Reference: Typed Letters List ONLY

[Amil]

Just wondering why you didn't sit on the prosecution side?

I don't know - I walked in and tried to find a seat right away.

 

[denjet]

Discovery page 13825
Christmas week '08

I found these cards and such in a book I was reading, and unfortunately I figured --
Finder's Keepers.
Is that wrong? They were in one of the new books on the book cart. (Shrugs) At least now, they're being put to good use.
I've come to realize that I still draw like a 5-year-old unless I have markers or side walk chalk. I know where my talents lay.
Better not open the envelope gave you... It's the closest thing to a present I can give ya. Besides a silly grin
I wonder what the day is going to bring us on Thursday. Any ideas? As long as it's not Mariah Carey, or her stupid "All I Want for Christmas is You" song. Yuck!
I may just breakdown and listen to Christmas music. Surprisingly, I never do. Since (sorry!) this year is so 'unique'. Maybe changing things up a bit might be ... fun?
Did you ever wear or do you wear Christmas PJ's? I do, every year. I miss my jammies What's you fave Christmas memory??? <3 ya!

 

[denjet]

Discovery Pages 13825 to 13827

Hello! Hello! I get so sad when you walk upstairs Yes, I am officially stalker! At least we can finally talk tomorrow. I've missed you. Hints why I've been writing so much... not that I have anything new to report - no news is good news right? I hate sitting on the floor in here, although it's not quite as uncomfortable as hours of sitting on my bed. No matter how much booty one has, on can never have enough to double as a cushion.
So how are ya love? Good, I hope! The clock is ticking and the days are breezing past. I hope you're finding contentment and peace, even though I know you're anxious. I'm right there with ya, but our prayers will prevail, for God has a big and I mean B-I-G plans for you.
I heard our lovely "neighbors" chatting again today...the same lunacy and debauchery as usual. When I heard Pearl, or Karen, or whoever that was claim that they will beg for forgiveness, I almost got excited. But, sadly, the works that followed showed the selfishness behind those words. The saddest part, years ago, I said the same thing! Just goes to show that it's not the giving everything to God and asking forgiveness that's important, it's during the final days, yes, that will probably be enough, but if we change that, we will right?
I really am thankful for this time of growth and reflection, even though I'm not always the best at showing it. I'm always good for a sincere thank you, but I know in my heart that that's not enough. I'm just glad that He knows my heart, even if I can't verbalize what I'm feeling. If only that were true for all men (and women alike) we would have fewer enemies, maybe.
I came to a realization earlier, and I apologize if I talk about this, and you’re also stuck reading it but here goes! You've been blessed with a very powerful gift - for you are able to bare your soul, especially in your writing. I continue to pray that God will give you strength to continue to use that gift and that you may also embrace the many others you have been given . It's funny, the song goes "I get it from my Mama", but really, we get everything from our Daddy!
....we were to share a common but maybe it's best that we were separated. We may never get any sleep otherwise! I’m so jealous of the trouble-makers around us who get into fights constantly, curse each other out, and the officers . They constantly misbehave, yet, they get that constant "comfort" of a "friend". the silver-lining ... Our friendship is Real, and we definitely care about one another. Plus, we know that we are never alone, because we have Him to depend on. How good is our God! He is my Daddy, not just my Lord and my Savior. He is so much more!
I'm going to let myself get caught up in some good ole TV. I need some outside drama to drown out all the chicas around us! Blah!
<3 ya sis! mucho mucho!
Sunday

 

[denjet]

Discovery 13828 to 13829

Hey sis! So I started reading this book, and not even 6 pages in, I got an epiphany. Crazy huh? My book, or my journals (I'm not quite sure what I want to do with them yet), I'm going to label it/them - A Daily Confession or Daily Confessions. The more I've been writing lately, the more it feels like I'm confessing not just my thoughts, but every single emotion that I have inside of me. I'm one of those people, who if I dwell on something I tend not to remember what it is I'm looking for, but in those moments of meditation prayer, or while engulfing myself in yet another piece of literature, it slaps me in the face (usually in the most gentle way) I'm having one of those days where all I want to do is glue my ear plugs to my head, grab any and every snack in sight) and just vege-out. With the constant uproar of "emotions" around us, it's hard not to want to escape into our own safe, little worlds. The more I think about going home, the more I’m comforted. Every day I wonder how God can fill me with such strength to wake up, eat, sleep (soundly), make my bed, read and write in a calm and quiet manner. I'm constantly encouraged by my prayers for you and the fam and for my family. Knowing that our families are continuing to grow no matter the trials in our lives, it's remarkable! To be able to smile every day, and to be able to laugh, even after everything that has happened... how can we not be grateful to the endless love that He has given us? Every single day I pray for the end of this journey, for our miracles, but I've realized something. We're on two journeys at the same time - our growth with Christ, and the true end of our old lives. We have been born again, my sister, and man! Does it feel good! I can't wait for you to go home! Yes, I'll be lonely here without you, but knowing that you're happy suits me just fine! Something that I've been pondering and it's sitting pretty clearly in my mind - I guess my heart finally decided to share.
As long as you are close to my heart, nothing can break that bond, that love. No matter how many miles are between us we can and will overcome anything and everything in our...
Family is Family
Keep Clay close to your heart
Don't ever give up hope!
God's love will get us through it all
His love is unconditional
He feels your pain, your sorrow
For your pain, your sorrow
Is His pain and His sorrow
Your tears are His tears
When you're laughing, He is laughing too.
What comfort! What love!

