NV NV - Steven T. Koecher, 30, Henderson, 13 Dec 2009 - # 1

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webrocket said:
He did not go there to work. Nor would he be buying drugs in a real estate development for retired people. The Vegas strip is where he'd buy his drugs, but I don't think he was into drugs at all.

He went to the Vegas area to hook up with another man. I would put money on that. If he had a woman, he'd be parading her around to the family.

It may seem very callous of him to walk away from the family and worry them like that. However, who knows what kind of mental hell he was going through trying to be a good Mormon boy but being gay and not wanting to shame his family or be on the receiving side of being shunned by them. I feel bad for the guy that he this was how he felt he had to deal with it.
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We DON'T know if he's gay. We don't know anything about him! Sheesh.

I do tend to believe he's ok somewhere, but we don't know what was happening in his world.

And BTW, the Strip is not a drug-dealing area. It's a tourist area. Drugs can be found anywhere, if one knows where to look. But the Strip is NOT a drug haven - just so you know.
 
Fairy1 said:
Drugs can be found anywhere, if one knows where to look.
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(Respectfully snipped by me)

Exactly.

I just can't figure out why he would be purchasing Christmas gifts if he was planning on disappearing. I would like to know if these gifts were left behind or if they are missing. That would be telling, IMO.

Also, have these jobs he was doing actually been "confirmed"?
 
TRL said:
(Respectfully snipped by me)

Exactly.

I just can't figure out why he would be purchasing Christmas gifts if he was planning on disappearing. I would like to know if these gifts were left behind or if they are missing. That would be telling, IMO.

Also, have these jobs he was doing actually been "confirmed"?
Click to expand...

I should think his computer will hold many clues as to where he may be....
 
TRL said:
(Respectfully snipped by me)

Exactly.

I just can't figure out why he would be purchasing Christmas gifts if he was planning on disappearing. I would like to know if these gifts were left behind or if they are missing. That would be telling, IMO.

Also, have these jobs he was doing actually been "confirmed"?
Click to expand...

Something I read said the gifts were found in his car, that's how his family knew he had purchased them. I'll see if I can find where I read that at.

http://www.facebook.com/#/topic.php?uid=225335012614&topic=25344

Post #7KC Naegle wroteon December 29, 2009 at 10:55am
Tommy - Thanks for the pictures and the BYU-I info. I had forgot about that.
Kyrsten - We have no idea. He told his mother that he'd be home for Christmas, he had presents for his neice and nephews in his car and he made no secret about being in Las Vegas.


The above post is on his facebook page posted by the creator which I believe is a family member. I am fairly new at posting, usually just read so I hope I did this right. ;)
 
raines67 said:
Something I read said the gifts were found in his car, that's how his family knew he had purchased them. I'll see if I can find where I read that at.

http://www.facebook.com/#/topic.php?uid=225335012614&topic=25344

Post #7KC Naegle wroteon December 29, 2009 at 10:55am
Tommy - Thanks for the pictures and the BYU-I info. I had forgot about that.
Kyrsten - We have no idea. He told his mother that he'd be home for Christmas, he had presents for his neice and nephews in his car and he made no secret about being in Las Vegas.


The above post is on his facebook page posted by the creator which I believe is a family member. I am fairly new at posting, usually just read so I hope I did this right. ;)
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Thanks for the info! :) I'm new to posting too, so I am not the person to ask.

The gifts being in the car and his family knowing where he was going totally confuses me. It could be that he wanted everything to seem as normal as possible and never thought he would be captured on tape leaving his car.

There's just so many things about this case that don't fit.

MOO
 
http://www.cottonwood20b.150m.com/interest.htm

try looking at this link first, then follow the link to his name. I had to do it a couple of times, but it is well worth the few extra steps.

I can't explain about the friends but it seems at least there was a circle of people who knew he was gay and struggling with it.
 
webrocket said:
http://www.cottonwood20b.150m.com/interest.htm

try looking at this link first, then follow the link to his name. I had to do it a couple of times, but it is well worth the few extra steps.

I can't explain about the friends but it seems at least there was a circle of people who knew he was gay and struggling with it.
Click to expand...

So, Steven is gay.
Or is struggling with being gay and not wanting to be gay and wanting to be married and all the things some think are normal.

Questions:
Did Steve know someone in the retirement village?
Someone he visited occasionally?

Or
was Steven there to do the part time jobs
and met someone there?
And that person had his own secrets, maybe
not a nice person
and that is why
Steven has not been in touch with anyone?
or
Steven met someone there casually and that
person convinced him it is okay to be gay
and Steven is still not all right with
telling family and the more time goes on
and now with the missing person search,
Steven really does not want to
reach out to anyone.

