SIDEBAR #50 - Arias/Alexander forum

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Good Morning Sidebar Friends!
:loveyou:

Whew! Really needed that second cuppa CFON, the heavenly coffee.

For those unaware, but interested: the preliminary hearing for Chase Merritt, arrested for killing the McStay family and burying their bodies in the desert of Victorville, CA, is this morning at 9 a.m. Pacific Time. Many here have been awaiting evidence against Chase who was Joey McStay's partner in his Fountain business. There is a thread over in the Parking Lot.

See ya there!
 
Ryan has left the hospital and refuse rehab. He wants no communication with his family...that tells me he is drinking. *sigh*
That is the first sign of his drinking pattern. He will call one of us up when he is drunk and either cry and say he is sorry or tell us all the wrongs he thinks we did him as a child or cuss us out! Oh well...nothing I can do about it, it's just I'm so tired of it.

On the brighter side of my life...after 10 days of high pollen count, the next 4 days will be awesome!! Pollen count will be in the 2.8 ranges...I can go outside :)

No baby birds yet...she's still nesting. Seems like it has been a long time.

Hope everyone has such an awesome day :)

Dmacky: I knew you lived in KY! My mind had a 'fart' when I posted Ohio :)


Sigh..... my sweet coffee, I have been down that road too many times. I had to finally tell my so. not to call when he was drinking or I would hang up.... and I had to follow through. Eventually, it worked (most of the time). So hard when we care so much. I am sorry your Ryan isn't ready yet. :therethere:

Hubs hurt his back at work last week .... he will be home for another week. Sighs again ..... there goes my "schedule".


Cold here today.
 
Good Morning Sidebar Friends!
:loveyou:

Whew! Really needed that second cuppa CFON, the heavenly coffee.

For those unaware, but interested: the preliminary hearing for Chase Merritt, arrested for killing the McStay family and burying their bodies in the desert of Victorville, CA, is this morning at 9 a.m. Pacific Time. Many here have been awaiting evidence against Chase who was Joey McStay's partner in his Fountain business. There is a thread over in the Parking Lot.

See ya there!

Does anyone know if there'll be a twitter feed going on or video of the prelim? And where the heck is the best thread to be on? Have no idea where the Parking Lot is!:scared:
 
Morning all! :wave:

coffeejunkie - love the Welcome SideBar friends picture!! :loveyou:

Canada DID beat the Russians - 6 to 1 :happydance: and the U.S.A. won the Bronze medal beating the Czech Republic - 3 to 0 !!

Waiting now... :waiting: for the lady to call about the :cat: - hoping she gives us a call today; if not, I have a friend down the hill that found another family that has free kittens - my Huz and I don't want to pay $85 for a kitten at the animal shelter... :gaah:

Not much else going on... so will check out the McStay thread, and James Holmes...

see you all later! :seeya:
 
okay - had to share this too - originally posted by Jasper52

Letter to PV Warden:

Ms. Judy Frigo
Perryville Prison Warden
ASPC - Perryville
P.O. Box 3000
Goodyear, AZ 85395
Dear Ms. Frigo,

This letter is written to you in response to a news article published by Arizona ABC-15 News entitled “Jodi Arias update: Fellow inmate claims convicted killer getting 'special treatment' at Perryville“ on http://www.abc15.com/…/jodi-arias-up...w-inmate-clai…, which reported:-- “The whole prison got shut down just for Jodi's arrival and Jodi was greeted by everyone there, all the wardens, the officials, everybody,” … “They’re saying she’s going to get her own rec room with carpet, and normally you don’t have carpet in there, and she has TV in the rec room and usually the TV only stays in your prison cell.”

