Walk a mile in Kaine's shoes...

Discussion in 'Kyron Horman' started by stmarysmead, Sep 6, 2010.

  1. stmarysmead

    stmarysmead Well-Known Member

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    My Mother had an annoying habit whenever one of us criticized someone else. She'd ask us to imagine ourselves in exactly the same circumstances, exactly the same...and then try to understand how that feels...and then say how, under those circumstances...we'd have done things differently.

    Criticizing is easy. Not so easy if these things are happening to YOU or someone you love.

    Some posters seem to feel that Kaine should not be "airing Terri's dirty laundry"...that he handled the Murder for Hire response badly. Fair enough. But I'm interested in exactly WHAT they think Kaine should have done after LE told him of the Murder For Hire Plot.

    I'd like to ask everyone to imagine this: find a place where you can actually get inside this case...for me, I'm going to pretend I'm Kaine's Mother. Kyron and Baby K are my grandchildren. Now, I don't know what the real relationship between the real grandparents and these children are...but I'm just trying to feel the emotions. Maybe others of you can just look at your kids in the room tonight. We just need to walk a mile in the shoes of someone who loves Kyron and Baby K.

    Then approach Kaine's actions from THAT standpoint. I'm interested to hear what some of you think needed to change.

    Now, imagining myself as Kyron's grandparent, I would first...be beside myself in agony and fear! What has happened? Then, a short time into the investigation... my son calls...LE has told him that my daughter-in-law tried to have him killed! The same daughter-in-law that was among the last to see Kyron! The daughter-in-law who is telling us she failed the polys! The daughter-in-law who cannot account completely for her time!

    This daughter-in-law has access, care of, and parental control over my only other grandchild.

    Let me walk a mile in those shoes.

    So, if I'm honest what do I tell Kaine to do? This is not the guy at the McDonald's counter telling him this..it is LE. My only other grandchild...Kaine's only other child is missing! Now I hear my daughter-in-law wanted my son dead!!!

    Should I say...STAY THERE, BELIEVE YOUR WIFE..let her take care of our precious Baby K...leave home every day and leave Baby K with her for hours. Sleep in her bed. Do NOT protect yourself. Be a devoted husband!

    Sorry,no...I would NOT. Protecting Terri, under these circumstances, is my lowest priority. Those kids are what matters! And my son's life. I would beg him to leave and do whatever he had to do to get Baby K and himself to a safe place. How would I live with myself if I encouraged Kaine and Baby K to stay "to protect Terri's reputation" and, God forbid something else happened?

    I applaud that Kaine did whatever necessary to protect Baby K in light of that information from LE.

    But maybe others feel Terri should have been everyone's first concern. If you or someone YOU love, in these horrific conditions,with your son missing... were told by the police that your spouse tried to have you killed...what would YOU do?

    What would you have had Kaine do? I'm interested to hear alternatives.
     


  2. Jo in Calif

    Jo in Calif Well-Known Member

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    Well, from me the only response you are going to get is, Bravo!
     
  3. gwenabob

    gwenabob A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

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    Bravo here as well! :Jumpie:
     
  4. Adrienne37

    Adrienne37 Former Member

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    I'd like to take the liberty of adding a third BRAVO to your post as well. Great post and people really shouldn't condemn anyone or their actions unless they've walked a mile in their shoes. JMO.
     
  5. Schmerty_Jones

    Schmerty_Jones ________________ Even if you're on the right

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    Bravissimo!!!!!
     
  6. debs

    debs Former Member

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    In the interest of fair play and academic discussion, walk a mile in Terri's shoes. If she's innocent. Walk a mile in her shoes.
     
  7. stmarysmead

    stmarysmead Well-Known Member

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    I have no problem with that. I think we could make that another thread. It would be interesting to suggest what an innocent Terri might have done or could still do

    But, the point of this thread is...if you have a problem with Kaine's actions after the Murder-for-Hire plot was relayed to him by LE..then. please say what he might have done differently...but first walk-in-his-shoes.
     
  8. Amster

    Amster Well-Known Member

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    Maybe on a different thread?
     
  9. debs

    debs Former Member

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    I appreciate your kind response. I find the two, Kaine and Terri, to be inextricably connected and to discuss one's "shoes" is to metaphorically shod the foot of the other to do so. It is nigh on impossible for me to walk in their shoes, let alone wonder who is taking the shoes from the other.
     
  10. Beyond Belief

    Beyond Belief New Member

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    No one should ever have to walk in the shoes of these folks and others who find themselves in similiar situations.
    I always think of jerry lewis singing 'you'll never walk alone' on his telethon. i love that inspirational song.
    My dad's expression was "I was sad because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet".
    Whatever Kyron's daddy does is okay with me.
     
  11. cluciano63

    cluciano63 Well-Known Member

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    I've often thought about Kaine and what he is going through. I have great sympathy for him and his suffering.

    I have a feeling that he wishes he was more aware and responsive to certain situations in his home, before June 4th; I know I would be thinking that way. I think the marriage and family life was extremely unstable. I'll bet he relives it all in his mind and wonders what he should have seen that he did not. I know I would be doing that.

