Found Deceased TX - Sherin Mathews, 3, Richardson, 7 Oct 2017 #8 *Arrests*

[DatelineFan]

https://twitter.com/maria_nbc5/status/938140620807426050

Wesley Mathews' attorneys explain why Mathews did not have pictures of Sherin in their home like they did for biological daughter. Citing Sherin's disfigurement (eye).

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! Smh
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Just now checking in today and WHAT. THE. HELL ? These "people" are disgusting. I'm speechless. Just speechless. I've never heard of someone not displaying photos of their child because of... Well, anything! OMG.

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[DatelineFan]

That's one thing I wonder... who created these people? If the fear if the surviving child wont be 'normal' if the Matthews raise her (I don't want them near ANY child!) because a child needs to see love, caring, etc in order to know those things. How did both of these adults miss that? No photos of Sherin hanging in the family living room, but many of their biological child.

Right? And how did they find each other? And how many individuals like them are roaming the earth? Because, yuck. I'd be banned if I said what I'm really thinking!

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[DatelineFan]

https://twitter.com/maria_nbc5/status/938163716385845248

Sini Mathews crying as she hears judge's ruling in favor of CPS regarding Mathews' biological daughter. Opens way for parental rights to be terminated. Live report at 4 @NBCDFW


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Cry me a river, Sini.

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[MzOpinion8d]

http://www.wfaa.com/news/cps-commissioner-child-protective-services-failed-sherin-mathews/495948908

The commissioner promises to get to the bottom of the failed investigation...well, Mr Commissioner, the bottom of it is six feet under in a child size grave.

And as a matter of fact, it's at the bottom of MANY child sized graves in Texas.

 

[MzOpinion8d]

My sentiments exactly. And Sherin was beautiful. The more I hear the more disgusted I am.

She really was. She had beautiful skin, a darling little smile that reached her eyes - despite what she was enduring so it is even more remarkable - and her complexion was a lovely color.

I know she was still little but from what little we've heard it sounds like she had quite her own personality. Beauty is only skin deep, of course, but to hear it said that they didn't put photos of her around the house because she had an eye imperfection is so heartbreaking. First of all, who cares? She is who she is! And second of all - photoshop exists. Use it.

I have to mention I think the fact that SM was not bailed out of jail by the church the way WM was after the first arrest speaks loud and clear about how they feel now.

 

[Amonet]

Thanks also, all for the detailed transcription and tweets, great appreciation.
I'm a constant reader, but very rare poster here. I also am remarkably surprised not just that their moral compass was/is so 'off', but did they constantly regret their actions? Did they consider there would be consequences that were long term pain and suffering for Sherin and also eventually themselves?
I've just finished reading 'Orange is the New Black' and those complex 15 months in min security jail would be enough to turn many to the straight and narrow. The POIs here will be in max security, in isolation(?!) and for a very long time. All based on their terrible, terrible actions. It beggars belief.


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I can't imagine really what someone might think who's abusing their own child. But I am reminded of times when certain adults are found doing something imperfect and they simply turn on the person telling on them, they do everything they can to block access to anyone who might tell on them. They have no conception that their behavior is not excusable, in their eyes it's the person who tells on them, the person who criticizes who is in the wrong, and the answer is just to keep away anyone who is critical, and to do a better job of concealing what they're doing wrong from prying eyes.

So I think if anything the answer here would have been to abuse in a different way, one that could be better covered, than to stop the abuse altogether.

 

[BeesInMyBonnet]

Iirc, the CPS worker mentioned the bio daughter didn't cry. Someone posted about it upthread. I took that to mean she was not distressed, but I supposed not crying could be a learned behavior as a result of possibly/likely witnessing Sherin being abused. Or it could mean she was just so tired she didn't realize what was happening.

I can't get this case out of my mind. It was one of the first things I thought about when I woke up this morning. I just keep wondering why? Why did they go through with the adoption, only to treat Sherin like adoption outcast? I want to ask Wesley, why on earth he would force this on Sini, when she clearly did not want Sherin. Did he think Sini's core belief system would magically change once they brought Sherin home?