I love you my friend, my sister
We'll make it through this, and we will achieve greatness for He has given up both a great power and it will not be wasted!
Ciao!

(can you start smuggling me some toilet paper? I hate running out and not having a backup!) Ha Ha!

 

[denjet]

Just a note: These last posts are pages that were out of order and so fell in the discovery page numbers out of order ...

 

[denjet]

Discovery Pages 13818 to 13819
Well, you're watching TV, you lucky, lucky soul! And I'm sitting here by my door ready to scream!! I can't seem to get over the level of immaturity and ignorance that surrounds us at every corner. Give me a break! It's turned into the Loveline in the vents tonight. Seriously? It's talking all my strength not to bang my head against the door frame. Come back sis! My radio isn't pulling its weight as of late. How depressing! I just can't seem to listen for too long, without the yelling and squaking and silliness escalating above any normal level. Dogs would hide with their tales between their legs after listening to all of this garbage at such ridiculous frequencies! Blah!
How badly do you think I'd have to beg to get moved, or better yet, for us to be roomies? Granted that might not work while were here... You and I, sharing two drawers? No way Jose! HaHa! Now, when we get our place we both shall have disgusting big closets, and tow very glorious bathrooms and the finishing touch... the kitchen of all kitchens. Deal? Man! It's not even two yet but the annoying off key singing, and over-the-top cursing is never-ending, or so it seems. Whose idea, whose bright idea was it to partner all of the loud-mouths up together? (And Pearl is dropping the N-word!) Ew! Make it stop! Please God, make it stop! I'm going to stop complaining, and patiently await your return. Hurry up already (Just kidding!) I hope you get used to spending little time in this crap-hole, because girl, you're going home!
I'll see you soon! <3 ya

(after reading your letter, (Friday night-same night) I couldn't help but chuckle. We were both up snacking at all hours of the night! Silly! )

 

[denjet]

Pages 13756 to 13757
(Written by a silly friend)
A Accepts you as you are
B Believes in you
C Calls you just to say HI
D Doesn't give up on you
E Envisions the whole of you
F Forgives your mistakes
G Gives Unconditionally
H Helps you
I Invites you over
J Just likes to be with you
K Keeps you close at heart <3
L Loves you for who you are
M Makes a difference in your life
N Never judges you
O Offers support
P Picks you up when you're down
Q Quiets your tears
R Respects you
S Says nice things about you
T Tells you the truth when you need to hear it
U Understands you
V Values you
W Walks beside you
X (E)xplains things you don't understand
Y Yells when you need to listen
Z Zaps you back to reality

Page 13757
Hymn(s) for all professions:
(1) Dentist's Hymn: Crown Him With Many Crowns
(2) Weatherman's Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
(3) Contractor's Hymn: The Church's One Foundation
(4) Tailor's Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy
(5) Golfer's Hymn: There's a Green Hill Far Away
(6) Politician's Hymn: Standing on The Promises
(7) Optometrist's Hymn: Open My Eyes That I Might See
(8) IRS Agent's Hymn: I Surrender All
(9) Gossip's Hymn: Pass It On
(10) Electrician's Hymn: Send The Light
(11) Shopper's Hymn: Sweet By and By
(12) Realtor's Hymn: I've Got a Mansion, Just Over The Hilltop
(13) Massage Therapist's Hymn: He Touched Me
(14) Doctor's Hymn: The Great Physician

 

[denjet]

Page 13758
One thing I desparately need right now is piece of mind. It may have started out as nothing, but it's now a big something. That's been weighing heavily on my mind the last few days, and with everything else, I'm spent. I know you could read it on my face tonight. I need to go home for a million reasons, but now for my health. Lovely
I don't want you to worry, but I really do value your friendship, and I need a little extra encouragement. I hate to ask for help, but God knocked my *advertiser censored* off of my pedistal a long time ago, and I'm a better person because of. I prayed about it, and I know that telling you is a good idea. God works in mysterious ways! I'm OK .. I'm a fighter and I always will be! <3

