IWannaKnow
New Member
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2008
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soyesterday,
I know you did not post for me, but I felt I had to put my 2 cents in.
I was abused by my extended family for years. I tried to tell my mother about it when I was in my 20's and her response was "that never happened". I was gob-smacked (as the Brit's say). She then proceded to tell me that she had been molested by her Uncle and "bad things happen to everyone" and I just needed to forget about it, get past it. After many years of processing this, and putting together other pieces of information, I concluded that she, as well as at least some of her sisters, had also been abused, to a much greater degree than she admitted to or remembered. It is/was a huge family secret, so huge, they have all conveniently forgotten about it, make up lies to cover it up, do nothing to stop it (because it never happened in the first place)....................denial is very powerful. These things are not isolated incidents, they run in families, and you really have to be "trained up" in one of these families to be willing to pull the wool over your own eyes to cover up. I think the shame is just to much to bear or admit to.
I am speaking of generational abuse. It would be different if say, a child was abused at a preschool, church setting, etc........by an unknown person.
MY UNSOLICITED OPINION
I know you did not post for me, but I felt I had to put my 2 cents in.
I was abused by my extended family for years. I tried to tell my mother about it when I was in my 20's and her response was "that never happened". I was gob-smacked (as the Brit's say). She then proceded to tell me that she had been molested by her Uncle and "bad things happen to everyone" and I just needed to forget about it, get past it. After many years of processing this, and putting together other pieces of information, I concluded that she, as well as at least some of her sisters, had also been abused, to a much greater degree than she admitted to or remembered. It is/was a huge family secret, so huge, they have all conveniently forgotten about it, make up lies to cover it up, do nothing to stop it (because it never happened in the first place)....................denial is very powerful. These things are not isolated incidents, they run in families, and you really have to be "trained up" in one of these families to be willing to pull the wool over your own eyes to cover up. I think the shame is just to much to bear or admit to.
I am speaking of generational abuse. It would be different if say, a child was abused at a preschool, church setting, etc........by an unknown person.
MY UNSOLICITED OPINION