What would you do??

Snick1946

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This is after the fact but am just curious- if by chance you ran across pictures of 12-13 year old girls your son knows from school on a MySpace page posing with their pants off- what would you do?
Well, I downloaded the page then mailed a copy to the mother of one of the girls. This woman is hell on wheels and I think her little darling is going to be spending a lot of her time grounded at home.
I didn't sign my name to the note- we do not know these people real well and it is just embarassing. Comments?
 

fran

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I think you did these parents and girl a BIG favor!

Good for you!

What would I do?

Maybe the same thing. I guess I wouldn't know until confronted with it.

What would I want someone else to do if it were my daughter?

What you did!

JMHO
fran
(a mother of four daughters!)
 

bracken123

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I agree with Fran, I think you did a good thing.
Mom is aware, bottom line that is what is important.
I have not seen anything THAT bad on my sons friends myspace - but I have read these random questionnares that they fill out - with things that they have done sexually and I am shocked!
 

Snick1946

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Thanks for your comments and encouragement.
The girl's parents would have received this by Monday afternoon. This evening I checked and she still has the MySpace site with a different picture of herself in her undies.
Well I did what I could. Some parents deserve what they get, if only thier kids didn't have to bear the brunt of their bad parenting.
 

froggierintexas

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I would do the same thing, but having had a similar experience that the parents did not respond to, would not get my hopes up for helping that child.

I play on POGO and sometimes hit play now on the games and it can land you in a teen room. After observing a chat where someone claiming to be a young girl gave her supposed name and school and home phone number where the whole world could see, I did a reverse number search and the last names matched. So I waited until the evening and called and asked to speak to the parents of said person. I explained why I was calling and my concern and that if I could find out whose name the phone was listed under and the address it was listed to in a matter of seconds, so could anyone else. I let them know I was concerned and perhaps they should have a safety talk with her. At which point I was called names that I hadn't heard since I was a bondsman. I only hope they thought about it later on and had a talk with her.

You might try calling the police in your town and letting them know there are child *advertiser censored* photos online and giving them the home phone of the girl if the pictures stay up. I was under the impression it was illegal to post naked pics of kids.
 

Truthful Lies

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I applaud you...very much so!!!! Great idea to print and mail. You did what you could, Snick..and in good faith!

In my line of work, I am constantly 1. disgusted by what I see/hear about children's lives and treatment, and am also (more luckily) impressed that the "public at large" still cares. I know it is a friend of your son's...but I wish more people cared (like you and a caller I had yesterday at work).

You never know, Snick...you may have saved her from some awful and innappropriate situation....you'll never know...just know that you did well and be at peace with that =)

(P.S. - I know I'm not your mom, but I'm proud of you and honored that you are part of the WS family! Much love!)
 

J. Brannagh

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I think you did these parents and girl a BIG favor!

Good for you!

What would I do?

Maybe the same thing. I guess I wouldn't know until confronted with it.

What would I want someone else to do if it were my daughter?

What you did!

JMHO
fran
(a mother of four daughters!)


I whole heartedly Second THAT!

More people should stand up as you did... too many people don't know what to do so do nothing now days.

Bravo!
 

Snick1946

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I think my acton finally took effect. I went to the Myspace page
about a week later, her page was still there but with a very nice portrait
black and white picture, looks darling and posed, I'd bet her mom or
dad took it. I got a chuckle out of her expression, looked happy,
relieved and sad all the same time. She's a very lovely girl- looks
a lot like Mary Kate Olsen- so maybe we've seen the last of the
hottie pix for her. I still think if she were mine she wouldn't be
on Myspace but if I guess right her parents will be following this
closely. Thanks for all your comments.
 

Salem

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Good Job Snick!!!!!! Glad to hear that it appears her parents at least took notice. I'm with you, if it was my kid - they would be denied all internet access until they were 18! You did GOOD!

