Jaycee's Bio dad

[Openmind]

Being 64 and having cancer is just that -- being 64 and having cancer. It does not mean he won't be around long. It does not mean he is dying immediately.

I agree with , eveything he says is about himself and how abused he has been by virtually everyone else -- now, even Jaycee. I don't think anyone has to say much about this guy for Jaycee to see him for what he is. All his actions from before she was born, to the time he knew she was his child and did nothing, to this aggressive demand she must recognize him as her father speaks to his character and motivation. I don't think he cares as much about actually meeting Jaycee anymore as to being able to be at the trial and do commentary.

 

[songline]

You are missing the point of why it is so important to him now. He is 64 and according to this report he has cancer. So this is pretty much the last chance he has to meet her, there isn't time to wait around until she is "ready". If he wants it to happen, he has to pursue it because no one else is going to, and he needs to do it now.

As far as Jaycee knows he wasn't "interested" in her. And how would she know this? It wasn't from personal experience, obviously someone must have told her that and it shouldn't be a big surprise who that person would be. If you think there is some other way for her to have reached this conclusion, please enlighten us, otherwise the obvious answer would have to prevail.

I don't think Ken has some hidden sinister agenda, he is just out of time and he knows that all the information Jaycee is getting about him is going to be distorted. If he wants her to know that he cares the only way to do that is to be very public about it and hope that someday she discovers that herself, because her maternal family certainly isnt going to tell her. If he just keeps his peace and quietly dies like you all want him to she will never know how he feels. This way there is no doubt.

You are right, he can't force Jaycee to do anything. But on the other hand she is never going to be able to say she didn't know either because it is all out in public.

hmmm :waitasec: will I ever read a post where you are NOT opposing, not playing devils advocate ???
I dont know how you get to understand this guy so well at all.
I dont know how you dont get to understand Terry :waitasec:
I sure dont know why you cant see that he has an agenda.
He has cancer and I hope it goes in remission, but he does not have JC and that was his own doing,
as was hiring the attorney he hired which tell it pretty much as it is, where there is love there is no
need for a Gloria barracuda, :no: :no: :no: and not seeing JC is her right and her adult choice.
It Would have been my choice too.

 

[songline]

the cancer card was a cry for sympathy from the public. like its jaycees fault or concern that he has it.

i would hope jaycee's real family would move to have him banned dna or not. dna does not mean family when you arent there for 30 years.

I agree, I also think it was a strategic move to gain sympathy.
What was the strategy behind Gloria the barracuda? That along with 30 years of not giving a chit,
till he can pilfer something that he can sell- is all telling. He makes me sick.

 

[Grumpy]

Allred says Slayton needs to establish legal paternity so he can have a reserved seat at the Garrido's trial. Does anyone know if Jaycee has any say over which of her relatives get a seat at the trial - legal or otherwise?

 

[jazerelle]

I will see if I can find out if family have reserved seating. Seems even if they did it would be limited. Also seems to me that Slayton would not have the right to bring in his attorney since he actually has nothing to do with the trial but acting like some sort of support (in his mind anyway) and that attorney is actually representing him against someone actually involved in the trial. Does that make sense. Probably not. But I will see if I can find out seating arrangements.

 

[kbl8201]

while your at it jazz, try to find out under what california law he can force a 30 year old daughter to take a paternity test.

cause the reasoning they are giving makes no sense.

 

[jazerelle]

I will add it to the list. I have already done a little research regarding the sitting arrangements and it appears that victims (if allowed to be present) may have support people with them, but these support persons are people the victim knows and trust and help the victim through the process (based on this Slayton does not qualify). However, it appears that victims and/or family may be told not to be present if they are also a witness in some way. My research has just started so take all above as NOT set in stone. It looks like it going to be case law vs. state code. I will keep looking.

 

[kbl8201]

well under that carl might not allowed to be present since he is obviously a key witness.
then again he might allowed to be present after he testifies.

jaycee obviously would not want sleyton there dna or no dna.

 

[jazerelle]

That is what I was thinking. Ok did some fast DNA searches which is not easy because every time you mention father and dna it is about father's rights and support payments.
Anyway Proposition 69 passed about forcing crime suspects to give DNA. This proposition is being apposed by a bunch of civil rights advocates who mention the constitutions 5th amendment, I guess the right not to testify against yourself.

