What is "Closure?"

Discussion in 'Caylee Anthony 2 years old' started by Pattymarie, Jan 26, 2009.

  1. Pattymarie

    Pattymarie New Member

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    Will the A's really get closure from their situation by having a burial for Caylee? Isn't is so much more than this?

    I have never experienced a death of a child or a death close to me by violence. Is "closure" in these cases possible? Is there such a thing?

    Listening to NG tonite, a victim herself of murdered loved one, she says a funeral does not bring closure, but it does factor into the grieving process.
     
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  3. JBean

    JBean Retired WS Administrator

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    no such animal IMO
     
  4. impatientredhead

    impatientredhead New Member

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    The funeral did not provide closure for my husband when we buried his mother. Not even close. Everyone is different though, for some the funeral helps bring it, for some it is the trial (if your perp gets charged), and for some I don't think it ever comes.
     
  5. radio

    radio Former Member

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    closure is a myth
     
  6. Noddy

    Noddy New Member

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    Closure for me is after all my questions and doubts about a personal heartbreaking event have been answered. About 3 years after that life begins again. I'm slow! ;-}
     
  7. Gaia713

    Gaia713 New Member

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    I do not believe there is such a thing as "closure." I think after the final goodbyes at the funeral, you start to live a life again small step by small step. The pain never goes away, but it does not dominate your life anymore.
     
  8. JBean

    JBean Retired WS Administrator

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    I think a good way to describe it, is that the pain is still there but the volume is turned down after time.
     
  9. bessie

    bessie Administrator Staff Member Administrator Moderator

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    I agree with NG on this one. A funeral is the jumping off point for the sorrow and grief that follow a death once the initial shock has worn off.

    Closure? I have no idea what that means.
     
  10. doglover

    doglover New Member

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    Thankfully, I've never lost a family member to violence. I have, however, lost a sister, father and mother to 'natural causes'. I think there's a huge diff in the two. With natural causes, at least one can make some attempt at closure and move on after a funeral. With a murder though, I can't imagine any kind of closure. The pain must be immense and devastating. I'm still not over my family members' death, the earliest one was in 1973 and the most recent was in 2006 - my mom. A close family member's death haunts you and time is truly the only thing that helps with the pain - not that it ever goes away.

    A bit O/T - but I had to search through my old emails today for something my sister needed, and I found some old emails I had sent when my mom died. Wow - I never realized what "a bad place" I was in at the time. It was horrible. Just reading those old emails hurt my heart and made me realize that time does mend the worst of it, but doesn't necessarily heal the hole that a loved one's death leaves.

    Losing a loved one changes us. We lose a little bit of ourselves. I cannot fathom losing a child or grandchild. I'm not sure I could recover from an event like that. My heart goes out to all who have had to endure such a thing.
     
  11. Pattymarie

    Pattymarie New Member

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    I simply don't agree that "closure" for George will happen with Caylee's funeral. There are so many questions left and so many lies to be dealth with.
     
  12. Manny

    Manny New Member

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    The favorite buzz word. You will have closure and therefore not talk about depressing things anymore.

    An idea thought up by thoughtless people.
     
  13. Carolina Girl

    Carolina Girl New Member

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    I think they will be able to begin the healing process of Caylee's death, once they have the funeral/memorial. Think of the way it haunts us all, that never knew the child personally, to know that she has not had that last rite. I have lost two younger brothers at the age of 22 (one to cancer, the other in a car accident), and my Mother. There is no "closure", IMO to losing a loved one. If you close that chapter, you would forget them. But I think it is a necessary process with grief.
     
  14. txsvicki

    txsvicki New Member

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    Caylee didn't die a natural death nor will she have a natural burial. I wouldn't think there'd be any closure for the family until Casey admits what she's done, or until it's proven to them beyond a doubt. It still wouldn't be closure though, just a big hole in their lives that they have to try and live with for each other.
     
  15. audiogirl

    audiogirl Former Member

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    I have lost my Grandparents, Mother, a host of Aunts and Uncles and my ex husband lost a first cousin, his wife and their beautiful little girl in a brutal home invasion. They were systematically stabbed to death, one by one. Their little girl was only 6 yrs old and the POS stabbed her at the foot of her bed where she was on her knees praying for her parents' lives. We did everything together and the loss of that beautiful family haunts me to this day.

    Natural or intentional, there has been NO closure for me in any of these deaths. It still hurts every time I think about any of my loved ones who have gone ahead of me.

    The loss of a child or grandchild would send me completely over the edge.

    I pray there is a measure of comfort for the A family when little Caylee is laid to rest. Sadly, I feel there will NEVER be closure.
     
  16. suspicious1

    suspicious1 New Member

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    There will never be closure for the A's. Even if they do have the funeral, I don't that alone is going to bring closure. They still have to live with the fact the Caylee's gone AND that there daughter is being charged in her murder. They will always have questions as to why this has happened. NO CLOSURE. It's sooo sad.

    May God be with them.
     
  17. mikeysmommom

    mikeysmommom "A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you

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    I lost my cousin Danny in 1977 to murder and I still do not have closure. I do not believe there is such a thing.
     
  18. doglover

    doglover New Member

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    OMG, I'm so sorry to hear about this. Thank you for sharing. I can't imagine that there would be closure with a horrific crime of this nature. I dont' know what to say. So sorry ...
     
  19. Janis396

    Janis396 It's getting dark, too dark to see....

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    The only "closure" (if that's even the right word) I can see in this case for the people who loved Caylee is that she's not "lost" somewhere out there in the world anymore. She's been found and the question of where she is has been answered, as awful as what that answer is. I think if she had never been found, the not ever knowing would be horrific to deal with every minute of every day. JMHO.
     
  20. audiogirl

    audiogirl Former Member

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    JBean my volume control is broken. I can't seem to turn it down. Know a good electronics technician? :)
     
  21. CarolineJ

    CarolineJ New Member

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    I think that "acceptance" is a more appropriate word. Closure makes it sound as if you have just closed that book and will be going on to the next one. That doesn't happen. After you have accepted that this death did, in fact, happen you begin bit by bit to heal from the shock of it all, but you never ever just close the book. I think a funeral does help to end the shock. The way it helps is that a lot of people are there and they hug you and tell you they're sorry and you see that they are sad too. You don't feel so alone in your grief then.
     

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