CA CA - Farren Stanberry, 18, San Francisco, 24 Apr 1980

[Odyssey]

One more thing @Ciriii57 Im not sure if you came across the blog I mentioned earlier that focused on the neighborhood history where the hotel was.

It was actually that blogger who was able to solve the mystery of the remains being listed at an address that didn't exist. He remembered when the remains were first found and knew exactly which address they were found at. Then everything started coming together. (What ever happened to allads, she did a ton of work on this, calling libraries, the demolition company, etc )

Anyways if you are wanting to know things about the area, he is very knowledgeable as he lived there at least most of his life. He would likely know if there was a Marriott nearby.

I'm pretty sure I mentioned it before but I don't have time to go back and search for it at the moment.

 

[Ciriii57]

If it's the same person he is helpful and open to discussing the case.

He has been and is very willing to talk to me. The problem we are having is that he really wants to discuss it on the phone and not by email (which is fine) but we have a 9 hour time difference! He may be calling me tonight (11am-1pm Oregon time) or I have asked if he ever works a night shift as that may work too. If we can't make it work I am gonna suggest that one of you guys in the USA contacts him for a call instead.
You can't imagine how frustrating it is getting into these cases and then being unable to call all these places and only do it via email; some people don't like to email.

It was actually that blogger who was able to solve the mystery of the remains being listed at an address that didn't exist. He remembered when the remains were first found and knew exactly which address they were found at. Then everything started coming together. (What ever happened to allads, she did a ton of work on this, calling libraries, the demolition company, etc )

Anyways if you are wanting to know things about the area, he is very knowledgeable as he lived there at least most of his life. He would likely know if there was a Marriott nearby.

Thanks for reminding me about this! Yes I remember the blog-I will go and find it and message him! I also remember all the work that Alllads did, they havent been seen since August 2022 unfortunately.

In fact today I had also planned to email the library in SF for some help. I have a hunch that Farren went off looking for a job and wondered if they knew whether there was a specific advertiser for jobs. I think it is a HUGE longshot but everything is worth following up. As well I am gonna try and see if theres anyone from his old school who'd like to share memories of him. And go through NamUs again.

Will update if/when I hear from Sergeant Rand.

 

[Ciriii57]

Hey everyone! Me and Sergeant Rand have been unable to speak but he has just emailed me and given us the clarification we needed on the timeline:

 

[Satch]

Hey everyone! Me and Sergeant Rand have been unable to speak but he has just emailed me and given us the clarification we needed on the timeline:

This is awesome!!!

Thank you so much to @Ciriii57 and Sergent Rand! We have been waiting to get this sorted out for 10 years! So excited!!!

Satch

 

[NeverPersonal]

Hey everyone! Me and Sergeant Rand have been unable to speak but he has just emailed me and given us the clarification we needed on the timeline:

Did you mean to put more to this post - the two dots?

I wonder why his mom "refused" to give him money. Sounds like it may have saved his life if she did. I'd certainly feel guilty as hell if I didn't send my kid money & they disappeared, declared deceased IMO.

 

[Ciriii57]

Yes sorry my phone posted before I was ready haha ok Sergeant Rand said:

The day he was reported missing by his mother was 6-16-80. The last time he was heard from was 4-26-80. I spoke with his uncle when he placed the article in the paper and asked him about the date discrepancy and he was mistaken on the date he stated.

This is the clarification we've waited for. So Farren went missing sometime between April 26th and June 16th. I think this explains the confusion of the timeline. This is a much longer time frame between the last call and being reported missing than I, for one, had thought. If we assume that Farren called home usually once a month then he could have vanished anytime at the end of April, all of May and first Two weeks of June. I think it likely this means he did only call once a month rather than every 2 weeks as otherwise the family would jave reported him missing before.

Also interesting to note that Farrens mother reported him missing. Perhaps their relationship wasnt as broken as we had thought?

So what does this new information tell us considering it with everything else we have learnt and does it help us move forward with Farren's case?

Well off the top of my head we now know that Farren lost his job probably in the week just before 26th April (which was a Saturday by the way). Depending on when he vanished he had potentially 6 weeks to find a new job. It could be interesting to know what was happening in San Francisco during these dates.

Does anyone have any other thoughts? Does this prove/disprove or back up any of the other information we have discovered. What are everyone's suggestions for how we can now move forward with Farren's case?

 

[Satch]

Hey @Ciriii57!

This helps a lot!!! So we have that range of April 26, 1980, which was probably that last phone call and no word from Farren after that. Reported missing by his Mother (that's a shock) on June 16, 1980. I guess that does make the June 1980 campground date, reported by his Aunt as wrong. I guess that May 1, 1980 date reported on some websites doesn't mean anything.

