My DD recently had a severe anxiety attack lasting over 2hrs and requiring a trip to the ER. It was the most gut wrenching feeling not being able to help her, and seeing her in such distress. When we finally got home that evening, her brother is who she reached out to, and would finally talk to. She wouldn't speak to us, *her parents*, her grandma, her doctors, a therapist, the ambulance crew, the police, nobody. We had no idea what had happened, if she had been raped, mugged, or what. She simply stated later that she couldn't talk. It hurt too much internally, and she couldn't breath nor form words. There's so many emotions that teens deal with, and haven't the past experiences, nor skills to process. They aren't adults, their brains aren't completely formed, yet the want the adult life, or so they think. But they have no clue what the 'real world' is. And something such as a break up from a boyfriend, or death of a pet can be the catalyst for a complete breakdown they've held in too long. It's normal. It's part of growing up, and leaving the comforts of home, and juggling work, college, finances, and relationships all at once.
I feel for each of the kids in the community left to figure out their path in life after such a tragedy as they're living through now. Please parents, set up those appointments, talk to your kids, as I told my own, I don't know the all the answers, I can't define your life for you, but I'm here, and I'm willing to help you. I'm willing to listen, without judgement, without bias, and try to help you see the decisions you need to make, and talk through them. But I can't make the decisions for you. I can't read futures, I can only lean on my life experiences, my age, etc to help guide.
Yes I'm hurting for those kids today. I'm hurting for JW's siblings, and her parents and loved ones. I'm hurting for GG's family, siblings, friends, and loved ones. I've prayed for GG, and even though it's not up to me to forgive him, like him, etc., I pray for him. That's not to say I would want him anywhere near me or my kids right now. But something is wrong for a 17yr old to even have the thoughts of his actions, much less carry through with those thoughts. Something is wrong, whether it's legal insanity or not, I think we can at least agree that his brain is not as ours.
I don't even know why I'm posting this, except to say, while I can't ever understand the extreme emotions the community is feeling, as I didn't know the victim nor the perp, I am a human, and have compassion. I truly feel horrible that any child would have to experience a tragedy like this. :grouphug: to them all. Together, you will learn from this, and will grow stronger. But it's going to take time. It's not an instant snap of the finger healing. It's not a healing that a pill is going to miraculously cure. It's going to be a process. But you'll each remain in my prayers from the 'other coast'.