Having closely observed all of the antics, manipulations, and criminal activities perpetrated by Jodi Arias since her brutal slaughter of Travis Alexander, in 2008, please allow me to express my concerns vis-à-vis the convicted murderer’s cynical tactical ploys devised to obtain what she wants, without any due respect whatsoever for rules and regulations. Jodi Arias does not care whom she harms in order to achieve her aims. Of course, you probably will have been warned already that she is highly manipulative, and I have read that you have warned prison officials; prison guards; and, possibly even other prison inmates to beware of her “mind games”—but, she exploits very cunning tactics (a) to worm her way into the “good graces” of her target audience by playing the victim & pretending to be meek & mind, faking her soft-spoken “little girl” voice; (b) to wear down others over time; and, (c) to lie, cheat, and steal in order to finally control & steer others into doing her bidding.
Her pattern-of-behaviour is very predictable and can be identified as follows, over time:--

1. Jodi Arias plays the victim and plays at being sweet. She plays at being “helpless”, but is anything but weak. She is dangerous, strong, and violent. She will cry that she was wrongly convicted, blaming the prosecutor, the AZ Mesa police, the judge, her attorneys, and her victim, Travis Alexander, for where she sits today. She is clever, and she will say that she blames herself & takes responsibility for her crime, but if truth be told, she really doesn’t—for in one breathe she will attempt to sound contrite, faking it, i.e. knowing that’s what her audience wants to hear, but in the next breathe she will attack others who have sought the truth & justice. She speaks out of both sides of her mouth, trying to identify the weaknesses / vulnerabilities / “soft spots” of those around her whom she wants to manipulate:-- e.g. she will say that she loved Travis Alexander, and then bad-mouth him with self-serving lies about how he was hyper-sexual; abusive; and/or a pedophile:-- all unsubstantiated… all lies… all projections of her own depraved characteristics onto him. She will do the same thing vis-à-vis you, your officials & guards, and other inmates:-- i.e. she will back-stab anybody who she believes stands in the way of what she wants to achieve, both in the short and longer terms.

2. Jodi Arias wears her target audience down over time. She will begin by using flattery and attempting to “be-friend” her target, whom she simply uses. She has no friends:-- only objects that she exploits to service her… she may even play on sexual seduction, a tool that she mastered since her teenage years:-- she may try to seduce a male guard into having sex with her, in order to then cry “rape” and/or to then get pregnant, hoping to be moved to a hospital or a minimum security facility. If that doesn’t work, she will try to intimidate her target by using language to make herself seem to be more well-educated & smarter than she is, in the hopes that she will appear to be awesome & superior to those around her. If that doesn’t work, she will threaten her target:-- e.g. she will claim that she will report her target for legal transgressions; and/or that she will contact a higher authority to report that she is not being treated properly; and/or that her attorneys will make sure that her target is punished in some way, to scare her target into submission. If that doesn’t work, she will threaten to commit suicide and/or throw temper-tantrums.

Jodi Arias is relentless and she exploits all devices:-- pity, intimidate, fear, greed, and lust. She wears down her target via non-stop stratagems—i.e. “upping the ante” until her target gives into her. She does not give up, and finally, most individuals (in the past, her mother & family members; her employers; her boyfriends; etc.) become sick and tired of her complaints; and they finally give in to her. (Her own mother, Sandy Arias, has resorted to lying for her murderous daughter:-- e.g. attempting to sell Jodi Arias’ fake, forged pedo letters to the “National Enquirer” on orders from her daughter; but even this scandal-mongering tabloid refused to purchase them; and now, Sandy Arias is on a money-making frenzy; she even claimed to see “bruises” on Jodi Arias, yet, she never told that to Det. Flores during the police interrogation interviews during 2008, and even the defense attorney, Jennifer Willmott said in an interview following the sentencing on April 13th, 2015, that no family member ever saw bruises on Jodi Arias; etc.) Jodi Arias, her mother, her Aunt (Sue Allen Halterman), and her criminal cohorts are all dangerous—because the murderer never gives up… and she has manipulated her family & followers into lying for her; and once she gets her way with something minor, then she wants more. Beware her so-called “Mitigation Specialist”, Maria De La Rosa, involved in Jodi Arias’ money-making scams & her Private Investigator Dorian Bond, also suspect in some of her potential criminal shenanigans related to her tampering with computer evidence. Jodi Arias will have them all plead for her, but they have lied for her, in the past.

