BILL COSBY SENTENCED 3 TO 10 YEARS FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT
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GUILTY WI - Caryn Davis for child neglect, Eau Claire, 2010

Discussion in 'Recently Sentenced and Beyond' started by Missizzy, Aug 25, 2010.

  1. Missizzy

    Missizzy New Member

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    http://www.twincities.com/allheadlines/ci_15878684?nclick_check=1

    Charges: Eau Claire mom locked girl in laundry room, made her use bucket as toilet



    "A Eau Claire woman is accused of locking her 15-year-old daughter, a frequent runaway, in the laundry room of their residence.

    The girl sleeps in the laundry room and uses a bucket as a toilet, police said.

    The woman's boyfriend, who lives in an adjoining residence, was aware of the situation between the mother and daughter, police said.

    Caryn E. Davis, 33, and Randy Ganther, 44, have each been charged in Eau Claire County Court with a felony count of causing mental harm to a child and a misdemeanor count of child neglect.

    According to the criminal complaint:

    The girl told police she didn't want to go home because she was confined to the laundry room. She's allowed to leave the house but does not have access to the rest of the residence...."

    more at link


    These stories are so sad. I never know if the couple started out evil or snapped due to an inability to deal with a challenging child. Nothing excuses this abuse but I think society needs to pay attention to these problems. They certainly are showing no sign of abating.

    Just as we now address the issue of shaking babies, parents must be given the tools to use when working with teens who can be challenging. JMO

    Hopefully, this young lady will be placed in a safe and secure home.
     
  2. Lovejac

    Lovejac These boys are my heartstrings!

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    I think I'm going to need to see a little more info before comment.

    I was that age and was hell on wheels. Caused my Mom more grief and stress than I care to think about. I also wasn't the most honest teenager either. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it and didn't want anyone to try and stop me.

    I ran away as well, sometimes, mainly to do some social thing that I had been forbidden to do (and for good reason :rolleyes: )

    I would like to hear some more about this mother, hopefully some people who know more about this situation will post comments.
     
  3. mayelf

    mayelf New Member

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    I sort of think that there is worse things. There might be a lot of exaggeration in this story. I don't think all the facts are here. It's not right to "cage" someone but she also states she can leave the house... so ... contradicting?
     
  4. CHICANA

    CHICANA Active Member

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    From the same article...

    Davis also requires the girl to write 800- to 1,000-word essays on how to be respectful while she is locked in the room.

    ------How disturbing.
     
  5. Filly

    Filly KICKING AND SHINING

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    "It's no different than going camping" mom says. Alrightie then.

    Sometimes she is locked in the sunroom in Ganther's residence!!!!!! Really? Maybe that's the issue.

    Mom said she locks her in there because of the girls past threats to do damage. To what a piece of furniture? To the mom?

    Strange things amidst at the circle K if ya ask me.

    My main question would be why were you running away in the first place? Did the confinement lead to the "Faux camping site"? It kind of sounds like the mom thinks she did the kid a favor even giving her a bucket.
     
  6. CHICANA

    CHICANA Active Member

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    P
    I think the mom was at her wits end & the kids exaggerating. While I was at work my teen had had her friends over regularly without permission and they did a lot of damage which she blamed on her younger siblings. A cracked widow, holes in the doors & broken blinds. She was sneaking out & sneaking people in while I was sleeping but she never ran away. I didn't have a clue, I was such an idiot.
     
  7. Lovejac

    Lovejac These boys are my heartstrings!

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    :eek: Ms. Patty?? Is that you??
     
  8. Filly

    Filly KICKING AND SHINING

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    :crazy:You crack me up!

    Hey, trust me I can imagine. I hear ya Chicana and you're not an idiot. I can't say I did any of that because my dad was on that stuff. Raised by a cop. Don't think I didn't try it, but after a friend set my couch on fire, the fire engines were there and when the P's got home my brother directed my dad to the stereo speakers where some dude hid a weapon that was it for me.