And then, I find myself wondering if their difficulties conceiving was God trying to tell them something, because Christians believe God knows all, and knows what's to come but allows free will. It goes along with that be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.


I can't recall another case like this where someone traveled half way across the world to bring home a child only to resent and kill them.[/]QUOTE

Editing my earlier comment since those parents were not charged. This article is better: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/01/AR2006030102380.html

 

[Margo/Mom]

I don't know how, who, or when CPS came to their erroneous decision that a child should be placed with relatives. IMO, this is one of the weakest links in the CPS system. Families often share the same beliefs & traits. Again, JMO, but children should always be placed in a known safe environment until such time as the entire extended family can be thoroughly investigated. Many children would be better served if they did NOT know their roots. Family blood alone does not make a child safe.

Very, very difficult to arrive at those kinds of judgments, whether the family is a blood relation or an experienced foster family.

In the Mathews' case, clearly there were signs of abuse that were not responded to as they should have been. But what signs might there have been before the broken bones, when they were just a couple interested in adoption? How can we tell which families are safe and which ones are not?

 

[chissus]

(RSBM)

It's funny -- there were plenty of interactions with my mother I've only years later understood could be considered abusive or neglectful, but I hadn't thought of this particular situation that way.

One thing no one tells you about being raised by a raging narcissist: there is a surprise around every bleeping corner, apparently for the rest of your life. lol

I had a very abusive narcissistic mother. I spent my life in counseling, fantasies of suicide, and failed relationships. I finally married a man who has a wonderful mother who has helped me heal.

 

[Margo/Mom]

I agree with you about the loss of her parents, even if they were crappy parents. But..........if she's in a loving environment now, she may be relived that she doesn't have to wake up to the sounds of her parents screaming at Sherin, or Sherin crying while she was being abused, or witnessing the physical abuse of Sherin when they broke her bones. She may come to feel that it's a relief to be out of that house and away from what went on there--probably on a daily basis.

That's some pretty sophisticated thinking to lay on a 3 (almost 4) year old. What kids tend to want in bad situations is not for their parents to go away, but for them to stop hitting, or yelling, or drinking, or whatever it is.

As a matter of fact, that's what we tend to want as adults, as well. That's a part of what makes it so hard for people to leave bad relationships. It means giving up hope that they can go back to what they thought they had in the first place, before things got bad.

And one of the sad byproducts for kids when they are removed is that they are more often than not losing everything that is familiar to them--their house, their toys, their favorite clothes, frequently their friends and whatever special family members (like grandparents) they might have special relationships with. And all to often for reasons that they will spend a lifetime trying to understand.

 

[Margo/Mom]

Yes, it's an awfully long time. I suspect this was a battle of the wills. I can't imagine spending two to three hours in the late night time struggling with a kid over milk. Any kind of issue that would go on for hours like that is bound to be abusive in nature.

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I no longer think that's what happened. I am now, given the multiple earlier injuries, and the reports of Sini's reaction to them, more inclined to suspect a traumatic injury, likely to the head. Perhaps WM was trying to keep her awake (old advice regarding head injuries was to not let the victim fall asleep). There may have been choking associated with vomiting. Or maybe she had already expired when he came home from work that day. I just don't believe, at this point, that he was the killer. Or that choking was her cause of death.

 

[Reba]

That's some pretty sophisticated thinking to lay on a 3 (almost 4) year old. What kids tend to want in bad situations is not for their parents to go away, but for them to stop hitting, or yelling, or drinking, or whatever it is.

As a matter of fact, that's what we tend to want as adults, as well. That's a part of what makes it so hard for people to leave bad relationships. It means giving up hope that they can go back to what they thought they had in the first place, before things got bad.

And one of the sad byproducts for kids when they are removed is that they are more often than not losing everything that is familiar to them--their house, their toys, their favorite clothes, frequently their friends and whatever special family members (like grandparents) they might have special relationships with. And all to often for reasons that they will spend a lifetime trying to understand.

