GUILTY MO - Tyler Dasher, 1, Affton, 15 Nov 2011 - #2

[SurfieTX]

At the presser they said he had his own room.

So I've been snooping on her friends pages... I cannot get over how many of them have babysat for Tyler on numerous occasions and have their own pictures of him while he was in their care. He was very, very loved by all these young people. Some of them also have little ones. She had so many friends to turn to for help, yet she didn't. For the most part they are all done with her, one even said she was her best friend, like a sister to her and now she is nothing to her.

I feel very bad for them, especially the one young man who is the boyfriend of MM. He's crushed. And he has the sweetest picture of them together as his profile pic.

 

[TxLady2]

Wishing for her to commit suicide or to be killed in prison is not justice... it's revenge and I can't go there. I hate what she did, and my heart bleeds for the baby, but I cannot hate her. Hate is such a negative emotion, it can destroy you. It's not worth the energy it takes to express it. I prefer to trust my faith in God and know that vengeance is HIS... not mine. Hating her and wishing her dead will not bring Tyler back.
Tricia asked us all a couple pages back to scale back on this anger and rage, and I think we should heed that message.

 

[GEORGIAGIRL69]

Aww, this is horribly sad. That poor baby. What he must have endured at the hands of the very person who was supposed to love and protect him. I hope she gets the max. What an evil person. :furious:

 

[josie1986]

OMG!!! So Shelby has already appeared in court this morning and a NOT GUILTY plea has been entered!

I know, I know... pretty typical... but come on... she confessed!!! I really don't want this drawn out for the sake of all the grandparents, but especially Tyler's daddy.

"Shelby Ann Dasher appeared in a St. Louis County courtroom wearing prison clothing. Judge Permuter entered a not guilty plea for Dasher."

http://www.fox2now.com/news/ktvi-ju...ea-for-shelby-dasher-20111117,0,5083016.story

ETA the link

is she freaking serious? :furious::furious:

i really feel for her poor mother,if this was my daughter and she did this....i would no longer have a daughter.i couldn't bring myself to think about her let alone be near her.my kids are my mums world their grannys little cherubs,i imagine that this would have been the case there

 

[Disguiseduser0308]

Prayers to the family of little Tyler as they awake this morning and realize it wasn't a nightmare. I'm still in shock myself.

 

[AlmostGone]

I wish we had better support programs for young mothers all over and well advertised.. Makes me want to look into something...

 

[prayers4missing]

WOW I can't believe after a confession she would have the nerve to plead NG. I smell a insanity plea coming......

 

[nursebeeme]

Shelby Dasher told Guinn that she put the baby to bed at 6 p.m. Monday and left about 10:30 p.m. to go out with some male friends. Her mother was home with the child. Shelby Dasher said she got home about 2:30 a.m. and checked on Tyler.
Christine Dasher left for work about 7:30 a.m. Shelby Dasher told Guinn that she went to wake the baby at 11 a.m. because he had been sleeping for so long. That's when she said she discovered the child was missing and called police, Guinn said.
"No 1-year-old ever sleeps that long. It didn't make any sense," Guinn said. "She also told me that the child could walk but could not get out of the crib by himself. There was no indication of forced entry to the house."
That's when Guinn called in the reinforcements. Dozens of county officers began to search the surrounding area, by helicopter, on foot and on patrol. At about 3:30 p.m. Tuesday, a man and a woman walking their dogs along the cemetery just off River Des Peres Boulevard discovered the child's body.


Read more: http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/...96e-5e6e-a985-fd76d4262269.html#ixzz1dymBWaD3

6pm put to bed?

 

[Amster]

OMG...CA sure didn't receive a harsh sentence for what she did....how many babies have been killed since she was treated so kindly? There needs to be HARSHER consequences for killing babies!! Not coddling and "understanding"....I need a break.

 

[CarrieBean]

I'm not sure how this can legally be a first degree murder - killing someone in a fit of rage type situation is different than a premeditated murder. I would like a look at the MO statute, and it's been umpteen years since criminal law in college - are there any lawyers on the thread who could comment on this?

I probably have a different opinion than most here - I think these type of killings are more common than we might like to admit. This reminds me of the many more shaken baby cases we hear about, where a parent or care-giver snaps. I know there used to be commercials, sort of PSAs, about what to do when you are stressed as a parent. At the pediatricians, there are brochures about parent hotlines, and steps to take when you feel you are at the end of your rope (put baby in crib, shut door and go into another room or outside for a few mins, etc). Two of my kids were fairly difficult babies,and one had reflux so badly that she screamed nearly all day, would not eat well (and thus was always losing weight, and very often getting dehydrated), and it went on for months and months. There were many moments where I had to put her in the crib and walk away and shut the door,and more often than i like to admit, my thoughts were NOT GOOD. I thank god i had family nearby who would come daily to sit with the babies,tell me to get dressed and GET OUT for a while. Situations like that can cause any normal human being, yes, even a mother, quite a build up of stress, and even anger.

