Why did Kaine and Terri avoid the media.?

[froginTtown]

This family avoiding the media for as long as they did, did not do any good whatsoever, and possibly did harm, as attention was focused on the family right away by the public, anxious to know what "they were hiding", so to speak, and that meant attention away from Kyron. And all of the various info/gossip/innuendo that has come out since has tended to keep the focus on the family, rather than on Kyron. I think memories have even been affected, due to the fact that people were thinking too much about what is up with this family and not enough about what took place on that day. In the end, the family's effort in trying to stay private was fruitless, as it always is-the media will get the "dirt" one way or another.

Also, Desiree stating three weeks in that she thought he would be back by now-this made the whole thing seem like an over-the-top revenge or punishment by Terri, some sort of divorced co-parents thing. People who were following this story only casually may have been less inclined to take it all that seriously. Both Kaine and Terri making noise about not talking to and/or listening to media did not help matters.

In my opinion, all they needed to do initially was to come out once that first weekend, show their faces and ask for Kyron's safe return, and the public would have been satisfied. I know it is not their job to satisfy the public, but anything that takes away from the crime/missing child, is a distraction and the family provided a distraction by refusing to speak out for so long.

ITA...I just hope LE didn't tell them not to talk... Having Terri on TV could have sent alot of tips in motion.. (if she is quilty... ) time is very critical when a child is missing... moo

 

[Etilema]

I think Kaine had decided (with or without the help of LE/Tony) to avoid the media completely. I think he made it clear to those around him that that's what he wanted/expected. We have the email to Intel and other quotes saying he wanted people to avoid the press, and we have his own actions to back that up. (trying to control certain papers and what they printed, etc.)

Honestly, I think he expected/hoped for this to be cleared up very quickly.
...

Snipped.

Something clicked in my mind when I read what you wrote above. Since KH and DY seem to have suspected all along that TH was involved, and that she somehow just had Kyron hidden somewhere, it would make sense that they wouldn't want to expose the situation to the public. Better it should be kept as quiet as possible, like any family embarrassment. Remember how DY said they had wanted to be careful about what they put out in the media because they were thinking of what Kyron would have to live with upon his return. I think they were hoping that within a few days or a week TH would reveal his location and they could just deal with the fallout later.

JMO

 

[sherbetjello]

I have been bothered by this video, especially where is shows BOTH Terri and Kaine leaving the gym after Kyrons disappearance.. Why did they avoid the media...?? This video was taken before the first press conference.....
http://www.katu.com/news/local/96033344.html?tab=video

I don't know what I can say here anymore, I constantly feel like I have to hold back so I don't get a t/o, but I am going to answer this question with my OPINION.

For as long as I have been alive, and for all the friendships(/relationships) that I have had, and for as much Psychology that I have studied; Seems the reason why they ducked and dodged together is because there wasn't a clear plan to address the media, yet. It's possible they were conscious about their movements and verbiage at very early in the game, without the use of attorneys. And maybe, just maybe, saying anything could jeopardize their "save face." I don't know the reasons why the would do that however, it's just my assumption at this point.
It wasn't till a few days after this, and the first press conference, that Terri became the "focus.' That left Kaine (and LE) wide open to point the finger and become the beacon for Kyron.
I honestly think that had this panned out differently from the get-go we might know a lot more than we do. Kyron might even be home.

My mother used to say "You get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar."

I live by that quote.

 

[Aedrys]

Snipped.

Something clicked in my mind when I read what you wrote above. Since KH and DY seem to have suspected all along that TH was involved, and that she somehow just had Kyron hidden somewhere, it would make sense that they wouldn't want to expose the situation to the public. Better it should be kept as quiet as possible, like any family embarrassment. Remember how DY said they had wanted to be careful about what they put out in the media because they were thinking of what Kyron would have to live with upon his return. I think they were hoping that within a few days or a week TH would reveal his location and they could just deal with the fallout later.

JMO

ITA completely. I really think that's it. They thought this just a private family matter. I don't think it occurred to them that it wasn't. Either he had accidently wandered off, or TH had him somewhere. In either case, it was something they thought would be solved quickly, so they probably didn't think they needed the media. And I doubt Kaine wanted to air his family's dirty laundry, if that's what he thought it was at the time, unless he absolutely had to.

I also think going to the gym was Terri's idea. She's the one who can't seem to live without working out. I doubt working out was on Kaine's mind with his son missing. I think he went to protect Terri. He didn't want to stop her from going, but he didn't want her unprotected and vulnerable to the press either. So he went with her, and when the media approached, they weren't ready to talk, and so they didn't. This doesn't mean he didn't work out as well, just that I doubt after Kyron went missing that the first thing he thought about was a workout.

 

[ami]

This family avoiding the media for as long as they did, did not do any good whatsoever, and possibly did harm, as attention was focused on the family right away by the public, anxious to know what "they were hiding", so to speak, and that meant attention away from Kyron. And all of the various info/gossip/innuendo that has come out since has tended to keep the focus on the family, rather than on Kyron. I think memories have even been affected, due to the fact that people were thinking too much about what is up with this family and not enough about what took place on that day. In the end, the family's effort in trying to stay private was fruitless, as it always is-the media will get the "dirt" one way or another.

