Who is GBC? An armchair psych discussion

[Snails]

More interesting reading:

http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/public/Appointments/article1366903.ece

"On Your Head: Psychopathic and narcissistic: you should go far"

"Narcissism is characterised by a sense of entitlement — the belief that you are made for leadership, especially talented and entitled to exploit others for your own end. It is also characterised by adolescent self-absorption and self-admiration — the belief that you are special and totally worthy of adoration."

 

[Meryl12]

The way I explained it to my sons was to trust their gut instinct, that if they see red flags don't ignore them, if they feel uncomfortable around someone then feel free to walk away - you owe them nothing. One of the key points is this - do they trust this person ? would you snoop around on your best friend or parent to find out hidden information - no, when you start feeling suspicious - when you feel the need to snoop, that's a bright red STOP sign - telling you not to trust the person.

This is a good way to explain to a child how to define to themselves that they need to keep away from another person. That is a good explanation, and one that a child can understand.
I have looked back at my own childhood and I can see which children were obviously psychopathic - although still only children.
By the time we become adults and can understand what a psychopath is, such knowledge would have saved us from a lot of trouble in the previous twenty years.

I am pleased there is a lot more public knowledge available to children - when they really need to know - and are at their most vulnerable.

 

[Opinionsgalore]

This is a good way to explain to a child how to define to themselves that they need to keep away from another person. That is a good explanation, and one that a child can understand.
I have looked back at my own childhood and I can see which children were obviously psychopathic - although still only children.
By the time we become adults and can understand what a psychopath is, such knowledge would have saved us from a lot of trouble in the previous twenty years.

I am pleased there is a lot more public knowledge available to children - when they really need to know - and are at their most vulnerable.

I can remember as a child having a very clear sense of like/don't like when it came to people, my mother thought this was a bad thing and told me I was being judgmental and unfair - but children KNOW, they have very keen senses, sadly I listened to my mother and grew up giving people chances when my gut was saying "NO". I'm past that now, I'm back to listening to my gut instinct. I think it's very empowering for the child when you tell them they have a right to walk away and that they have no need to feel guilt or shame for choosing to walk away, as adults we stay in unhealthy situations because we have a deep root of shame and guilt about walking away - it's like we tell ourselves that we are wrong to look out for ourselves, that we are being selfish, when we give children a sense of rightness about their personal decisions then we free them from walking in shame and guilt in their adult lives.

 

[Spotted Reptile]

but children KNOW, they have very keen senses

You are so right! Children do understand things at an instinctive level - many adults have forgotten how to listen to that sense that tells them something is wrong, because of the many layers of socialisation constructed over the top of that instinct. I also remember as a child thinking there was something not quite right about one of my uncles-in-law. My mother said I was being silly and rude to avoid him, but years later we found out all about him and his dirty little life.

 

[t777]

I would bet that one or more people in GBC’s circle truly saw him for what he was. If so, they would have been especially targeted for exclusion from Allison’s life. This kind of personality survives by isolating their victim from anyone who threatens to expose them.

I have first-hand experience of this, as I saw through the mask of a supposedly charismatic man, who ended up marrying a close friend. I too was initially duped: but once I recognised him for what he was (liar/fake/manipulator/grandiose/fraud), I became a very real threat to him. He targeted me in an ongoing smear campaign – and more. His script was that I was ‘jealous’ of his relationship with my friend; I ‘lied’ about my interactions with him and on and on and on.

He succeeded, for the longest time, in painting me as paranoid, and the fallout for me was significant, through lost friendships with many who insisted on believing his BS. He frightened me in a way that no one before or since has, and to this day, he is the only person I have met that I consider truly evil.

You know, once I saw through him, I could never understand why others continued to believe him. His lies and his outrageous tales…they were all so transparent to me: how could others NOT see it? He also had this really scary way of letting me know that he knew I knew the truth – almost taking delight in showing me little signs of his duplicity, but never in front of anyone else. I gave up trying to expose him. His mind games exhausted and frightened me.

I can’t help thinking that others in GBC’s circle might have experienced similar. Or that those who continue to stand by him now have been duped like so many of my friends were. For those in his/Allison’s circle who may have seen GBC for what he really was, I suspect there will be enormous relief that he has finally been exposed. But at what shocking cost?

 

[Amee]

Former FBI agent Joe ‘the human lie detector Navarro’ gives his opinion on Gerard Baden-Clay’s body language in Channel Nine interview about Allison’s disappearance

WHY WAS GERARD UNCONVINCING?

-Quick to walk away from the camera

-Doesn’t retrieve any photos of Allison or provide any information that may assist finding her

-No sense of loss. No neck touching, no downcast eyes.