If we could be honest about this, I think there are times when all parents have reached that end of the rope feeling with a screaming child, even a baby. I think it is more common than we like to admit. We like to paint pictures of motherhood as all candy canes and rainbows, and we like to think that maternal/child bonding is so special that to have negative or even ambivalent feelings towards a baby is unnatural, but I think that sets up an u realistic set of expectations on mothers.

What I would love to see come out of cases like this is some type of program that I know many countries have, where a nurse does home visits with new moms for a certain period of time after having the baby. To watch the interaction, give advice, check up on both mom and baby. I realize that in this case, little Tyler was an older baby, and so this type of thing may not have helped prevent this, but maybe there were signs a experienced health care worker could have picked up on, and it could prevent other cases of a parent "losing it" and harming a child. Especially in cases where the parent is young, or the parent is single and young, as we have here.

None of this means I don't feel that the mom in this case should be punished. I do think she should, and i am glad she has confessed; that says to me that she probably feels genuine remorse for what she did. But I think we need to be realistic, also, and do what we can to avoid these situations. I don't think this was a mother who deliberately set out to kill her child, and I don't think she deserves a first degree murder charge, unless more info comes out to support that. We need more services, more information and support for parents, especially younger ones, not harsher setences and charges. That isn't going to help any other case in the future. Someone "losing it" in the heat of the moment isn't going to stop and say "oh wait, that other baby's mom got the death penalty, so I need to cool down now". They're not thinking calmly and rationally in that moment. However, if they're given the tools to avoid such a situation in the first place, well, then it never gets to that point where they've gone too far.

Thank you for this. This truly is the reality...as much as I can't understand what someone is thinking when they beat a child, let alone a baby.

I was 18 when I had my first. I never understood why people would tell me how patient I was. I thought my kids were pretty mild when they were babies. Spent plenty of nights with no sleep though, exhausted and in tears. Mostly in tears because I knew they were sick/hurting in some way and there was little I could do about it to make it go away. I'm sure there were times, in my mind, that I was screaming "please shut up and go to sleep" but the thought never crossed my mind to hit, shake or even yell at them. As crappy as my childhood may have been, something was instilled in me growing up. Some just don't pick these things up along the way.

Years later things got bad. My youngest was 12 (special needs) and had some severe behavioural problems. Nobody wanted to help (I had had a sitter for maybe all of 10 times total all those years for "me time"). Almost lost my mind. Still didn't beat my child. Some just have it in them and some don't, I guess.

 

[nursebeeme]

OMG!!! So Shelby has already appeared in court this morning and a NOT GUILTY plea has been entered!

I know, I know... pretty typical... but come on... she confessed!!! I really don't want this drawn out for the sake of all the grandparents, but especially Tyler's daddy.

"Shelby Ann Dasher appeared in a St. Louis County courtroom wearing prison clothing. Judge Permuter entered a not guilty plea for Dasher."

http://www.fox2now.com/news/ktvi-ju...ea-for-shelby-dasher-20111117,0,5083016.story

ETA the link

and here I thought she was gonna do the right thing...

you think I would know better by now

 

[chasing.halos]

6pm put to bed?

No wonder the little man wanted to wake up! He had enough sleep!

Surprised she didn't say he was "sick." :innocent:

 

[CarrieBean]

I think Shelby had more than enough "tools" and choices. She could've called her mom or a friend if she was so distressed about Tyler's crying. I'm sure they would've rushed home to help out.

There is absolutely no excuse to her reckless behaviour. She had a child. She had responsibilities. Party time is thrown out as an option when you decide to become a mom. I was 23 when I had my first child. There was no party time until the wee hours of the morning because I knew I had to get up the next morning for feed, bathe and care for my baby and then head to work.

I'm sick and tired of these young girls thinking having a child is like a new toy and when they're fed up, they can throw them out. WTF?

I think Gardenlady was talking more about "internal" tools. Thoughts, emotions, and control to be able to deal properly. We don't all have it (obviously). It's too bad people don't realise it before they decide to have children.

Haven't caught up on the thread, so this may have been discussed already.

 

[Disguiseduser0308]

Isn't it par for the course that she would plead not guilty at a preliminary hearing or arraignment? I thought I remember there being a reason for pleading that way. Attempting a plea bargain? :waitasec:

I can't recall specifically why she would plead that way right now. But I know someone here at WS has explained it before.

ETA: Should I plead guilty at arraignment?