 

[denjet]

Pages 13760 to 13765

Hello friend! How goes it? So, I'm an idiot. I flushed my response to your last note, by accident. That's what I get for not paying attention! I don't know if you've heard the news but there have been big breaks in my case, falling heavily on my side. I've been praying for a miracle, and slowly but surely God is working his magic. I how you're able to keep your spirits up, and that you're not focusing on the negative. It's hard, but I know you're a tough cookie. I hope your family is doing well. I know how much you miss them. Unfortunately, we can understand what each other is going through, in more ways than one, but, that's all for the better! God places people in our lives at certain times, and he never seizes to amaze me. Good people always come knocking at your door when you need a shoulder to lean on or a helping hand. I'm so thankful for your encouragement, and am so blessed to have met you. Stupid dorm rooms from hell!! That's the reference I've used to describe our "Living situation", to my folks, attorneys, even my pastor. Everyone got a good laugh out of it, especially me. As far as picking the restaurant, it's all you! I can always make do with a salad or steak. They always sell other stuff at seafood places for those such as myself. For a while there I thought I had an allergy to shell fish (not good). I kept getting sick whenever I tried anything and a few times, I swelled up like a balloon. Finally, I gave up. I never really liked it anyway. No biggie. I'll stick to my land critters. I have Pens!!

I was super excited to get my munchies and extra socks this morning. Too bad they are still out of thermals. Boo. Maybe next week with my socks, I'm pretty warm 90% of the time anyway, so I can't complain. Oh! And I'm no longer on Psych Obs. With the change in the media, and my constant composure, they couldn't see any reason to keep watching me like a 5-year old with paste. I've been able to keep my break-downs private, or at least, mostly private. Once the flood gates open, it's impossible to get them to stop. We all deal with things differently, and hun, if you have to cry, Do Work! I’m proud of you for being able to do so. I couldn't help ...We'll be with our families soon. Especially our kids. Praying for a miracle!
It's either when making calls or during visits with my parents and brother.
Stay strong and stay encouraged. They may be watching us, but we find ways to make it work. Let's continue to pray for our privacy and success.
I'm praying for a miracle for you and your family. You're good people, and you more than deserve it.
Always smile, and don't forget to flush (I think that's something I said to my daughter once, during potty-training HaHa!)

 

[denjet]

--Discovery Pages 13745 to 13746
Some Fun Facts:
(1) I'm sure you're familiar with Jason Miraz, well ... interestingly enough his very first song that he ever wrote was about a Wig. Guess what it was titled?? "A Big Wig" So silly!
(2) It took me almost 20 minutes to pluck my eyebrows the other night, and dude, it hurt so bad! At least I look a little more human now.
(3) I don't smoke, but I'd give my left kidney for a pack of cigarettes... seriously...it'd be something to do. Plus, I'd rather poison myself that way rather than with the food here. Ugh!
(4) As far as my "ex-fiance", ha! long story. His Dad didn't like me at all. He never trusted me because I'm 3 years younger than his son and I was a single Mom at 19. Like I was the first 19-year-old to have a child out of wed-lock. Give me a break. The whole family is very "Righteous" in a scary way. His Dad performs "exorcisms" ... yeah. I have my faith, as you know, but to them, honestly, if you aren't a self-righteous christian, you basically have the devil in your pocket. Anyway, I wasn't in love with Jesse and he was in love with my daughter. Not my idea of a happy marriage.

Page 13747
--Love is the art of hearts, and heart of arts - Philip James Bailey
--There is no greater invitation to love than loving first - St. Augustine
--What's so remarkable about "love at first sight"? What is truly remarkable is when people who have been looking at each other for years enjoy an ever deepening expression of their love for each other - Sam Levinson
--I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when not feeling it. I believe in God even when God is silent - Transcription on the wall of a Jewish hideout, Cologne, Germany - World War II

 

[denjet]

Pages 13766 to 13767

Random Quotes .. yeah ... I'm always good fo something * Random*

" I long for the day of judgement when the plot lines of our lives will be neatly tied, and all puzzles explained and the meaning of events clear. We take to fiction, I suppose, because no such thing is going to happen, and at least on the printed page we can observe beginnings, middles, and ends, and can find out where morality resides. Real life tends to fade out into entropy, all all loose ends, and grief for what should have been, could have been, had things turned out just a little differently. Yet probably the life that was lived was the best that could be done even, to the outsider, better than could have been expected."
"There seems to be a general overall pattern in most lives, that nothing happens, and nothing happens and then all of a sudden everything happens. You are swimming out at sea, you're rocking gently int he wake of a wave, all seems tranquil, but water is mainting beneath you, unstoppable, and suddenly you are the wave breaking and crashing, sucking back into a maelstrom and then all is tranquil again."
"Hypnotize 'em and hook 'em.. That's how you do it ladies. It's all feel. and be patient. Don't yank too quickly or he'll get away. Let him run a little till he's out of breath. Then you've got him. Catch him first - you can always throw him back"
(too bad I didn't get this advice until now... the things you find in books!! )
Humility-freedom from pride
Pride (Hubris) - Greek Greeks looked at Hubris as the hero's tragic flow.
"The highest holiness is the deepest humility" - Andrew Murray
"I believe that every human mind feels pleasure in doing good to another" - Thomas Jefferson