Assuming that San Fransisco was his destination all along, he probably lost his job around the middle of April, and spent the last four to six weeks trying to find work. I also agree that the phone calls made by Farren to his family, were more like once a month. We should probably get a mod request to change the missing data to April 26, 1980.

That extended date range shows to me how diligently Farren tried to find a job. It also says to me that if Farren committed suicide, had his Mother sent him money to help him out when he needed it so badly, it could have saved his life!

I really believe that Farren was in San Fransisco for a lot longer than reported.

Satch

 

[Ciriii57]

I really believe that Farren was in San Fransisco for a lot longer than reported.

Agree 100 percent. We don't know how long he had worked in his job but I'm thinking he may have either been in San Francisco since he left home or at least a few months.

I'm gonna just ask sergeant Rand tonorreoe for clarification on that camp ground but it must be wrong.
And I don't know where the May 1st date originated at all.

 

[Satch]

Agree 100 percent. We don't know how long he had worked in his job but I'm thinking he may have either been in San Francisco since he left home or at least a few months.

I'm gonna just ask sergeant Rand tonorreoe for clarification on that camp ground but it must be wrong.
And I don't know where the May 1st date originated at all.

@Ciriii57,

Sergent Rand sounds like an awesome guy!!! Tell him I said thank you for his dedication and service in helping to find Farren! It REALLY sounds like he cares deeply about this case like we do, and really wants to find Farren! The one thing that I am sure Farren's Aunt got right is that he certainly went, "above and beyond." I am so grateful for his help on this case!!!

Satch

 

[Satch]

Guys,

I just used Google Search to calculate the driving time from John Day, Oregan to San Francisco California concerning Farren's most likely destination. It comes out to 10 hours and 15 minutes: (non-stop)

Satch

 

[Odyssey]

A couple quick things that have recently come to mind.

I can't recall now where I got this info but I am pretty sure it was Farren's own money that he was asking his mother to send and she refused. I don't think he was asking her to send money out of her own pocket.

I also recall that the first LE contact I had spoken to (before Rand) had said something that led me to believe his mother suffered from mental illness or addiction issues. I don't remember how he worded it, but I interpreted it as such and he was trying to put it delicately.

As for the dates, it has been so frustrating how much confusion there has been. Not just with the dates, but the name of the hotel was wrong, the address of the UID was wrong, etc. But the more I think about it, I think we will just drive ourselves crazy getting too caught up on the dates. Whether he disappeared in January, April, May, June or December, I don't think there is really any avenue to finding him where knowing the exact date would make any difference. I've been guilty of it myself but it drove me nuts and I don't want that to happen to everyone else, unless there is a scenario where we can say "if he disappeared in April then we should check this, but if it was in May, theres no need to."

I do think it would be helpful to know how long he was in San Francisco though because that could give us a better idea of whether he had time to get into a serious relationship, etc. Or if he was familiar enough with the city that he might have traveled to Castro St (known for LGBTQ population) or otherwise ventured around the city. They said he was a country boy at heart and he was from a very small town, so I'm not sure he would have been prepared for the rough parts of San Francisco. They made it sound like he wasn't street smart at all...

 

[Ciriii57]

Whether he disappeared in January, April, May, June or December, I don't think there is really any avenue to finding him where knowing the exact date would make any difference.

I know what you mean but for me anyway it was essential to have the dates correct. It maybe just the way my brain works but I couldn't move forward not knowing the timeline. It may be helpful in the long run to narrow things down if anything relevant crops up. And perhaps even with UIDs. At least now we have an idea where he was and when.

I know that Farren's father had been awarded custody after the divorce, and he placed Farren with his grandma, so she may well have had some issues. But I don't think we should necessarily vilify his mother for not sending the money. Her not sending his money may have been an attempt to get him to come home. EG:
Farren: Please can you send me my money
Mum: No, I don't want you wasting more money...if you're struggling please just come home.
Her decision may or may not have had tragic consequences but she has had to live with that knowledge.