Jaycee and her mom are not asking anything from Slayton so he is not defending himself against anything. From my brief research I do not believe he can force her to give DNA because it would be a violation of her rights under the constitution. Once again it only shows Slayton is after something. Interesting in my research supposed fathers cannot be forced to give their dna to prove if they are in fact fathers. Males usually do it to prove they are not fathers to get out of responsibilities. It gets sort of complicated. Anyway again I think No she cannot be made to give up her DNA. I will continue to do some research but have to get back to work. Take care.

 

[kbl8201]

thanks jazz.

if thats true i have no idea why there wasting there time. maybe they think jaycee's is ignorant of her rights in this matter.

 

[Natal]

hmmm :waitasec: will I ever read a post where you are NOT opposing, not playing devils advocate ???
I dont know how you get to understand this guy so well at all.
I dont know how you dont get to understand Terry :waitasec:
I sure dont know why you cant see that he has an agenda.
He has cancer and I hope it goes in remission, but he does not have JC and that was his own doing,
as was hiring the attorney he hired which tell it pretty much as it is, where there is love there is no
need for a Gloria barracuda, :no: :no: :no: and not seeing JC is her right and her adult choice.
It Would have been my choice too.

I can see things from both his perspective and from Terry's perspective thank you, you are the one who can't see things from both sides. Ken has regrets and Terry is bitter. I get that.

I do agree with you on one thing, that he has an agenda. That agenda being to meet his daughter. Not such a wierd agenda for a parent IMO, but possibly you think differently about that

This isn't about taking sides, and I'm not going to do that, it is about expecting people to do the right thing.

The person who is going to suffer the most in all of this is Jaycee, because she is being forced to take sides. In the short term she will have to side with her mother because of loyalty and because she is dependent on her, but in the long term, when Ken is gone, not taking the time to meet him when she had the chance is going to be a regret that will haunt her for the rest of her life. And it is not only Ken, in later life her siblings are not going to be too thrilled with her if their father dies with a broken heart because of her. That is just how it is. She may be adult, and can make decisions herself, but IMO she is getting bad advice from the people around her.

Actually, taking the time to find out for herself would probably be the most adult thing she has ever done in her life, but maybe she isn't ready to be an adult yet, I don't know.

Re: Gloria. If Ken wanted her to know how he felt about Jaycee, how would you propose he do it? He can't call her up, she has no known phone number, he can't write to her, he doesn't know her address and if he writes through her attorneys the mail is returned unopened. He doesnt know where she lives so he can't show up at the door. How can she make any reasoned decision, adult or not, if she doesnt talk to him, see him or read his letters? The only other source of information about him and his interest in her is from her mother, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what Terry probably thinks.

While you may not like Gloria, hiring her was the best thing he could have done. Because of the publicity, even if his attempts to communicate with Jaycee are filtered out by her minders, she will eventually know how he felt. If you read the press release put out by her family, they made great pains to point out all the times he supposedly didn't care, but their beef now is that he now does care, and they want him to stop doing that. If he didnt care he would have gone "oh well" and gone on with his life, but he isn't doing that. They don't want him in her life at all, and if they can tell her "he never cared, even after you came back" without any contradiction then that is what would happen. That is the great shame and sadness about this story.

 

[Natal]

That is what I was thinking. Ok did some fast DNA searches which is not easy because every time you mention father and dna it is about father's rights and support payments.
Anyway Proposition 69 passed about forcing crime suspects to give DNA. This proposition is being apposed by a bunch of civil rights advocates who mention the constitutions 5th amendment, I guess the right not to testify against yourself.

Jaycee and her mom are not asking anything from Slayton so he is not defending himself against anything. From my brief research I do not believe he can force her to give DNA because it would be a violation of her rights under the constitution. Once again it only shows Slayton is after something. Interesting in my research supposed fathers cannot be forced to give their dna to prove if they are in fact fathers. Males usually do it to prove they are not fathers to get out of responsibilities. It gets sort of complicated. Anyway again I think No she cannot be made to give up her DNA. I will continue to do some research but have to get back to work. Take care.

