Still Missing VA - Bethany Decker, 21, Ashburn, 29 Jan 2011

Discussion in 'Currently Awaiting Trial' started by Truthful Lies, Mar 1, 2011.

  1. hollye

    hollye Well-Known Member

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    Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

    I am gathering that he may have continued staying at Bethany's grandparents' residence for the final few days, while Bethany returned to the apartment to be ready for school on Monday and/or pack up the apartment. What happened that weekend must have happened before she had a chance to pack.
     


  2. CMac2

    CMac2 Well-Known Member

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    I agree. I think at best, she had a bad relationship with her family, and they don't want people to know that. They may be concerned that if the public finds out it's not out of character for them to go weeks on end without speaking to her, then the investigation won't be taken as seriously OR the family is concerned that they will be unfairly judged for the estrangement with Bethany.

    I just don't understand why no one- not just the hubby, but her family too- sounded the alarm when she disappeared in the days before he redeployed. Maybe Bethany and hubs were not on good terms by the time he left, and that's why no one was surprised she wasn't there to see him off?
     
  3. hollye

    hollye Well-Known Member

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    Bethany and Emile got back from Hawaii on Sunday, Jan 23rd, before classes were to begin on Monday, Jan 24th. Did Bethany attend any classes that week or did she spend the entire week, as articles have indicated, at her grandparents' house with her husband on his final week of R&R?

    She last spoke with her son and parents, while at her grandparents' house, on Friday, Jan 28th. Did she head home that evening? Or did she wait until the next day on Saturday, Jan 29th, to head back to Virginia? Did the last transactions that LE notes occur on her way back to Virginia Or after she had already returned to Virginia?

    Did she head back to the apartment to pack up over the weekend since she was supposed to be out of the apartment by Tuesday, Feb 1st, and she had spent the previous weeks with Emile in Hawaii and at her grandparents' house in Maryland and hadn't had a chance to pack yet?

    Something obviously happened after she returned to Virginia, as her car was found at the apartment complex. I am thinking now that that something happened before Bethany had even had a chance to really begin packing on Saturday, Jan 29th, if indeed, she had to be out of the apartment by Feb 1st.

    She would have had school on Monday, Jan 31st. I am guessing that she didn't attend classes that day nor any day for the Spring semester, if she was with Emile in MD that entire 1st week of classes.
     
  4. hollye

    hollye Well-Known Member

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    Va. investigators searching for missing pregnant woman

    http://www.wtop.com/?nid=41&sid=2291995

    BBM

    So does this mean that Emile returned with Bethany to the apartment? If so, then hmmm....
     
  5. curiousc

    curiousc New Member

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    Very sad and strange case. Who was the very last to have seen Bethany? Was it a jealous husband or was it a jealous, rejected BF?

    May she be found soon.
     
  6. Lunar1121

    Lunar1121 Active Member

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    As far as some of you thinking the military may have requested the facebook page shutdown that is possible. My husband's unit HATES facebook and we have to be very careful as to what we put on our sites in regards to the military. IF the military had anything to do with the page being shut down it wouldn't be his unit or just the military in general though, but most likey someone like OSI who was actually performing an investigation.

    Interesting timeline, at least we have one now (for the most part). I am most curious about her not being there to see her husband off. If this was prearranged, like she had to go to class since apparently she missed her first week, or what!? ETA: ok after reading the below article wich someone provided I can not say for sure if she missed her first week of classes. That article says the day before she went missing she was at her grandparents house. It doesn't say anything about being there for a week. I have also heard conflicting accounts on if her family was there seeing him off or not. Do we know where he left from?

    http://www.leesburg2day.com/articles/2011/03/02/news/9256missing030211.txt
     
  7. Jaxson

    Jaxson Your barkin' up the wrong tree

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    I don't feel I have read anything that indicates her relationship with family was bad. They say they were in contact through facebook and that she texted with them frequently. I know my family lives in the same town as I do and we are all close, however we use facebook to keep up with each other and sometimes we get caught up in all the stuff of life and weeks can easily slip by. If everyone is busy we can sometimes think back and find a month or six weeks has passed since we talked or were in contact. It is just life nowadays and doesn't make me think relationships were bad, estranged, etc.

    I just think maybe they let some time pass and then tried to contact her and couldn't reach her but did not think something bad was happening. Just thought she was busy...then still no contact and they got concerned. Hindsight, you know?

    I have read nothing except the one comment that indicates anything out of the ordinary. Ignore that comment and what do you have?

    A young mother, pregnant, going to school full time, and working.
    A toddler being cared for by grandma because mom is loaded down and she could help with him. Daycare is not cheap, they may not have wanted to leave him with a stranger while she was in classes, working, studying. Doesn't really leave much time for her to spend with him anyway. Not what a lot of us would have done, but that doesn't make it wrong or bad. I think her family may have been very supportive. If she was in a different town for school she probably did not have a support system there. She may not have had anyone to help care the child, especially with all the hours she was putting in.

    I am feeling like this girl had a great family and a great husband and something bad happened to her. Something related to her, new town, apt, school.

    I think she was probably expected to see her husband off at the airport and didn't make it because something happened to her. Family/husband may have though she was late, forgot when the plane was leaving, over slept etc. Lots of innocuous possibilities that wouldn't mean something was wrong.

