A little off topic but I'm genuinely interested at your wanting the girls to have a relationship with GBC for their sake. It Family Law textbook in Australia but aren't there exception to the rule?[/QUO
I think there will come a time in those young girls lives when they will need and want a relationship with the surviving parent, perhaps to understand him a little, perhaps to relive memories of their early life, perhaps just that bonding that comes with family. The Dickies are elderly and in all probability the girls will left alone again, I think with proper counselling and help on both sides, he should make an effort to help his daughters understand and to find some good in him, otherwise I can imagine their lives will be harder than they have to be. I wish them and their grandparents all my best wishes.
Despite the disgusting and wicked things that we have heard about through this trial, I am sure that the girls will have had fun times with their Dad before this great tragedy.
I feel strongly that if there was confession and genuine and deep remorse from the alleged perpetrator of this crime, that would go a long way towards rebuilding relationships for the future and would help the girls in working through what has happened. At this point in time, sadly this scenario looks unlikely. Miracles do happen though.
Confession and genuine remorse will go a long way to restoring a man's soul....... without it people seem to become increasingly twisted. I am no expert.... this is just my observation from a distance of what seems to happen to people convicted of such crimes but continuing to deny that they did it. (I am sure that the scenario will be totally different for a truly innocent person wrongfully convicted). Confession and genuine remorse allows people to respond with forgiveness which helps the victims too.
One thing my beautiful parents taught me when we had foster siblings for many years was that no matter what wrong a parent had done to a child, they were still important to that child as they were part of who the child is and hence part of their identity. So, I was never to bag or put down these children's parents (even though I knew of the wrong they did). If my foster siblings asked questions about the wrong things I would answer gently as much as they asked and no more..... so I would be truthful. But whilst acknowledging that whatever action was wrong, I would still speak respectfully about them as a person and a parent. I think it boils down to hating the wrongful action of an individual but loving and respecting them as a person.
People who have made the biggest mistakes and done the most horrid of things can still have things that people love about them. I believe that in these situations children need to be given permission to still value, treasure and love the good things about a person that may have hurt them greatly. It is ok for them to remember the good times fondly. I think that if you completely crush a person important to a child because of a great wrong, like in the case we are following, you are also crushing the child. They have to know that their happy memories were real, true, good and valid experiences, even if the person then went on to do something horrid.
I do admit that in this case this will all take some careful navigating, lots of love and wise counselling. I also acknowledge that I am sure that children will go through all the stages of denial, rejection and so on, and so it will be a long road for them.