It isn't necessary because both Ken and Terry say that he is the father. Not that should surprise anyone since Ken and Jaycee look alike anyway.

The main purpose of all of this IMO is to make sure Jaycee knows who he is and his feelings for her. He can't do much more than that, and she would have to take the next step.

 

[Natal]

Jaycee could watch Slayton's 2 press conferences. They're both available on youtube.com. He was a 35 year old man with 2 children who had a brief affair with a 21 year old girl. She told him she was pregnant. It is not hard to guess how that conversation went. I'm guessing he told her to get an abortion which is why he says he didn't know she actually had Jaycee until some friend told him. He "says" Terry didn't want him in her life. I don't blame her, he's a loser. Maybe it only took her a month to figure that out, but he had an obligation to Jaycee and he should have pressed for paternity THEN not now.

Only is she knew they existed, and in a few years they won't be readily available to the public. With the legal stuff that is going on she would have to know about him now, so that objective would have been achieved.

As for what happened 30 years ago, apparently she told him she was pregnant, then she dissappeared and a mutual friend told him she had a daughter. In the 80s there was no internet and databases were all paper, so finding someone would have been extremely difficult for the average person, especially if they didn't have an own address and lived with someone else (then it would have been virtually impossible). So his story is quite plausible.

Nowdays with the internet and most databases online in some form it is much easier to track someone down.

 

[songline]

I can see things from both his perspective and from Terry's perspective thank you, you are the one who can't see things from both sides. Ken has regrets and Terry is bitter. I get that.

I do agree with you on one thing, that he has an agenda. That agenda being to meet his daughter. Not such a wierd agenda for a parent IMO, but possibly you think differently about that

This isn't about taking sides, and I'm not going to do that, it is about expecting people to do the right thing.

The person who is going to suffer the most in all of this is Jaycee, because she is being forced to take sides. In the short term she will have to side with her mother because of loyalty and because she is dependent on her, but in the long term, when Ken is gone, not taking the time to meet him when she had the chance is going to be a regret that will haunt her for the rest of her life. And it is not only Ken, in later life her siblings are not going to be too thrilled with her if their father dies with a broken heart because of her. That is just how it is. She may be adult, and can make decisions herself, but IMO she is getting bad advice from the people around her.

Actually, taking the time to find out for herself would probably be the most adult thing she has ever done in her life, but maybe she isn't ready to be an adult yet, I don't know.

Re: Gloria. If Ken wanted her to know how he felt about Jaycee, how would you propose he do it? He can't call her up, she has no known phone number, he can't write to her, he doesn't know her address and if he writes through her attorneys the mail is returned unopened. He doesnt know where she lives so he can't show up at the door. How can she make any reasoned decision, adult or not, if she doesnt talk to him, see him or read his letters? The only other source of information about him and his interest in her is from her mother, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what Terry probably thinks.

While you may not like Gloria, hiring her was the best thing he could have done. Because of the publicity, even if his attempts to communicate with Jaycee are filtered out by her minders, she will eventually know how he felt. If you read the press release put out by her family, they made great pains to point out all the times he supposedly didn't care, but their beef now is that he now does care, and they want him to stop doing that. If he didnt care he would have gone "oh well" and gone on with his life, but he isn't doing that. They don't want him in her life at all, and if they can tell her "he never cared, even after you came back" without any contradiction then that is what would happen. That is the great shame and sadness about this story.

:waitasec: TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH ALL OF THIS.

Go ahead and Assume his view as regret. NOT regret at all.
Love does not look like that at all.
BASSED ON WHAT HE HAS DISPLAYED
he has an agenda that is self serving
has nothing to do with JCs well being at all.

 

[Openmind]

Ever heard the expression too little, too late. When Jaycee and Terry could have used his help, Ken was AWOL from the scene. Odd how devoted he has become since she became famous -- something Jaycee and Terry never wanted and work mightily to avoid.