Giving into something that seems minor does not silence her— it does the opposite:--- it makes her more aggressive and more determined to “go for broke” and she will want more. She has a greedy nature. She may start out, for example, by asking that the rules be bent for visitation. Perhaps, instead of one 2-Hours Non-Contact Visit—she will ask if she can have 2 1-Hour Visits, and after all, just hugging her Mom shouldn’t cause any problems, right? Wrong! For she pushes the envelope, not just once but over and over again, and hugging her Mom will involve some passing of notes / contraband between the two… and moreover, the next time, she’ll ask if instead of one 2-Hours Non-Contact Visit, can’t she have a couple of visits in one week. It’s a slow, but sure, “drip-drip-drip” evolution of eroding your prison rules & regulations, until before you know it, she is being granted all kinds of extras that contravene the limitations for a Maximum Security prisoner. When you would then try to pull back on her special treatment, then she would let everyone know that you are corrupt and that she is now being mistreated. She’ll never thank you in the longer-term for bending the rules & regulations for her:-- she smirks at those whom she can dupe. It’s her “Duper’s Delight”. She’ll want more and more and more. And, she’ll undermine the very discipline that you are trying to keep intact in prison.

3. Jodi Arias will lie, cheat, and steal… and, possibly even murder another prison inmate, in time. In Estrella jail, she would lie about other jail inmates. She would bribe other inmates with goodies in order to obtain extra visitation on the video-visits. She smuggled contraband in and out of jail. Reportedly, she had a cell-phone, at one time. Surely, you will have received a full report about her many jail infractions, and this demonstrates that she will go to any lengths that she deems necessary in order to get her way. She cannot be trusted, Ms. Frigo. To trust her will prove to be dangerous to the lives and also to the livelihoods of all those employed & residing at Perryville prison. She is cunning, and she will bring everyone else down, to attempt to prop herself up and to gain special favours. Beware of her dishonest tactics & stratagems. The only way to deal with Jodi Arias is to maintain strict rules and not to deviate from them for any reason whatsoever. When she “acts out” by violating the regulations, she should be admonished severely and exposed for her wrongdoings. Letting her get away with “murder”, metaphorically speaking, only makes her more brash & more daring in what she’ll try on next.

Jodi Arias has been able to “game the system” by prolonging her capital murder trial for years, and even into manipulating a sitting judge into granting her unconstitutional secrecy, which the AZ Court of Appeals & the AZ Supreme Court overturned, because it was in violation of the US Constitution. Jodi Arias is devious & clever, in an unscrupulous manner… and unfortunately, she has been able to obtain special treatment, that almost no other convicted murderers are ever able to achieve. The criminal trial could not, by law, last indefinitely… i.e. by law, the judge was compelled to finish the trial and to see that Jodi Arias was finally sentenced. In Perryville prison, there is no “end” to her sentence. Since she was sentenced to “Natural Life” = LWOP, then Jodi Arias will, over time, figure that she has nothing to lose by trying to break the rules & regulations, to see how far she can get. She is a pathological liar… who will deceive her target audience by using a combination of a bit of plausible sounding truth along with half-truths and adding in bald-faced lies… so that her tangle of mendacities becomes difficult for some individuals to unravel—although it’s never the full & honest truth. She is incapable of facing the truth of the matter in its’ entirety, when it would compete with her own self-interest. She may even try to escape, once her appeals are exhausted. Until then, Money has replaced Sex as Jodi Arias’ goal in life. She knows that money can buy her goodies; special treatment; and, friends.

Money = Power, even in prison. Jodi Arias’ goal is now all about clawing in as much blood money as possible, from her notoriety for having brutally slaughtered Travis Alexander. Jodi Arias will plan on bribing prison officials, e.g. by promising that one of her criminal cohorts on the outside will provide to that weak official and/or guard money as a Quid Pro Quo for passing messages in and out of prison; and/or for obtaining a cell-phone; and/or for extra treats; extra visitation; etc. … Jodi Arias will try to bribe prison inmates, e.g. buying “friends” from whom she can indirectly pass out messages to her entourage on the outside; and/or obtaining goodies, kitchen knives and/or other weapons & tools; and/or to obtain cell-phones; and/or even to harm others, e.g. prison guards and/or inmates, who do not like her. There is nothing that Jodi Arias will not do, irrespective of the harm that she causes to others… and be careful, please, for she may begin her stay in prison by playing the “Good Girl” in order to fool others into believing that she respects your rules & regulations. She is a chameleon who changes her façade in order to ingratiate herself to those in power, but this is a ruse devised with the cynical intention to manipulate them. Beware though:-- Jodi Arias’ “nice” act won’t last. She respects nobody who does not bow down before the altar of her ego. She respects no rule, no regulation—for her, they are meant to be broken & outwitted. Jodi Arias is only out for herself. She always has been, and she always will be. That’s who she is… she is dangerous, and God Help anybody who lets their guard down. Don’t let her play you or your staff for fools, please. Good luck.