    As far as Kaine's reaction to whatever LE told him about the murder plot, I have no idea how I would react, except I know I would speak with my husband before taking off. I would listen to what he had to say, before I would file for divorce based on what a landscaper had told the police he had done. His reaction seems extreme to me, only in that he never gave Terri a chance and up to that point, he had not indicated anything other than a contented marriage.
     
  12. stmarysmead

    stmarysmead Well-Known Member

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    But, respectfully, to comprehend Kaine's actions as the proposed "victim" in a murder for hire plot...while dealing with all the emotions as a father of a missing child...does not require us to deem Terri innocent or guilty.

    We are just considering HIM now.

    Teri may be either innocent or guilty...and he might still have been justified in taking the steps he took after receiving that information from LE.

    But if we are going to criticize him. that means we have the ability to come up with alternatives...a better way. That's only fair, isn't it?

    I'm interested in hearing what those "better ways" might be.
     
  13. stmarysmead

    stmarysmead Well-Known Member

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    I certainly agree with your first paragraph.

    But in regard to the second part, I think I would not criticize Kaine on this point until I knew exactly what LE told them and what supporting evidence, if any, they showed him.

    If I saw emails or texts coming from my spouse's email or cellphone and information therein was so specific to our family life, there might be little else to say...and frankly, I might be so totally freaked out...I would just need to leave immediately.

    In other words,something like..."Next Friday, Kaine has an appt. at the Eye Doctor's on 12th St. at 3PM...he usually drives on 75th St to get there. We once had a flat tire in that area and it's pretty deserted. Maybe you could sideswipe the car and kill him when he gets out."

    I wouldn't feel there would be any thing Terri could tell me if they showed me anything like that. Or texts of my spouse in sexual poses...with accompanying verbage alluding to my death.

    Wouldn't be much to talk about then. Nor, walking in Kaine's shoes, absorbing such fear and betrayal...would I expect him to do so...at such a horrific time in his life.
     
  14. Skully

    Skully Well-Known Member

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    Okay I will play. If I found out my other half tried to kill me or had a MFH in place and this was told to me by LE and this person had access to my baby girl, he did better than me. He was right to get the baby out of the house, and to stop TH from contact of any kind. Now add that your son is missing and she is the last one to see him and she failed polys and everything else we could list here, including the sexting, I give him credit for for great restraints. I would have gotten answers by now, but I would probably would be in jail. So Kain I applaud you for taking the high road. Oh ya, JMO
     
  15. jadejazzkayla

    jadejazzkayla Well-Known Member

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    yeah. if le actually did tell him about a mfh plot i would think he would ask his wife about it.
     
  16. rnmif

    rnmif Inactive

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    My problem is, when I look at things like the innocence Project, or people accused in other high-profile cases who were ultimately innocent, I get very uncomfortable. The statistics are appalling.

    It's why I think innocent until proven guilty is such an important concept, not just because of the cost to the wrongly accused, but the cost to society, and the victim. If we were omniscient, that would be one thing, but we are mere mortals, and whether by logic or by statistical evidence, it seems conclusion bias is a significant problem in our legal justice system.

    So through that lens, I'd ask what folks would have had TMH do.

    To take that a step further, if TMH isn't guilty, who is? If everything we think we know about this case is a house of cards, what DO we know?

    And how does that color the lens we view KH's actions through?
     
  17. stmarysmead

    stmarysmead Well-Known Member

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    Can you imagine any circumstances where Kaine might feel there was nothing Terri could say that would change anything?

    The obligation to hear HER side of the story and give it equal weight to LE...once again...depends on what exactly LE had in evidence to show him.

    Maybe there are things only Terri would know in emails to the Landscaper...or texts of Terri "similar" to the sexting she did with his friend...combined with hopes he would die.

    At that point, whatever could the spouse say that you could stay in the house or keep you Baby in her care?

    And if he believed in Terri and supported her...as it appeared he did in those first days...WHAT A SHOCK to this grieving Father!
     
  18. Jo in Calif

    Jo in Calif Well-Known Member

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    Well IMO that would have gone over like a turd in a punch bowl. What in the heck could she of said? "Honey, I was only joking with this guy who was doing yard work for us and said I would give XXX amount of money to off you and give him a little nookie to go along with it." IMO LE had more info from the LS, even if nothing came about, than his just telling LE Terry wanted Kaine murdered, I doubt if it sounded like a joke to LE.
     
  19. rnmif

    rnmif Inactive

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    Me too. I find this so hard to understand.

    It's not like they had only been together for a couple of years. How can you marry someone and know that little about them?

    I am confused when KH says that he didn't know, that he was shocked, that he thought everything was fine, and then he left what was apparently minutes after LE informed him?

    That kind of leap is hard for me to make heads or tails of. If I truly believed everything he seemed to believe about his marriage on June 3rd, then I would have to hear the interviews with the LS myself, and then I'd have to talk to my spouse about it. There's no way I would just assume that the person I loved and trusted had suddenly become a monster.

    Kaine is a bright guy. How did he miss the Leviathan in his living room?
     
  20. gliving

    gliving Woof

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    stmarysmead, it's so interesting to read how you, as a grandmother, would react to this tragedy. I've often thought about Kaine's mother and what a terrible time she must be having. First Kristian is convicted of child molestation, then Kaine's son Kyron goes missing.

    I feel a great empathy for her and the pain she must be enduring.
     

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