 

[denjet]

Pages 13770 to 13771

Oh boy... If I hear Beyonce's "If I Were a Boy" one more time... what the hell is the point of that song? I mean really. Most pointless song ever! And while I'm on music.. Christmas songs in mid-November? If only we were living at the North Pole and working for Santa. Only then would that be acceptable. I can't understand our society sometimes...

Anyway, Hey girlie!! How are ya? I'm trying not to completely demolish my $12.00 Bag. I have a terrible case of the munchies! I think it's period time... would explain so much. I'm so glad and so thankful for the other night!! Man, did we both need that. The book is extremely helpful, thank you again for that. And I had not idea how big Tom & Katie's daughter had gotten. She reminds me so much of my baby I saw my attorney last night, and no new updates, well, not really. I'm constantly trying to figure out what's going on with my Momma. She was going to give an inside look into my home life, to Channel 9, of all stations. I can't believe she is actually doing it or actually did it (last night). I guess the story was supposed to be about how things were when I was home. Lord knows she's trying to help, but I really don't see what good it's going to do. Anything positive they disect, and throw away, only after twisting whatever crap they can out of it. I need to go home already. I keep praying for ya! Stay encouraged, and stay strong! I'm glad that you've been able to have so many visits How's your Mom doing? Well, I hope. I know your babies miss ya, and for good reason, you're a great mommy! You'll be with them soon. This too shall pass.
You know what I can't stop laughing aobut? Your comment about being the cream in the Cadbury egg! Ha Ha! Classic! Speaking of chocolate and filling, there's a new Hershey's product: squares with creamy peanut butter! ... Between that commercial, the one's from Steak and Shake yesterday, and oddly enough, Golden Corral (how funny), my tummy is in a frenzy! I can't wait to shave my legs tomorrow! The simple pleasures!
Keep smiling Love! <3 ya!

 

[denjet]

Pages 13778 to 13780

Hey we're all wondering what my problem was, and it finally hit them why I suddenly lost my appetite. 3 cokes later, I was able to eat. This place ruins you in everyway possible. Bastards! I'm really sick of being watched. Now I know how fish feel. They drop food into our "bowl", tap on our glass, and all we can do is swim around and gasp for air. This stupid, stupid place has made me loco! I'm waiting for Jose #2 to come by soon... you've gotta catch a peek at the dimples Hernandez and I joke about for a 40-year-old, he sure doesn't look it. He graduated from highschool the year I was born !! HaHa!
Oh boy. Get me out of here. I'm sweating my butt off. What a day! Ciao! <3

Take 2:
Wow - At least the bread was warm, not drenched in whatever food is supposed to be, and my cookies were in prime condition too. I don't know how I survived before. I think I knew that the only food I was getting was going to come in a take-out box. It's so hard to look at them the same when you're home, believe me. The first day I went to Jose's office, we got take-out from this amazing Spanish restaurant down the street form the office, and when it finally came, I almost cried when I saw the stupid white tray.

 

[Noway]

Sorry ... my format is a little different. Noway
Source: http://www.wesh.com/download/2010/0406/23069066.pdf

Page 197-198
13781-13782

[From side margin]What I wouldn&#8217;t do for a cold beer, cranapple martini & a huge piece of chocolate cheese cake.

[Begin letter]Hello, my friend! I hope you had a great visit with your folks. I&#8217;m looking forward to hearing about it later. The Bucs won today! I was listening to the game on 104.1. At least there was finally something good on the radio!

My hand hurts, from writing, so much, and my handwriting is suffering because of it. Oh well. I&#8217;m going on about 5 ½ hours of sleep. You&#8217;d think I&#8217;d be tired, but oddly enough, I am wide awake. Dinner is almost here, I&#8217;m silently screaming as I write. Looks like another night of snacking. I was [End page 197] honestly about to cry earlier when I noticed that it wasn&#8217;t you, who took _____ spot in 17. : ( great. From here it looks like she got hit in the face. Probably a fight of sorts &#8211; big surprise there. Major bummer though! :sigh: I&#8217;ve had some of the craziest songs in my head today and at the moment &#8220;Home, home on the range &#8230; where the deer and the antelope play&#8221; Lord help me! One thing that came to mind, you should ask Hernandez to cut your hair. If she wouldn&#8217;t let me I would gladly. It may help make it a little bit healthier. Anything I can do to help I will! : )
&#9829; ya pal!! : ) Dinnertime! [End page 198]


Page 199-200
13783-13784

Envelopes


Page 201-202
13785-13786

[From side margin] Can you please tell me why none of these chics [sic] can manage to keep their clothes on??? Wtf?!?!?! My eyes!