Exactly. As a foster mom, I have learned that a child that comes from the most horrid environment will grieve the loss of what is normal to them. Screaming, hitting, dysfunction, filth, crazy, whatever may be their "normal", and placing them in the best of situations may upset them terribly because they aren't used to normal "normal". IMO



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[2Hope4]

:thinking: I haven't researched abusive parents, so I don't know if this theory would fit. Help me out

Do abusive parents look for a reason to start an argument that leads to abuse? I'm wondering if it's possible that the 'milk' situation is the spark to ignite the fire? Could they have chosen her not wanting to drink as the reason for abusing her. See, YOU chose this! All you have to do is drink the darn milk. But NO! YOU have to cause a scene... that type thing? When really the milk has nothing to do with why you're upset, or why you're blaming the child, or why you're abusing the child.

Once the truth is revealed, I don't think it will be anything like the several versions we've heard so far.

It's surprising to me that Sherin was taken to specialist for anything. Rarely would those be one time visits. The symptom or complaint is monitored over a period of time to see if the recommended treatment makes things better, or worse.

I've seen the lying and covering of truth when animals are involved. While you're looking at a puppy shying from touch, because of the abuse it thinks it will inflict pain, and heard more excuses for animal behavior and obvious signs of abuse, like broken bones. But I've never dealt with someone trying to hide broken bones in a child. I just don't know how that was possible!

I hate that Sherin spent likely months of her last year on earth in pain. There's no way I can see how she would have that many fractures and not be in pain. Imagine going to hug her, and it causing pain. Or picking her up, and her arms were broken. I just can't see how so many people either didn't know, or turned their brain off.

 

[fridaybaker]

Yes, watergirl62, I did say that. What bothers me though is that the Mathews' knew what she looked like.

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Do you mean that it doesn't bother you that "if a female child has a physical flaw, it justifies the shunning and casting out, and can also be used to decreaes the magnitude of the dowry"?????

 

[edimmu]

Do you mean that it doesn't bother you that "if a female child has a physical flaw, it justifies the shunning and casting out, and can also be used to decreaes the magnitude of the dowry"?????

It bothers me that they knew what she looked like prior to adoption but chose to not have pictures of her because she's "disfigured". Why adopt someone "disfigured" when it's not something they can handle?

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[jiminy]

I feel like Sherin was never adopted to be an equal member of that family. I think in their minds she was a lifetime servant or a 'whipping boy' or something. It makes me feel sick.

 

[JaneEyre]

:thinking: I haven't researched abusive parents, so I don't know if this theory would fit. Help me out

Do abusive parents look for a reason to start an argument that leads to abuse? I'm wondering if it's possible that the 'milk' situation is the spark to ignite the fire? Could they have chosen her not wanting to drink as the reason for abusing her. See, YOU chose this! All you have to do is drink the darn milk. But NO! YOU have to cause a scene... that type thing? When really the milk has nothing to do with why you're upset, or why you're blaming the child, or why you're abusing the child.

Once the truth is revealed, I don't think it will be anything like the several versions we've heard so far.

It's surprising to me that Sherin was taken to specialist for anything. Rarely would those be one time visits. The symptom or complaint is monitored over a period of time to see if the recommended treatment makes things better, or worse.

I've seen the lying and covering of truth when animals are involved. While you're looking at a puppy shying from touch, because of the abuse it thinks it will inflict pain, and heard more excuses for animal behavior and obvious signs of abuse, like broken bones. But I've never dealt with someone trying to hide broken bones in a child. I just don't know how that was possible!

I hate that Sherin spent likely months of her last year on earth in pain. There's no way I can see how she would have that many fractures and not be in pain. Imagine going to hug her, and it causing pain. Or picking her up, and her arms were broken. I just can't see how so many people either didn't know, or turned their brain off.

My dad did. If the boys didn't eat every bit of spaghetti sauce, it was on. If one us allowed our bottoms to touch the pew when we were kneeling, it was on. Sundays and dinners were a nightmare because he would look for **** to start.

