CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #15

[gngr~snap]

If the visitation is court ordered, and you don't abide by those orders, you can be arrested for not complying. My daughters were ordered to visit Dad on weekends for years. When I contested the visits out of fear of my ex, because he threatened my life, I was told that until something actually happens to one of the kids or myself, nothing could be done. The visits would hold. My kids continued visits, but would occassionally call Dad and tell them they were sick to get out of going.
Let me add that my kids kept in constant contact with me, as long as Dad wasn't watching them.
My kids texted and IM'd me almost around the clock when they were with Dad on the weekends. So Dylans phone use ending on that Sunday night speaks volumes to me.
In this day and age, kids don't turn off their phones/computers. Maybe he'd turn it off in front of Dad, like my kids did, but once Dad turned around they'd have those babies right back up.

Abiding Court Ordered Visitation

All that ringing in my head is
Josh Powell...

So sad! I hope Dylan is found alive and well SOON

 

[Darcyline]

I am surprised by the amount of people who say that he shouldn't have been forced to go because he didn't want to. I am wondering if those people have teenagers/kids? My brother and I would whine and moan and sulk whenever our parents made us leave for anything-to visit our grandparents, to go to Florida for a family vacation, etc. But, we always ended up having fun and now that I am older being "forced" is one of the best things that could have happened to me. This is especially important in custody agreements where I feel the best policy is almost always to maintain a relationship between the child and both parents. Severing a parental relationship because a teenager "didn't wanna" go is silly to me.
The almost is important though-I take all of this back if MR was seriously abusive. I don't think we will or would know that without having a peak into the sealed records though.

 

[ICUDOUCME]

I want to know if ER paid for the flight to MR....and if it was court ordered...not really do to DR missing, but I think if that is the case, then CO needs to look at there state law concerning this, I don't think it is fair that mom paid for a trip to send her son somewhere when he for whatever reason was unsafe....Parent they go to visit should be responsiable for trip TO there home, and the parent wanting them home should be paying for trip home. I think that should be law everywhere...cuz could you imagine if you sent your child on a plane and they were killed by other parent(not saying this is the case here)....a law requiring this to be addressed could keep this type of stuff from happening(cuz many people are motivated by the use of money)and if they had to pay for the trip it may never happen!

 

[SCHMAE]

I want to know if ER paid for the flight to MR....and if it was court ordered...not really do to DR missing, but I think if that is the case, then CO needs to look at there state law concerning this, I don't think it is fair that mom paid for a trip to send her son somewhere when he for whatever reason was unsafe....Parent they go to visit should be responsiable for trip TO there home, and the parent wanting them home should be paying for trip home. I think that should be law everywhere...cuz could you imagine if you sent your child on a plane and they were killed by other parent(not saying this is the case here)....a law requiring this to be addressed could keep this type of stuff from happening(cuz many people are motivated by the use of money)and if they had to pay for the trip it may never happen!

But,,,,,,, unless MR is guilty of something here, then dad's home is no more safe or unsafe than mom's home. So she couldn't have known before sending him. Also I think it is common when 2 parents live in same community and one moves far away, far enough to require flights back and forth, that the MOVING parent is responsible for those fees. Because MR could not cause, prevent or create the CHANGE requiring a flight now, how could MR be responsible for the fees? I don't know how it works to be honest, but safe or unsafe is an unknown at ANY house prior to something horrible happening. An exception would be long history of abuse which does not seem to have been proven here.

 

[TxJan1971]

I thought he has settled and was happy in his new home and he is 13 so it would not of taken him long to make new friends IMO !

Has there been anything to say that Dylan was unhappy in his new home and location ??

The Lewis-Palmer Middle School student was described by friends and family as an energetic and outgoing boy, who was able to build a solid group of friends in the area even though he and his mother had only moved to town a few months ago.

Zack Stowell, 14, was a classmate of Dylan’s. When asked about Dylan, Stowell said with a small grin that Dylan was popular in a lot of circles, and was one of the kids who could always nail “the popular kids in gym class, when we were playing dodgeball.”

“He’s one of those kids who was good at everything,” Stowell said.


http://www.gazette.com/articles/boy-148009-friends-ago.html

 

[ICUDOUCME]

But,,,,,,, unless MR is guilty of something here, then dad's home is no more safe or unsafe than mom's home. So she couldn't have known before sending him. Also I think it is common when 2 parents live in same community and one moves far away, far enough to require flights back and forth, that the MOVING parent is responsible for those fees. Because MR could not cause, prevent or create the CHANGE requiring a flight now, how could MR be responsible for the fees? I don't know how it works to be honest, but safe or unsafe is an unknown at ANY house prior to something horrible happening. An exception would be long history of abuse which does not seem to have been proven here.

I can understand your way of thinking(and as I said I am not saying this happened here)...it's kinda off topic, but not...My child custody requires me to pay for half way(weather it is to, or from, or meet half way). Even if ER moved and it was on her, I don't know if CO laws require one or the other or as you stated ER to pay for it. I'm saying (as with this case everything is what if)if the laws are to make them split this (he one way her another), the laws should be more specific to address that the parent receiving should pay for the trip to them.

 

[Donjeta]

If the sharing of the costs of visitations not determined on a case by case basis many perfectly good parents could end up rarely being able to afford seeing their children if they're on a small income and the other parent decides to move far away. Most parents are not killers.

I think it would probably be more effective prevention to try to weed out those abusive parents so they don't get visitation in the first place or if they do it'll be supervised at least. (Although supervised visits have been a sad failure in a few recent cases...Josh Powell... the mom who drowned her kids during a visit supervised by granny...people who abscond with their kids during supposedly supervised visits...)

 

[TxLady2]

If you don't follow court order, you can lose custody all together.

Maybe, but many people have done so, and did not lose custody, I know that for a fact. Might be because the other parent didn't push it, who knows? But it has happened.

I think people are making way too much of this custody/visitation thing, and I don't think it was some judge sitting up there ordering that Dylan go to visit his dad, with Dylan kicking and screaming the whole way. JMO. If he did not want to go, and if Mom believed his dad would abuse him in some way, or want to get rid of him entirely, she should have told the judge that, and I bet a caring judge would not have ordered him to go. Unless he believed she was making it up and just trying to keep his dad from seeing him. Which is possible.

 

[Confusion]

I want to know if ER paid for the flight to MR....and if it was court ordered...not really do to DR missing, but I think if that is the case, then CO needs to look at there state law concerning this, I don't think it is fair that mom paid for a trip to send her son somewhere when he for whatever reason was unsafe....Parent they go to visit should be responsiable for trip TO there home, and the parent wanting them home should be paying for trip home. I think that should be law everywhere...cuz could you imagine if you sent your child on a plane and they were killed by other parent(not saying this is the case here)....a law requiring this to be addressed could keep this type of stuff from happening(cuz many people are motivated by the use of money)and if they had to pay for the trip it may never happen!

It sounded like MR paid for the flight both times. He had to make all of the arrangements, and I'm sure we would have heard if she had paid. MOO

 

[Salem]

I find it really hard to believe a Judge would ignore the wishes/wants/complaints of a 13-year old. Not impossible, but hard to believe a judge would force a 13 year old child to go somewhere/visit with someone the child didn't love, like or want to be around at ALL. I'm just not seeing that.

Salem

 

[Salem]

We need a new thread here. Coming up in just a moment.

Salem

 

[Salem]

Please continue here: CO CO- Dylan Redwine, 13, Vallecito, 19 November 2012 - #16 - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community


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Salem