Father-of-three branded a 'pervert' - for photographing his own children in public pa

[Taximom]

My husband was a soccer coach for our oldest child, and I was always amazed at the parents who just dropped off their kids and never so much as said "hello" to him before they left the field. He was always so afraid when the little kids would run up and hug him. He would try to hold them at arms length, and they would just try to get to him. It was funny in a way, but we were both so afraid that someone would claim abuse. He got into coaching because he enjoyed it and because we wanted at least one parent to be there all of the time. There were years of coaching where we didn't meet parents until the end of the year party.

I see this too in our baseball league. I always wonder what happens if the child gets injured during practice!

 

[T-Rex]

There's a little kid down the street my husband roughhouses with. They're two of a kind, about thirty-five years apart. Any time we're with him, one of his parents is there too. The other night, another neighbor was there with her grandkids. Her little boy jumped into the fray, so Matt included him. Then his big sister, who was about six, joined in, and Matt just kind of froze. I felt so bad, because the girl looked stung with rejection. But he asked me about it afterwards, and I had to agree; she had jumped on him from behind, and, unfortunately, it's not OK for a man to touch a six-year-old girl. Especially when we don't have kids of our own.

 

[Grainne Dhu]

There's a little kid down the street my husband roughhouses with. They're two of a kind, about thirty-five years apart. Any time we're with him, one of his parents is there too. The other night, another neighbor was there with her grandkids. Her little boy jumped into the fray, so Matt included him. Then his big sister, who was about six, joined in, and Matt just kind of froze. I felt so bad, because the girl looked stung with rejection. But he asked me about it afterwards, and I had to agree; she had jumped on him from behind, and, unfortunately, it's not OK for a man to touch a six-year-old girl. Especially when we don't have kids of our own.

That is so sad--for your husband, for that little girl.

One incident probably doesn't make much of a difference in a child's life but I know from my own life that every now and then, one incident makes all the difference, either for good or for bad.

I have to wonder what will happen with little girls that are repeatedly rejected by adult males because they are justifiably paranoid about being accused of being pedophiles. Grow up rejected often enough and what often happens is that the kid seeks out approval as soon as they are old enough to do so.

And people wonder why teenaged girls get pregnant? I know teen pregnancy is a problem with many causes but I wonder if at least some of those girls are seeking out a feeling of being accepted.

 

[Paladin]

Interesting discussion...

I have a story to share. A co-worker of my is a man in his mid 40's and is an amateur photographer. He was on a trip to St. Louis at some sort of museum (by himself) and saw some interactive display where children were climbing on monkey bars.

He started taking photos of a child because it was a genuine unprompted shot of a child in all of his glory having fun. Well...the kid's father saw this, and immediately got in the face of my co-worker. My co-worker explained what he was doing and even offered to delete the photos from his camera but the man was so incensed he contacted museum security and basically my co-worker was followed around the rest of the time he was there.

I tried explaining to my co-worker that however innocent his intentions were, you just don't go around in this day and age photographing other people's children. He didn't quite get it.

 

[Kiki]

There's a little kid down the street my husband roughhouses with. They're two of a kind, about thirty-five years apart. Any time we're with him, one of his parents is there too. The other night, another neighbor was there with her grandkids. Her little boy jumped into the fray, so Matt included him. Then his big sister, who was about six, joined in, and Matt just kind of froze. I felt so bad, because the girl looked stung with rejection. But he asked me about it afterwards, and I had to agree; she had jumped on him from behind, and, unfortunately, it's not OK for a man to touch a six-year-old girl. Especially when we don't have kids of our own.

I very sorry this situation happened with your husband and the little girl, T-Rex. Your husband did the right thing in protecting himself and the little girl from gossip. Maybe next time he sees her he can tell her he was sorry he couldn't let her wrestle with him because boys can be rough and he was worried she would get hurt. Or maybe the neighbour could tell this to her granddaughter. Sexist? Absolutely! But it's better than having a little girl with hurt feelings. At that age rejection can really make an impact on a child's self esteem. Grainne Dhu is certainly right about that. Perhaps next time they could play a game like tag or a sport that doesn't require much physical contact.

I wonder about the mother who had such a strong reaction to Gary Crutchley's picture taking. :camera: Even for the most over-protective of parents this was abnormal. Especially when you consider her overlooking the fact that only the Crutchley children were in the photographs. I suspect she either has a paranoia problem or that either she or her children have been sexually abused and she has become hypervigilant of sexual predators as a result. This was a very sad situation.

 

[Grainne Dhu]

I wonder about the mother who had such a strong reaction to Gary Crutchley's picture taking. :camera: Even for the most over-protective of parents this was abnormal. Especially when you consider her overlooking the fact that only the Crutchley children were in the photographs. I suspect she either has a paranoia problem or that either she or her children have been sexually abused and she has become hypervigilant of sexual predators as a result. This was a very sad situation.

Or she's one of those people who can never admit they're wrong. She went off on him and then when she realised she'd made a mistake, she was embarrassed, didn't know how to back down gracefully so just kept right on being huffy about it.

No matter what the reason, you've gotta feel sorry for her kids--they have to live with her!