[Begin letter]
Mornin&#8217;! How are we doing today? They&#8217;re getting ready to bring in lunch. I wonder what&#8217;s in store for us today. I pray every morning for a calm, quiet, and relaxing day. 1 of 3 isn&#8217;t so bad! Note much else to do besides relax &#8211; sleep, write, read, listen to some tunes. I hope you missed the &#8220;show&#8221; last night. I have no clue what time you came back in, but yikes! Another fiasco, from the north, then to the east or west &#8211; not that I&#8217;m being picky about what side it&#8217;s coming from. Never a dull moment! At least the vent-talkers are easier to ignore or drown out via la radio. My journal for today will be interesting. : )

I&#8217;m so glad I have my goodies back!!! I was starving yesterday, or I was at least in that mentality. I think I just missed having junk food &#8211; how sad. Oh! And let me just say, I&#8217;m extremely unshocked about my lack of privacy here! I&#8217;ll tell you more about that later. It&#8217;s so bad, that I have a certain &#8220;resource&#8221; doing [End page 201] some digging for me. At least our secret is still safe! I can&#8217;t trust the day-time staff for anything! : (

How is your family? I hope they&#8217;re doing well. I got a third confirmation that mine is hanging in there and they are staying as far away from the &#8216;limelight&#8217; as possible (better late than never!) I wish we had actual workout equipment. I&#8217;d love to run on a treadmill. [she has crossed out the &#8216;a&#8217; in treadmill and there is a note above it (a or no a?)] Ha! Sorry. No matter how much we try to keep our brains stimulated, thre&#8217;s something in the air that must make us forget things, like simple spellings. I never won a Spelling Bee, not that I was even interested in trying, but I was fairly confident in my spelling. Is that what happens when you&#8217;re locked in a Cadbary [sic] egg for too long? Maybe the fish bowl analogy would be better? Eh. No matter. I hope to chat soon! Thanks again for that book! Incredible!!! Literally one of those books that you can&#8217;t put down! Stay encouraged! I love ya sis! &#9829;

[From side margin] *Enjoy. *Winkie* It was sent to me from a &#8220;friend&#8221;, and it is definitely unlike anything you have ever read &#8230; about a teddy bear! : ) [End page 202]

Page 203-206
13787-13790

[From side margin] My top 3 bands of all time: 1. Sevendust 2. Fuel 3: Disturbed
But I love my Huey Lewis & The News, Pearl Jam, a little Tenacious D and Linkin Park. Best concert ever: Papa Roach

[Begin letter] Hey sis!

This whole not being able to talk thing really sucks. : ( How are you holding up? I&#8217;m sorry to hear about everything with your attorney, and to top it off, Clay. I pray for each of you, and your families each night, but I said an extra prayer for you both last night. I know I keep saying this, but I wish there was more I could do.

I saw my pastor on Friday, and he&#8217;s keeping you and your family in his prayers. He said that my family is doing well. That was actually confirmed, via the radio, when I heard yesterday morning maybe it was Sunday, but in any case, my parents flew out to California yesterday morning, following a couple tips, and a special date with Larry King. At least they&#8217;re getting to travel the US, something I know they&#8217;ve both always wanted to do. My mom is still extremely defensive, especially in my case, and doesn&#8217;t hesitate to refuse any and all things being reported. My pastor confirmed that she&#8217;s still staying strong [End page 203] in her faith, which is a definite comfort. She&#8217;s really coming into her own, and I&#8217;m so grateful. I&#8217;m still worried about my brother, hoping that he&#8217;s figured out where he&#8217;s moving to, and that work isn&#8217;t putting too much additional stress on him. We&#8217;re working on my bond motion, so I should hopefully and unfortunately be in court within the next two weeks. Hopefully, we&#8217;ll get to talk soon, so I can get more details from you, and maybe have some useful advice. I&#8217;m looking into the appeals process, and I&#8217;ll make sure I update you with every minor detail as I go along. I really can picture myself pursuing law after all of this. Funny, huh! Your journals &#8230; wow! I can&#8217;t wait to read this book!!! And I think the title is perfect. I&#8217;m still tossing around the idea of doing something similar, but I&#8217;ve always wanted to write children&#8217;s books. I guess one can do both &#8230; who knows. I&#8217;m really interested in reading that story you told me about. Hits close to home, considering we both know all too well some of the things she&#8217;s gone through. Life can be cruel, so cruel, and you&#8217;re either a victim or a [from side margin] survivor. You and me, we&#8217;re survivors. Hold strong in your faith. I keep thinking about your dad. He&#8217;s a strong man. I&#8217;m glad that your parents are still trying to keep in contact with Clay&#8217;s family. That&#8217;s extremely important. Don&#8217;t lose hope! [End page 204]

