South Hadley,MA Phoebe Prince 15 kills self over bullying

[burbqueen]

I just dont know what to say, but seriously there are whole communities that thrive on this mentality of kicking the little person down. The parents gloat about how great his or her jerk son or spoiled bratty daughter gets everything and how popular they are. These depraved parents live thru their kids.

They treat social events like it some sort of competition. The are arrogant, out of touch and raising kids who feel entitled to everything. I grew up in an affluent suburb and thank god the teasing I experience stopped around 10th grade, but I knew kids that I felt sorry for that were so excluded and seemed sad. But if you stuck up for that kid then the heat would move to you too.

I hope my kid doesnt experience anything like that. Or if he does at least tell me what is going on. I think most kids get embarrassed about involving parents. But for teacher, parents and other students to know what was going on and no one told her parents is just an outrage to me. why?

 

[kk's mom]

This story upsets me so much I just want to cry everytime I read what this poor girl went through. I hate bullies and I hate that nothing is ever done about it.

What makes me more scared and worried is KK and I are moving to my fiancee's home in the summer. She will be a new student with incoming freshman into the high school (9th grade) in September. She'll be coming in with other new middle school students (3 schools of 8th graders merge into this freshman class). She's be playing fall sports so she'll have practices all summer long and will get to meet some of the girls on the team and form friendships over the summer. I am worried though. Kids are so different these days.........She's a great kid though, very outgoing, very kind to others.......

Any words of advice from anyone in same situation?

 

[Paladine]

Mulveyhill was charged for harassing. Word is, unconfirmed, rumor-kind of "word" ...after he broke up with her, he turned on her...

The other boy, Austin, iirc, wasn't charged with harassing, he had only the statutory rape charge.

 

[LinasK]

This and your other one about scratching your bullies gave me a doubletake, we're so alike!

I was also scrawny and an easy target, plus I was sort of dreamy, didn't like to play rough games, but preferred to draw or read at recess.
Luckily, most of it ended by 7th grade, when it probably would have been more hurtful, with all the angst of puberty and all.

It does seem worse these days though, and I keep wondering why... what is the difference? Sad to say, I don't think the sort of thing this poor girl went through is new. But we are seeing others that go way beyond what used to be, AFAIK, like the savage beatings, rapes, and setting kids on fire. :no:

I guess it could be a matter of those cases adding to the totality of our perception of the problem, along with the suicides and revenge-killings... all make our generation less willing to sweep it under the rug as it was before.

If only everyone would get the memo.

The difference between when it happened to us and now is the Internet. It did not yet exist, so there was no cyber-bullying in existence. I do believe that with the added publicity of mass-shootings like Columbine, society as a whole has become desensitized to violence, and therefore it has become more acceptable. I strongly disagree with parents whose attitude is let the kids duke it out! What happens when one kid is smaller/not trained to fight, as in my case? Does the victim deserve to get pummeled again???:hand::snooty:

 

[LinasK]

This story upsets me so much I just want to cry everytime I read what this poor girl went through. I hate bullies and I hate that nothing is ever done about it.

What makes me more scared and worried is KK and I are moving to my fiancee's home in the summer. She will be a new student with incoming freshman into the high school (9th grade) in September. She'll be coming in with other new middle school students (3 schools of 8th graders merge into this freshman class). She's be playing fall sports so she'll have practices all summer long and will get to meet some of the girls on the team and form friendships over the summer. I am worried though. Kids are so different these days.........She's a great kid though, very outgoing, very kind to others.......

Any words of advice from anyone in same situation?

Actually, a new school (Jr. High in 7th grade) is when my bullying stopped, because suddenly, now that we were merged with 3 other schools, and the bullies were 7th grade "scrubs" themselves, they were nobodies with no power!

 

[Paladine]

This story upsets me so much I just want to cry everytime I read what this poor girl went through. I hate bullies and I hate that nothing is ever done about it.

What makes me more scared and worried is KK and I are moving to my fiancee's home in the summer. She will be a new student with incoming freshman into the high school (9th grade) in September. She'll be coming in with other new middle school students (3 schools of 8th graders merge into this freshman class). She's be playing fall sports so she'll have practices all summer long and will get to meet some of the girls on the team and form friendships over the summer. I am worried though. Kids are so different these days.........She's a great kid though, very outgoing, very kind to others.......

