Found Deceased WY - Gabrielle ‘Gabby’ Petito, 22, Grand Teton National Park, 25 Aug 2021 #84

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Doghairrules

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The Laundrie family attorney, Steven Bertolino, has responded to the Moab report involving #GabbyPetito and #BrianLaundrie.

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https://twitter.com/WFLAJB/status/1481615453072019458
I would counter that just the one life lost was a tragedy. Sigh.
 

borndem

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I would counter that just the one life lost was a tragedy. Sigh.

We did lose one hard-working and talented young woman, didn't we? Her art already has out-lived her -- way too soon -- her sweet, bright and happy light that she shared with everyone.
So glad her folks and friends have that to share & cherish.
 

Wokesleuth

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IMO, only because he lied and the police ignored the witness who saw him slapping her.
man, domestic abuse laws sure need to be more extensively researched and updated, LE training and protocol should be researched updated and humanized as well, this case only highlights this I have watched the body cam footage in this case and only come to the conclusion that this is a tragedy that we will never know if it could have been prevented.
We can try to prevent this type of thing in the future through reform and education.
The 911 call makes me have a lot of questions as to why she was thought as the offender according to responding officers, we have exhaustive communication capabilities through technological advances so there really shouldn't be that problem especially when life and death could always be on the line.
 

MistyWaters

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“Petito told the officers she had “ high anxiety and OCD, ” but that Laundrie had anxiety as well.”
Gabby Petito should have been cited for domestic abuse by Utah police, review finds | National Post

My opinion only, this is not a situation of the villain and the saint. Domestic violence often perpetuates itself and the tragedy is when a couple is inside of it, they can’t see the dysfunction for what it is.
Had it not been for the fact they travelling alone together, others close to them might’ve saw the danger and been able to successfully intervene. But that’s a big “maybe”.

I’d say Gabby’s dream of the two of them putting on happy faces while van vlogging across the country with a following of 1000s of adoring online fans was just not realistic in light of their difficult relationship. What was she hoping to prove? It’s well known the projection of online happiness through smiling pics does not resolve internal strife. Hopefully others in a similar situation can learn from this, which is why I think the good guy/bad guy version of this story does little to yield justice to either one. JMO
 

Satchie

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“Petito told the officers she had “ high anxiety and OCD, ” but that Laundrie had anxiety as well.”
Gabby Petito should have been cited for domestic abuse by Utah police, review finds | National Post

My opinion only, this is not a situation of the villain and the saint. Domestic violence often perpetuates itself and the tragedy is when a couple is inside of it, they can’t see the dysfunction for what it is.
Had it not been for the fact they travelling alone together, others close to them might’ve saw the danger and been able to successfully intervene. But that’s a big “maybe”.

I’d say Gabby’s dream of the two of them putting on happy faces while van vlogging across the country with a following of 1000s of adoring online fans was just not realistic in light of their difficult relationship. What was she hoping to prove? It’s well known the projection of online happiness through smiling pics does not resolve internal strife. Hopefully others in a similar situation can learn from this, which is why I think the good guy/bad guy version of this story does little to yield justice to either one. JMO
I agree, people can't see their own relationships the same way they look from the outside. They try to resolve problems, each in their own, often extremely disasterous, way.

For Gabby, that seemed to mean taking the blame to get it all smoothed over. I don't think it's fair to expect police to immediately intuit the dynamics of a relationship between two people who are in deep denial. Probably even a trained psychotherapist would need hours of working with them to get them to face up to their needs, expectations, fantasies, etc.

It might have been good if there was some kind of mandatory therapy police could impose, but there's not social workers enough in the world to counsel people who actually want counselling.

I hope something can be done to educate naive, sweet, trusting young girls and women to realize that the potential for male violence is a real thing, even your mouse-like hipster boyfriend is capable of it if he gets into a certain frame of mind.

I've seen so many, many cases of this happening, in so many permutations. IMO, all variations on the theme of the girl who loved lions and just had to go into his cage to cuddle him like the pussycat she seemed to believe he was.

ETA: just to add, the solution in the past was for families to keep women close and vet their choice of partner, but I don't think we can return to those days.
 
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MistyWaters

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I agree, people can't see their own relationships the same way they look from the outside. They try to resolve problems, each in their own, often extremely disasterous, way.

For Gabby, that seemed to mean taking the blame to get it all smoothed over. I don't think it's fair to expect police to immediately intuit the dynamics of a relationship between two people who are in deep denial. Probably even a trained psychotherapist would need hours of working with them to get them to face up to their needs, expectations, fantasies, etc.

It might have been good if there was some kind of mandatory therapy police could impose, but there's not social workers enough in the world to counsel people who actually want counselling.

I hope something can be done to educate naive, sweet, trusting young girls and women to realize that the potential for male violence is a real thing, even your mouse-like hipster boyfriend is capable of it if he gets into a certain frame of mind.