[From side margin page 205] You will get your miracle! I know I say that all the time, but I feel it in my heart and in my gut. You and me, we&#8217;re going to do big things, and we&#8217;re going to help so many people! Here&#8217;s to second chances! &#9829;

[Begin letter]And as far as I see it, you are one incredible woman, for trusting your own heart, over what other people say when it comes to your husband. No one can look down on you, or should try to convince you that by sticking by your man you&#8217;re doing something wrong. You love him. It&#8217;s so obvious! I only hope that I can find that love one day. Don&#8217;t give up on him, as long as there is still the tiniest ounce of love in your [End page 205] heart. True love is unconditional. I praise you for supporting Clay. It just shows how strong you are, and how strong your love is! You&#8217;ll get through this

Through this, both of you, and I pray that you make it through every trial, together. I still recommend writing to him, mailing that letter to a friend, and having them mail it to him for you. A &#8220;real&#8221; friend will do you that favor. Stay encouraged love! There is a silver-lining to this cloud. (We share the same love of sunset too! That lovely purple-blue. It&#8217;s a hidden comfort. : ) I &#9829; ya, girl! And I can&#8217;t wait for my little tree. I can&#8217;t believe it&#8217;s almost Christmas. [End page 206]

 

[Noway]

Page 207
13791

As a Christian, prayer is a constant in my life, not a day goes by when I don&#8217;t conduct some kind of conversation &#8211; no matter how quiet and casual &#8211; with God. I have to believe that He, and the family He blessed me with, will help me keep my head high.

~ Dan Quayle, former Vice President of the United States ~ 1988-1992 under the Bush Adminstration

(it just fits : ) ) &#9829;


Page 208
13792

&#8220;&#8230; His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.&#8221;
~Lamentations 3:22-23

*the shortest distance between two points is a leap of faith!! : )

Page 209
13793

Have you ever stood at the edge of the ocean and watches the waves come in?

God&#8217;s love is like the waves &#8211; constant, steady, sure.

He says His mercies are new every morning! Everyday we get a new wave of His mercy, grace, and love.


Page 210-211
13794-13795

You&#8217;re going to laugh at me. : ) I&#8217;ve started counting calories &#8230; but here&#8217;s why:

We may actually be able to survive on junk food & drink mixes! : ) Isn&#8217;t that fabulous??? Yeah, I was bored, and hungry, and started to wonder if &#8220;junk food&#8221; really is that bad for you. Turns out, it&#8217;s not! The things we need to watch out for is too much salt, fat and sodium. Otherwise than that, it&#8217;s probably 1000x better for us to eat our commissary than all 3 reg. Meals. I doubt there&#8217;s enough necessary nutrients to energize a turtle!

Here&#8217;s the list that I found:

*For 2000 calories:

Total fat &#8211; 65g
Carbs &#8211; 300g
Sat. fat &#8211; 20g
Fiber &#8211; 25g
Cholesterol &#8211; 300mg
Sodium &#8211; 2400 mg

*We need as much protein as we can get!!! [End page 211]

 

[Noway]

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My head is going to explode! I just want to scream for these idiots to stay out of the vents. I&#8217;m honestly getting a headache. : ( It baffles me that they continue to get away with it. You can hear them outside of our cells. Give me a freaking break! Ah! Sorry. Had to vent. I know you can obviously sympathize. I&#8217;m in a pretty difficult mood at the moment &#8230; hearing more about my folks on the radio. They&#8217;ll be on Larry King tonight (Wed.) and Dateline later this week. My pre-trial starts tomorrow but I&#8217;ll be signing my waiver, so I don&#8217;t have to attend [End page 212] and I&#8217;ll also be waiving my right to speedy trial. I can&#8217;t believe it&#8217;s already a week and a half into December. So depressing! I feel like such a whiner. Sadly, it&#8217;s one of those days. I crave some bit of normalcy, some bit of a real life. Someday soon, we&#8217;ll both get our miracles. It&#8217;s so hard to see the bigger picture sometimes, but it&#8217;s necessary. I&#8217;m praying for you! I hope you&#8217;re doing alright. I love yah hun! &#9829;

(My allergies have kicked my butt up and down the block. What a day!)

