GUILTY WA - Hana Williams, 13, Sedro-Woolley, 12 May 2011

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I, for one, am not "cushioning" the actions of the adoptive parents in the least. Their actions are reprehensible. I hope justice is done as they essentially killed a child and encouraged their older children to take part. I am very very tired of seeing this scenario play out over and over again.

Older child, special needs, and international adoption should be a wonderful experience for all involved and it often is. However, to be successful, parents MUST go in with their eyes open and be prepared for years, if not decades of settling in. They should not ever be tempted nor permitted to "train up a child" a la Michael Pearl, IMO.

The old adage applies here for all parents, I think. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

And on the way out call for help for the children!!
 
This is just AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL. So sad for that poor sweet beautiful girl. :(
 
If anyone is interested in comparing some different cases with a plethora of similarities, here's our thread on the recent case of neglect and abuse of the Trebilcock children, also from Washington state:

WA~Trebilcocks arrested for singling out 5 adopted children for neglect/starvation - Websleuths Crime Sleuthing Community



For some reason I cannot find our thread on little Lydia Schatz's death in California but here's an article and timeline concerning her:

http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/42488

And here's the website for Michael Pearl's "No Greater Joy" website:

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/
 
Missizzy said:
I, for one, am not "cushioning" the actions of the adoptive parents in the least. Their actions are reprehensible. I hope justice is done as they essentially killed a child and encouraged their older children to take part. I am very very tired of seeing this scenario play out over and over again.

Older child, special needs, and international adoption should be a wonderful experience for all involved and it often is. However, to be successful, parents MUST go in with their eyes open and be prepared for years, if not decades of settling in. They should not ever be tempted nor permitted to "train up a child" a la Michael Pearl, IMO.

The old adage applies here for all parents, I think. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

And on the way out call for help for the children!!
Click to expand...

Missizzy, I appreciate what you're doing/have done to educate us on adoption. I spent quite a while reading the links you provided. Thank you.

I've concluded international adoptions should be stopped, period. The culture shock is too great, both for the child, and the adoptive parents. No matter how "bad" it may be in the child's native country, I believe it's preferable to being torn away from everything that child has ever known, thrust into a strange family with completely unfamiliar rules and social mores. It is far better, in my opinion, for a country to keep their children/orphans in the place of their birth.

Look at it from the other side for just a minute. How well would your children fare if they were exported from Mayberry, U.S.A. by a family in Ethopia, to live in a village with cultural/societal rules developed over the centuries? I truly believe most children do better, if not well, in the country where they were born, in a society they understand.

My opinion only
 
Trident--Did you read the article? I'd never seen it before. He's far more "unique" than I even guessed. If I had to say, he sounds as if he's on the spectrum and merely makes declarations from a vaulted position. It's very sad that so many people revere him. It took my breath away to read the statistics concerning the home-schooled Christian child and his books. I don't know where they're getting their numbers but that's more than a bit worrisome to me.
 
Thank you, Trident, for spending the time to read the links. It's important for everyone to have these facts, not just adoption workers or parents. After two gloriously successful adoptions from South Korea and one sadly failed adoption from Haiti, we made the decision to concentrate on US waiting children. There are so many fabulous and vibrant children literally right under our noses!!

I agree with you that children belong in their families of origin--if at all possible and in their countries of origin--if at all possible. That's what's so important about a country belonging to the Hague Adoption Convention. Membership requires proof that your country is doing all it can to reunify children with their birth families or to place within the country. There's still so much work to be done. Even in a country as incredibly evolved as South Korea, single motherhood is strongly frowned upon and there are very few services. So, there will always be a place for international adoption but it should be the last resort.

It's been enriching to watch our two young ladies (now 25 and 27) become interested in the culture and politics of their home country. One is visiting there later this year as her best friend, also a Korean adoptee, teaches there and has reunited with her birthfather. So often loving adoptive parents forget that their child's heritage reaches far back before their arrival day in the US. They carry an imprinted memory of their mothers, their families and their culture. We cannot forget that.

Can anyone tell me why our thread on Lydia Schatz of Paradise, CA, the sweet little girl from Ethiopia who died an almost identical death as Hana, has disappeared? That thread had many fine posts about the failures of the Michael Pearl system of discipline.
 
Missizzy said:
Thank you, Trident, for spending the time to read the links. It's important for everyone to have these facts, not just adoption workers or parents. After two gloriously successful adoptions from South Korea and one sadly failed adoption from Haiti, we made the decision to concentrate on US waiting children. There are so many fabulous and vibrant children literally right under our noses!!