Any words of advice from anyone in same situation?

I've found getting involved helps. Find social clubs that other students in your district might be attending. Some youth groups from churches are good, imo, if you're into that. But check it out, check people out, I remember the Huckabees! Be the house where the sleepovers happen. Be the parent that arranges get-togethers. This weekend I'll have 8 teen girls in my basement...lol...but it's worth the trouble knowing they're safe.

 

[Linda7NJ]

It says here,

Sean Mulveyhill, 17, of South Hadley. Charged with statutory rape, violation of civil rights with bodily injury resulting, criminal harassment and disturbance of a school assembly.
​

ahhhhhh! Thank you!

 

[Linda7NJ]

I've found getting involved helps. Find social clubs that other students in your district might be attending. Some youth groups from churches are good, imo, if you're into that. But check it out, check people out, I remember the Huckabees! Be the house where the sleepovers happen. Be the parent that arranges get-togethers. This weekend I'll have 8 teen girls in my basement...lol...but it's worth the trouble knowing they're safe.

I totally agree! My son friends are always at my house. If they're not here, it's because I'm driving them all somewhere. I know them all very well....a little too well. Not a night goes by when atleast one of them isn't here for dinner! I've earned their respect and trust and they've earned mine.

 

[Paladine]

They might also have confessed to it up front, when first interviewed by police.

I think you're right, too. They likely bragged to so many, rumor spread, hard to deny when speaking to police. And they might have figured, "why lie"...not thinking of statutory rape...

 

[Linda7NJ]

I think you're right, too. They likely bragged to so many, rumor spread, hard to deny when speaking to police. And they might have figured, "why lie"...not thinking of statutory rape...

The idiots probably used it as a lame defense. See, she was a *advertiser censored* and deserved to be bullied...she had sex with me and him....

 

[stmarysmead]

For some reason, this case reminds me of one years ago...two bright students from Texas in a "relationship." One was later to enroll at Annapolis and the other at the Air Force Academy. He briefly flirted with another, younger girl...and together they killed this girl to make things right between them.

I wonder if the same dynamic wasn't at work here. To make amends with Kayla, Sean Mulveyhill had to help her torment the girl that briefly came between them. Perhaps he referenced their sexual encounter(s) in some of his texts or emails tormenting Phoebe...and there is the "proof" of statutory rape. A minor under 16 cannot by law "consent."

These two were the Football captain and his popular, Lacrosse star girlfriend...other wannabee "friends" would try to up the cruelty even more to be "accpted" by these two.

They well may have been favorites of the faculty and staff, or their parents may be prominent in the community. This new girl was a nobody. Therefore the staff tolerated Phoebe being tormented day after day, month after month...as just ..oh my! "relationship problems."

 

[elle1919]

I might have missed it somewhere in the thread, not too mention I have been busy with life the past two days. Do we know if Phoebe's parents are still in this community or have they moved? I worry about the sister who found Phoebe and am keeping her in my prayers.

 

[elle1919]

For some reason, this case eeminds me of one years ago...two bright students from Texas in a "relationship." One was later to enroll at Annapolis and the other at the Air Force Academy. He briefly flirted with another, younger girl...and together they killed this girl to make things right between them.

I wonder if the same dynamic wasn't at work here. To make amends with Kayla, Sean Mulveyhill had to help her torment the girl that briefly came between them. Perhaps he referenced their sexual encounter(s) in some of his texts or emails tormenting Phoebe...and there is the "proof" of statutory rape. A minor under 16 cannot by law "consent."

These two were the Football captain and his popular, Lacrosse star girlfriend...other wannabee "friends" would try to up the cruelty even more to be "accpted" bu these two.

They well may have been favorites of the faculty and staff, or their parents may be prominent in the community. This new girl was a nobody. Therefore the staff tolerated Phoebe being tormented day after day, month after month...as just ..oh my! "relationship problems."

I have to wonder if you are remembering the D Graham, D Zomora case and the murder of Adrienne Jones? I think that was Texas as well. It has been quite awhile though so maybe not.

 

[stmarysmead]

I might have missed it somewhere in the thread, not too mention I have been busy with life the past two days. Do we know if Phoebe's parents are still in this community or have they moved? I worry about the sister who found Phoebe and am keeping her in my prayers.

