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Dang! Too late for me too! I'm with deanws...my husband left 3 years ago to be with his mistress, served me with papers claiming "severe and repeated mental cruelty without cause or provocation" basically because he couldn't think of a real reason. It's taking forever, because he's fighting me over every little thing....wah, wah, wah! :loser:
 
Dryad said:
Dang! Too late for me too! I'm with deanws...my husband left 3 years ago to be with his mistress, served me with papers claiming "severe and repeated mental cruelty without cause or provocation" basically because he couldn't think of a real reason. It's taking forever, because he's fighting me over every little thing....wah, wah, wah! :loser:
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Are the things you are fighting over important to you enough to keep fighting? You might need to choose your battles. I did the extreme thing and said "You can have EVERYTHING except the kid, and I'll pay for the divorce if you don't fight me on it." We both feel we got the better end of the deal.

He got all the junk, as well as the good stuff - but I got what I really wanted and left the rest.

The reason I ask if it's important, is that my ex boyfriend fought to the tune of $6,000 to get $2,000 worth of used stuff he could have just ditched and gotten new for less.
 
1989 - one child, no real estate, no fighting, one lawyer - $600 plus court costs
 
I'm up to about $5,500 right now. Had to give a $2,500 retainer and it's $300 an hour. Every phone call, every "meeting", every minute they spend making photocopies...they add it up.
 
GlitchWizard said:
Are the things you are fighting over important to you enough to keep fighting? You might need to choose your battles. I did the extreme thing and said "You can have EVERYTHING except the kid, and I'll pay for the divorce if you don't fight me on it." We both feel we got the better end of the deal.

He got all the junk, as well as the good stuff - but I got what I really wanted and left the rest.

The reason I ask if it's important, is that my ex boyfriend fought to the tune of $6,000 to get $2,000 worth of used stuff he could have just ditched and gotten new for less.
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Here's what happened...3 years ago my husband of 23 years just ups and leaves and gives me about 2 weeks notice. He doesn't tell me he has a mistress, says he wants to be "alone". I knew about the mistress because I installed a keylogger on our computer. She told him to leave his family or she wouldn't talk to him anymore. I never told him I knew.

We were separated about 1 year when he served me with divorce papers.
I've been a SAHM for 20 years with 2 kids and we sacrificed alot and lived very frugally in order for that to happen. For the past 3 years, all of the sudden around the time he leaves, he starts making alot of money and starts buying things and vehicles and stashing everything at the mistress's house so he doesn't have to claim it as property. He spent over $90,000 last year on a boat, SUV, car, gifts, personal checks to her, etc...and put everything in the mistress's name and it's sitting on her property 100 miles away. He hid all of this from me and the attorneys. He is mad that I subpoenaed his bank records and found this information out on my own, so now the judge wants him to back 1/2 of this back to me. Since we were still legally married at the time. Since he spent the cash, the judge wants to balance it out with property...62% mine, 38% to him. He's furious. Says the judge is to generous to me because I'm a woman....

He also doesn't think I should get alimony, he's fighting that. Judge ordered me to get at least 6 years alimony. He doesn't think I should get any more than 1/2 of the house, or 1/2 of the 401K...but the judge does because of his salary potential vs. mine and the fact that it's going to take me a long time to get back on my feet (alone). Judge also stated that he should pay 100% college costs for both kids, because he can with the amount of money he is making. Husband thinks I should pay 1/2. He makes well over $100,000 a year with bonuses that range from $50,000-$100,000. I'm living in an older house that is in need of many repairs. He has no bills and is in an apartment. His work pays for his truck, insurance, repairs, cell phone...most of his bills. The kids live with me and he hardly sees them.

So, basically he is fighting what the judge said and wants me to settle for less. He thinks because I was a secretary in 1987 I should be able to jump right back into that and make enough money to support myself and my kids. He is out of his mind.
 
Great reasons to fight on - and demand if he keeps fighting, he pays your court costs. :)

I'm glad you aren't arguing over the blacklight and gold velour Elvis painting and the cat.

:)

Dryad said:
Here's what happened...3 years ago my husband of 23 years just ups and leaves and gives me about 2 weeks notice. He doesn't tell me he has a mistress, says he wants to be "alone". I knew about the mistress because I installed a keylogger on our computer. She told him to leave his family or she wouldn't talk to him anymore. I never told him I knew.

We were separated about 1 year when he served me with divorce papers.
I've been a SAHM for 20 years with 2 kids and we sacrificed alot and lived very frugally in order for that to happen. For the past 3 years, all of the sudden around the time he leaves, he starts making alot of money and starts buying things and vehicles and stashing everything at the mistress's house so he doesn't have to claim it as property. He spent over $90,000 last year on a boat, SUV, car, gifts, personal checks to her, etc...and put everything in the mistress's name and it's sitting on her property 100 miles away. He hid all of this from me and the attorneys. He is mad that I subpoenaed his bank records and found this information out on my own, so now the judge wants him to back 1/2 of this back to me. Since we were still legally married at the time. Since he spent the cash, the judge wants to balance it out with property...62% mine, 38% to him. He's furious. Says the judge is to generous to me because I'm a woman....

