DoctorRose
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It made me think of spaghetti tacos from icarly. I hope you’re right that sounds way better lol.
AMBER ALERT TN - Autistic teen Sebastian Wayne Drake Rogers, 15, missing in Hendersonville - Feb 27, 2024
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snipped by me for focus
My autistic son and I thrive off of routine and structure. I have not listened to this latest interview, but could it be more of that than ruling with an iron fist, so to speak? People on the spectrum struggle a lot of transitions - especially surprise ones - so having a 'rigid' structure might actually be a good thing for Sebastian. My son's father has zero structure when he is with him every other week. I love his dad - he's one of my best friends - but that lack of structure means that my boy comes back to me an overstimulated mess and doesn't want to comply with any request or routine at all. It's difficult when trying to get someone to school, to eat, etc.
That was a long interview. I don't feel like it did them any favors at all. I have been on the fence but mostly on their side but this actually gave me more questions.
CP states to bring on the questions, let em fly because he want's to address them but then doesn't really. The answers to the polygraph questions were very strange to me. He says yes, passed but does not say who or when. Then when pressed he says I didn't say who or when. Clear as mud. What?
What's this about bio dad stating that the last time CP saw SR was early February? Did I hear that correctly?
It also sounds like the whole family dynamic with aunts and grandmother is at times strained at best.
CP states to bring on the questions, let em fly because he want's to address them but then doesn't really. The answers to the polygraph questions were very strange to me. He says yes, passed but does not say who or when. Then when pressed he says I didn't say who or when. Clear as mud. What?
What's this about bio dad stating that the last time CP saw SR was early February? Did I hear that correctly?
It also sounds like the whole family dynamic with aunts and grandmother is at times strained at best.
Also I can understand why step and mom will not disclose what medications SR is taking to the general public. I get that. I also can understand not wanting to disclose about camera's either in or outside of the house. Sort of. Many people have doorbell camera's it's not that unusual these days. I felt like they were a bit evasive on this issue but maybe there is a reason I am not privy to.
The mom also would not disclose how many pairs of shoes SR has. It's an odd question so maybe she felt that is nobody's business. Made me wonder, do they keep his shoes somewhere secure when he is in the house so he won't wander?
The mom also would not disclose how many pairs of shoes SR has. It's an odd question so maybe she felt that is nobody's business. Made me wonder, do they keep his shoes somewhere secure when he is in the house so he won't wander?
investigatefred
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(Prefacing this by presuming that all 3 parents are 100% innocent in Sebastian's disappearance)
For just a moment, place yourselves in these parents shoes. Consider the stress of your child missing, you know you have cooperated with authorities 100%, compiled with the constant accusations of outsiders telling whatever story they choose as their narrative on their platform. You have done interviews with local news media. You have answered random people's questions on social media. You have done phone interviews on social media. Everyone wants to blame you and dig into every single nook and cranny of your lives, (past and present), most of which has zero to do with the situation at hand- finding your child. People are and have been tearing them apart and speculating everything under the sun because of biases they have from other missing persons cases. I think I too would come off as rigid, perhaps angry if I was dealt the same hand. Honestly, listening to their latest interview as discussed in the last couple of posts, I found both parents to be truthful and honest with what they were able to answer. I didn't sense anger as it seems you did, but of course everyone is subject to their own opinions, and this is mine.
Megnut
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Thank you for this. Routine makes absolutely sense.
I was thinking about rigidity as an approach. Feels like a standard he could never meet.
I think that would be very hard. We thrive on routine and structure but are still a loving, silly, fun little familyThank you for this. Routine makes absolutely sense.
I was thinking about rigidity as an approach. Feels like a standard he could never meet.
Snipped by me for focus
My high-functioning autistic son will literally only wear one pair of shoes. He has others, but he's never worn them. He has 3 pairs total because of this. He has 2 pairs of DC shoes that he has never put on and then 1 pair of sad, worn Pumas that he adores. We just keep buying a new pair when they get too beat up or his foot grows. Praying he finds another he likes by the time we outgrow this color!
Anyhow, it might be embarrassing to explain to someone who does not know how this can work for a child on the spectrum/one with sensory needs. Saying your kid has one pair of shoes might seem like you've somehow not taken care of them/cared enough to give them more than one pair when in reality, they will only wear that one pair. That's why I've never found it odd that they knew he left without his shoes. I would definitely know if my son did
Also, my son literally sleeps in the same kind of sweatpants with the stripes down the sides and a long-sleeved shirt with one of his special interests/hyperfixations on the front - even in the hottest parts of summer. That's why I don't find it odd that she knew what he was wearing, either. My son even struggles so much to get ready in the mornings between ADHD and autism (he's 10) that he will oftentimes put on clothes for school the night before. He only wears sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt with one of his special interests on it until I have to force him to wear shorts or short sleeves so he doesn't overheat at school
He does NOT sleep in the sad, worn Pumas
He has to sleep in only one sock for some reason. He will only wear one whenever he doesn't have shoes on. It doesn't even phase me at this point. I know my special little guy has his special little quirks. As long as he's comfortable, safe, happy, and we have our essential habits locked down by routine - I let him be who he naturally is.snipped by me for focus
My 10yo son on the spectrum no longer elopes like he did as a younger child but when he did - he didn't care if he had shoes or not. He cared about getting to the pool, following an animal he saw outside, etc. He would walk barefoot over terrain that would make some people cry in pain but not be phased at all. He has a very high pain tolerance in all ways imaginable; I think that is fairly common in children on the spectrum but not sure. I used to think he just could not communicate if he was in pain, but he just doesn't seem to feel pain. I have watched him stick his hand into scalding water unphased (I was phased of course and yanked it out).
