I also did not "officially" know that Desiree has been married 3 times. Nor did I know she was denied custody by both of her sons' fathers, and fought neither of them in court for custody. (I would like to know more about all of that. I'm sure there's a reason, but I don't completely understand why a mom would give up custody rights to both children to begin with. And then to choose not to fight the fathers in court over custody ... perhaps it was because Desiree eventually felt satisfied with the informal parenting plans arranged, and the custody arrangements for her sons met with her approval and made her sons happy?)
SBM
I think I have a good guess, based on personal experience. I went through kidney failure (subsequent to another serious illness) five years ago.
It is not like having the super-flu, pneumonia and shingles simultaneously, then recovering. It is maybe one thousand times worse than that. Conservative estimate.
When I came to consciousness in the hospital, I was literally so weak I could not feed myself because a spoon or fork was too heavy for me to lift to my lips.
When I finally got out of the hospital, I had to work out with four ounce weights. Yes, quarter pound weights! Because I simply could not handle more than that. I still needed assistance in finishing meals. I could not pick up more than one pound, maximum; more weight than that would just slide through my hands.
Keep in mind that I was already considered healthy enough to go home at that point so long as I had an adult caretaker (my husband who is my hero).
For the first six months after I got out of the hospital, I had to sleep 16-20 hours a day. If I did not lie down and sleep, I just fell asleep wherever I was. I had no choice, I could not force myself to stay awake.
It took me over a year before I felt anything approaching normal again.
One of my best friends also experience renal failure. He was in the army and given an antibiotic that triggered it. He was young, in top shape (a drill instructor) and his experiences and recovery time were pretty much the same as mine.
While I was recovering, there is no way I could have cared for an infant. I couldn't lift a baby, I probably couldn't even roll one over. I was ordered to avoid close contact with small children for that year because my immune system was so damaged that any normal childhood infection would have had serious consequences for me.
My guess is that when DY came back from Canada, she was still recovering and clearly not able to take care of her children. By the time she regained enough strength and health to do so, they were each established in their father's homes, which would have made it unlikely for her to win custody in court (in my state).