Best regards.
Sincerely yours,
Edie Morse
Copy:--
Director Charles L. Ryan
Arizona Department of Corrections
1601 W. Jefferson
Phoenix, AZ 85007

Source: About Jodi Arias and her supporters
 
Oh Zuri, that is awful! That's exactly why I didn't go the WC route. I knew from hearing all these horror stories about WC while I was reading in different Spinal forums that I didn't have the energy to fight with them, plus I was also a single mom at the time and couldn't play their games financially. I had worked since I was 17 at the same place, and already had 30 years in so I just filed for plain old disability per my surgeons request. I was very fortunate to have been approved on the first try at age 47.

I know 110% and without a doubt in my mind, or even my surgeons mind that my neck injury had to have happened at work.

I cannot imagine you having to go through all that bull$hit already 4 times in 6 years! That's just CRAZY! Just filing out the form to continue SSD every once in awhile mentally drains me. Stupid questions like, what do you do during the day??? I never know what to write.
And you are so right about them not caring about you as a person. All these companies care about is making MONEY, it doesn't matter to them at all if you were/are a very good worker!

Sending healing hugs and I hope you feel better soon. Chronic pain is very hard to live with!

Thanks Dmacky for sharing your story. My low back is really annoying, but I can't imagine what a neck injury would be like. I had to go the WC route so I could have the income, in addition to SSI Disability. I too was approved the first time I applied in 2010. My disability is two fold: brain and back as I call it. I had 17 doctors between the two conditions that supported my disability. Good Lord, that sounds like a lot.

Xo
 
I'll be keeping positive thoughts for your mare. Glad you decided to go forward with it again. You're not a glutton, you're "hopeful"!

What happened this last Spring has got to be a complete fluke of Nature......what are the chances?
And if you give up on your dreams, what do you have? Just an endless cycle of remodeling your kitchen! :floorlaugh:

Waiting for the weather to get "normal", Zuri is shedding something fierce but still looks like a fuzzy lamb, she's got a 50/50 mix of gray and dark brown body hair. It's like someone is out there slowly erasing her color every night!

And it "looks" like Star and Zubaz may have a young'n coming next spring. Split them up on the 28th of April, and not a sign of another heat from Star. Maybe Star and your mare will have foals next year around the same time!:happydance: As far as I know, Kissy is probably around 6 months along, gah. Stealth heat grrrrr. I guess the 2 figured it out the first 2 times I separated them........

So you are having 2 foals? !!!!!! Awesome!
Well, the stallion has been collected and the semen is on its' way. I am keeping my fingers crossed that my mare takes right away. My breeding vet is really excellent and I am so lucky to have her in my corner. Both stallion owners were so supportive when I told them about both mares aborting due to EHV1. As we're all of you, my dear WS friends. Xo

ETA: Bernina, you made me LOL about the kitchen remodeling. Very true!
I am wondering if Zuri is going to roan out. She is adorable for sure. I just had my show hunter gelding body clipped as he was not shedding out as fast as he should have due to the prednisolone.
 
Thanks Niner for posting that letter to the Warden. I have a feeling the Warden already has a very good idea what that heinous person is like.
 
I am on a posting roll it seems. I have a question of anyone that may have gone through the following:

A married couple, whom we have been friends with for 25 years, are going through an acrimonious time. They are very wealthy and the husband has just filed a PFA against the wife, siting abuse. The PFA contained some statements that are true, but some statements that are also false.