I hope Steven is alive and well and recognizing
that he is just fine the way he is.
And
I hope that he finds a lawyer and has that
person let his family know he is okay.

Prayers for Steven and his family.
 
Like, WR, I did some checking into Steven yesterday, and the statements from his family about his struggles caused me to look at LDS position on homosexuality and specifically how the family of someone who is attracted to the same sex handles the issue. The gray area appears to be whether or not the individual is acting on their prediliction-if they are celibate then they are still welcome in the church and by their family. If they are acting on their attraction, the family is supposed to consider them to be dead because they will not be reunited with their family in heaven.

This is a fairly new position for the Morman Church-apparently the church was pretty tolerant of same sex relationships until the 1950's when they made a decision that they were an abomination. Now the church has the capacity to change-in the '70's I believe they decided it was not a "sin" to be black and they also reversed their position on polygamy.

I am intrigued by the site that WR found-I have to believe that LE has it as well and I would like to know who put up the information there?? If it can legitimately be attributed to Steven, then it for sure is the elephant in the room.

On the other hand, I am not convinced at this moment that this is a straightforward abandonment of his life....JMO
 
This is the timeline I have constructed. It is by no means perfect, but I think it explains some of what is going on. From all appearances Koecher is an extremely nice and clean cut guy but those qualities were not enough for his family and their church people. (recall even at the end he apparently helped out some strangers)

Koecher had a job at a newspaper until about the summer of 2008 when he claimed he did not like to work nights. So he left that job and moved about as far south in Utah as you can go, to St. George. There he rented a room, and was supposedly starting up this window washing business when he drives to Henderson, NV and poof.

I think what happened was that he met a Las Vegas guy online. In order to try the dating routine, he moved to St. George where he could make some road trips to Vegas. When it looked like he and his love interest were a good match he left Utah and the LDS community (including family)

If the Koechers want to see their son again, I would suggest they make an honest appeal on Vegas area television that they love their son regardless of his sexual orientation. He might get on the phone and call them.
 
I personally had felt, from the beginning, he may be gay. But this is one subject that quite often, I personally choose stay away from. Kind of like politics and religion.

I think we've found the 'reason' this young man has most likely chosen to disappear. It's a shame really, that this family MAYBE, can't tolerate that their loved one is different,...........or that Steven felt it necessary to choose between happiness and his family.

It's a trying time for people when they come out, especially with their family. I honestly hope that is the fate Steven found and that he is satisfied and happy with a new life. Perhaps, some day, his family will find it in their hearts to accept Steven for what he is and love him just the same.

IF this is the case.

JMHO
fran
 
believe09 said:
If they are acting on their attraction, the family is supposed to consider them to be dead because they will not be reunited with their family in heaven.

This is a fairly new position for the Morman Church-apparently the church was pretty tolerant of same sex relationships until the 1950's when they made a decision that they were an abomination. Now the church has the capacity to change-in the '70's I believe they decided it was not a "sin" to be black and they also reversed their position on polygamy.
Click to expand...

I am a member of the Mormon/LDS church, and the above statements are either completely false or misconstrued. It's not your fault that there is TONS of unreliable and made-up information out there. If you want to know about LDS church policies, visit www.lds.org. That is where you will find official information. I realize this is not the place to discuss a church's beliefs, but I wanted to clear that up. I am very curious about what happened to Steven. If, and it's definitely an IF he is gay, I would think his family would want him to talk to them, not run off. Although the LDS church believes homosexuality is wrong, there are better ways to deal with it than taking off and I assume Steven would know that. I've never heard of and LDS person being shunned or treated as dead because they said they were gay.

Again though, the whole gay thing is speculation by a few people. I just hope he is safe.
 
motappin said:
I am a member of the Mormon/LDS church, and the above statements are either completely false or misconstrued. It's not your fault that there is TONS of unreliable and made-up information out there. If you want to know about LDS church policies, visit www.lds.org. That is where you will find official information. I realize this is not the place to discuss a church's beliefs, but I wanted to clear that up. I am very curious about what happened to Steven. If, and it's definitely an IF he is gay, I would think his family would want him to talk to them, not run off. Although the LDS church believes homosexuality is wrong, there are better ways to deal with it than taking off and I assume Steven would know that. I've never heard of and LDS person being shunned or treated as dead because they said they were gay.

Again though, the whole gay thing is speculation by a few people. I just hope he is safe.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your perspective! I will check the link...
 
Hmmm-I checked the link and I am not sure where I erred with my original post, but here is what I found:
Homosexuality


"People inquire about our position on those who consider themselves so-called gays and lesbians. My response is that we love them as sons and daughters of God. They may have certain inclinations which are powerful and which may be difficult to control. Most people have inclinations of one kind or another at various times. If they do not act upon these inclinations, then they can go forward as do all other members of the Church. If they violate the law of chastity and the moral standards of the Church, then they are subject to the discipline of the Church, just as others are" (Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, Nov. 1998, 71).