I think its a safety issue, people are accusing them, those cameras are for their safety. Revealing where cameras are puts them at risk.
My ASD teen has 2 pairs of shoes that he wears. One pair for school and one for errands, his choice, his routine. He has other shoes, brand new that he's grown out of because they don't fit his routine. He's very high functioning but has his quirks.
DoctorRose
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Hmmm. I sense stepdad is a very private person. And he seems to feel like he needs to defend himself. But those are just personality traits. Nothing jumps out to me too much. JMO. I’m not a psychiatrist.
ETA: I wonder how this interview was proposed to him. If it was “come talk to me and clear your name”, that explains his focus on protecting himself.
Same here with my ASD teen and shoes. I've discarded so many brand new outgrown shoes lol. He has a school pair and after school pair these days. His choiceSnipped by me for focus
My high-functioning autistic son will literally only wear one pair of shoes. He has others, but he's never worn them. He has 3 pairs total because of this. He has 2 pairs of DC shoes that he has never put on and then 1 pair of sad, worn Pumas that he adores. We just keep buying a new pair when they get too beat up or his foot grows. Praying he finds another he likes by the time we outgrow this color!
Anyhow, it might be embarrassing to explain to someone who does not know how this can work for a child on the spectrum/one with sensory needs. Saying your kid has one pair of shoes might seem like you've somehow not taken care of them/cared enough to give them more than one pair when in reality, they will only wear that one pair. That's why I've never found it odd that they knew he left without his shoes. I would definitely know if my son did
Thanks for the numerous responses on the shoes. I didn't find anything suspicious by her response. Some topics they did not want to disclose and others that were certainly not about finding SR were discussed which I felt were sad to hear such as some of the family drama.
People can tear apart responses, decide he's been neglected if he only has one pair of shoes.
I think when tensions are high , especially with split families/ex inlaws there's going to be tension. From my understanding the exs don't really like each other but they communicate and work together for Sebastian.
That's where we are at, too
I just asked him this morning if it is time to get a refreshed pair of 'THE PUMAS'He said he will think about it (they're falling apart, so I hope he decides yes)
nhmemorymaker
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Thanks for sharing. I could really "feel" his lil personality. And your last sentence is what I have felt since day one...he looks happy. Early pictures with teachers /caregivers...he DOES look happy to me.Snipped by me for focus
My high-functioning autistic son will literally only wear one pair of shoes. He has others, but he's never worn them. He has 3 pairs total because of this. He has 2 pairs of DC shoes that he has never put on and then 1 pair of sad, worn Pumas that he adores. We just keep buying a new pair when they get too beat up or his foot grows. Praying he finds another he likes by the time we outgrow this color!
Anyhow, it might be embarrassing to explain to someone who does not know how this can work for a child on the spectrum/one with sensory needs. Saying your kid has one pair of shoes might seem like you've somehow not taken care of them/cared enough to give them more than one pair when in reality, they will only wear that one pair. That's why I've never found it odd that they knew he left without his shoes. I would definitely know if my son did
Also, my son literally sleeps in the same kind of sweatpants with the stripes down the sides and a long-sleeved shirt with one of his special interests/hyperfixations on the front - even in the hottest parts of summer. That's why I don't find it odd that she knew what he was wearing, either. My son even struggles so much to get ready in the mornings between ADHD and autism (he's 10) that he will oftentimes put on clothes for school the night before. He only wears sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt with one of his special interests on it until I have to force him to wear shorts or short sleeves so he doesn't overheat at school
He does NOT sleep in the sad, worn Pumas
arielilane
Justice for Liz Barraza
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‘We have not forgotten about Sebastian’: TBI releases Q&A on Sebastian Rogers investigation
www.wkrn.com
‘We have not forgotten about Sebastian’: TBI releases Q&A on Sebastian Rogers investigation
‘We have not forgotten about Sebastian’: TBI releases Q&A on Sebastian Rogers investigation
On Monday, Feb. 26, 15-year-old Sebastian Rogers disappeared from his Sumner County home.
www.wkrn.com
UnapologeticallyAspie
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Autistic children (especially children/teens) need and even some adults need a rigid schedules. This tremendously helps with our anxiety.
moo ymmv IMHAutisticO
ETA: Rigid as in strict schedules.
Megnut
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That makes sense to me.
I probably didn't make a good distinction.
Constancy, I would think, would be huge. Stable, predictable routine.
I think I was thinking more in terms of discipline. Rigid in that sense. Militant, heavy handed. Lecturing. Firm is one thing but more than that seems like it would be confusing.
I like how one parent described it upthread. Where to draw lines while allowing the child to be who he naturally is.
Does this distinction fit better?
I'm thinking specifically of Sebastian as described by the adults in his life -- silly, has his idiosyncrasies, likes his topics, etc --
Routine and constancy are important and a fixed routine, wise.
Parenting requires special patience and intentional flexibility.
Bam.
All that to get me to the word I meant all along!
Not rigidity so much as inflexibility.
That's going to be a hard match up, no? A unique child on the spectrum and an inflexible adult --
I so want to hope he felt loved, valued...
And that no harm came to him.
JMO
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