I agree with you that children belong in their families of origin--if at all possible and in their countries of origin--if at all possible. That's what's so important about a country belonging to the Hague Adoption Convention. Membership requires proof that your country is doing all it can to reunify children with their birth families or to place within the country. There's still so much work to be done. Even in a country as incredibly evolved as South Korea, single motherhood is strongly frowned upon and there are very few services. So, there will always be a place for international adoption but it should be the last resort.

It's been enriching to watch our two young ladies (now 25 and 27) become interested in the culture and politics of their home country. One is visiting there later this year as her best friend, also a Korean adoptee, teaches there and has reunited with her birthfather. So often loving adoptive parents forget that their child's heritage reaches far back before their arrival day in the US. They carry an imprinted memory of their mothers, their families and their culture. We cannot forget that.
Can anyone tell me why our thread on Lydia Schatz of Paradise, CA, the sweet little girl from Ethiopia who died an almost identical death as Hana, has disappeared? That thread had many fine posts about the failures of the Michael Pearl system of discipline.
Click to expand...

BBM I believe the bolded part is something many forget, if they ever knew it. You summed up nicely part of what I was trying to say.
 
Missizzy said:
Trident--Did you read the article? I'd never seen it before. He's far more "unique" than I even guessed. If I had to say, he sounds as if he's on the spectrum and merely makes declarations from a vaulted position. It's very sad that so many people revere him. It took my breath away to read the statistics concerning the home-schooled Christian child and his books. I don't know where they're getting their numbers but that's more than a bit worrisome to me.
Click to expand...

No, I didn't read anything on that site. When I saw his pic I knew what kind of critter he was, been dealing with them most of my "religious" life. Part of his charisma is the fact that many Christian families are looking for a father figure, a law-giver, someone to follow. So, this guy has a full beard, an authoritative voice, an adoring wife (all smiles), a few testimonials, and we have another Dr. Spock. He ruined the children one way, this guy is doing it the other. As long as their are gullible, insecure people, we will have authorities, and gurus for better or worse - usually for the worse.
 
hanna_skagit0929[1].grid-6x2.jpg


Hanna Williams, 13, is seen in an image from KING 5.
 
I checked out the family home on Google maps and it's a gorgeous piece of property. Perfect for a large family who is home-schooling. It was also plenty large enough for a nanny to help with the children, so the parents didn't become overwhelmed. She obviously was going downhill, given the weight loss and her depressed state. Why didn't her pastor step in to help, her group of knitting and/or church friends, the placing agency? If the family didn't want help, why didn't some of those who were interviewed and who admitted to seeing strange things with these two children make the call?

Something is broken here and it's not just that two parents snapped.
 
I double checked with my husband, who is a contractor and the following photo is what Michael Pearl advises parents to hit their children with. If anyone knows how to paste it here, I'd appreciate it. Under the age of one, a ruler or a tree branch is suggested. After one, it's the plumbing line and it is advised that it be displayed in a prominent place at all times. Several parents on the No Longer Quivering site have mentioned that the line was supposed to always be on the parent's person or displayed in the family car--always within ready reach. There's only one reason that could be. It's like a tissue or a bottle of water. It needs to be handy at all times. But unlike a tissue which gently cleanses a child or water which quenches thirst, the plumbing line is distinctly intended to instill fear. I believe that Carri Williams carried hers in her bra. This following site has a photo of the plumbing line:

http://freejinger.yuku.com/topic/3683#.Tov2GWBqIlc

Scroll down to Post #3. And imagine that being whacked against knees, elbows, wrists and thighs--especially when you are a slender little girl who's recently lost a good deal of weight. Lydia Schatz was beaten for hours when she mispronounced a word. Her little organs simply shut down. Hana suffered from the beatings (by both parents and older siblings), isolation, cold showers, degradation of the toileting situation, deprivation of warm meals and of warm clothing. The child didn't have a chance.

FWIW, I highly recommend that anyone interested read the 2006 article link I provided upthread. It is most telling. And here's another fine commentary on the murder and possible link to the parent training:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_facto...sophy_of_how_to_train_up_a_child_lead_to.html

"....Kids are not mules and so are not likely to respond well to this kind of regime, especially when they—like Hana—enter the program later than infancy. When a thinking, mistake-making, defenseless human being comes into conflict with this impossible prison of expectation, tension is bound to result. Combine this with the frightening isolation that the Pearls' brand of homeschooling produces, and you’ve got a dangerous brew indeed—one that, in Hana’s case, proved deadly....