    Like Izzy said you have to wonder. However, I also would want to know what the original reason was for the running away the first time.

    Again, I get it. My kid only had to run away to her father's. That way she could do whatever the heck she wanted and then some. Trust me four years later now she's an adult and she's paying the price. She wasn't exaggerating though when she told her daddy I wouldn't allow her in the car at age 17 with five men unknown to her. She didn't have to cause he was here.

    Teenagers work a nerve. Lovejac, go write an essay.

    I know this is serious, but for real what can we do? Chain them to a toilet tank? My friend wanted to try that one with her heroin addicted son. She checked. It's not legal. My poor friend.
     
  9. Missizzy

    Missizzy New Member

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    I'll come clean here. We once handed a foul-mouthed, furniture smashing out-of-control teen a sleeping bag and said, "Fine, you want to ask like that, sleep out back". He hopped the fence, went to the neighbor's and called the police. He claimed that we were kicking him out in a blizzard. It was winter, I'll admit, but probably 45 degrees. He had a down coat, a heavy sleeping bag and a covered porch. The back door was unlocked and he had access to the bathroom. He just didn't have his warm cozy bed.

    The officer was very nice and explained to our son that we had to provide him shelter but that a covered porch "counted" as shelter. The same 17 year old who had just thrown a chair at me and cussed me out, started crying and blubbering to be let into the warm house. The police officer wisely excused himself and I can still hear my husband groaning, "Oh, pul-lease knock off the crocodile tears and settle in for the night." Did it improve his behavior? Heck no. But we got some sleep.

    I agree that we'd need more info here to make any judgments. I knew this would be a hot one when I started the thread. Teens are tough. I've come to believe that it's not what they do but how you react that makes the difference.

    You guys make me so ashamed of my goody-two-shoes teen years!! Why didn't one of you come knocking at my window?
     
  10. Filly

    Filly KICKING AND SHINING

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    Your words to God's ears. Ain't that the truth? You're very wise, MissIz.

    Ummmmmmmmmmm, I couldn't come knock on your window. My house was like lock down. Never, ever could we have snuck out. My dad had that super duper cop hearing.
     
  11. Missizzy

    Missizzy New Member

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    And I believed my Grandma when she told me about Jesus seeing everything and that the Ol' Bad Man was out to get me if I wasn't a good girl.

    In fact, I still believe all that. You could have at least called, Filly.

    And I SO know what you mean about cop hearing. Having 9 teens all at once, some with um, unique gifts and issues, I'd have given him a run for his money, in the hearing department. I always felt a little bit sorry for our younger kids. I mean they tried. But with parents who've been around the block upwards to 20 times, it's really HARD to pull something good off. Did one really truly think that a towel under the door was going to work for herbal experiments when our bedroom window was only 10 feet away from her bedroom window and we always kept ours open? Oh, the stories I could tell.

    Let's keep our ears open for the story of this girl. I hope she's more comfortable tonight. Maybe DHS can do some mediation with this family. Sounds like they need it.
     
  12. 2goldfish

    2goldfish Active Member

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    I wish we knew a bit more, but I cant harshly judge the mother yet either. I've been tempted more times than I can count to stick my 16yo in the garage for the night just to get some peace :$ I havent got quite that desperate yet though :D

    or for the essays. this same 16 yo at age 9 or 10 had terrible handwriting and a tendancy to tell extraordinary lies. I thought it might help to combine & "treat" both issues into writing essays. (didnt work for either, by the way.)

    I am thankful I didnt get a daughter in some ways, much as I would have liked to have one. being one myself I know we can be troublesome indeed, worse than boys in some long reaching ways (pregnancy for an example). at this point with my boy I am struggling to accept that he's going to be who he is and learn how he needs to ... I have to believe it will all be fine as I believe I have taught him well! best to let him make his mistakes and learn from them now.
     
  13. CHICANA

    CHICANA Active Member

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    Who's Patty ?
     