Also, we shouldn't be too quick to forget how adaptable an 18 year old can be to a new situation. Despite him being a Country boy at heart. Teeneagers are amazingly resilient.
One question? Was the legal drinking age in the US still 21 back then? If so then probably he wasn't going into bars etc (I think he looked quite young anyway) or was it a more relaxed attitude so jemay have been?
Ciriii

 

[Ciriii57]

Hi everyone, so I have had a thought about Farrens possible job and that F Stanberry unclaimed property. So let's assume for argument's sake that F Stanberry was indeed our Farren.
I think we have always thought that the job at the Marriott was the one he had recently lost. What if that's not the case.
What if:

• Farren lost a job sometime before April 26th. But this was another job and he picked up his final paycheck so had a bit of cash on him to tide him over. (I make this assumption because usually if you lose a job you would get your final pay on your last day wouldn't you? He may not have lost his job due to anything he did, it may just have been a temporary thing)
• He calls home on Saturday April 26th requesting his money. He's not actually desperate yet but wants a safety net in case he doesn't immediately get a job. And it is HIS money. His mum and grandma both urge him to come home but he says he will sort something out.
• At some point after this he indeed manages to get a job at a Marriott Hotel.He works there long enough to accrue $98 in pay. He then vanishes, leaving the money uncollected and unclaimed along with his stuff.

IF, and it's a big if, this scenario is correct then it would be great to know how much work $98 entailed. A week, two, a month as it could tell us how long he continued to work before he vanished.
IF it was the Marriott job that he lost then again, knowing how much work $98 was for may tell us at least how long he'd been in SF prior to April.

Of course it could still be that the F Stanberry is not our Farren or it could still be that the Marriott job was the one he lost. Its purely my speculation, but I have always found it impossible to believe that he left a paycheck uncollected.

 

[Satch]

I know what you mean but for me anyway it was essential to have the dates correct. It maybe just the way my brain works but I couldn't move forward not knowing the timeline. It may be helpful in the long run to narrow things down if anything relevant crops up. And perhaps even with UIDs. At least now we have an idea where he was and when.

I know that Farren's father had been awarded custody after the divorce, and he placed Farren with his grandma, so she may well have had some issues. But I don't think we should necessarily vilify his mother for not sending the money. Her not sending his money may have been an attempt to get him to come home. EG:
Farren: Please can you send me my money
Mum: No, I don't want you wasting more money...if you're struggling please just come home.
Her decision may or may not have had tragic consequences but she has had to live with that knowledge.

Also, we shouldn't be too quick to forget how adaptable an 18 year old can be to a new situation. Despite him being a Country boy at heart. Teeneagers are amazingly resilient.
One question? Was the legal drinking age in the US still 21 back then? If so then probably he wasn't going into bars etc (I think he looked quite young anyway) or was it a more relaxed attitude so jemay have been?
Ciriii

Hey! Great post, @Ciriii57!

The drinking age varied from state to state. In most states it was 18. I agree, the most accurate timeline helps us sort things out so that we are not looking at a different place in time whee we think something happened that did not happen.

Do you guys agree that Farren could have said "I want to see the world" when he really wanted to "learn about and connect with the gay community?" But choose to say, "see the world", so as not to upset his Mother, Aunt, and Grandmother?

I can understand why Farren chose not to come home. He had too many connections and positive vibes in San Fransisco to leave that community, and the people, likely some he loved dearly. He simply could not leave them behind. @Odyssey and @Ciriii57 what do you think happened to Farren, based on what we know currently?:

1.) Farren committed suicide?

2.) Farren became homeless and died due to drugs, or AIDS?

3.) Farren was murdered?.

4.) Farren stayed in San Francisco to start a new life under an unlisted name and number and/or a new identity and lived for several years. But he is now dead, not due to 1, 2, or 3?

5.) Farren is still alive today?

I am at 60% #1 and 40% #2. Farren's Uncle believes #3, and that his remains never left San Francisco.

Satch

PS. Interesting scenero above @Ciriii57! For the record, according to Google Search:

Value of $98 from 1980 to 2023
$98 in 1980 is equivalent in purchasing power to about $360.80 today, an increase of $262.80 over 43 years.

 

[Odyssey]

@Satch I believe anything is possible but I lean toward homicide. I think it could be a random hate crime or intimate partner violence.

I definitely think suicide is a possibility but less likely to me because he couldn't hide his body very easily unless he went pretty far from SF. Even when people jump off the bridge, they usually wash ashore. Before his DNA was entered, I thought suicide was more likely because any of the existing UID's that did wash ashore still could have been him.

If he ended up homeless I think he would have gone home or at least kept calling to ask for money, especially if he ended up with an addiction.

Someone asked about the drinking age and I'm not sure what it was in California then, but I do know it wasn't enforced back then like it is today. Around that time I used to go to the bowling alley with my dad when he was in a league. He used to send me to the bar to get beers for him and his team. I'd go into the bar and buy them and carry them back to his lane. Nobody ever batted an eye, and I was only 8 or 9. It was very different then.

 

[Bit of hope]

Hey @Ciriii57!

This helps a lot!!! So we have that range of April 26, 1980, which was probably that last phone call and no word from Farren after that. Reported missing by his Mother (that's a shock) on June 16, 1980. I guess that does make the June 1980 campground date, reported by his Aunt as wrong. I guess that May 1, 1980 date reported on some websites doesn't mean anything.