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[watergirl62]

Do you mean that it doesn't bother you that "if a female child has a physical flaw, it justifies the shunning and casting out, and can also be used to decreaes the magnitude of the dowry"?????

My take was that she was explaining the culture, not her personal feelings. Any poor paraphrasing is on me.

 

[Margo/Mom]

:thinking: I haven't researched abusive parents, so I don't know if this theory would fit. Help me out

Do abusive parents look for a reason to start an argument that leads to abuse? I'm wondering if it's possible that the 'milk' situation is the spark to ignite the fire? Could they have chosen her not wanting to drink as the reason for abusing her. See, YOU chose this! All you have to do is drink the darn milk. But NO! YOU have to cause a scene... that type thing? When really the milk has nothing to do with why you're upset, or why you're blaming the child, or why you're abusing the child.

Once the truth is revealed, I don't think it will be anything like the several versions we've heard so far.

It's surprising to me that Sherin was taken to specialist for anything. Rarely would those be one time visits. The symptom or complaint is monitored over a period of time to see if the recommended treatment makes things better, or worse.

I've seen the lying and covering of truth when animals are involved. While you're looking at a puppy shying from touch, because of the abuse it thinks it will inflict pain, and heard more excuses for animal behavior and obvious signs of abuse, like broken bones. But I've never dealt with someone trying to hide broken bones in a child. I just don't know how that was possible!

I hate that Sherin spent likely months of her last year on earth in pain. There's no way I can see how she would have that many fractures and not be in pain. Imagine going to hug her, and it causing pain. Or picking her up, and her arms were broken. I just can't see how so many people either didn't know, or turned their brain off.

I don't know that there is a single template by which to understand/categorize abuse. I do believe that for some the entry door is what Grouchymom has called a lack of tools in the tool box to respond to various behaviors. So abuse grows out of frustration. And may be repeated if it seems to "work,"--to stop the baby crying or make the toddler stop their tantrum, or whatever. Particularly if there is a supportive environment--family members who are supportive of corporal punishment.

But there are also people who have other personal hang-ups. Drug/alcohol use, or some organic mental/emotional thing. There are patterns of anger/abuse in users--that serve to justify the drug/alcohol use. Essentially picking fights in order to have a reason, and a scapegoat. Looks like that in some relational abuse. Some folks with mental/emotional stuff I think have altered perceptions of what is going on around them. May experience a feeling of anger and look around for something to pin it on.

Now--where I am going out on a limb (because I am no expert), is to think that there may be people who get "hooked" into their abuse pattern. They get some kind of boost or compensation out of physically interacting and overcoming someone/something. And as a result periodically go looking for excuses to hit/overpower.

I do know that denial is a powerful element in a lot of dysfunction. In order to avoid having to come face to face with the reality of having just bashed a kid, or wife or girlfriend in the face, or whatever, the blame game comes into play. IOW, the abuser says "you made me do this!"

At this point, I am pretty much believing that Sini is a serial abuser, and that Wesley seems to be her enabler. But I still don't have much insight into what drives her. Not hearing so much about her anger--from her interactions with the pediatrician and the CPS worker who removed the older child. More detachment. Focus on the ruined weekend or the planned baby shower. Also not what I would expect from someone adept at manipulating people or creating impressions.

 

[MissMalowe]

I'm not one to point out flaws in others, because I have so many, myself!!!

Normally, I wouldn't be so petty as to point out physical flaws either. FWIW, it didn't come from a place of my having the (false) impression that I'm attractive, but rather a very deep distaste for their ability to blame everything on the child and I resorted to pettiness as a result.

-SHE wouldn't listen
-SHE wouldn't drink her milk
-SHE was damaged goods
-We needed a break (from HER)
-We have no photos because of HER eye deformity.

They displace their shortcomings as parents, lack of patience and coping skills on her every time. Now it has gotten down to an eye? Those two have the UGLIEST....hearts.