He also doesn't think I should get alimony, he's fighting that. Judge ordered me to get at least 6 years alimony. He doesn't think I should get any more than 1/2 of the house, or 1/2 of the 401K...but the judge does because of his salary potential vs. mine and the fact that it's going to take me a long time to get back on my feet (alone). Judge also stated that he should pay 100% college costs for both kids, because he can with the amount of money he is making. Husband thinks I should pay 1/2. He makes well over $100,000 a year with bonuses that range from $50,000-$100,000. I'm living in an older house that is in need of many repairs. He has no bills and is in an apartment. His work pays for his truck, insurance, repairs, cell phone...most of his bills. The kids live with me and he hardly sees them.

So, basically he is fighting what the judge said and wants me to settle for less. He thinks because I was a secretary in 1987 I should be able to jump right back into that and make enough money to support myself and my kids. He is out of his mind.
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The funny this is...on top of all of these serious issues, he is very upset and wants to make sure he gets his camping tent and utensils up in the garage rafters that he left here. He claims it as "pre-marital" property...like I want his camping tent?

My garage is still full of his junk and he won't remove it because he says he has nowhere to put it. This includes a 4-wheeler ATV, canoe, trailer, toolboxes, paintings, hope chest from him mom, gun cabinet, all of his mother's possessions, his high school memorabilia...why do I have to store his junk?
 
Dryad said:
The funny this is...on top of all of these serious issues, he is very upset and wants to make sure he gets his camping tent and utensils up in the garage rafters that he left here. He claims it as "pre-marital" property...like I want his camping tent?

My garage is still full of his junk and he won't remove it because he says he has nowhere to put it. This includes a 4-wheeler ATV, canoe, trailer, toolboxes, paintings, hope chest from him mom, gun cabinet, all of his mother's possessions, his high school memorabilia...why do I have to store his junk?
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I'll be happy to store his ATV, Canoe and trailer. :-D

I wonder how much trouble you'd be in if you washed the tent in something like fabric softener or whatever would wash off the waterproofing type stuff. He'd never know until he tried camping in the rain. :)
 
GlitchWizard said:
I'll be happy to store his ATV, Canoe and trailer. :-D

I wonder how much trouble you'd be in if you washed the tent in something like fabric softener or whatever would wash off the waterproofing type stuff. He'd never know until he tried camping in the rain. :)
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Oh PRICELESS!!!!!!

:crazy:
 
GlitchWizard said:
I'll be happy to store his ATV, Canoe and trailer. :-D

I wonder how much trouble you'd be in if you washed the tent in something like fabric softener or whatever would wash off the waterproofing type stuff. He'd never know until he tried camping in the rain. :)
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Yeah, I like the way you think! I told my older son that I should call a moving truck, pack all his crap in it and have it all delivered to his mistress' front yard! Wouldn't that be a hoot! I would love to see the expression on her face..."You wanted him honey, you got him! And all his junk!" :eek:
 
GlitchWizard said:
I'll be happy to store his ATV, Canoe and trailer. :-D

I wonder how much trouble you'd be in if you washed the tent in something like fabric softener or whatever would wash off the waterproofing type stuff. He'd never know until he tried camping in the rain. :)
Click to expand...

I know. Set the tent up and paint a message to him using whatever removes the waterproofing. So he sees it when he opens his eyes and wonders why the tent is leaking. :D Or use glow-in-the-dark paint for the message. LOL

Dryad, I say you have good reason to keep fighting for what's yours. I love that you have a decent judge!! :woohoo: Good luck!
 
Taximom said:
I know. Set the tent up and paint a message to him using whatever removes the waterproofing. So he sees it when he opens his eyes and wonders why the tent is leaking. :D Or use glow-in-the-dark paint for the message. LOL

Dryad, I say you have good reason to keep fighting for what's yours. I love that you have a decent judge!! :woohoo: Good luck!
Click to expand...

Oh, the sign is a great idea - but it doesn't always rain when you camp. You can put in the top of the tent "Did you tell her you have herpes?" and fold it up nice and neat. He won't see it until they climb in the tent. :)

Or... buy a cheap child's tent with small poles. Remove the poles of the one tent and replace them with the small poles. When he's in the middle of nowhere trying to set up the tent, the poles will be so small it won't work. :-D
 
OMG, Glitch, good thing I didn't have coffee yet or I'd be cleaning the monitor!!!

Something tells me we could start a thread about our evil thoughts.... mwuhahahaha
 
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