Mom finds son missing for 23 years

Weird story. http://www.insidebayarea.com/dailyreview/localnews/ci_3650322

Terri Helkenn pondered her missing son's fate for 23 years. Her life has been one of agonizing questions and dark thoughts as to what may have happened to her oldest child.


Tirelessly inspired by a wrenching need to know, she has spent more than two decades looking for John Humbard. Last summer she found him — partially because of an article in the Tri-Valley Herald, a sister paper of The Daily Review. The child she last saw as a young man has advanced well into middle age with a wife and family of his own.

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If that were my son, I think I would hug him and then slap him.

SadieJane said:

Weird story. http://www.insidebayarea.com/dailyreview/localnews/ci_3650322


If that were my son, I think I would hug him and then slap him.

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I don't know hon. I have a great aunt who's son REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE OR VISIT HER.

1 child committed suicide, another child stayed in the town but raised 2 very unusual children who to this day are so screwed up......

and then her 3rd child. Moved away, had a wife and children, returned to "home town" to visit wife's family but would NEVER come to visit parents. Went to father's funeral - sat in the back and left abruptly.

These children experienced some tremendously (UNSPOKEN) abuse that lead them to create a terrible adult life.

In the end, makes me wonder what happened to this son.... what happened to him.

I do not believe a child raised in a loving safe normal environment... would ever pull this.


PS: I've OMITTED much of the family story.... but in the end, I would NEVER begrudge him of leaving his whole history behind. Sometimes we need to become effective people, we need to leave the abusive people behind.

I am sorry, but I think it is completely selfish on his part to let his mother wonder and worry for so long.
There is no reason to make your family go through this uneeded pain.

Of course, if this was my child, I would be happy to see him, to know he is alive, to talk to him again, but I don't think that wound would ever heal.

lisag said:

I am sorry, but I think it is completely selfish on his part to let his mother wonder and worry for so long.
There is no reason to make your family go through this uneeded pain.

Of course, if this was my child, I would be happy to see him, to know he is alive, to talk to him again, but I don't think that wound would ever heal.

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you are right Lisa- if he wanted nothing to do with her, that is one thing- but to leave the family and have them search and wonder for that many years, is heartless-

It sounds like the son suffers from a mild form of autism and a generalized anxiety syndrome. My first husband was one of those types that couldn't abide anything resemblign stress/pressure from his parents. He didn't hate them, but he could easily have gone years without seeing or talking to them if at all possible. It seemed like some form of attachment disorder.

Man, that made me cry! Yes, he shouldn't have done it that way, he shouldn't have just walked away from his family and made them worry and wonder. But the mom is right, she has so much to be thankful for. She not only found out what happened to her child, she found him alive! That in itself is amazing!

He could have sent a postcard that just said "you won't be hearing from me again." To just walk off and leave them worried like that was mean. He knows it would break their heart, and he must have had a reason for wanting to do so. He still hasn't come clean.

TheShadow said:

He could have sent a postcard that just said "you won't be hearing from me again." To just walk off and leave them worried like that was mean. He knows it would break their heart, and he must have had a reason for wanting to do so. He still hasn't come clean.

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Apparently he did go home at one point over 10 years ago, but they had moved to the Phillipinnes, so he didn't see the need to follow up until recently. Stuff like this used to happen all the time before television, telephones, and the internet made it easier to keep in touch.

Billy - that was years after he disappeared. He left them hanging thinking he was dead or in some South American prison or something. There's no reason to be that way unless he was trying to be cruel or just say "F U, I don't care what you think or feel".

TheShadow said:

Billy - that was years after he disappeared. He left them hanging thinking he was dead or in some South American prison or something. There's no reason to be that way unless he was trying to be cruel or just say "F U, I don't care what you think or feel".

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See the comments I made about attachment disorder & mild autism.