Im horrified (and hesitant) to say this is my Uncle. Due to a messy split between my parents and an eventual cross-state move, I havent been very close to this side of my family since I was a pre-teen. And due to a bit of mild estrangement with my father, I hadnt heard about any of this until a couple of weeks ago. One of my younger siblings made a passing comment about Uncle Chris being held on a million dollars bail, I responded with a high-pitched What?!, but then I became distracted by explaining the workings of and reasons for bail to my other sibling. The thought was pushed to the back of my mind, as this was the first real time Id gotten to spend with this part of my family in a few years.
It wasnt until I was reading a totally unrelated article about a crime and the bail set that the conversation came back to me.
I had been curious about what could constitute that hefty of a number for bail. I Googled as I am wont to do when curious, and this was the first link I clicked. I have since perused others, many others. And I am still rather shell-shocked and gaping.
It would be easy if this was a stranger. Even as someone blood related I can hardly think past the word monster in my mind, but it becomes difficult to reconcile this with reality. The Uncle I remember as a child was kind to me, shared his sweets from his lunch, and gave me odd jobs to do when I was waiting for my dad to be off of work. He was awkward and a bit impatient with my goofy hyperactivity, but never had an unkind thing to say.
To try and transpose someone that you loved, even with the innocence and naïveté that a child holds towards their family, to a monster who could be so vile is difficult. Not impossible, though, as I am not one to be caught up in denial. I heard enough wild stories, whispered disappointment, and angry jeers from family over the last ten years or so that while I was horrified, surprised and disgusted beyond belief to find this, I was not disbelieving when I read this. I would never have expected him capable of something like this (I have trouble believing ANYONE is, and every time I hear a story like this it is like a punch to the gut that people can do such things), but I cannot help but feel resigned in my horror.
Finding out something this awful has reminded me that, no matter how vile the crime, no matter how disturbed and sick the criminal
there are always more facets. There is a family behind the criminal who suffers in their own way, and a person behind the reprehensible acts who has loved, lived, and interacted with a multitude of people.
I think I preferred not being reminded, because the mirror of this is that every person, no matter how kindly, could possibly be a monster underneath. I'm not so paranoid that I will now doubt everyone I know, as this isn't a new revelation, just an uncomfortable reminder. To call this disconcerting is an understatement.
I feel so sorry for this girl, both because of the kinds of things she felt she had to do and because of the horror she went through. I feel sorry for her family for the pain and this surely caused, though I find myself hoping this was a wakeup call for them so that this never, EVER happens again. I feel sorry for my own family for this, for the confusion that those closer to this situation and to Chris must surely feel, for the denial, fear, or downright horror I am sure they felt.