Long story short, the husband has a manipulative girlfriend on the side that the wife found out about. She confronted her husband and a lot of screaming matches insued. She is a fiery Italian and loves her husband and just wants to keep her marriage together. The husband, well, he is turning 65 and kind of in a crisis.

They go to Court on Friday at 10:30 in front of a Comissioner in Family Court. I have been asked by her to go, and possibly testify. I would have to answer honestly, and I don't think neither of them is going to like what I have to say as they both are behaving badly.

Ok. What do I do? This is totally ridiculous if you ask me. Like First World, Rich People's problems. I love them both and can see both sides.
 
Ryan has left the hospital and refuse rehab. He wants no communication with his family...that tells me he is drinking. *sigh*
That is the first sign of his drinking pattern. He will call one of us up when he is drunk and either cry and say he is sorry or tell us all the wrongs he thinks we did him as a child or cuss us out! Oh well...nothing I can do about it, it's just I'm so tired of it.

On the brighter side of my life...after 10 days of high pollen count, the next 4 days will be awesome!! Pollen count will be in the 2.8 ranges...I can go outside :)

No baby birds yet...she's still nesting. Seems like it has been a long time.

Hope everyone has such an awesome day :)

Dmacky: I knew you lived in KY! My mind had a 'fart' when I posted Ohio :)

Oh CJ, I join in everyone's sentiments in sending you love and light. I am truly sorry you are going through this, yet again. Alcoholism and addiction are very tough battles, and I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away. Xo
 
I am on a posting roll it seems. I have a question of anyone that may have gone through the following:

A married couple, whom we have been friends with for 25 years, are going through an acrimonious time. They are very wealthy and the husband has just filed a PFA against the wife, siting abuse. The PFA contained some statements that are true, but some statements that are also false.

Long story short, the husband has a manipulative girlfriend on the side that the wife found out about. She confronted her husband and a lot of screaming matches insued. She is a fiery Italian and loves her husband and just wants to keep her marriage together. The husband, well, he is turning 65 and kind of in a crisis.

They go to Court on Friday at 10:30 in front of a Comissioner in Family Court. I have been asked by her to go, and possibly testify. I would have to answer honestly, and I don't think neither of them is going to like what I have to say as they both are behaving badly.

Ok. What do I do? This is totally ridiculous if you ask me. Like First World, Rich People's problems. I love them both and can see both sides.

Hi Zuri...it could be very powerful for them to hear what you have to say, even if it is painful. They must trust you and care about you, so likely they would respect you too. And your perspective could be healing and enlightening for both of them. IDK, JMO
 
Quite a dilemma, Zuri. If you are prepared to lose friends, then by all means go ahead and be there. Just be aware, if neither feels you are siding with them, they may turn some of their anger against you. Maybe only temporary, and they will come around. Of course, if you were subpoenaed, you would have no choice.
 
I may not post everyday - but I truly appreciate everyone who does
:grouphug: hugs and kisses :blowkiss: to all :tyou:

Sidebar and Friends
Some may be silent, others have something to say.
Visits are frequent, multiple times per day.
It's different from Cheers, everybody doesn't know your name.
Never met in person, but it's friendship just the same.
There's comfort, laughter and even some tears.
Discussion can be anything, maybe deep seeded fears.
It's a breakaway from the days' bustle and grind.
An outside link to help from loosing ones mind.
It's a comfort in knowing this pleasure with no ends.
Sure glad to find this place called Sidebar and Friends.

:loveyou:
 
I am on a posting roll it seems. I have a question of anyone that may have gone through the following:

A married couple, whom we have been friends with for 25 years, are going through an acrimonious time. They are very wealthy and the husband has just filed a PFA against the wife, siting abuse. The PFA contained some statements that are true, but some statements that are also false.

Long story short, the husband has a manipulative girlfriend on the side that the wife found out about. She confronted her husband and a lot of screaming matches insued. She is a fiery Italian and loves her husband and just wants to keep her marriage together. The husband, well, he is turning 65 and kind of in a crisis.