  14. Missizzy

    Missizzy New Member

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    Speaking of essays, I've mentioned that our family had to be very creative concerning punitive measures due to the fact that our children had special needs and were adopted. We had pledged to never use corporal punishment--as if it would have worked!!

    Anyway, I glommed onto essays early on. If you acted out in our house, your punishment was boredom. You either sat at the dining room table or on the front porch and had to produce an essay concerning "What a bug thinks about as it's being stepped on" and "Why it is not nice to call your sister Deaf Girl even if she is deaf". You get the picture. I have a thick file as I kept them all. One child wrote his for years with the title S.A. at the top--essay. It helped them calm down, consider their actions, gave the rest of us a bit of calm, and improved writing skills. There was always a snack at the end of the 10-15 minute writing lesson so there was strong motivation to get it done.

    No one ever died from writing essays. My daughter-by-marriage (also my best friend) spent her first year of teaching in a remedial English class of Freshman boys. She was all of 26 but smart and witty as a whip. She had to be creative too. She came up with the assignment of sentences to write such as:

    "From this moment forward, I shall forever refrain from referring to kind and tender Ms. L in negative terms and shall endeavor to put fervent effort into developing my classroom etiquette for the greater good of my peers."

    They groaned and whined but there was an element of silliness to it which took the edge off and changed most of the behaviors. The boys also learned some new vocabulary. These same boys, now men, ask to be her friend on FB!!
     
  15. CHICANA

    CHICANA Active Member

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    Read the newest comments on the article. Sounds like their from someone who 'knows'.
    Also reminds me of the situation with my teen. When she was having strangers (to me) over while I was at work, I arranged for her to go to a friend of the family's house after school. She didn't go and instead hung around outside, making it look like I locked her out. After 2 days of that, I gave her the option of waiting in the garage, going to my friend's house or the library til I got home at 6. She chose the garage, let herself in with the garage door opener (door into house was locked) & waited there after school for 2 afternoons. I signed her up for a youth outreach program that started after that. She told everybody I locked her in the garage. Glad I wasn't arrested.
     
  16. Lovejac

    Lovejac These boys are my heartstrings!

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    The mom of the friend of the house that me and my friends hung out and did bad things! :crazy:

    I should have known you weren't Ms. Patty because you didn't mention a broken sofa and, uh, we broke her sofa.:innocent:
     
  17. rockemsockem

    rockemsockem New Member

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    I have knowledge of this family and this situation and I can tell you that the child in question believes she can do what ever she wants without consequences. She has been like this ever since she was little.
    If you tell her "no" you are doing her wrong. She will lie or do what ever she can to get her way.

    It is all most impossible to raise children in a society where you can't discipline your own kids with out fear of being put in prison. Counselors, therapists, police, will all undermine your authority in front of your own child.

    Why would a kid listen when they know they can get away with what ever they want? As a parent your hands are tied.

    With the drugs, running away, threats to destroy property, what would you do?

    Even if she was locked in a room, it is better than running away and getting into more trouble.
     
  18. Filly

    Filly KICKING AND SHINING

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    :slap:Don't make me have to seperate you two. I'm speaking for Miss Patty.

    At least you didn't set the sofa on fire like Reenie set mine on fire.:eek:
     
  19. Filly

    Filly KICKING AND SHINING

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    Welcome RockemSockem. Thank you for the input, and sharing.

    It pretty much looks like we're all parents here and obviously were teens so we do get it.

    Hoping things work out for the best for this family.
     
  20. CHICANA

    CHICANA Active Member

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    She sounds just like my daughter at 15. I didn't think there was even a felony charge for emotional maltreatment or whatever she's charged with.
    What if this girl had ran off & got hurt or hurt someone else ? They would have been all over mom for NOT stopping her. And what about the justice/court system that handcuffs & imprisons children ? Why isn't it abuse when they feel it's necessary ? Are there any other children ?
     

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