    I am not ready to believe she had a man on the side that she was living with either. Someone from school could have posted that making assumptions about a boyfriend but he could have easily been just a roommate. They did sound like they had inside information but that is the only comment and no where else is anything mentioned.

    Hubby deploys, comes home for R&R, they go to Hawaii, they come back and stay with her grandparents, she heads back to school (after spending what sounds like every minute she could with him since classes had started already) and he is getting ready to fly out. She also needed to pack to move for whatever reason. Eviction, no longer has a roommate and can't afford it alone, doesn't want to sign a lease when she has so little time until graduating. Lots of reasons!
     
  8. Soulmagent

    Soulmagent Well-Known Member

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    Bethany apears to have alot of stress in her life right now.
    Bethany's husband was deployed to a war zone.
    Her son is living with her mother.
    She has a job.
    She is in her last year of school.
    She is expecting a baby.
    Her lease was running out.
    I think this is an awsome amount of pressure for such a young girl. I can see why a family relationship could be strained. I dont believe at this point we have enough information to conclude it was not the normal types of family strain for people in the position Bethany is in. Some young girls(women) her age do use their family as a vessel to let off steam.

    objectively it would not always mean the relationship was bad. However it would indicate Bethany was feeling the affects of a full plate and the plate was spilling over to her families plate which would create tension.
     
  9. Lunar1121

    Lunar1121 Active Member

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    I agree with most everything you said Jaxson, especially about her family and her son. I find now issue (so far) in her work/school/child care issue. The only thing I am questioning is her seeing her husband off. I just wish we had more information on that front.
     
  10. SurfieTX

    SurfieTX Well-Known Member

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    Would she have been eligible for military housing?
     
  11. TripleA

    TripleA New Member

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    Not all bases have housing available. Plus, many soldiers choose to live off base and collect BAQ money instead to offset the living costs.
     
  12. hollye

    hollye Well-Known Member

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    Good question! Maybe, but where? Fort Belvoir would likely be the closest and I see on another forum that FB allows active National Guard to live on post. http://www.nationalguard.com/forums/showthread.php/12577-Housing

    But would she have qualified with ehr husband deployed?

    This would put her even closer to her parents and son.
     
  13. Jaxson

    Jaxson Your barkin' up the wrong tree

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    I feel whatever happened to her, happened before he got on the plane. Whether it was a stranger, someone she was in school with, or her husband. Right now I don't get a funny feeling from the husband, but I would like to know why he hadn't raised an alarm if she had planned to see him off and then no contact with her since he left. (I guess I don't know that he didn't) I'm a National Guard wife and have bil's deployed. They have weekly contact with their wives at least through email, if not actual phone calls. My niece just returned from Afghanistan last month and she posted on facebook what she was up to daily while she was over there. (Including tanning and getting her hair colored, it's a different military world these days) She is Navy though and was on post and not in the field and I am not sure of his mission.
     
  14. Lunar1121

    Lunar1121 Active Member

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    That's my thing too ... why was no alarm raised when she didn't show, either by him or her family if they were in fact there. If she planned on not being there (had class, etc.) then I can understand but we don't know and it's killing me.

    As far as military housing, I am not sure if that is something you can get while your spouse is deployed. I believe it would have to be arranged before hand. We have always lived off base ourselves.
     
  15. Jaxson

    Jaxson Your barkin' up the wrong tree

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    Once a guardsman is deployed he is active duty and falls under full time Amy regulations so yes she would be eligible but it would have to be available and BAQ might have been better with her in school. I am not sure how close FB is to the college.



    ETA I called hubby to double check. National Guard is not eligible for base housing at any time. My bad.
     
  16. hollye

    hollye Well-Known Member

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    Fort Belvoir is approximately as close to GMU as Ashburn is. I lived at home, very close to Fort Belvoir when I went to GMU.
     
  17. Lunar1121

    Lunar1121 Active Member

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    This article that came up an hour ago states "Bethany 's family thought it was unusual that she didn't go to the airport to see her husband off when he re-deployed on Feb. 2, just days after she was last seen."

    Yet they wait 2.5 weeks?!

    I know this is examiner but I believe we are allowed to post it as long as it's from Isabelle?!
    http://www.examiner.com/missing-per...old-pregnant-mason-university-student-missing
     
  18. Jaxson

    Jaxson Your barkin' up the wrong tree

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    Sorry Hollye, I edited my post to reflect that I was wrong :eek:. She would NOT be eligible to live on base.
     
  19. hollye

    hollye Well-Known Member

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    I think a lot hinges on whether or not Emile came back to the apartment with Bethany on the 28th or 29th. Or if he stayed with her grandparents until he was due to depart.

    If he went back to the apartment with her, then I think he needs to be looked at closely, especially since, according to the article upthread, he was the last person to see Bethany. And would have a better understanding of under what circumstances he was the last to see her. And if he had gone back to the apartment, I think a red flag would have been raised if she disappeared soon after they returned to VA, when they were supposed to be spending the last days of his R&R together.

    If he did not travel back to the apartment with her for whatever reason, then I can understand the possibility that a red flag was not raised with him not seeing her for the final days of his R&R. Maybe they thought she got busy with school and couldn't get away, etc. Maybe they were not on good terms when she headed back to VA. Maybe it was tentative whether she would be at the airport.
     
  20. hollye

    hollye Well-Known Member

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    Even Fort Belvoir? That is contradictory to what someone stated on the forum I posted, but they may have been incorrect.
     

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