AZ - Ryan Gallagher, 17 mos, dies in hot car, Phoenix, 30 Oct 2007

[angelmom]

OK, I just went to read the actual article. I'm having a hard time believing this was an accident.

Yeah, that's not good.

 

[southcitymom]

OK, I just went to read the actual article. I'm having a hard time believing this was an accident.

Not me - the article portrays a confused young mother who is struggling with the dificulties of raising a young child, but loves him and can't stand the thought of not seeing him every day.

 

[hipmamajen]

Or a mom who's sick of dealing with him, but doesn't want anyone else to have him, either.

 

[philamena]

This child didn't die which could be the difference, but still...it does point out how much it varies upon prosecution of such an offense.

Tulsa County prosecutors say they will not charge a woman who left her one-month-old son in a hot car earlier this year. The child was left in a locked car outside an Owasso business with the window rolled up in August. Temperatures at the time were 104 degrees.

http://kotv.com/news/local/story/?id=138606

Seriously,
The baby this article discusses did die.

hours before dying in her car, Ashly Duchene's 17-month-old son smiled at her as she looked at him through her rearview mirror.

But for some reason, when Duchene, 22, arrived at work Tuesday morning, she forgot about Ryan's happy face and left him in her Honda Civic for seven hours while she waited tables at Hooters. She now faces charges of neglient homicide.

 

[aussie_mum]

Well I can admit to not being the perfect mother. I am a single parent to 3 children ages 3,4 and 9. The childcare centre the 2 youngest attend is slap bang in the middle of our house and where I work. About 2 weeks ago I was 3/4 of the way to work when my son piped up from the back seat "Where are we going mum?".... oopps.... turned around and took them to childcare. It scared me! Because they could have so easily not said anything. And when I got to work I could have been out of the car in 2 seconds flat without it even occuring to me that I had left them in the car. Yes my mind was on other things, and as much as it sucks I can easily see how this could happen. It's not that I don't think about them, because I constantly do, but we often do things in a routine, without thinking, so sometimes when we miss a step we don't even realise.

I will also put my hand up to leaving the iron on, leaving the oven on, leaving a bath tap running, leaving the front door wide open, forgetting to feed my kids breakfast and a whole list of other things. Because when we do these things we often have a routine we adhere to, so if we do one thing different, we may miss a step.

 

[southcitymom]

Seriously,
The baby this article discusses did die.

I think SS was talking about the case in the link she posted!

 

[southcitymom]

Well I can admit to not being the perfect mother. I am a single parent to 3 children ages 3,4 and 9. The childcare centre the 2 youngest attend is slap bang in the middle of our house and where I work. About 2 weeks ago I was 3/4 of the way to work when my son piped up from the back seat "Where are we going mum?".... oopps.... turned around and took them to childcare. It scared me! Because they could have so easily not said anything. And when I got to work I could have been out of the car in 2 seconds flat without it even occuring to me that I had left them in the car. Yes my mind was on other things, and as much as it sucks I can easily see how this could happen. It's not that I don't think about them, because I constantly do, but we often do things in a routine, without thinking, so sometimes when we miss a step we don't even realise.

I will also put my hand up to leaving the iron on, leaving the oven on, leaving a bath tap running, leaving the front door wide open, forgetting to feed my kids breakfast and a whole list of other things. Because when we do these things we often have a routine we adhere to, so if we do one thing different, we may miss a step.

Great post - I really agree with the last line.

The young mother in this case had just gotten her child back after the child had been with its grands for a few weeks - she was definitely out of the routine.

 

[SuziQ]

Great post - I really agree with the last line.

The young mother in this case had just gotten her child back after the child had been with its grands for a few weeks - she was definitely out of the routine.

I've heard that these cases usually involve routines that were changed.

ETA: A good tip is to always leave something like your purse, lunch, briefcase, etc on the floor of the car in front of the baby. That way you'll always be drawn to the back seat before walking away from the car.

 

[kahskye]

Not me - the article portrays a confused young mother who is struggling with the dificulties of raising a young child, but loves him and can't stand the thought of not seeing him every day.

I agree that this mom was struggling and didn't intentionally leave her baby in the car. I feel for her and the baby's father.

 

[SuziQ]

I am curious as to who the family and friends are that are saying negative things about this mom. And in what context are they saying them? IMO, it's these comments that lead to the quick arrest. Unless the mom confessed or something. But wouldn't we all feel guilty and say it was our fault if it happened to us even under the most innocent of circumstances? Has an autopsy and COD been released yet?

ETA: just read the above links on who said what and why. No simple answer here.

 

[CyberLaw]

I guess what really ticks me off: The Father "offered" to take full responsibility and care for the child, but the mother "put her wants" and needs first.

She must have told people she was overwhelmed, that she was stressed, but did she do what was in the best interest of the baby. She "could not stand the thought" of not seeing him everyday that is why the Dad did not "get full custody" even though he offered. Well look at how this ended up.

Again, yet another case of a child paying with their life, because of a a parents "mistake".

 

[hipmamajen]

ETA: A good tip is to always leave something like your purse, lunch, briefcase, etc on the floor of the car in front of the baby. That way you'll always be drawn to the back seat before walking away from the car.

I understand what you're saying, and it seems like it's probably a good idea. But the thing that worries me about this advice is that it sounds like a person would notice she'd left her phone in the car before she'd notice she left her baby in the car. KWIM? What does that say about us, as people?