Also, Desiree stating three weeks in that she thought he would be back by now-this made the whole thing seem like an over-the-top revenge or punishment by Terri, some sort of divorced co-parents thing. People who were following this story only casually may have been less inclined to take it all that seriously. Both Kaine and Terri making noise about not talking to and/or listening to media did not help matters.

In my opinion, all they needed to do initially was to come out once that first weekend, show their faces and ask for Kyron's safe return, and the public would have been satisfied. I know it is not their job to satisfy the public, but anything that takes away from the crime/missing child, is a distraction and the family provided a distraction by refusing to speak out for so long.

Perhaps this is true (and I'm not even certain that it is - I can see many ways an early press conference could also have been used against them and diverted attention away from Kyron as much/more than their silence) -- but you're opining this in retrospect and with the benefit of not being terrified, in shock, and sitting with LE wonder wtf happened to your beloved child.

I'm going to take a guess that if Kaine had known where each behavioral option ultimately led (near impossible with the anything-goes press and fickle public opinion), he would have chosen the one most likely to help Kyron. Since no one can know which way public attention will lead or be even partially clear-minded enough to make an educated guess when your child's life is on the line, I'm going to forgive them for anything they did that was later thought by the public to be a misjudgment. And that even goes for Terri if she is innocent and genuinely grieving.

 

[Aedrys]

Perhaps this is true (and I'm not even certain that it is - I can see many ways an early press conference could also have been used against them and diverted attention away from Kyron as much/more than their silence) -- but you're opining this in retrospect and with the benefit of not being terrified, in shock, and sitting with LE wonder wtf happened to your beloved child.

I'm going to take a guess that if Kaine had known where each behavioral option ultimately led (near impossible with the anything-goes press and fickle public opinion), he would have chosen the one most likely to help Kyron. Since no one can know which way public attention will lead or be even partially clear-minded enough to make an educated guess when your child's life is on the line, I'm going to forgive them for anything they did that was later thought by the public to be a misjudgment. And that even goes for Terri if she is innocent and genuinely grieving.

ITA until that last line. I don't call sexting and seducing someone to lie to her own lawyer as misjudgment. She knew exactly what she was doing. That is something I cannot forgive. When a child is missing, sex should NOT be the first thing on anybody's mind. That is just plain WRONG.

I can forgive the rest of them, but not Terri. She has demonstrated that she doesn't give a rat's *advertiser censored** about Kyron and is only concerned with protecting herself and her reputation. That is not misjudgment, that is severly BAD judgment, IMO.

 

[lynmaree]

Yup...That was me too...

I was in a "mega" store when both of my children came up missing... They were 4 and 5 at the time, now 23 and 24.. I turned around and they were GONE...we looked for about 5 min.. I was frantic...pale and weak in the knees... very dizzy too... My sister was with me and we were both scared to death..Thank God she had her wits about her and told security right away... I was searching and telling EVERYONE through out the store... Again, within 5 minutes security was out in the parking lot and secured the doors... It took all of us over 30 minutes to find my kids....

We found them in the middle of a circular clothing rack. Trying to be as quiet as they could... right where I lost them...

Point is... I was desperate... and I got the word out quick... If my child went missing... I would do it all over again... I would put the word out... I would carry a pic with me. I would contact the media myself.. If the media began to do me wrong, then I would stop talking to them... but that's just me...

p.s. I remind them here and there about it...lol

I tend to agree to this reaction...I "lost" my two year old for a total of 26 minutes while at my inlaws at the time of a death in the family...6 people were in the house while I was getting dinner for all the kids and he somehow managed to slip past EVERYONE I had asked to keep an eye on him while I cooked...I was frantic but still kept enuf wits about me to check the entire house, even dryers and freezers, (or so I thought) and to call the authorities as well as my husband and in laws...everyone sprung right into action and the entire neighborhood as well as law enforcement were engaged within 5-10 minutes...my biggest fear being that if he had somehow managed to sneak out a screen door and someone grabbed him he could be well on his way in that amount of time...my point is that...even after he was found and looking back on the relatively short period of tiime he was missing, I was physically sick (vomitting) with the could have beens and could not have possibly stayed composed and quiet..I was screaming his name like a Banshee so as many people as possible could hear...

as an aside...he had managed to sneak right by his brother and uncle and climb the stairs and crawl under his young aunts bed where he fell asleep we're guessing....I checked that room four times and so did others...he had pulled a stuff animal in with him under the bed and obscured our vision of him...had my mother in law not noticed a lamp slightly out of place on an end table we may well have continued the search...

scariest moment of my entire life and I still react physically when thinking about it....Terri is way too composed for a "mom" whose baby (biological or not) is missing....IMO

 

[PDXMom]

LE supposedly told the family to try their best to go about their normal routine. Grocery shopping, working out etc. Now I firmly believe the reason they said that was to get TH out of the house so they could follow her around.