Additional Information
"We want to help these people, to strengthen them, to assist them with their problems and to help them with their difficulties. But we cannot stand idle if they indulge in immoral activity, if they try to uphold and defend and live in a so-called same-sex marriage situation. To permit such would be to make light of the very serious and sacred foundation of God-sanctioned marriage and its very purpose, the rearing of families" (Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, Nov. 1998, 71).
 
I read the Cottonwood 20 site and just want to offer that I don't feel it *confirms* he's gay. He very well may be, but if you read the rest of the boys' "profiles," there's a lot of *advertiser censored*-innuendo going on. (For example: "male 1 and male 2 are the married couple of the apartment" and "if it were in good standing with the church, I'd marry him") And neither of those statements pertained to Steve. There might have been a kernal of truth in their teasing him in that manner, but it may too have been an inside joke among the friends.

Regardless of his orientation, it doesn't rule out the fact that he's missing under circumstances that I tend to think point away from suicide of running away. I hope he's found, one way or another.
 
About blacks, they were never told they couldn't join the LDS church. They have always been welcome. It was an issue about holding the priesthood and I believe it was a policy based on historical biblical stuff too complicated to get into here. But I don't know anyone who thought it was a sin to be black. :) The other problem I saw was with the assumption that gay people are disowned by their families or shunned. Some families of any religion might do that, but it's not an LDS doctrine or endorsed practice. Indeed there are jerks in any church. LOL

I just hope Steve is okay. It certainly is a mysterious case. They have said he was wearing a dress shirt and tennis shoes. I wonder what kind of pants he had on. Might the tennis shoes indicate that he knew he'd be walking a ways, or was that something he normally liked to wear anyway? I guess you have to wonder about suicide and him just wanting everything to appear normal, and sounding upbeat the way some do when they have made a decision. If the gifts he bought the night before were still in his car, that could either mean he hadn't been home at all since buying them, or was keeping them in there on purpose for some reason. But if he decided to end his life, why park the car like that? Where did he go to end his life, if that's indeed what he did?

I dunno...I guess I'm leaning toward him going to meet someone, answer an ad for a possible job, and that person was up to no good. Very very strange. His poor family.
 
ms_writer said:
I read the Cottonwood 20 site and just want to offer that I don't feel it *confirms* he's gay. He very well may be, but if you read the rest of the boys' "profiles," there's a lot of *advertiser censored*-innuendo going on. (For example: "male 1 and male 2 are the married couple of the apartment" and "if it were in good standing with the church, I'd marry him") And neither of those statements pertained to Steve. There might have been a kernal of truth in their teasing him in that manner, but it may too have been an inside joke among the friends.

Regardless of his orientation, it doesn't rule out the fact that he's missing under circumstances that I tend to think point away from suicide of running away. I hope he's found, one way or another.
Click to expand...

I agree with you.

I think they made it up as a joke (judging by the entire website). The "joke" may not be funny to all, but it's nothing I haven't heard coming from guys mouths (i'm a college student) when they are just messing with each other. Could it have a bit of truth? Of course. In my opinion, does it have any truth? No, not just by looking at that web page.
 
motappin said:
About blacks, they were never told they couldn't join the LDS church. They have always been welcome. It was an issue about holding the priesthood and I believe it was a policy based on historical biblical stuff too complicated to get into here. But I don't know anyone who thought it was a sin to be black. :) The other problem I saw was with the assumption that gay people are disowned by their families or shunned. Some families of any religion might do that, but it's not an LDS doctrine or endorsed practice. Indeed there are jerks in any church. LOL

I just hope Steve is okay. It certainly is a mysterious case. They have said he was wearing a dress shirt and tennis shoes. I wonder what kind of pants he had on. Might the tennis shoes indicate that he knew he'd be walking a ways, or was that something he normally liked to wear anyway? I guess you have to wonder about suicide and him just wanting everything to appear normal, and sounding upbeat the way some do when they have made a decision. If the gifts he bought the night before were still in his car, that could either mean he hadn't been home at all since buying them, or was keeping them in there on purpose for some reason. But if he decided to end his life, why park the car like that? Where did he go to end his life, if that's indeed what he did?

I dunno...I guess I'm leaning toward him going to meet someone, answer an ad for a possible job, and that person was up to no good. Very very strange. His poor family.
Click to expand...

Sin was too simplistic-I did read about the connection to Cain etc...

OK, Believe is back on topic now-his poor family is right!!! I wonder if they have taken their plea to the airways in Vegas??
 
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