I don't think Terry is bitter at all that Slayton decided to have no part in Jaycee's life before her kidnapping. If she had wanted his help prior to that time, she had the ability to get it, but she didn't. I imagine she would have taken anyone's help when Jaycee was kidnapped because she was absolutely desperate to recover her child. She is no longer desperate and sure does not need Slayton's help now. There are no grounds to imply she is bitter except Slayton's assertion of such since she did not open her arms to him for a family reunion. He was not there before or during Jaycee's kidnapping, so why should he think he can be a part of Jaycee's life just because HE wants to now.

Since this is a one sided event, with Slayton working overtime to assert his parental rights, there is not enough information to know how Jaycee, Terry, or any of her family feels about Slayton except what HE has said and implies. Unfair to judge Terry when we don't know for a fact what she thinks about any of this. On the issue of privacy, Jaycee's family has been very consistent to everyone, leave us alone. He is a stranger to them, by his previous choice, and they have no way of knowing his true character or motivation. The strong arm methods Slayton is using do nothing to build trust. He comes across as selfish and self-serving.

People have cancer, are cured, and survive for years. I am sorry he has cancer but there is no reason to assume he is at risk of an imminent death.

 

[Grumpy]

Jaycee is not being held captive by her family. She can watch tv, read newspapers and go on the internet. She has been advised not to read about the case, but Slayton pressing for legal paternity isn't part of the case. I imagine Slayton's bumbling excuses about why he couldn't/wouldn't/didn't find her for the first 11 years of her life are met with the same derision in the Probyn/Dugard house as they are here.

 

[jazerelle]

If Jaycee does not want to meet the man that is her right. He originally said he wanted nothing from her now he is demanding a piece of her literally. He hired that attorney less than a month after Jaycee was found. So why is the DNA so important? He says he and his family loves her (hard to do since they never met her). So what if the DNA does not match? What happens to this statement of love. It will get dumped into the trash with the dna announcement, probably followed by another statement from Ken stating he knew Terry was a (whatever term of endearment he called her when he first learned she was pregnant). He made his bed 31 years ago (30 plus the nine months of pregnancy less the month to learn she was pregnant). He could have found her. Sure no internet but phone books have a whole lot of information back then before the time of blocked phone numbers.

He has a rapest mentality with that statement about doing what he wants no matter what she wants. Isn't that why the Garridos are now in jail awaiting trial. His recent actions have fully shown what sort of being he is. No means No. She said NO so he just needs to GO.

 

[kbl8201]

if i was carl i'd want to deck this guy, seriously.

this guy went thru nothing compared to the rest of the family. and now he wants to play daddy and gramps to 3 people dont know him, and interject himself into a family that wants nothing to do with him.

what gives him the right? for 30 years he couldnt care less if jaycee was alive or not, before or during her kidnapping. now he sees dollar signs or a chance to save his pathetic soul for what he did to her and he thinks he can 'endear' himself to her by harrasing her, insulting her mom, and stalking her family.

way to go ken, your almost as low and pathetic as garrido.

 

[kbl8201]

If Jaycee does not want to meet the man that is her right. He originally said he wanted nothing from her now he is demanding a piece of her literally. He hired that attorney less than a month after Jaycee was found. So why is the DNA so important? He says he and his family loves her (hard to do since they never met her). So what if the DNA does not match? What happens to this statement of love. It will get dumped into the trash with the dna announcement, probably followed by another statement from Ken stating he knew Terry was a (whatever term of endearment he called her when he first learned she was pregnant). He made his bed 31 years ago (30 plus the nine months of pregnancy less the month to learn she was pregnant). He could have found her. Sure no internet but phone books have a whole lot of information back then before the time of blocked phone numbers.

He has a rapest mentality with that statement about doing what he wants no matter what she wants. Isn't that why the Garridos are now in jail awaiting trial. His recent actions have fully shown what sort of being he is. No means No. She said NO so he just needs to GO.

ironically the garridos and there lawyers finally got the point once she was granted protection orders against them.

maybe jaycee should consider the same with these vipers.

 

[jazerelle]

• I get that Ken wants what Ken wants because Ken wants it for Ken.
• I get that Ken knows that Jaycee says she doesn't want what he wants, but he doesn't care.
• I don't get why anyone would approve of what he's doing
• What he is doing does not fit my definition of love for Jaycee

Love your entire quote but decided only to copy that fantastic summary.

Good one.