The thing is, once you are charged with a crime, you are entitled to all sorts of Constitutional rights – like the right to a trial, the right to cross examination, and the right to present witnesses in your defense. Once you plead guilty at arraignment, however, all those rights go down the toilet – in fact, you’ll have to give up those rights on the record. It also means you’ve lost any opportunity to strike a plea deal. So, plead guilty (or nolo contendre/no contest) at your own risk.

From: http://www.quizlaw.com/criminal_law/should_i_plead_guilty_at_arr.php

 

[dog.gone.cute]

OMG!!! So Shelby has already appeared in court this morning and a NOT GUILTY plea has been entered!

I know, I know... pretty typical... but come on... she confessed!!! I really don't want this drawn out for the sake of all the grandparents, but especially Tyler's daddy.

"Shelby Ann Dasher appeared in a St. Louis County courtroom wearing prison clothing. Judge Permuter entered a not guilty plea for Dasher."

http://www.fox2now.com/news/ktvi-ju...ea-for-shelby-dasher-20111117,0,5083016.story

ETA the link

BBM: This is just absolutely unbelievable ... but I am not surprised ...

I really hope they "throw the book at her" ... MOO ...

:furious::furious::furious:

 

[nursebeeme]

Shelby Dasher, the mother who is charged with second-degree murder of her son, Tyler Dasher, was arraigned in St. Louis County Thursday morning.

Court officials said Dasher's appearance was brief and the judge entered a not guilty plea on her behalf, and assigned the public defenders office to represent the young mother.

Dasher did not have legal representation when she made her first appearance on the charge of killing her infant son. It was at the hearing that the formal charges were read to Dasher.

Her next court appearance is scheduled for January 5th 2012 in St. Louis County court.

Dasher is presently jailed in the infirmary of the St. Louis County and is on suicide watch, according to a spokesperson for the jail.

http://www.ksdk.com/news/article/28...sent-Shelby-Dasher-in-Tyler-Dasher-death-case

 

[CarrieBean]

OMG...CA sure didn't receive a harsh sentence for what she did....how many babies have been killed since she was treated so kindly? There needs to be HARSHER consequences for killing babies!! Not coddling and "understanding"....I need a break.

How do you propose we prevent these things from happening if we don't try to understand it?

 

[CarrieBean]

OMG!!! So Shelby has already appeared in court this morning and a NOT GUILTY plea has been entered!

I know, I know... pretty typical... but come on... she confessed!!! I really don't want this drawn out for the sake of all the grandparents, but especially Tyler's daddy.

"Shelby Ann Dasher appeared in a St. Louis County courtroom wearing prison clothing. Judge Permuter entered a not guilty plea for Dasher."

http://www.fox2now.com/news/ktvi-ju...ea-for-shelby-dasher-20111117,0,5083016.story

ETA the link

If it went how it appears (she confessed AND led LE exactly to where she threw baby Tyler away), this isn't a very smart move.

She's no Casey Anthony.

 

[CarrieBean]

Isn't it par for the course that she would plead not guilty at a preliminary hearing or arraignment? I thought I remember there being a reason for pleading that way. Attempting a plea bargain? :waitasec:

I can't recall specifically why she would plead that way right now. But I know someone here at WS has explained it before.

ETA: Should I plead guilty at arraignment?

The thing is, once you are charged with a crime, you are entitled to all sorts of Constitutional rights – like the right to a trial, the right to cross examination, and the right to present witnesses in your defense. Once you plead guilty at arraignment, however, all those rights go down the toilet – in fact, you’ll have to give up those rights on the record. It also means you’ve lost any opportunity to strike a plea deal. So, plead guilty (or nolo contendre/no contest) at your own risk.

From: http://www.quizlaw.com/criminal_law/should_i_plead_guilty_at_arr.php

Thanks. This makes sense.

 

[SurfieTX]

Isn't it par for the course that she would plead not guilty at a preliminary hearing or arraignment? I thought I remember there being a reason for pleading that way. Attempting a plea bargain? :waitasec:

I can't recall specifically why she would plead that way right now. But I know someone here at WS has explained it before.

ETA: Should I plead guilty at arraignment?

The thing is, once you are charged with a crime, you are entitled to all sorts of Constitutional rights – like the right to a trial, the right to cross examination, and the right to present witnesses in your defense. Once you plead guilty at arraignment, however, all those rights go down the toilet – in fact, you’ll have to give up those rights on the record. It also means you’ve lost any opportunity to strike a plea deal. So, plead guilty (or nolo contendre/no contest) at your own risk.

From: http://www.quizlaw.com/criminal_law/should_i_plead_guilty_at_arr.php

Based on Nurse's link above, it looks like the judge entered the not guilty plea on her behalf since she had no counsel present in court. Now that she has been assigned a public defender, I imagine she'll take a plea.