Found Deceased NY - Jennifer Ramsaran, 36, Chenango County, 11 Dec 2012 - # 2

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I don't know. Do depressed wives purchase brand-new clothing just for themselves?

I don't know. Do depressed wives begin dressing up every time they leave the house?

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...However, he did say her depressed mental state may turn out to be a factor in her disappearance.

“That is definitely one of the scenarios,” he said.

http://thedailystar.com/localnews/x1525009601/Missing-womans-husband-speaks
 
In reference to my "Just say it" comment: I can see where this wouldn't be advised as it may cause less public concern and/or urgency to find a missing person but IMO it would be less confusing that what we are hearing. I'd also hate to think there are any young loved ones reading or seeing those interviews and hearing some of the comments made. (sorry if this is out of line, trying to word it sensitively, please edit if need be)

As far as the other comments about losing weight and gaining confidence, I totally agree, when I'm feeling good about myself it shows, my husband notices and our relationship is better for it.
 
epiphany said:
Personally, I do not think there was any overt bullying. If any, subtle and covert and private insinuations to her, a gradual chipping away at her self-esteem-particularly centered around her weight issues.
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To be fair, I have never observed anything but a loving and affectionate couple when together with never a sign of any bullying. In addition, both parents dote heavily on the children.

However, I cannot speak to particular behaviors that may have occured in private and choose not to speculate....
 
rickblaine said:
To be fair, I have never observed anything but a loving and affectionate couple when together with never a sign of any bullying. In addition, both parents dote heavily on the children.

However, I cannot speak to particular behaviors that may have occured in private and choose not to speculate....
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Lol, jumping off of your post: it's called "faking the funk". I think just about every couple and/or parent does it. My husband could be irking my nerves to no end, my kids could have just brought home all F's and be officially grounded for life, but if someone comes to that door you best believe they will never know unless I tell them. I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with it, so long as you have a healthy relationship.
My husband used to get on to me for "front streeting" our business (aka, man bashing with the friends). And I quickly learned that he was right, some people will take one small argument and spread it like you're going through a nasty divorce. It's also often seen as an open invitation by unwanted "third parties" lol.
 
epiphany said:
I don't know. Do depressed wives purchase brand-new clothing just for themselves?

I don't know. Do depressed wives begin dressing up every time they leave the house?

Snipped

...However, he did say her depressed mental state may turn out to be a factor in her disappearance.

“That is definitely one of the scenarios,” he said.

http://thedailystar.com/localnews/x1525009601/Missing-womans-husband-speaks
Click to expand...


agreed epiphany!
do depressed wives leave their homes unless they absolutely have to?
do depressed wives drive farther than needed to buy clothing?

I battle depression & when i've been in that "depressed mental state" myself... the answer would of always been a big fat NO.
 
Rick Blaine -

I know that you know Jennifer personally.

What would be your thoughts as to where she is? I believe you posted last night that she would never leave her children.

Do you think she met with foul play and was abducted?


And anything you want to tell us about JR would be awesome - what's her personality like? Do you know her to be a depressed person?
 
MissieMt said:
Lol, jumping off of your post: it's called "faking the funk". I think just about every couple and/or parent does it. My husband could be irking my nerves to no end, my kids could have just brought home all F's and be officially grounded for life, but if someone comes to that door you best believe they will never know unless I tell them. I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with it, so long as you have a healthy relationship.
My husband used to get on to me for "front streeting" our business (aka, man bashing with the friends). And I quickly learned that he was right, some people will take one small argument and spread it like you're going through a nasty divorce. It's also often seen as an open invitation by unwanted "third parties" lol.
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Hello MissieMt. I'm not certain all couples are equally skilled at "faking the funk".
In fact, I've seen some who don't appear to have that ability at all. :)
Just my observation.
 
MissieMt said:
"started dressing up every time she left home" in my mind that's just kind of a "Duh" thing after a woman loses 20 pounds. It's called confidence, and we gain more with every pound we lose.
On the other hand, I can see why this could be alarming to some men. A woman who has been overweight for many years finally starts losing weight.....some men might wonder "who she is losing it for" because in his mind it obviously isn't him if she's been that way for many years. And with weight loss comes the inevitable new clothing.....some men may wonder "who she is dressing up for", it's obviously not him because she hasn't done it in many years. And with the weight loss and new clothes comes a new hair cut, etc. etc. It just kind of snowballs.
For her, it's all about getting her self confidence back. But to a man, it's all about this imaginary "other" that must be in the picture. They don't realize that the imaginary "other" is just the Jennifer that has always been there, but was always hidden behind self doubt and poor self image.
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And just to go along with this... you know how they say that a cheater always starts accusing their spouse of cheating! Either to deflect blame, or because they figure "hey, I'm doing it, she must be doing it too."
 
rickblaine said:
Hello MissieMt. I'm not certain all couples are equally skilled at "faking the funk".
In fact, I've seen some who don't appear to have that ability at all. :)
Just my observation.
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That is true!! But if there aren't too many problems to begin with, it's not hard.
 
"Whenever there is a big story in the media, look for the story they are trying to distract you from."
 
krey said:
And just to go along with this... you know how they say that a cheater always starts accusing their spouse of cheating! Either to deflect blame, or because they figure "hey, I'm doing it, she must be doing it too."
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Although I've seen cheaters do this, I've also seen people who are not cheating wrongfully accuse their spouse. Sadly, that too can be boiled down to insecurity.
 
OffRoadRunner said:
"Whenever there is a big story in the media, look for the story they are trying to distract you from."
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I've seen this when talking about government/war/political issues/etc. Do you think small town media would follow along with this for a missing person story? Or do you think they just unknowingly provided a distraction?
 
MissieMt said:
I've seen this when talking about government/war/political issues/etc. Do you think small town media would follow along with this for a missing person story? Or do you think they just unknowingly provided a distraction?
Click to expand...

Shouldn't say media.. but person telling the story!!
 
LivingJuicy said:
Rick Blaine -

I know that you know Jennifer personally.

What would be your thoughts as to where she is? I believe you posted last night that she would never leave her children.

Do you think she met with foul play and was abducted?


And anything you want to tell us about JR would be awesome - what's her personality like? Do you know her to be a depressed person?
Click to expand...

Hi Lj - I would like to consider your questions for a bit before I reply. Be back on board likely this evening....
 
MissieMt said:
Although I've seen cheaters do this, I've also seen people who are not cheating wrongfully accuse their spouse. Sadly, that too can be boiled down to insecurity.
Click to expand...

Very true!! But in this case, we know that GR was having an affair with Jennifer's best friend...
 
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