[From side margin]I can&#8217;t wait to talk to ya!! I miss my friend!!!![End page 113]


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Music Trivia:

• What was the longest song to ever reach number one?
• Rod Stewart was once a member of which band? Steampacket, Strawberry Alarm Clock, Hermets, or Bubba and the Bad Boys?
• What is the best selling instrument in the world?
• What is the top selling single of all time
• What is the last note on a keypad?
• What band was once called the Golden Gate Rhythm Section?
• What band was once called Feedback?
• When was the LP invented?
• What was the name of John Lennon&#8217;s first girlfriend?
• What did Juice Newton&#8217;s husband do?

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[Photo of Caylee; I saved to my Photobucket but it was a bad photocopy, so I found actual photo on Internet and posted below.]
Father, I pray that your angels may watch over my Caylee. She gives me strength always. &#9829;

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12/2008
My sister, my friend,

We have been through so much, both separately, but now, we are able to face our trials and our victories together. You&#8217;ve shown me what it&#8217;s like to have a *true* friend, regardless of what obstacles are staring me in the face. You have encouraged me daily, and you can always put a smile on my face : ) You have such a strength that I admire, because you are not by any means afraid to show your emotions. You will never give up on someone that you love, and that&#8217;s a quality I greatly admire.

I too, will never leave your side, and I will help you in any way that I can. I cherish you, and our growing friendship.

Keep your Faith and your Hope!

Always keep you head up high!

I love you girl! And I am so very thankful t hat even through this difficult time, for both of us, that we have been so blessed to have found each other.

God is so good! And he has placed his hand firmly on your shoulder. I pray everyday for your miracle &#8230; it&#8217;s within reach!

Remember, He gives us Strength in our moments of weakness. Never give up! &#9829;

One of the things that has brought me great comfort: [drawn flower] Matthew 5:3-12

And one of my all-time Faves: [drawn flower] Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 [End page 218]

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I&#8217;ve hit an all time low and have slipped into a depression that only God can bail me out of. Everytime I look at my kids, I just break down. I got some bad news from my attorney the other day, my changes of serving less than 10 years are now 50% slimmer than they were before because I do not qualify for a &#8220;safety valve&#8221; from the judge (a leniency to drop the mandatory 10 year sentence).

It seems as though reality is closer than ever and I am afraid to admit that God might put me in prison for that length of time. I understand that there are consequences for the mistake I made but swallowing the pill or reality is now lodged in my throat leaving me gasping for air as I continue to choke on the mistake that has ruined my life. With all the tears that I have cried, I am certain that God is able to make a good size pond for ducks to **** in, sorry not funny.

It&#8217;s been so long since I have heard my first name called and a last name that I am all to used to hearing even though I haven&#8217;t had it long at all. In Galations [sic] 5:22 the bible reveals the fruits of the spirit as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I feel like being here has [End page 219] shown me all of those fruits except for joy. My life has never experienced true joy. Almost as if there has been a black cloud hovering over me allowing no light to shine through it, except of course the flourescent [sic] light that hangs in my cell.

I just can&#8217;t imagine 10 years of my life taken away from me and my kids. I believe that God has something better for me but what if I&#8217;m wrong? I also believe that Clay and I would live happily ever after. I was wrong about that. Although I love him still, everyone is against me in thinking of him, so when do our thoughts become forbidden and when do consequences become condemnation? What exactly is jail for anyway? Is it meant to hold you in a place of confinement until you show remorse for your mistakes or is it meant to hold you in solitude until you mentally go insane? And then there&#8217;s the though that you are punished for an extensive amount of time for making a small mistake but because of it you are now doomed to the pits of prison until you are forgotten about by friends and society. I think there are no real answers and all of it is complete **** and just a way of making the problem when in fact there are worse things to be concerned about. [End page 220]

 

[Noway]

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[Candy cane photo on one side of card; text on back page of card]

Geography:

1. The continent of Africa is made up of how many countries?
2. Which country is bordered on all sides by South Africa? &#8211; Malawi; Lesotho; Niger; or Sudan
3. Which country is not on the equator? Egypt, Colombia, Uganda or Somalia?
4. How many countries are on the equator?
5. How many countries are on the continent of South America?
6. On what continent would you find the indigenous people of Banawá?
7. The &#8220;Gold Coast&#8221; is now known as?
8. On what continent would you speak Quechua?
9. Santiago is the capital of what country?
10. Where in the world would you find South Georgia? (Hint &#8211; not in Georgia!) [End page 221]

[Inside of card, left side]

A big part of me wants to say Bah-Humbug because of the upcoming holidays.

But &#8230; the little elf in me still is going to try to spread some holiday cheer!

A friend of mine sent me some random trivia, most of the answers I got wrong but, it was a good distraction nonetheless.