Couldn't have said it better myself. A right-thinking parent--one with an understanding of the difference between authoritative and authoritarian child rearing and one with empathy for human suffering, would toss this book in the garbage. I liken it to someone writing a book concerning how much better babies sleep and how much more refreshed families can be if the baby's milk is doused with laudanum day in and day out. Yes, it works. That baby will sleep. But is it kind, human, healthy or celebratory of life's developmental stages? I don't think so.

However, you take a family in crisis where an adoptive placement is teetering and resentment is growing on all sides--the parents, the child, the siblings--all of a sudden that plumbing line or that laudanum (or Benadryl) starts to look mighty good. After all, tens of thousands of these books have been sold. There must be some good outcomes, right?
 
Trident said:
Missizzy, I appreciate what you're doing/have done to educate us on adoption. I spent quite a while reading the links you provided. Thank you.

I've concluded international adoptions should be stopped, period. The culture shock is too great, both for the child, and the adoptive parents. No matter how "bad" it may be in the child's native country, I believe it's preferable to being torn away from everything that child has ever known, thrust into a strange family with completely unfamiliar rules and social mores. It is far better, in my opinion, for a country to keep their children/orphans in the place of their birth.

Look at it from the other side for just a minute. How well would your children fare if they were exported from Mayberry, U.S.A. by a family in Ethopia, to live in a village with cultural/societal rules developed over the centuries? I truly believe most children do better, if not well, in the country where they were born, in a society they understand.

My opinion only
Click to expand...

As an adoptive mother of 6 adopted and 2 biological, I could not disagree more! I have spent months in both Africa and India and you can ask any of my 6 kids who are from both countries some even adopted as teens what they think.

The reason that none of my children would not do well dropped off in Ethiopia is because they have a family here!! If they did not, then a loving family in Ethiopia would be preferable to no family here in the states! There are approx. 40 million orphans around the world and while a biological or adoptive family in their country is absolutely the best and most desired circumstance it is not always possible or available. I took great care to make sure that my children were not only "true orphans." In addition, I only used orphanages that went to great care to find families in that particular country and had proof of such action. In fact, in India children have to wait a considerable amount of time just to make sure that all possibilities have been exhausted before being placed for international adoption. Beyond that, those children if not adopted face a bleak life and will likely die at a very early age. It is easy for us to read a few bad stories or situations and sit in our comfy HUGE western homes with families to love us, food to eat, clothes to wear and say, "nope, those kids are better off in their countries." Starving, on the streets with the only hope being in the sex slave trade for girls especially in India and African countries?? THAT is NOT what is best!!!! There are thousands of legitimate adoptions that happen every year that have wonderful outcomes. We just don't hear about them, because they are not sensational stories!! Bottom line: EVERY child deserves a home and sometimes that is outside of their birth country! More laws and restrictions in our country will help to make children safer and to stop or curb abuse, but abuse happens in every country to both adopted and bio kids and will likely always exist as it always has. International adoption is not going to stop if Americans are upset or try to stop it, because we are not the only country that participates or adopts internationally (many Europeans countries adopt from Asia, Africa, China and Eastern Europe) and we can't stop it, nor should we, but we can help to make it better! An orphanage in a country is not preferable to a family and neither a starving dead child is preferable to an adopted one and THAT is the reality. Orphans can deal with a little culture shock. That is the least of their problems and in your mind you are comparing them to our privileged spoiled American kids who know very little about the reality of life in a third world country. My kids have always been extremely grateful and extremely happy to have a family!!

It is a simple and selfish answer to "look the other way", sentence children to a life without a family and with no hope. Most never ever have to look it in the face but we are comfortable in our safe little lives and are not comfortable with the very few bad stories that are out there. Stopping adoption internationally is another aspect of blame that will not help or stop this problem. imo

jfyi: When we adopted, we saw ourselves as becoming African and Indian and we embraced those cultures and countries as if we ourselves had been born to them. We continue to visit those countries, volunteer in them and make our home look, sound, smell and seem like they are Indian and African. Our children know that we not only do we love them, we love their country and their people and make every attempt to connect with their culture because it is forever a part of our family. There are many people from every country around the world that live in the United States and there are many opportunities to connect our children to those countries. We do not need to live in a vacuum and our children need not feel isolated from people from their countries. Just so you know, we are not a novelty or the only adoptive family that lives this way, it is just not that interesting to make the headlines, but it did recently land our family on tv on a talk show relating our experience on adoption. Our children are forever grateful to get to have and keep their culture AND have a family and they love "going home" when we volunteer in their country of birth. :)
 
rockin10 said:
As an adoptive mother of 6 adopted and 2 biological, I could not disagree more! I have spent months in both Africa and India and you can ask any of my 6 kids who are from both countries some even adopted as teens what they think.