I know that parents make mistakes, and I know that I have. But I have a really hard time believing that this many people "forgot" their child in the car. I'm sure it happens legitimately sometimes, most likely even most of the time. But could that really be true in every single case? I worry that the likelihood that at least some of these are actual murders is high.

 

[GlitchWizard]

Well I can admit to not being the perfect mother. I am a single parent to 3 children ages 3,4 and 9. The childcare centre the 2 youngest attend is slap bang in the middle of our house and where I work. About 2 weeks ago I was 3/4 of the way to work when my son piped up from the back seat "Where are we going mum?".... oopps.... turned around and took them to childcare. It scared me! Because they could have so easily not said anything. And when I got to work I could have been out of the car in 2 seconds flat without it even occuring to me that I had left them in the car. Yes my mind was on other things, and as much as it sucks I can easily see how this could happen. It's not that I don't think about them, because I constantly do, but we often do things in a routine, without thinking, so sometimes when we miss a step we don't even realise.

I will also put my hand up to leaving the iron on, leaving the oven on, leaving a bath tap running, leaving the front door wide open, forgetting to feed my kids breakfast and a whole list of other things. Because when we do these things we often have a routine we adhere to, so if we do one thing different, we may miss a step.

You sound like me before Attention Deficit Disorder medication. :-D
(Okay, and sometimes after it!)

 

[MREG2]

Well I can admit to not being the perfect mother. I am a single parent to 3 children ages 3,4 and 9. The childcare centre the 2 youngest attend is slap bang in the middle of our house and where I work. About 2 weeks ago I was 3/4 of the way to work when my son piped up from the back seat "Where are we going mum?".... oopps.... turned around and took them to childcare. It scared me! Because they could have so easily not said anything. And when I got to work I could have been out of the car in 2 seconds flat without it even occuring to me that I had left them in the car. Yes my mind was on other things, and as much as it sucks I can easily see how this could happen. It's not that I don't think about them, because I constantly do, but we often do things in a routine, without thinking, so sometimes when we miss a step we don't even realise.

I will also put my hand up to leaving the iron on, leaving the oven on, leaving a bath tap running, leaving the front door wide open, forgetting to feed my kids breakfast and a whole list of other things. Because when we do these things we often have a routine we adhere to, so if we do one thing different, we may miss a step.

(((Aussiemum))) We as parents are not perfect even though we try to be. It's true about the routine. If something happens to our morning routine I'm thrown off. We as parents need the routine...so do children.

I had to laugh about forgetting to feed the kids breakfast. I am constantly forgetting to get them their milk. My oldest (who's 4) will remind me.

As for this woman, I don't know what to think. I could see where it could have been an accident. But I can also see where it could have been intentional. I just don't know... But I will keep all involved in my prayers.

I get overwhelmed at times with 3 that are 4 and under. I will tell my hubby, friends and family that. I pray to God that should anything (God forbid) happen to one of my children those words will not be held over my head....

 

[Nocgirl]

Many women will refuse to give up custody of kids just for selfish reasons. If she could not have handled the child, she should have worked out a more liberal visitation schedule with the Dad so that he can have the child a couple days a week and give her a break. Maricopa County actually offers mediation for low cost, Dad should have just gone to court and filed for a mediation session and asked for more custody.

Sorry but I do not see how you forget a child in a car and FORGET about him for 7 hours. Did she not think of her child at all that day? If she did she would have remembered that she forgot to drop him off at daycare.

I wonder what stupid, petty, insignificant thoughts were passing through her little brain that day so that she did not think of her son at all.

 

[Amraann]

It should be noted that since the father was offering to "take full custody"
He may possibly have an ax to grind.
I am not ready at this point to take what he says at 100% face value above the mother.

 

[NewMom2003]

There seems to be a huge disparity in the ways these types of cases are handled - with people on the lower end of the socio-economic system bearing the harshest punishments.

My prayers for this overwhelmed young mother.

I couldn't agree more. What about the principal awhile back that left her two year old in the car all day. Her priority that day was getting donuts to her co-workers instead of her child. I'm trying to remember all the details about it, but I do remember she wasn't charged. :furious:

 

[Indy Gal]

I have noticed in some of the threads about it here also. It seems to be more "accidental" when the parent/s are middle/upper class, than if a poor single mom does it. I can understand where the mother has NO daycare and takes the baby to work, it's no way accidental the child was left in the car.

Very well said Sadie. Makes me sick I can not even say how I really feel about this person. Sorry but to me she isnt a mother or a woman. MOO

 

[southcitymom]

I guess what really ticks me off: The Father "offered" to take full responsibility and care for the child, but the mother "put her wants" and needs first.

She must have told people she was overwhelmed, that she was stressed, but did she do what was in the best interest of the baby. She "could not stand the thought" of not seeing him everyday that is why the Dad did not "get full custody" even though he offered. Well look at how this ended up.

Again, yet another case of a child paying with their life, because of a a parents "mistake".

Quite frankly, when I had a child the age of her child, I told people I was overwhelmed and stressed because I was (some days I still am).....but I didn't want to give my child up either. I can relate to this young mothers conflicting feelings.

 

[southcitymom]

I couldn't agree more. What about the principal awhile back that left her two year old in the car all day. Her priority that day was getting donuts to her co-workers instead of her child. I'm trying to remember all the details about it, but I do remember she wasn't charged. :furious:

There are very few cases I read about like this where I don't feel sympathy for the parents, but in that case with the school teacher and the donuts, I thought something was fishy with that woman - something stunk to high heaven there.