In several articles, they mentioned they have moved away.

 

[stmarysmead]

I have to wonder if you are remembering the D Graham, D Zomora case and the murder of Adrienne Jones? I think that was Texas as well. It has been quite awhile though so maybe not.

Yes, thank you. I couldn't remember the names.

 

[Paladine]

For some reason, this case reminds me of one years ago...two bright students from Texas in a "relationship." One was later to enroll at Annapolis and the other at the Air Force Academy. He briefly flirted with another, younger girl...and together they killed this girl to make things right between them.

I wonder if the same dynamic wasn't at work here. To make amends with Kayla, Sean Mulveyhill had to help her torment the girl that briefly came between them. Perhaps he referenced their sexual encounter(s) in some of his texts or emails tormenting Phoebe...and there is the "proof" of statutory rape. A minor under 16 cannot by law "consent."

These two were the Football captain and his popular, Lacrosse star girlfriend...other wannabee "friends" would try to up the cruelty even more to be "accpted" by these two.

They well may have been favorites of the faculty and staff, or their parents may be prominent in the community. This new girl was a nobody. Therefore the staff tolerated Phoebe being tormented day after day, month after month...as just ..oh my! "relationship problems."

THAT is exactly how I'm thinking...perfect post, imo... and bullying and disparaging Phoebe got him back in with Narly and gang. If so...what a loser.

 

[burbqueen]

Yeah, Texas. I live here, tell me about it!!! Very into cliques in some parts. Especially the wealthier suburbs.

She was such a pretty girl. I just wish someone would have told her that high school isnt forever. Such potential just wasted. Are the parents of the accused saying anything???

 

[Brian Seaman]

For anyone interested, I've written about this from both a personal perspective, and also drawing on my work experience as a Canadian human rights/civil liberties expert. You can read my article, "Requiem in Pacem, Phoebe Prince; One Person Can Make a Difference", at: http://brianseaman.blogspot.com/2010/03/requiem-in-pacem-phoebe-prince-one.html

 

[SuziQ]

THAT is exactly how I'm thinking...perfect post... and bullying and disparaging Phoebe got him back in with Narly and gang. If so...what a loser.

That's a pretty typical love triangle scenario. Seems like there are a couple of cases a year where the third party pays with their life. Something like this almost happened to my DD a few months after she graduated from HS. A football player from the University of Utah dumped his long time University of Utah soccer playin GF (they were also highschool jock sweethearts) because he wanted to date my DD. My daughter only wanted to be friends and broke off the friendship when he turned into a stalker. He gets back with soccer playin GF and he tells his GF my DD persued him and ruined his life. They both start emailing and texting my DD detailed torture and death threats. They are about the scariest things I've read ever!!! It was all because Football player wanted to get back into the good graces of soccer playin GF. I know my DD and these people were all adults, but it didn't stop me from contacting and fowarding the threatening emails to the coaches and parents so they'd all know what their darlings were up to. The coaches were very helpful and I thanked them up and down. I said I was so pleased with their response that I wouldn't have to contact the press, my lawyer or LE. Dead silence on the other end then an "oh yeah, no problem! My DD never had a problem with these people again.

 

[Belinda]

Hi Everyone -

I've been lurking for some time now, but just finally signed up and started posting today.

Every time I see a story like this it brings back such horrifying memories. I was systematically, endlessly bullied for many years of school. The teachers and administration were fully aware and did nothing. As I had an abusive, alcoholic father, I learned to duck early and never fought back which made me the perfect target. They would make things up that I supposedly said so they would have a new reason to come after me. I can't begin to communicate the sheer terror I lived in. When I finally told my mother what was happening, she asked me what I had done. I swore to her I had done nothing and she said "Well, you must have done something." She never even contacted the school.

It hurts my soul to know this is still going on in schools and still nothing is being done about it. Feeling safe is such a basic need in life. It is up to the school and it is up to the parents to teach these kids the right way to deal with disagreements. There is no way this happened to this degree and no one knew anything about it. It's not possible. So, they ignored it as they did with me. I contemplated suicide so many times back then. When you are in that situation, it is hard to look through it and see a future. My heart is broken for this beautiful girl who deserved so much better in our country.