The reason that none of my children would not do well dropped off in Ethiopia is because they have a family here!! If they did not, then a loving family in Ethiopia would be preferable to no family here in the states! There are approx. 40 million orphans around the world and while a biological or adoptive family in their country is absolutely the best and most desired circumstance it is not always possible or available. I took great care to make sure that my children were not only "true orphans." In addition, I only used orphanages that went to great care to find families in that particular country and had proof of such action. In fact, in India children have to wait a considerable amount of time just to make sure that all possibilities have been exhausted before being placed for international adoption. Beyond that, those children if not adopted face a bleak life and will likely die at a very early age. It is easy for us to read a few bad stories or situations and sit in our comfy HUGE western homes with families to love us, food to eat, clothes to wear and say, "nope, those kids are better off in their countries." Starving, on the streets with the only hope being in the sex slave trade for girls especially in India and African countries?? THAT is NOT what is best!!!! There are thousands of legitimate adoptions that happen every year that have wonderful outcomes. We just don't hear about them, because they are not sensational stories!! Bottom line: EVERY child deserves a home and sometimes that is outside of their birth country! More laws and restrictions in our country will help to make children safer and to stop or curb abuse, but abuse happens in every country to both adopted and bio kids and will likely always exist as it always has. International adoption is not going to stop if Americans are upset or try to stop it, because we are not the only country that participates or adopts internationally (many Europeans countries adopt from Asia, Africa, China and Eastern Europe) and we can't stop it, nor should we, but we can help to make it better! An orphanage in a country is not preferable to a family and neither a starving dead child is preferable to an adopted one and THAT is the reality. Orphans can deal with a little culture shock. That is the least of their problems and in your mind you are comparing them to our privileged spoiled American kids who no very little about the reality of life in a third world country. My kids have always been extremely grateful and extremely happy to have a family!!

It is a simple and selfish answer to "look the other way", sentence children to a life without a family and with no hope. Most never ever have to look it in the face but we are comfortable in our safe little lives and are not comfortable with the very few bad stories that are out there. Stopping adoption internationally is another aspect of blame that will not help or stop this problem. imo

jfyi: When we adopted, we saw ourselves as becoming African and Indian and we embraced those cultures and countries as if we ourselves had been born to them. We continue to visit those countries, volunteer in them and make our home look, sound, smell and seem like they are Indian and African. Our children know that we not only do we love them, we love their country and their people and make every attempt to connect with their culture because it is forever a part of our family. There are many people from every country around the world that live in the United States and there are many opportunities to connect our children to those countries. We do not need to live in a vacuum and our children need not feel isolated from people from their countries. Just so you know, we are not a novelty or the only adoptive family that lives this way, it is just not that interesting to make the headlines, but it did recently land our family on tv on a talk show relating our experience on adoption. Our children are forever grateful to get to have and keep their culture AND have a family and they love "going home" when we volunteer in their country of birth. :)
Click to expand...

Thank you very much for sharing such a beautiful life! I would say God Bless you but he already has and you've passed it on to others!

Give your babies a hug for me and tell them to hug you back!
 
I agree with much of what you say Rockin10 and am highly impressed that you were so careful to adopt from only reputable agencies. I feel blessed to have two wonderful young women adopted from Korea. If I would have known then what I know now, though, I would have never gone through with it. These young women are the heart of my heart and their birthmothers relinquished them with hopes of placements in the US. However, I cannot brook with any child feeling any sort of gratitude towards their parent/parents or host country. That, IMO, is simply not part of a healthy life-view.

Nothing has ever given me more pride than when my 21 year old Korean born daughter had her birth name, Jin Ah, given to her by her biological mother, tattooed on her back. That is her heritage. Those are her roots. She doesn't choose to "search" but she honors her beginnings. She chooses to call me her mother (Mommy, actually) and I am honored. But I was the interloper. They were the unexpected gift. And I am forever humbled.

As far as my domestically born children, also of another race and culture, I was merely there when they needed me. I'm honored by their love also. My husband and I have certainly added to the richness of their lives but we are not their heritage. It is by their choice only that they embrace us. A love forged through adoption is a beautiful thing but one which is wrought in pain and loss.
 