I've seen so many, many cases of this happening, in so many permutations. IMO, all variations on the theme of the girl who loved lions and just had to go into his cage to cuddle him like the pussycat she seemed to believe he was.

ETA: just to add, the solution in the past was for families to keep women close and vet their choice of partner, but I don't think we can return to those days.

That’s right. As soon as a relationship becomes violent with hitting and scratching it’s doomed and it’s time for one or both parties to walk. It’s pointless to try to lay blame, or excuses.

Adding to your solutions in the past, police might’ve made a courtesy phonecall to the parents and informed them the couple were having difficulties. But of course that’s not an option in this day and age either.
 
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borndem

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That’s right. As soon as a relationship becomes violent with hitting and scratching it’s doomed and it’s time for one or both parties to walk. It’s pointless to try to lay blame, or excuses.

Adding to your solutions in the past, police might’ve called the parents and told them the couple were having difficulties. But of course that’s not an option in this day and age either.

bbm
You're right -- they were adults and no real physical damage was done to either one, so they didn't/couldn't arrest either one for assault, etc. Some of the male officers should have been more sensitive to her, IMO, but at least they separated them for a night.
And Gabby, as usual, didn't make a big deal about him abusing her -- not sure why -- just her nature, I guess, and she was dependent on him for some things (driving, especially), and his abuse was probably slow and subtle, so she didn't probably realize how selfish and mean he actually was. They were a long way from home, too, and that was b.i.g, IMO. And they did have good times.

But she was, IMO, starting to stand up for herself more often, I think, and that's prolly when he lost it and did what he did.
 
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Satchie

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When I think of the critical decision point, I think: If only he hadn't come back from Florida. If only she'd called someone to come help her get somewhere safe where she could recover her bearings.

But no one wants to have to ask for help. And perhaps she felt she'd burned her bridges, and couldn't give up and go home after all she'd put into her dream.

Instead, she stayed in the hotel and perfected that video of the two of them, perpetually holding hands and kissing.

I don't fault her at all, it's a tragic story. Most people become wiser through these kinds of tough experiences in their youth, but not everyone survives.

JMO
 

Satchie

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And Gabby, as usual, didn't make a big deal about him abusing her -- not sure why -- just her nature, I guess, and she was dependent on him for some things (driving, especially), and his abuse was probably slow and subtle, so she didn't probably realize how selfish and mean he actually was. They were a long way from home, too, and that was b.i.g, IMO. And they did have good times.

But she was, IMO, starting to stand up for herself more often, I think, and that's prolly when he lost it and did what he did.
RSBM

Yes, I recall a psychologist saying, some women are like water, they can no more stand up for themselves than the surface of a lake.

It's actually a good symbol of femininity in general, and Gabby seemed, to me, very feminine. And that's why some men are so attracted to those kinds of women, they're inherently submissive.

<modsnip>

Just from my observation, anything that threatens a man's sense of masculinity seems to potentially trigger violence when under stress (or alcohol/drugs) So, any suggestion she might prefer another man, or that she thought he was a lousy boyfriend compared with other potential men, or her expressing contempt for him: for example, chiding him for having been a bozo in the restaurant earlier.

IMO, if he was used to her idolizing him, her loss of respect could feel like a mortal wound to his identity, which triggers the outrageous life or death response.

Purely amateur opinion and speculation.
 
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MistyWaters

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bbm
You're right -- they were adults and no real physical damage was done to either one, so they didn't/couldn't arrest either one for assault, etc. Some of the male officers should have been more sensitive to her, IMO, but at least they separated them for a night.
And Gabby, as usual, didn't make a big deal about him abusing her -- not sure why -- just her nature, I guess, and she was dependent on him for some things (driving, especially), and his abuse was probably slow and subtle, so she didn't probably realize how selfish and mean he actually was. They were a long way from home, too, and that was b.i.g, IMO. And they did have good times.

But she was, IMO, starting to stand up for herself more often, I think, and that's prolly when he lost it and did what he did.

“But she was, IMO, starting to stand up for herself more often, I think, and that's prolly when he lost it and did what he did.”

Yes I agree except for when domestic violence is active in a relationship, there’s only one way to stand up for oneself and that’s to leave the relationship. We will never know exactly what happened that last fateful day.

The problem for many woman is they’re in love with the boyfriend’s image that they have in their mind (or in loving, fun filled good-looking couple pics) and not with who he really is. What’s worse is they often think they can change him.

For Gabby I wonder that as she’d thrown everything into the vanlife vlogging, she wouldn’t admit, even to herself, that she made the wrong choice in her partner. Maybe it was all about pride. I’m certainly not blaming her for that. As common as relationship breakups have become, it saddens me there’s still a tendency for people to judge, take sides and lay blame including speculation about who’s at fault when couples break up. We see it regularly when high profile marriages fall apart. Until that changes, sadly I think it’s hard for young women to find the courage to leave an unhealthy relationship, sometimes for fear of being perceived as a failure. JMO
 
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