WA WA - Sky Metalwala, 2, Bellevue, 6 Nov 2011 - # 9

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jash said:
I stumbled across this article online -- supposedly an interview with JB's mom. Anyone local know if this source is legit?

"An exclusive one on one with grandmother of missing child"
http://www.thenewtakhoman.com/111411.html

JB's mom says she was interviewed by the FBI twice, mentions "Julia's problems", and talks about the family's history (coming to the US and her ex leaving her for a young prostitute).
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Wow. The apple didn't fall far from the male hating tree, did it?
 
Coldpizza said:
It's weird, on the news this AM they were featuring a Co. that cleans up after hoarders and the mental disabilities that go with. I thought really its the complete opposite in most minds of OCD but it made me wonder if it's not the same, just on the other side of the spectrum?
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Your hunch is right--hoarding is a type of OCD.
 
I rarely have time to post but I read here every day.

I have looked at EVERY photo and I see children who were very well loved and cared for by their immediate and extended families.Sky's big sister seems to treat him so lovingly...I hope that LE can interview her soon :(

While looking at the photos I do not necessarily see a bias toward one child. What I see is an elder child who initially had no camera 'competition' and whose mother clearly enjoyed dressing her up...There are many really beautiful photos of Sky.
That said, When Julia was apparently 'decompressing' where was all the extended family? Did they try to help? Where are they all now? They must be shattered...Why the silence?

I lean towards Julia being responsible. I wish we had more information on BOTH parents previous relationships though...ALL we seem to have is Solomon's word!
 
ClassyT said:
If that is true, her narcissism is inherited. She has a smidgen of the poor me syndrome as well. Uhm, how is her grandson not mentioned in there once and how is her exhusband leaving her 20 years ago relevant?
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Totally agree that Julia's mom's fixation on her marital change 20 years ago shows an unhealthy state. But, lucky for us, it IS very revealing. I do believe she was, herself, overwhelmed with her situation back then. Remember, she wasn't just summarily dumped, she was taken to a FOREIGN COUNTRY where she didn't even speak or UNDERSTAND the language (can you imagine that?) and then dumped with no job, no way to pay next months rent, no way to buy food for her kids next week, not even knowing how and where to begin to survive, REALLY survive, not just "get over being dumped".

My guess is she was forced to sort out priorities and she could not do everything. Meaning she could find a job and work hard to buy groceries and pay rent but she couldn't pay enough attention to her kids emotional needs. Julia developed some serious pathology, as we know by her sizable theft at the age of 16, probably just one of many clues that she was somewhat "unhinged".

I guess it is only natural, even if it is not good or healthy, to blame the *advertiser censored* that left her in that situation and ruined not only HER life (as she perceives it) but her daughter's life too, and now maybe even cost her grandson HIS life.

If she distances emotionally, maybe it is because it is more than she can bear.

I sense she feels enormous anger toward Julia. She's been treated very badly by her for years, according to Soloman. It seems Julia only felt "entitlement" when it came to her mom. I think her mom is trying to say in as complete a way that she can that it's not her fault.

Sure sure, in hindsight, maybe there are SOME things wherein she could have made a different choice, but really, are we about to engage in wholesale lack of empathy for this poor woman in ADDITION to Soloman? How many victims will Julia have at the end of the day, and will we allow ourselves to be Julia's battering ram??
 
Madilu said:
idk... I don't think that's all we need to know...I would never take a kid to an independent urgent care facility, which are typically even located in strip malls. The prices are typically jacked up, and limited as to insurance/provider enrollment. Often you to pay up front, then get your insurance to reimburse you. Someone earlier said they would go double distance to take their kid to Children's... I would do the same thing. When I lived in Boston, I would take the child [that I was legal/physical guardian of] to Children's Hospital hands down over the other community hospitals much closer. Best standard of care. Would not even consider a little urgent care facility. The other thing is that peeps like to go where they feel comfortable, and if her own care was there before then... has anyone discovered where the kids got care in the past, other than routine care at the homeopathic place?

