Would Terri have had any Rights to Kyron as a Step?

[KeyboardCat]

I don't have much experience with the rights or legalities with step-parenthood. There's probably no cookie cutter situation that laws could be made to govern in that area. I can only guess that the situations would vary widely.

But I remember reading a story a long time ago that affected me very much. A woman with children had divorced their father, and for whatever reason she was given sole custody. She remarried but her life went downhill. And when I mean downhill, I mean a roll over crash and burn off a 10,000ft cliff: drug addiction, rage at the children, unstable, suicide attempts, absolute mental cruelty to her children. The stepfather loved the children more than he did himself, gave his life to them and his wife. He knew that for their safety and stability, they needed to be away from his wife. And her kids just wanted remain with their stepdad, whatever the outcome.

Apparently he fought a brave and noble battle in the court system, but he lost. But the mother didn't win either. So custody was given back to the biological father... who was also determined to never have them in the first place due to his own abusive and drug history. And because the dad just liked to be mean, he never allowed any visitation to the stepfather.

I'm sorry for the long story, and that happened many many many years ago. Maybe laws have changed since then, I don't know. But to me that was a tragedy. If a divorce happens in a marriage where step children are involved... if the children are extremely attached and need the step parent... shouldn't the step parent get custody if the bio parent is a danger to themselves and the children? I'm sorry for the questions. I just don't understand our laws at times.

 

[nosysw]

If we all lived life based on what was best for the children, the world would surely be a much better place...

 

[KeyboardCat]

Oh I see now that the court can order visitation to a step parent, if the step parent was in a custodial, guardian, or parent role, and that if it would be in the child's best interest to have the visitation. Thank you gitana1!

I guess Visitation rights are better than nothing, right?

 

[citigirl]

This hits very close to home, because it is something I really worry about. I have an 8 year old stepdaughter who lives with my husband and I. We are pretty much inseparable. It's very hard for us to be apart--I feel about her the same as I do about my own children.

Her mother is bipolar and has borderline personality disorder. She has had periods of no visitation, supervised visitation and more frequent visitation. She does not have custody of her two older children, either. She is crazy! Off and on, she fights my husband for custody, but the judge always rules for my husband and also usually rules that she should pay his attorney fees because of all the frivolous motions.

In the state where I live, stepparents have "no standing" in court. If something were to happen to my husband, I could not even go before a judge and request custody or visitation. I feel sure bio mom would fight again for custody. I can't picture a scenario that would turn out okay for my stepdaughter.

I guess that this is a long way of saying that it depends on what state you live in...