They go to Court on Friday at 10:30 in front of a Comissioner in Family Court. I have been asked by her to go, and possibly testify. I would have to answer honestly, and I don't think neither of them is going to like what I have to say as they both are behaving badly.

Ok. What do I do? This is totally ridiculous if you ask me. Like First World, Rich People's problems. I love them both and can see both sides.

bbm

My advice is to tell your friend exactly that and let her decide if she really wants that much honesty in court!

My previous marriage ended in divorce and I lost a number of my so-called friends because I chose to be open and honest about my reasons for leaving...they sided with my husband. Oh well. Apparently honesty wasn't the best policy in that case!

I may not post everyday - but I truly appreciate everyone who does
:grouphug: hugs and kisses :blowkiss: to all :tyou:

Sidebar and Friends
Some may be silent, others have something to say.
Visits are frequent, multiple times per day.
It's different from Cheers, everybody doesn't know your name.
Never met in person, but it's friendship just the same.
There's comfort, laughter and even some tears.
Discussion can be anything, maybe deep seeded fears.
It's a breakaway from the days' bustle and grind.
An outside link to help from loosing ones mind.
It's a comfort in knowing this pleasure with no ends.
Sure glad to find this place called Sidebar and Friends.

:loveyou:

That is lovely! ((Ruby))
 
I took care of my mil the last eleven months of her life and she had Alzheimer. Some days were good, some days she only spoke Italian. She loved Happy Meals. She'd never had one before, and thought chicken nuggets were the greatest inventions, and ranch dressing just wowed her. She'd tell my dh to come try a nugget dipped in ranch everyday. She called my sister the "loud cook", and would confuse us at times. She told me one day that she wanted my sister to come visit her (she was living with one of my sister), and I asked her which one, and she thought for a moment and said the nice one.

One time we were looking at all the photo albums of her and her parents from Italy and when they traveled in Europe before coming to America, and would tell me stories about the trip. Everything about the trip. She said she got pregnant with my dh because the Germans wouldn't sell her apricots.



We"d taken her out of the nursing home and my sister last patient had died a few weeks before and she had a spare bedroom. All that Adilia asked me for was to find her a bedroom with a private bathroom, and things worked out that I could give that to her - I miss her everyday. And hope this year we'll do something with her ashes. I've dropped them on my foot twice.


What an incredibly lovely, kind and caring person you are. Your DH is lucky to have you in his life. A lot of women don't have such great relationships with their MIL. It is heartening to read about yours. Xo
 
Can you send Blake a card or cookies? I bet if he understands what you are dealing with, he would be very understanding. Many people don't recognize or understand dementia. Those afflicted deserve compassion, not anger, for they know not what they do. Xo

Bernina, I agree with Zuri. It would give the people that are important to you the possibility to understand and by that the possibility to may be even be helpful and closer if they wish to.

I'm very sorry you have to go through such difficult conflicts that tear you up between your BF and other important people! HUGS
 
I am on a posting roll it seems. I have a question of anyone that may have gone through the following:

A married couple, whom we have been friends with for 25 years, are going through an acrimonious time. They are very wealthy and the husband has just filed a PFA against the wife, siting abuse. The PFA contained some statements that are true, but some statements that are also false.

Long story short, the husband has a manipulative girlfriend on the side that the wife found out about. She confronted her husband and a lot of screaming matches insued. She is a fiery Italian and loves her husband and just wants to keep her marriage together. The husband, well, he is turning 65 and kind of in a crisis.

They go to Court on Friday at 10:30 in front of a Comissioner in Family Court. I have been asked by her to go, and possibly testify. I would have to answer honestly, and I don't think neither of them is going to like what I have to say as they both are behaving badly.

Ok. What do I do? This is totally ridiculous if you ask me. Like First World, Rich People's problems. I love them both and can see both sides.

Love the "First World Problems", lol!

Just tell her that it's going to be the truth and nothing BUT the truth. If she can't handle that, then better she just let you hold your tongue so no one's feelings get bent out of shape.

Maybe the Judge will make the PFA mutual, ie, both parties have one against the other? Usually chills out people pretty quick and neither party has an advantage over the other.
 
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