Woman Fingers Ex-Girlfriend In Sex Toy Theft

Discussion in 'Bizarre and Off-Beat News' started by TrackerSam, Jul 24, 2013.

  1. TrackerSam

    TrackerSam New Member

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    JULY 24--Florida police are investigating the theft of “three strap-on dildos” that were allegedly taken from a storage unit by a female suspect after she broke up with her girlfriend following a rocky year-long relationship.

    Rivera, who said she was unable to contact her ex about the missing dildos, surmised that the suspect “temporarily removed the items in an attempt to get back together with her, depriving Rivera the use of the property.”

    The disappearance of the dildos has been classified as a possible grand theft, and the investigation remains open, according to a sheriff’s report.

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/strap-on-dildo-heist-9182345

    I love Florida.
     
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  3. Dewey2Me1MoThyme

    Dewey2Me1MoThyme Have clue will sleuth!

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    I can't even read this article until I stop laughing over the wording in the title. :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh: :floorlaugh:
     
  4. Snoods

    Snoods Active Member

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    Me too!:floorlaugh: I'm fresh off posting with much hilarity (and immaturity) in the Anthony Weiner thread so I already had a huge case of the giggles. This is hysterical.
     
  5. burbqueen

    burbqueen New Member

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    WTH! i rubbed my eyes a few times. I just read the first 3 words! WS oh my........
     
  6. TrackerSam

    TrackerSam New Member

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    And this line "classified as a possible grand theft". I guess they do come in different sizes, from petty to grand theft. :floorlaugh:
     
  7. Dewey2Me1MoThyme

    Dewey2Me1MoThyme Have clue will sleuth!

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    I'm wondering if this case was a hard one for the detectives? ;)
     
  8. Steely Dan

    Steely Dan Former Member

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    Me too! :floorlaugh:
     
  9. john's mom

    john's mom Active Member

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    Steely, I thought for sure you were the one who started this thread!
     
  10. Steely Dan

    Steely Dan Former Member

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    TS is funnier than I am.
     
  11. ArianeEmory

    ArianeEmory I know the pieces fit

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    I have to admit, I thought it must be something really expensive like a Sybian.

    Googling that is NSFW.
     
  12. TrackerSam

    TrackerSam New Member

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    You've priced them? Been shopping have you? :floorlaugh: :blushing: I'd steer clear of used machines.
     
  13. Snoods

    Snoods Active Member

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    Fortunately I wasn't at work because I googled Sybian before I googled NSFW!:floorlaugh:
     
  14. TrackerSam

    TrackerSam New Member

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    "Yes Ma'am, please describe the stolen items....... Vibrating? No Ma'am I'm not trying to be funny. We're going to need a DNA sample. No Ma'am I'm not smirking, just a bit of gas." "Like family..... yes Ma'am we get that". :floorlaugh:
     
  15. ArianeEmory

    ArianeEmory I know the pieces fit

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    Haha, I tried!
     
  16. ArianeEmory

    ArianeEmory I know the pieces fit

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    I have no memory of the events in question.
     
  17. TrackerSam

    TrackerSam New Member

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    :floorlaugh::floorlaugh::floorlaugh:
     
  18. Dewey2Me1MoThyme

    Dewey2Me1MoThyme Have clue will sleuth!

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    Why does this song come to mind?

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PdZgrnh69w"]Muddy Waters - Mustang Sally - YouTube[/ame]
     
  19. texaslb218

    texaslb218 Active Member

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    At least there is no possibility of this headline being "premature."
     
  20. Dewey2Me1MoThyme

    Dewey2Me1MoThyme Have clue will sleuth!

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    Sounds like a clear cut case of snatch and grab to me.
     
  21. Snoods

    Snoods Active Member

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    This thread is heading down a slippery slope.
     

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