Woman Implanted With Wrong Embryo to Give Up Baby

Discussion in 'Up to the Minute' started by January., Sep 22, 2009.

  1. January.

    January. Active Member

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    Full story plus video of the couple's appearance on the Today show yesterday: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32950836/ns/today-today_health/
     
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  3. Vegas Bride

    Vegas Bride New Member

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    I feel so bad that this happened for this couple, but they certainly have handled it in the very best way possible IMO. The other couple must have been so terrified that they would decide to abort rather than carry the baby. I hope the baby has a happy and healthy life and that this couple are able to eventually have the baby they hope for, it sounds like this was her last chance to become pregnant so they have a surrogate lined up.

    VB
     
  4. oh_gal

    oh_gal New Member

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    Very sad story...especially because this was the last pregnancy she could have.
     
  5. Kymistry35

    Kymistry35 It's never to late to be who you could have been

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    Didn't this exact same thing happen as a storyline on Private Practive? Such a sad story, I hope they eventually get the baby they deserve.
     
  6. Claycat

    Claycat Inactive

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    It is sad, but she does have three other children. For a minute, I thought this was the only one.

    I hope they sued the clinic.
     
  7. oh_gal

    oh_gal New Member

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    Just because she already has 3 children didn't make this last child any less wanted by her. Would you say the same thing about her if this child had died (because, in a way, her child, or the dream of having this child, did die)?
     
  8. montana_16

    montana_16 Active Member

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    Ok, I know i'm stupid when it comes to things like this and I am a kind hearted person, although what I have to say won't seem like it.

    Do they legally have to give the other couple the baby? I don't see why they have to give away their baby, and to me, just my opinion, it is their baby.

    The way I feel is, I wish the fertility clinic never even told them. I guess it's just that I feel so so so so bad for this couple. I'm letting that overtake my thinking.
     
  9. wildTrose

    wildTrose New Member

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    too bad the other couple wouldnt carry a baby for them...that way they both get a baby..unconventionally but still a baby lol
     
  10. Nova

    Nova Active Member

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    Yes, it did.
     
  11. Trino

    Trino Active Member

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    I agree. I also hope the clinic is paying all charges related to the pregnancy. The other couple might also consider a lawsuit.
     
  12. mae

    mae New Member

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    While in your opinion, the person who carries the baby is the mother, that is not the way the law works. And that is why they had no legal claim to the baby as sad as the story is. It's not their baby. The embryo is biologically the other couple's. They have the rights to the embryos. The baby would have no biological relation to the woman who carries him or to her husband. The biological parents did not give any permission for their genetic material to be given to someone else. They did not agree to let another couple use their embryos to make a baby. This woman is essentially acting as a gestational carrier for another couple (even though that was not her or their intention).

    Also, we could assume that these embryos implanted to create the current pregnancy might be the biological only ones left. What if these were their last chance? Which means that they no longer have access to embryos they saved to have babies.

    The fertility clinic had to tell them. It has a legal obligation. Imagine if they hadn't, and it came to light years later when they found out the child is not biologically theirs.

    It is a very heartbreaking story. But they are handling it with the utmost dignity and grace. I admire their strength. This couple is being entirely selfless. And in the end, they will still get the biological 4th child they want so very badly. It will just be through a different manner than they thought.
     
  13. sadyjade

    sadyjade "I'll follow you down til the sound of my voice wi

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    As a woman who went through infertility treatments myself .... Bless them all TWICE!!! ... I'm not sure I could just simply hand over a child I nurtured, tyhinking it was *my* child*. However, If I entered into an agreement to be a surragote ... another matter entirely !!!

    A contract is a contract! If it were me, this clinic, these doctors, hell .... maybe even this woman ... would be *giving me a baby!

    Infertility is very invasive, very expensive ... both finacially and emotionally!

    Cough up another baby, baby momma.
     
  14. not_my_kids

    not_my_kids New Member

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    I don't think I could have a child and then give it away, pretty much never to see it again.
    Since it seems the birth parents won't be involved in the child's life. I think that would be the hard part. I have considered being a surrogate, but there is a big difference between agreeing to carry a child of someone else's and thinking you are carrying your own, only to find out different.

    I would sue. Not even so much because of what happened in this case, but to make them more vigilant in the future as to security. There are some genetic issues that can cause problems to the mother, as well. Imagine if the implanted embryo had developed complications that also killed or injured the mother. How horrible it would be to lose your life to complications from someone else's child that you never agreed to carry.
     
  15. mae

    mae New Member

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    Not_my_kids, I don't know what I'd do if I were faced with this decision. I think it would be really hard to give a baby up that I spent 40+ weeks gestating, but at the same time, the baby is also someone else's baby. What if that was the only shot and they lost it? It's a selfless act to give the baby to his bio parents. And definitely not easy. But ultimately this couple put the baby first, and I admire them tremendously. Their strength is amazing, but their grief is palpable.

    However, the couple do want to have contact with the biological parents. They did not mention if the other couple wants to have access. I don't think anyone is sure how to proceed and will take it day by day. Regardless, they have a great perspective.

    Also, they knew right away the baby was someone else's, and they had a choice in the matter on what to do with the pregnancy. They choice not to terminate. They knew from the beginning that they would be giving the baby up if they continued the pregnancy. It is still different from actively choosing to be a surrogate, but they were never under the impression the baby was theirs. But it seems like she has tried to come from that angle--carrying a much wanted baby for another family. I admire her for making the best of a terrible situation. In the end, she is giving the amazing gift of life, she is going to be given the amazing gift of life and that is something to be happy for.
     
  16. Soulmagent

    Soulmagent Active Member

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  17. mae

    mae New Member

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    I really admire the family's strength.

    I hope the get the privacy and the peace they are looking for.
     
  18. NewMommy09

    NewMommy09 New Member

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    My heart goes out to both families. It's tragic on both sides.

    Being the mother who is pregnant: To find out that the child you are carrying is not only NOT biologically yours, but that you have to GIVE IT UP to the biological parents when you have it. I can't imagine what that feels like. And being her last chance for a pregnancy on top of that. I would wonder and miss this child every day for the rest of my life. I would always question what would have been. I would feel violated, very very depressed, and many more mostly undescribable emotions.

    Being the mother who is not pregnant: I would be grateful that the other woman chose to carry through with the pregnancy and chose to hand my biological child over to me once born. I would be angry that I didn't get to carry my own child in my womb. I would feel violated that my embryo's fertilized with my husband's sperm were implanted into a complete stranger. I would feel very regretful for and sympathetic to the woman who would have to give the child she nurtured in her womb up to me after giving birth. And again, many more indescribable emotions.

    There is no way to fix this for the good of all. The pain is irreversible for those involved, no matter what the outcome. I am amazed at the strength being shown in how they are all dealing with it. My prayer is being sent for these families to come together and keep in touch so that both families can watch this child grow and enjoy his/her life.
     

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