-On alert. Trying to convince, not trying to convey.

-Closes eyes and has a hard time swallowing at points where he’s uncomfortable

-High-pitched tone

http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/...ns-disappearance/story-fnihsrf2-1226995310278

 

[emirates1957]

You are so right! Children do understand things at an instinctive level - many adults have forgotten how to listen to that sense that tells them something is wrong, because of the many layers of socialisation constructed over the top of that instinct. I also remember as a child thinking there was something not quite right about one of my uncles-in-law. My mother said I was being silly and rude to avoid him, but years later we found out all about him and his dirty little life.

Totally agree. My mum celebrated her 90th last weekend. Several members of her step family were invited - one in particular who I had not seen in years. I remember staying with this aunt's family during a school break, her husband invited me into their bedroom to help make the bed. I never new what red flags were at the age of 8…..however something felt wrong, to this day I cannot put my finger on it. Whilst my parents were not savvy to this sort of behaviour - nor had I have ever endured anything untoward. My instincts told me to get out. I can still remember the placement of furniture, westminster carpet, chenille bed spread - I can remember every detail of that room. Later in life it had been established that he abused his daughter for some 12 years. Unfortunately this aunt never believed her daughter's suffering.

 

[Ooohm]

Those who have never experienced such a person with open eyes, will not take the feeling of "evil" seriously, but there is no other word to describe someone who operates at a primal level to protect their base interests. Fortunately such people are a minority. But they make an impression. Not surprising emirates you remember those moments of danger so vividly.
They are a menace and to be avoided at all cost.
I am learning more about psychopaths in studying GBC.

 

[Snails]

Another interesting article regarding "shame & guilt"

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3129990/#!po=15.4762

" Conversely, serious persistent deviation from moral and societal standards is thought to reflect a fundamental impairment in the capacity to experience shame and guilt. Recent theory and research from psychology, however, call into question the noble reputation of shame. Across study after study, the propensity to experience shame has been linked not to fine, upstanding moral character and behavior, but rather to evading responsibility, blaming the victim, mismanaging anger, and, in the extreme, hostile aggression. What is this problematic shame emotion according to social-personality and clinical psychologists, and how is it different from guilt?"

 

[Amee]

ALLISON Baden-Clay’s cousin wants to create an online community for people to talk about one of society’s least talked-about problems – domestic violence.

Jodie Dann of Ipswich Women’s Centre Against Domestic Violence plans to set up the site to help victims connect with others and reach professional help.

Figures show one in three Australian women will experience domestic violence, the leading cause of premature death in females aged 15 to 44.

Ms Dann said she hoped to have a Facebook page soon.

http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/...ic-violence-site/story-fnihsrf2-1227006310512

 

[Spotted Reptile]

Another interesting article regarding "shame & guilt"

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3129990/#!po=15.4762

" Conversely, serious persistent deviation from moral and societal standards is thought to reflect a fundamental impairment in the capacity to experience shame and guilt. Recent theory and research from psychology, however, call into question the noble reputation of shame. Across study after study, the propensity to experience shame has been linked not to fine, upstanding moral character and behavior, but rather to evading responsibility, blaming the victim, mismanaging anger, and, in the extreme, hostile aggression. What is this problematic shame emotion according to social-personality and clinical psychologists, and how is it different from guilt?"

Wow, that's a complicated article. Fascinating reading, thanks Snails. I've always thought that guilt was what you felt after you'd done something wrong, but shame was more your idea of yourself as a bad person. If I feel guilty about something (did I really DO that??? - she/he must be feeling terrible!), it seems easier to repair the damage, whereas if I'm ashamed of myself, then it's really hard to look in the mirror and acknowledge it. I try to hide it away and pretend it didn't happen (I can't be that sort of person!!!!) . I guess that's where projection and aggression come from, you can't really face yourself.

 

[Amee]

Very sad but interesting story on Adelaide Today Tonight. The link to the story should be up on their website soon.
Featured were Allison, GBC, Maria and Joe Korp and Carolyn and Kevin Matthews.

Tonight ... The husbands who kill… According to psychologist Dr Jack White, 75 Australians a year kill their spouse so what drives men to take the lives of those they once loved and the mothers of their children? #domesticviolence

https://www.facebook.com/ttadelaide?fref=nf

http://www.todaytonightadelaide.com.au/stories/husbands-that-kill

 

[Amee]

Link to The Husbands Who Kill. Today Tonight Adelaide

http://www.todaytonightadelaide.com.au/stories/husbands-that-kill

The husbands who kill… According to psychologist Dr Jack White, 75 Australians a year kill their spouse so what drives men to take the lives of those they once loved and the mothers of their children?