There are 5 categories &#8230; each with 10 questions. I&#8217;ll send the answers later, so you can&#8217;t cheat : ) I sure tried! Ha! Enjoy! &#9829;

Dog Trivia

1. How many times are dogs mentioned in the bible?
2. Which dog breed can get acne?
3. How many vocal sounds can a dog produce?
4. Which dog breed can have a blue tongue?
5. Sun Yan Set, survived which disaster?
6. How many dogs survived the sinking of the Titanic?
7. What language is commonly used to train police dogs?
8. The greyhound comes from which country?
9. What was the name of Hitler&#8217;s dog?
10. Queen Elizabeth has four dogs of which breed?

[Inside of card, right side]

Animal Trivia

1. A &#8216;Jenny&#8217; is a female?
2. A &#8216;Cast&#8217; is a group of?
3. How long does it take to had boil an ostrich egg?
4. Which animal can get a &#8216;sunburn&#8217;?
5. What animal were allies trying to train to drop bombs during WWII?
6. Which animal has a blue tongue?
7. Which animal can walk underwater? Armadillo, porcupine, seal or tiger?
8. What is a &#8216;sea wasp&#8217;?
9. Which animal can go longer than a camel without water?
10. What is used to make camel hair brushes?


History:

1. King Henry the Eighth had how many wives?
2. Which emperor &#8216;fiddled while Rome burned&#8217;?
3. Where is Benedict Arnold buried?
4. Where was Marco Polo born?
5. Who wrote the Odyssey?
6. Which European city was originally &#8216;Little ___&#8221;?
7. What was the last province to join Canada?
8. Which country&#8217;s civil war was known as the &#8216;Onin War&#8217;?
9. Which of these is noble gas? (no multi-choice)
10. N_________ is the crown prince of what country? [End page 222]

 

[Gnatcatcher]

=Noway;
I&#8217;m looking into the appeals process, and I&#8217;ll make sure I update you with every minor detail as I go along. I really can picture myself pursuing law after all of this. Funny, huh! Your journals &#8230; wow! I can&#8217;t wait to read this book!!! And I think the title is perfect. I&#8217;m still tossing around the idea of doing something similar, but I&#8217;ve always wanted to write children&#8217;s books.

BBM, and Gosh I hope I did the quotes right.

She was looking into the appeals process wayyyyyyyyyyyyy back then, a year ago. In light of the motion to seal the visitor logs, thought I'd bring this up. Many thanks to those who are transcribing the letters.

SHOOT, the quotes didn't work. I'm referring to post #54 of this thread, the paragraph that begins "I saw my pastor...", about midway through that paragraph. Sorry.

 

[Noway]

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Howdy! Today is a little bit better &#8230; better than the last few days. I&#8217;m listening to a wedding on 104.1 &#8211; live. Pretty cool; very sweet actually.

I can&#8217;t stop thinking about your Mariah Carey comment &#8230; and her stupid song. I really can&#8217;t get into Christmas music, and I can&#8217;t remember a time since before high school, that I actually listened to any Christmas music.

It was nice of the chaplains to come through &#8230; yike! I need spell check too. I think I&#8217;m getting a cold. : ( Ugh.

Is it possible to get sick because you&#8217;ve cried too much? At least that&#8217;s one norm, for me &#8211; I&#8217;m usually sick on the big day. The few years I&#8217;ve been, uh, unsick? Ha! It was really hot out &#8211; like in the mid-80&#8217;s. I&#8217;m avoiding going [End page 223] outside. I miss the fresh air, but I&#8217;d rather not add to my misery.

Anyway &#8230; what did you ask Santa for, for Christmas? I want a new bike, and a big ol&#8217; chocolate milkshake! Should we pray for snow? Why not! I wonder who&#8217;s going to be here Christmas night?

Maybe we can ask for a little talk time &#8230; let&#8217;s hope for someone willing to indulge a couple of weepy mommys [sic] who need a friend. I think the wedding is getting underway, so I&#8217;m off, then time for my shower. &#9829; ya homes!! [End page 224]

 

[Noway]

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Thankful for everything?​

One Summer evening a friendship was no more. Our best friend had made the decision to favor his selfish love of money instead of what could have been a lifetime of friendship. Because of his betrayal, I was stripped of my life, my children, husband, parents, career, friends and great reputation. During my time in jail, I have expressed my thoughts and feelings through my journals but I find this one to be my favorite yet.

Let me be Thankful &#8211;​

First, because I have never been in jail before. Second, because although he took many days away, he did not take my life, my family, my imagination or my hopes and dreams. Third, because I have lost some time each day becomes my past, I still have a future to look forward to. Fourth, because it was I who was betrayed by trust and dishonesty and not I that was the betrayer of such. And fifth, because God has given me the strength to make it through each day, have faith that I will be home again soon, and the ability to forgive

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