Anywho, at the end of the day, I believe that all this is a mute point. She was not headed to the hospital, and he was not in the car that day. That's my opinion, of course. Undoubtedly she knew of this seemingly remote-ish stretch of road that would fit the plan to stage a kidnapping. Perhaps she did a location scout in the recent weeks. Wonder how far back they can trace pings and determine if she had been to that area recently? Thanks for reading.
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In the Chicago area our 'urgent care' facilities are associated with a particular medical group which has offices all over the Chicagoland area. The regular offices have limited hours, but the 'urgent care' facilities are limited locations of the same group of doctors with the extra hours. At least that is been my experience with the various insurance providers I've had over the years.

Thank you for sharing a bit more about how 'urgent care' is in the local area. It seems to be much different my local area.

I too agree it's a mute point and Sky was never in the car that morning. I was just curious if she bypassed an open medical facility within a short walk of her apartment.

Good to have thet local input, thanks again!
 
pferrin said:
Thank you OneLove for giving more insight.
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ditto.

OneLove, your son and dil are lucky to have had your support when they were going through this. What you described of your son and dil's troubles is very much what I imagine JB and SM experienced. Unfortunately they may not have had the luxury of a family member willing to move into their home or condo forcing SM to make the decision to move his family into his parents home. Julia's troubles and inability to seek and comply with treatment may have been too much for the extended paternal family forcing SM to make the choice of divorce.

Even if he did not divorce her, he would have still had to work still leaving her alone with the children.

Very sad situation all around and very very difficult when any mentally ill patient refuses help.
 
melissasmom said:
I'm SO glad you guys brought that up. I noticed it right away, thought I was just weird. lol I believe that M was wearing at least one pair of striped pants in the Flickr pics, possibly more.
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Have I missed some hidden meaning about stripes? I think they are super cute. Also, places like Hanna Anderson and Gymboree do a lot of stripes -especially for boys. I know, I have purchased a lot of them! I don't see the reason for a discussion about anyone dressing their boy in stripes...jmho -unless I am not "getting" some nefarious reason why you should not dress your child in stripes. ??
 
I find it interesting that Julia's mom had such resentment about a prostitute(her word)..and julia was doing the same thing on Shugar Daddies. That would be a real big slap in the face to her mom.
 
Cubby said:
ditto.

OneLove, your son and dil are lucky to have had your support when they were going through this. What you described of your son and dil's troubles is very much what I imagine JB and SM experienced. Unfortunately they may not have had the luxury of a family member willing to move into their home or condo forcing SM to make the decision to move his family into his parents home. Julia's troubles and inability to seek and comply with treatment may have been too much for the extended paternal family forcing SM to make the choice of divorce.

Even if he did not divorce her, he would have still had to work still leaving her alone with the children.

Very sad situation all around and very very difficult when any mentally ill patient refuses help.
Click to expand...

Thanks Cubby. A lot of what we are hearing about Julia's behavior has been very reminiscent of what we saw during our own experience, definitely many surreal moments.

On complying with treatment, there were many nights my very worn out son spent his last two hours of the night locked in the bathroom with his wife going over yet again why she had to take her medication. Never once did he become physically or verbally abusive, but I sure heard and saw a lot of abusive behavior from her.. The doctors did an outstanding job teaching him that she was sick and not in her right mind at that moment. Also in his preschool years I had worked with teenage girls in crisis and ran an emergency shelter, so he was practically born learning empathy, lol.

His final turning point, like Soloman's, came when she was hospitalized and STILL refused to comply with treatment. That's when he saw an attorney and told her he must, for their daughter's sake, file for divorce. The doctors, including their psychiatrists, also backed that up and said they would support HIM in his pursuit of custody. When she saw that it was really going to happen, with worlds of documentation and no possibility of Julia-esque bs, no Sugar Baby rescue lol, she finally complied with treatment. Of course, then she got better.. :). :). :).

I wish that had happened for Soloman. :( He could easily have been my son. God love him.
 
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