And plant the bugs. And check the truck.

 

[debs]

IMO, Kaine and Terri avoided the media because Kaine wanted to control what was put out there. IMO.

 

[lynmaree]

And plant the bugs. And check the truck.

and...we cant forget the theory in the beginning that was passed around that this may be a kidnap for ransom....if LE really "moved in" for 10-12 days than they may well have wanted KH and TH out in public in the hopes that they would be contacted or approached in some way by the kidnappers to demand ransom....for all appeareances they would seem alone and unprotected or wired since gym visits usually involve wardrobe changes....when it didnt materialize and the focus began to shift, LE certainly werent going to tip their hand by telling us or TH that they were shifting focus to her...

we could even take it a step further and say that LE instructed KH to take TH out as they may have known about the MFH plot and had planned some other kind of sting or staged event....maybe there IS something to the whole TH ransom plan, KH killed in the exchange etc....LE could have been one step behind them by design....IMO

 

[Billylee]

If that gym was the gym that TH claimed she went to on the 4th, then my guess is that trip wasn't for a workout. I think KH was trying to find out if TH was really at the gym that day. JMO

 

[Aedrys]

If that gym was the gym that TH claimed she went to on the 4th, then my guess is that trip wasn't for a workout. I think KH was trying to find out if TH was really at the gym that day. JMO

Then why would he leaving with baby K later be such a surprise? There was nothing to indicate that Terri thought KH was investigating her. I do think while she worked out, he might have tried to find out if she was there that day. I just doubt he did it to her face.

 

[Billylee]

Then why would he leaving with baby K later be such a surprise? There was nothing to indicate that Terri thought KH was investigating her. I do think while she worked out, he might have tried to find out if she was there that day. I just doubt he did it to her face.

That's precisely what I'm saying, is that KH was trying to satisfy some doubt he may have held himself, without letting TH know. And so, it went something like this: KH said to TH, I'm going to go for a workout, and she said something like, Oh, I'll come with you. And his purpose was to verify TH's alibi.

 

[debs]

Then why would he leaving with baby K later be such a surprise? There was nothing to indicate that Terri thought KH was investigating her. I do think while she worked out, he might have tried to find out if she was there that day. I just doubt he did it to her face.

I believe we've seen a portion of an email Terri sent that first week after Kyron disappeared which stated that they're all blaming her. This visit to the gym, whatever the reason they went, was for them, for whatever reason. But the avoiding the media...that's on Kaine. He did not want anyone talking to the media. We have that in an email, as well.

It stands to reason that if Kaine is controlling the media at Intel, he was also controlling it in his own home.

 

[pdx]

and...we cant forget the theory in the beginning that was passed around that this may be a kidnap for ransom....if LE really "moved in" for 10-12 days than they may well have wanted KH and TH out in public in the hopes that they would be contacted or approached in some way by the kidnappers to demand ransom....for all appeareances they would seem alone and unprotected or wired since gym visits usually involve wardrobe changes....when it didnt materialize and the focus began to shift, LE certainly werent going to tip their hand by telling us or TH that they were shifting focus to her...

+1 to this (BBM).
As you look back on the early days, doesn't it seem that that's the pattern LE was following (despite the gigantic ground search)?

Maybe the subsequent focus on Terri is because that's where the leads took them.. she was the connection to a potential kidnapping?
My guesses only.

PS: my understanding about the dual trip to the gym was that the gym was a focal point for people supporting the search/searchers. It was a drop off/distribution point for the supplies people were donating. I thought the Horman's were going there to connect with their community and say thank you. Though I recall the gym owner later saying that he was struck that TH never did say 'thank you' to him.

 

[ami]

ITA until that last line. I don't call sexting and seducing someone to lie to her own lawyer as misjudgment. She knew exactly what she was doing. That is something I cannot forgive. When a child is missing, sex should NOT be the first thing on anybody's mind. That is just plain WRONG.

I can forgive the rest of them, but not Terri. She has demonstrated that she doesn't give a rat's *advertiser censored** about Kyron and is only concerned with protecting herself and her reputation. That is not misjudgment, that is severly BAD judgment, IMO.

IF she is innocent, I don't care about the sexting. It's wrong in my moral code and in yours, but it's Terri's life and her own moral code she must follow and if an innocent Terri was sexting for whatever psychological/emotional reason she had, that's her cross to bear.

The asking MC to lie to police I forgot about. You're right, that's not a misjudgment in the search for Kyron but a sneaky obstruction in her divorce and possible MFH proceedings.

But the media avoidance, the real subject - sure if Terri made bad calls (and clearly she did) AND she's innocent, I would let it go.

 

[ami]

IMO, Kaine and Terri avoided the media because Kaine wanted to control what was put out there. IMO.

I very well hope he DID want to control what was put out there. Hats off to him for being able to make such choices for Kyron in those early days. Were my child missing, I hope someone would have the presence of mind to try to control the media circus as well.

 

[Jade2010]

OMG stmarysmead I can't even imagine. Just reading what you wrote made me start crying. I am SO glad your daughter was safe!! ((((HUG))))