Missizzy said:
I agree with much of what you say Rockin10 and am highly impressed that you were so careful to adopt from only reputable agencies. I feel blessed to have two wonderful young women adopted from Korea. If I would have known then what I know now, though, I would have never gone through with it. These young women are the heart of my heart and their birthmothers relinquished them with hopes of placements in the US. However, I cannot brook with any child feeling any sort of gratitude towards their parent/parents or host country. That, IMO, is simply not part of a healthy life-view.

Nothing has ever given me more pride than when my 21 year old Korean born daughter had her birth name, Jin Ah, given to her by her biological mother, tattooed on her back. That is her heritage. Those are her roots. She doesn't choose to "search" but she honors her beginnings. She chooses to call me her mother (Mommy, actually) and I am honored. But I was the interloper. They were the unexpected gift. And I am forever humbled.

As far as my domestically born children, also of another race and culture, I was merely there when they needed me. I'm honored by their love also. My husband and I have certainly added to the richness of their lives but we are not their heritage. It is by their choice only that they embrace us. A love forged through adoption is a beautiful thing but one which is wrought in pain and loss.
Click to expand...


I think I understand what you are saying about a child being grateful, like they have some sort of favor and "have to feel grateful." I understand and see how in the wrong situation that could be unhealthy, but just so you know, my biological sons feel the same way. We, as a family, all feel lucky and feel like we are a gift to one another. Their (my kids) gratefulness is one of gratefulness to have a family and for that I am deeply grateful to my mother as well. We always talk about it and represent it, that we are all equally lucky and grateful to have a family to live, love and grow in.

Most real orphans already know pain and loss. While I am there to help to deal with the pain and loss it is also my role to help them see the gift of life and family and their culture and embracing life's possibilities for them. While I am not born into their heritage, I have chosen to adopt that as well and I no longer see myself as just an American. I see myself as Indian, African and American. As a mother to children of that heritage I need to try to understand and know as much as I can about their culture to better understand and raise a child of another culture. I now have many friends that are Indian and African in the States and in their birth countries. One of my Indian daughters was 14 when we adopted her. Both of her parents had died extremely tragic deaths, in addition to one brother and sister, only having one brother left who could not care for her. She had been living in a place called a Remand home. She was given one meal of rice a day, no under clothes, no pillow, no bed, no extra clothes, no shoes, no outside privileges where physical abuse, disease, and sexual abuse among the girls was extremely high. She was expecting a life on the streets and was absolutely terrified. Adopting a teenager was not easy, at all, but totally worth it. She is an extremely grateful person, but not in an unhealthy way, as if she owes us something. She is grateful for a life, for opportunity and for a family (I am grateful for those same things in my life). She is completely and totally Indian, not American. She even still has her accent almost 7 years later. She would like an arranged marriage to an Indian. I have taken a lot of flack from my friends, that once she is done with college, if she still wants that, I will help arrange it for her, as do most all parents in India. When questioned about it, I always tell people, "When I adopted a teen from India, I became and Indian mom. I have an obligation to my daughter to try to meet her needs, even her cultural needs the very best that I possibly can. If she needs and expects this from me, then I will do my best." In India 90% or higher of the population participate in arranged marriages and while we in the U.S. can't begin to understand it, I have to. My 19 year old niece has tried to talk her out of it, but she is resolute that that is what she wants. I have talked to a few friends in India so I will know what I need to do and what is expected of me, plus what I am allowed to do so I can look out for her.

All that to say, gratefulness can and should be healthy gratitude that everyone should have when we have been blessed with a family AND while you may not be their bio mom, you can give it your best effort to love and take on their culture the very best you can. That is what I have tried to do. :)
 
An update:

http://www.nwcn.com/news/Skagit-Cou...ilty-in-death-of-adopted-child-131233344.html

Skagit County couple pleads not guilty in death of adopted daughter
October 6, 2011

"A Sedro Wooley couple accused of torturing and starving their adopted 13-year-old daughter to death pleaded not guilty in court Thursday. A judge set bail at $150,000 each for both Carri and Larry Williams. Investigators believe the couple repeatedly starved and beat Hana Williams, a girl they adopted from Ethiopia, and charged both with asasult of a child and homicide by abuse. A pretrial hearing has been set for November 3. Larry Williams, 47, has been a Boeing employee for 26 years. Eight of the couple's other children have been placed into foster care.

Hana was found dead in her backyard on May 12, naked and wrapped in a sheet. She had been living with her adoptive parents since coming to America from Ethiopia in 2008...."

more at link (plus court photos)
 
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