Ruby, in the US VAWA doesn't go far enough to help stabilize the lives of the women and children who escape. The onus is mostly on volunteers, churches and local/state agencies. Not surprising because we can't even get the ERA passed. The current economic state doesn't help for those who need to get away.
I keep wondering what the catalyst was that set Susan's disappearance in motion. I don't believe she left on her own.
I lived in the state of Tennessee for nine years and DV is not taken seriously, at least in the area I lived. A woman down the road from me, that I got to know through my daughter hanging out with hers, was involved in a verbal DV situation. One night her husband smashed all kinds of things in the house and told her the only way she would move back to CA, where she was originally from, was in a box. The good ole boys network referred to it as a he said she said situation. There were no witnesses to the threat. Most of the time there isn't a witness because the guy is a coward, he will confront women and children but would never stand up to another man.
One of the differences here in Ontario is the police will lay the charges, therefore making it impossible for the woman to change her mind. Though it is by far not a perfect system here as poverty is the biggest economic factor.
I have met a woman through the food bank here. She comes in about every other month so I have gotten to know her. She left an abusive relationship about eight months ago. Lives in a basement apartment with her two daughters. She told me within the first week of her leaving, her husband had her cell phone shut off and her cancelled on the car insurance policy.
She had been a stay at home Mom but the utilities were all in her husbands name, the cell and even the car insurance. He had the credit card with a secondary card for her. If she can come up with twenty thousand dollars she can buy him out of the equity in their home and move back to it. That isn't going to happen. She doesn't have a credit or work history. She has a lawyer through legal aid, he pays for his lawyer. We gave her numbers for housing geared towards her income. There is a two year waiting list. It is ridiculous. Her 14 year old daughter wants to go live with the Dad in the nice house in a good neighborhood versus the apartment in a dumpy neighborhood.
There are just so many factors when a woman leaves. Susan had a job, yet something was holding her back. I don't think she even realized the danger she was in. Most women in an abusive situation, if you asked them if their spouse would kill them, they will say he isn't that bad.
You wonder what the catalyst was that night? From what we have heard when J.O. was there it appears J.P. was very attentive. Making supper and getting Susan a blanket when she felt cold. J.P. then takes the boys sledding so Susan can rest. I think he possibly wanted intimacy that night, so played the good husband during the day. In my opinion I think Susan refused to have intimacy with him that night. An argument escalated, abusers do not like to be told no. I think the car alarm going off around 11pm for I think about two minutes was actually Susan pushing the panic button on it. I believe at that point she was either killed or rendered unconscious. Somehow the wet spot in the livingroom is connected and whatever happened to her happened there.
In one of his interviews, I think the blue beanie cap one, he said something similar to " I just have to get my boy's ". That spoke volumes to me. I knew right then Susan was gone and wasn't coming back. All his subsequent actions since Susan was reported missing have pretty much sealed, how I have felt.
I hope Susan is found because she will be able to tell her story through forensics. I also do not believe he went that far to dispose of her. Too much risk involved. I do believe justice will eventually be served and the boys will be raised by Susan's family. moo
