of them were in their teens.
My scientific interests and "medical investigator mind" permitted me to read as if I was "Spock" -- so to speak -- most of the time, but certainly not always. There were those times when in the midst of the paragraphs I began to feel as if I needed to separate myself from the document I was reading. This report was not just about what a slice of this person's heart could show us -- signs that could help us to someday prevent other similar deaths -- this was about our looking at a slice of heart that was beating just hours ago. It was about the heart of a beloved teenage son, a son for whom a mother was grieving so severely that it was unfathomable. It was about the heart of an adored young sister who was carrying a full term nephew who was only days away from being born when his mommy's heart stopped beating. It was about the heart of a dad whose strange complaints and ailments were so misunderstood that no one saw the signs that were screaming, "Protect me from sudden death."
At the times when I could not "spock-separate" myself from that which I was reading, I was able to flip the reports over on my desk, get up and go sleep off the pain with a nap, or stand on the porch and soak in the valley view which stretched on for over a hundred miles, or the soft clouds breaking up the otherwise somewhat boring clear blue sky, or the mountain tops covered with snow in the distance. I was able to salve my wearied spirit with some of that which was good in life, that which was gentle, that which was natural and right and okay...
The jurors who are forced to hear this case will not be able to flip a report over on their desk and walk away for a few moments when they need it. They will not be able to raise their hand and say, "Break time please -- I've had enough for the moment and for a lifetime actually." There will be too many real breaks needed for those 16 people to allow that and still keep the trial moving forward. Even if the jurors could get up for a break when needed, they could not really retreat to anything good, or gentle, or natural or right OR okay anywhere very close to where it is allowable for them to take their break. That break space would likely keep them breathing the same air Chris Coleman is breathing. Allowed to go out on a courthouse porch for a break, they would be reminded that within minutes they will need to turnaround and go back into Chris Coleman air space -- what could be natural, or refreshing or good about that breaktime thought?
Sheri, Gavin and Garrett's family and friends, the jurors, courtroom recorder and judge, the reporters and courtroom visitors will all need our prayers... As much as I try to shake the images formed by reading the autopsy reports that I did, I cannot...the images return and unsettle me. Those images were not graphic -- they were imagined. Those in the courtroom will have to learn new ways to erase or put aside memories, to dull returning mind's eye images. Some of them may need counseling or sedatives to help them through post traumatic stress.
Chris could stop some of his crimes against mankind before Monday arrives. I would be the most pleased with that. Will he stop a furthering of the tears, an exacerbation of the grief that is already too much to bear? I don't think so, but I still pray that he will. He has a day left to do that, a day and a morning. I can hope, we can all hope together. While I hope, I hope that he doesn't try to "step out" leaving anyone deluded, he needs to let those who entertain any innocence in him know that there isn't any innocence in him where this crime is concerned. My gut would go ballistic thinking that I might ever have to hear, "Poor Chris, he couldn't take being wrongly accused." Oh no...that would never work. Chris Coleman has not been wrongly accused.