After the truth came out that we’d been living in Panama together, I continually wrote to Mark and Anthony to say: ‘I am so sorry. I really do love you.’
“But they refused to see or talk to me. The first time I set eyes on them [afterwards] was at my trial when Mark was the first to testify against me. After he left the witness box, he only lifted his eyes fleetingly to meet mine.
“I was totally shocked by how dark and full of anger they were. To see that was absolutely horrendous. It jolted me. I could easily have buckled then and there.”...
Anne’s book, Out of My Depth, is not only a mea culpa and a bid to repay the costs of the massive three-day search and rescue operation for John after he “disappeared” in his canoe on March 21, 2002. It is also a love letter to her children...
While anyone who reads the book can see that John Darwin had all the traits of a narcissistic personality disorder – grandiose behaviour, fantasies of success, and lack of empathy – the burning question has always been what role did Anne, a previously devoted mother, play in all this?...
was she a woman whose failed defence of “marital coercion” should have been taken more seriously?...
In one shattering interview, Anthony said: “Dad told one nasty lie and disappeared … but she lied for six years. She kept on lying even when the evidence was so overwhelmingly against her. She dragged us through hell by forcing a court case. Her maternal instincts didn’t kick in for a second to protect us.”
Even though their father had hatched the plan, Anne has committed the cardinal sin of failing them as a mother.
Mark went one step further, saying: “The mother I had respected and loved all my life seemed to have been transformed into a hideous, lying ***** who had gone to outrageous lengths to con us.”...
When, on her release in 2011, John sent Anne a photograph of herself branded with a copyright symbol – to imply she was still his property – she also took out an injunction, forbidding contact. She laughs when she recalls how it was John who finally divorced her on the grounds of “unreasonable behaviour”...
She and the boys are reconciled now. She has been on holidays with their families and expects to spend Christmas with them too. Last year for her 63rd birthday, she had the only thing she ever wanted – calls from both sons, wishing her a happy birthday.
Set aside are two copies of the book for the boys, with a personal inscription. Anne admits she does not know if they will ever read them, but they are there if they need to understand more...
Anne Darwin will donate any proceeds from the book to the RNLI and the RSPCA