Salem
 

Snick1946

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If anyone is interested, The girl involved had several weeks of nice pictures and innocent comments, now the hottie stuff is back again, pics in her sleepwear, etc.
Her parents are both have cyber jobs and for the life of me I don't get why they continue to let her on MySpace and have stopped checking her site. She's not my child and it is not my business at this point.
All the kids at their school have access to Gaggle email but I guess when you turn 13 you think that's for babies. I just hope she and her parents don't get an unwelcome result from all this, sad.
 

tapu

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Snick, if you ever see my kid up to anything like that, I hope you'll send the evidence to me, too.

You did exactly the right thing.
 

MissieMt

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Snick if you feel these pics are inappropriate or suggestive you can have them flagged on myspace. Just click on the picture and it will have an icon that says "flag as inappropriate". Granted it won't make her parents be better parents, but the pictures will be removed. In the past I have seen similar pics on myspace, just from "browsing" (yeah, i get THAT bored,lol) and flagged them. Myspace seems to take that stuff seriously, and just because some parents can't or won't protect their kids when it comes to this stuff doesn't mean we can't make a small attempt.
 

Shecky

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Snick if you feel these pics are inappropriate or suggestive you can have them flagged on myspace. Just click on the picture and it will have an icon that says "flag as inappropriate". Granted it won't make her parents be better parents, but the pictures will be removed. In the past I have seen similar pics on myspace, just from "browsing" (yeah, i get THAT bored,lol) and flagged them. Myspace seems to take that stuff seriously, and just because some parents can't or won't protect their kids when it comes to this stuff doesn't mean we can't make a small attempt.

This is a good suggestion. MySpace doesn't want pseudo kiddie *advertiser censored* on their site.

I also agree that you did the right thing.
 

smoknn

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This is after the fact but am just curious- if by chance you ran across pictures of 12-13 year old girls your son knows from school on a MySpace page posing with their pants off- what would you do?
Well, I downloaded the page then mailed a copy to the mother of one of the girls. This woman is hell on wheels and I think her little darling is going to be spending a lot of her time grounded at home.
I didn't sign my name to the note- we do not know these people real well and it is just embarassing. Comments?

time and time again i see this...i been on the net now for about (guess) 12 years...i have seen things on here that left a brand on my brain and im a grown man. i have said many times..i rather know a child is in a bar..than on the internet alone this is no place for a child...it should be just like fireworks..if a child is playing on it a adult should be watching them..at least in a bar maybe a grownup with a heart may be there to kinda keep things in line..i think most things like this start with the parents..when i was 12 13 years old my parents knew my every move..most of the time before i did
 

Todd Picuyane

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THAT WAS NOT THE WISE THING TO DO.

If you send pictures without permission, YOU CAN BE CHARGED FOR CHILD *advertiser censored* DISTRIBUTION.

I don't wish to break semantics here, but the law is very specific. I realize you are trying to be very careful here, but the laws are (justifiably, in my opinion) at a point where you MUST make sure you don't cavalierly send pictures or keep such images on your computer. Accessing the page may be enough to put the images into your cache, which in many jurisdictions is just as criminal as actually having them in an intentionally downloaded file.

You may have done the family of the 12 year old a favor, but in the future, please consider the consequences from the decisions you make with regard to potentially explosive material.

WHAT I WOULD DO:

1. I would record the exact link to the photos. If the link is "dynamic" and requires a specific login sequence, make note of that. Keep that for reference.
2. Call the parent of the child. Do NOT send the photos in general.
3. First choice: Make sure that you ARE talking to the parent. Give him/her the link to the account. If the parent does not have the credentials to access the site, then the parent is committing a MAJOR mistake in parenting his/her children.
4. If the parent DOES have access and goes to the site, then have her daughter IMMEDIATELY DELETE her photo.
5. PROBLEM: You do NOT KNOW WHO ELSE has seen this photo. To that end, get a list of EVERY FRIEND your daughter has on Facebook. Every one of them may have seen the photo, and every one of them has the capability of copying the image for their own use.
6. Pragmatics: The situaion ***may*** blow over once steps 1-4 are taken above. But if it doesn't, this can be very difficult to reverse. But it MUST be tried.

Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will you go to the police without your lawyer's advice. While in most cases the police will handle such actions with reasonable understanding, SOME jurisdictions may have NO CHOICE but to follow through with a complete, probing investigation.

I'm sorry, I can't give more advice. BOTTOM LINE: Anytime you go on cam or show an image, automatically assume that picture WILL be retained FOREVER and disseminated ANYWHERE at ANY TIME for ANY PURPOSE. This is something I can NOT STRESS ENOUGH.
 

LisaB

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I would do the same thing, but having had a similar experience that the parents did not respond to, would not get my hopes up for helping that child.

I play on POGO and sometimes hit play now on the games and it can land you in a teen room. After observing a chat where someone claiming to be a young girl gave her supposed name and school and home phone number where the whole world could see, I did a reverse number search and the last names matched. So I waited until the evening and called and asked to speak to the parents of said person. I explained why I was calling and my concern and that if I could find out whose name the phone was listed under and the address it was listed to in a matter of seconds, so could anyone else. I let them know I was concerned and perhaps they should have a safety talk with her. At which point I was called names that I hadn't heard since I was a bondsman. I only hope they thought about it later on and had a talk with her.

You might try calling the police in your town and letting them know there are child *advertiser censored* photos online and giving them the home phone of the girl if the pictures stay up. I was under the impression it was illegal to post naked pics of kids.

When I fist read the OP, I did not grasp that the girls WERE wearing "undies". Not that it is a GOOD thing to do, but my first reaction was that she(?) having sent this anonymously, might actually have been inadvertently guilty of transmitting child *advertiser censored*. I guess it's just something to consider if you find pictures that are worse.
 

tsendrome

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Yeah, I would definitely be letting the parents know what their little girl was up to. And I would alert someone who could maybe probe into that family because maybe she is just reflecting some deeper trauma that the average eye is not able to see. Maybe a school counselor or someone of of a clinical background who may have access to the child who could better assess the situation.
 

Rainstorm

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I agree getting the info to someone who is a school counselor or a le. I certainly would want to know if any of my kids were doing this. As a parent it is our job to know what your kids are doing. You can monitor your kids activities online. You can set parental controlling from you own pc. I know exactly what my son does on his laptop.
 

amlaf

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First, I think all parents need to consistently monitor their children's social networking pages. While many parents themselves have their own pages, which gives them a much better idea of the type of stuff that goes on, other parents don't and are ignorant to the dangers and actions of people of all ages. That said, I think you did the right thing however I would not have sent any actual photos or screenshots. I would have expressed my concern and urged them to view it themselves and take action. Kids at this age are always exploring their sexuality and it shouldn't be surprising that they try to mimic some of the actions of adults they see online. I think most of us who own Myspace, FB pages etc. have at one point or another seen adults posing in the exact same manner on their own pages. I find myself monitoring my 12 year old sons friend's list and once in a while I will see something I don't particularly care for on some of his friends pages, usually vulgar language (it amazes me sometimes how foul mouthed kids can be online) or videos of school fights, etc. but I usually confront him about the person and express my opinions that it would be unacceptable if he was to act in this manner. Luckily, he is a very good kid so I give him more leeway as he has earned my trust but he knows I am always keeping track of just about everything he does in life. I think kids need to have a certain amount of freedom to grow but in the case you describe, that child obviously was very lost in her ideas. I also think all children under the age of 18 and even most adults should keep their pages as private as possible as so only those on their friends list can view its content. In one way, it hinders myself from monitoring who my child's acquaintances are but in another, it helps keep the dangerous criminals out there from preying on our youth. In all, parents need to always practice good morals themselves and be aware of these types of things so they do not happen.
 

Bark

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I would try to contact the parents in person or over the phone to inform them of their children's actions. I wouldn't download or send anything anything online, because the blame could be shifted to you. Just imagine if someone sent you pictures of your children, nude, to your own inbox? Perhaps they would think that you are abusing their daughters or asking for money (blackmail) or some other nefarious reason. I'm glad you downloaded the webpage rather than the images, because that in a way gives them context of where the pictures are from.
 
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