Chicana--I'm not going to disagree with you at all. It's obvious that your experience has been horrid. I honestly do not doubt that for a second. I want to correct one point, though. I've NEVER worked within the system. I work WITH the system. My husband's and my goal was to help kids. Plain and simple. We figured out how to "work" the system (and I don't mean this negatively, at all). I simply mean that we learned to play by the system's rules to achieve our agenda.
For the last 20 years or so, I've spent every second of every day playing nice, covering my butt, being pro-active, having an open door policy (you're a worker and would like to talk to me?--then come on in), keeping meticulous files, logging every single conversation, interaction, and phone call with a worker, child, or involved professional and literally living at meetings with workers, the school, and LE.
This has been my choice. It rarely been pleasant or up-lifting but it was necessary to do the work we chose to do. I sometimes liken it to what teachers must do to stay in the classroom. Our sexual abuse case was a kick in the teeth as it set us back horribly and took precious time away from what we were trying to do--adopt special needs children from the system, get them services, love them to pieces....and see what happened. Any you know what? In spite of the system, in spite of the red tape, we've had some wonderful successes.
The system is flawed....I'll agree with you there. But the system holds to reins to hundreds of thousands of children and I'll do anything, crawl over any hurdle, to get to those children. But I do know the humiliation, the sense of smacking your head on a brick wall, the absolutely unbelievable lack of good common sense that can be prevalent in a government run system. Oh, do I.
I have no doubt that a person pulled into the system by default will not have a good experience. It's not user--parent or child--friendly. It only works for those of us who've been doing this long enough to build alliances and figure out the ropes.
I think we see the same agency through very different eyes. But please don't think that I always agree with them or think that they are always doing their job. Believe me when I say that they've hurt me greatly at times. I see them a bit as I do an ER triage room--there's going to be some miracles and happy endings but there's going to be a lot of broken hearts too.
I wish I could help you in some way. You can always PM me and let me know if there's anything I can do. I really value your input and look forward to your posts.
For the last 20 years or so, I've spent every second of every day playing nice, covering my butt, being pro-active, having an open door policy (you're a worker and would like to talk to me?--then come on in), keeping meticulous files, logging every single conversation, interaction, and phone call with a worker, child, or involved professional and literally living at meetings with workers, the school, and LE.
This has been my choice. It rarely been pleasant or up-lifting but it was necessary to do the work we chose to do. I sometimes liken it to what teachers must do to stay in the classroom. Our sexual abuse case was a kick in the teeth as it set us back horribly and took precious time away from what we were trying to do--adopt special needs children from the system, get them services, love them to pieces....and see what happened. Any you know what? In spite of the system, in spite of the red tape, we've had some wonderful successes.
The system is flawed....I'll agree with you there. But the system holds to reins to hundreds of thousands of children and I'll do anything, crawl over any hurdle, to get to those children. But I do know the humiliation, the sense of smacking your head on a brick wall, the absolutely unbelievable lack of good common sense that can be prevalent in a government run system. Oh, do I.
I have no doubt that a person pulled into the system by default will not have a good experience. It's not user--parent or child--friendly. It only works for those of us who've been doing this long enough to build alliances and figure out the ropes.
I think we see the same agency through very different eyes. But please don't think that I always agree with them or think that they are always doing their job. Believe me when I say that they've hurt me greatly at times. I see them a bit as I do an ER triage room--there's going to be some miracles and happy endings but there's going to be a lot of broken hearts too.
I wish I could help you in some way. You can always PM me and let me know if there's anything I can do. I really value your input and look forward to your posts.