Assuming that San Fransisco was his destination all along, he probably lost his job around the middle of April, and spent the last four to six weeks trying to find work. I also agree that the phone calls made by Farren to his family, were more like once a month. We should probably get a mod request to change the missing data to April 26, 1980.

That extended date range shows to me how diligently Farren tried to find a job. It also says to me that if Farren committed suicide, had his Mother sent him money to help him out when he needed it so badly, it could have saved his life!

I really believe that Farren was in San Fransisco for a lot longer than reported.

Satch

Maybe we should give Farren's mother some slack. Not giving money could have had many reasons. Maybe he only contacted her when he needed money, had been irresponsible in the past or whatever reason and she was fed up with that. Maybe she just needed it to pay her own rent. In retrospective, it turned out to be bad timing, the least. Not giving money doesn't necessarily mean you don't love your child or are worried.

To add. If Farren had sexual contact(s) with people having Aids he could have been infected with the HIV-virus himself. Very different times back then, all kinds of related problems and less knowledge about it.

 

[Ciriii57]

and I was only 8 or 9. It was very different then.

@Odyssey Wow it really was a different time! Thanks for that insight! Ok so he definitely could have been attending Bars and saunas and such like then I guess.

Value of $98 from 1980 to 2023
$98 in 1980 is equivalent in purchasing power to about $360.80 today, an increase of $262.80 over 43 years.

Thanks Satch. What I'm really interested to find out is if this was a weekly, fortnightly or monthly wage. Can anyone who was working in 1980 she'd some light on approximately how much work $98 would translate to?

Hmmm what do I think happened to Farren. At the moment I am with @Odyssey and believe he met foul play. If he was indeed murdered I think it may be worthwhile checking other areas than SF for a UID. About 70% on this.
I'm not keen on suicide for the same reason as Odyssey, he wouldn't be able to hide his body.
I am about 25% that he succumbed to homelessness and possibly prostitution and drugs, if so I seriously doubt he survived the ravages of 80s SF. But surely there would be a report of a dead homeless person that matches Farren?
I keep 5% reserved for Farren living a happy life and surviving til today, I don't believe it, but I sincerely wish it to be true.

 

[Ciriii57]

Oh and also I am now 100% thinking that Farren had discovered his sexuality and was gay. His age, the hotel and him liking SF all point me to this.
Good for him, I hope he was open and happy and found love and fun
It doesn't really make a difference except that it could relate to where and with whom he may have been more likely to hang out etc
Unfortunately if Farren was alive into the 80s then he probably didn't survive. I don't know the exact figures but I believe a huge percentage of SFs gay population succumbed to AIDS/HIV. And that is a deeply saddening though.

...made myself cry now!

 

[Bit of hope]

@Odyssey Wow it really was a different time! Thanks for that insight! Ok so he definitely could have been attending Bars and saunas and such like then I guess.


Thanks Satch. What I'm really interested to find out is if this was a weekly, fortnightly or monthly wage. Can anyone who was working in 1980 she'd some light on approximately how much work $98 would translate to?

Hmmm what do I think happened to Farren. At the moment I am with @Odyssey and believe he met foul play. If he was indeed murdered I think it may be worthwhile checking other areas than SF for a UID. About 70% on this.
I'm not keen on suicide for the same reason as Odyssey, he wouldn't be able to hide his body.
I am about 25% that he succumbed to homelessness and possibly prostitution and drugs, if so I seriously doubt he survived the ravages of 80s SF. But surely there would be a report of a dead homeless person that matches Farren?
I keep 5% reserved for Farren living a happy life and surviving til today, I don't believe it, but I sincerely wish it to be true.

Thinking about what to do when you are in a big city, without a place to sleep and no money. Could he have tried to hitch hike back to his family and something happened to him along the way?

 

[Ciriii57]

Thinking about what to do when you are in a big city, without a place to sleep and no money. Could he have tried to hitch hike back to his family and something happened to him along the way?

Its definitely possible. But remember he did actually have $42 ish in his account and it doesn't explain why he left all his possessions in the hotel (if they were indeed his).
It seems to me that he did go somewhere, but didn't intend to be gone for more than a day. Unfortunately we don't even know if he had his wallet, ID or anything on him or what he was wearing as we have no idea what "psessions" were left behind. If they weren't actually even his possessions he may have had everything with him!
If Farren ended up travelling with someone they may have transported him or his body outside of San Francisco. I feel like it would be much harder to dispose of a body in the middle of a huge city, especially a body that hasn't yet been found.