Everything is easy if there is will to change.
Life is too short to live in torment.
Not to mention the fate of children in such relationships.
What role models have they got?
Women are no more totally dependent on men in today's world.
There are organisations helping victims of abuse.
One has to help oneself.
And fight.
And ask for help.
JMO
These type of relationships don't start off as toxic. Or, at least, they don't appear that way to the one being abused.
This is partly because people with abusive personality types are adept at targeting those who are vulnerable through low self esteem or, perhaps because they themselves grew up in an abusive family so know no different.
The abusive, dominant , one then slowly chips away at the other's sense of self worth: they're stupid, unattractive, fat, lazy etc. No-one else would ever love them... until the weaker partner doesn't believe they can survive on their own.
They may still continue to see family and friends but there will be a pay-off to be made. Accusations of infidelity (while the abuser is themselves cheating), going through phones, destruction of private property and so on. There is also often financial abuse ... taking all the weaker partner's money and using it for gambling or drink or drugs. Its much harder to leave someone if you have no money.
I say none of this in defence of FB per se ... I just wanted to offer a little insight into how people get sucked into toxic relationships and why they stay, even though it seems incomprehensible (and immensely frustrating) to outsiders.
Disclaimer, in the interests of transparency: I have a close female relative who was in an abusive relationship for 12 years. She managed to separate 4 times and then get sucked back in. The 5th time was the charm - the average for abused women is 8.
www.mirror.co.uk
