So fed up and I'm about to commit child abuse

[BethInAK]

I actually think that maybe the police need to solve Peeples sons problem.

How do you teach your children that hurting others is wrong while teaching them its ok to hurt others if they hurt you first?

All of this being said - recognize that there are privacy rights for other students - its very possible that the boy who hurt Peeple's little man was severely punished and we don't know. We also don't know that boy's story - obviously he is a special needs child who needs more supervision than what took place. The school needs to be held responsible for that for sure- because obviously the kid has his own problems.

 

[Sonya610]

How do you teach your children that hurting others is wrong while teaching them its ok to hurt others if they hurt you first?

Her kid was CHOKED to the point of UNCONSCIOUSNESS! That is serious stuff, that stuff gets people killed! We aren't talking about pre-schoolers in daycare, in some schools the size difference between students is HUGE and some 11/12 year olds are the size of grown men with weight pushing 180 lbs.

If her kid is having this many problems in the fourth grade it is NOT likely to get better over the next 4 years, middle school is often much worse. Give the kid some confidence, enroll him in some classes, don't let his self-image be destroyed or let him be mentally tortured for years. Mom yelling at the school really isn't a fix unless this is the only kid that is EVER likely to bully him, and if he is very timid chances are there will be more.

If he is fragile and kind of timid start building his skills now. He will thank you for it later.

 

[Melanie]

I think I told this story before, but when my son was a freshman in high school (grade 9), there was this bully who always picked on my son. One day he went too far. After school he pulled out an airsoft gun and SHOT my son in the leg!! Airsoft guns use small pellets, and are not dangerous unless you aim for the eye. He did have quite a welt though (no bleeding).

Now DS knows what fuss I can make, and boy did I ever. I called 911, then called the mother of the kid (found the kid on FB, then called a friend who knew her). The police arrived and made a report, then I asked them to go to the kids house where they confiscated the weapon and talked to the kid and parents. The mother moaned because she paid $200.00 for this gun and how DARE I ask the police to take it away.

Then I took the police report to the school, and the local LE also followed up with the school. Both my son and the bully were separated, and lo and behold, that kid hasn't even looked sideways at my son since. But because the incident didn't take place on school property there was no suspensions or anything like that (but the school certainly had a right to know).

Now I know my experience is totally different, but I just want to emphasize, don't ever hesitate to take immediate action if your child is hurt or maimed. Trust me, if my son ended up in the ER, not only would a police report be filed, but I would probably throw out a lawsuit or 2 (against the parents and the school). I can't tolerate bullies, and my son knows it. He won't tolerate it either (but it does help that he's now 6' tall).

Anyway - just my .02. My DH said I over-reacted, and others may too. But I know this bully learned a valuable lesson that day.

Hugs,

Mel

 

[BethInAK]

Her kid was CHOKED to the point of UNCONSCIOUSNESS! That is serious stuff, that stuff gets people killed! We aren't talking about pre-schoolers in daycare, in some schools the size difference between students is HUGE and some 11/12 year olds are the size of grown men with weight pushing 180 lbs.

If her kid is having this many problems in the fourth grade it is NOT likely to get better over the next 4 years, middle school is often much worse. Give the kid some confidence, enroll him in some classes, don't let his self-image be destroyed or let him be mentally tortured for years. Mom yelling at the school really isn't a fix unless this is the only kid that is EVER likely to bully him, and if he is very timid chances are there will be more.

If he is fragile and kind of timid start building his skills now. He will thank you for it later.

I would call the police over this incident. I wouldn't be teaching my kid to kick the crap out of others. I might consider changing schools.

 

[Sonya610]

I would call the police over this incident. I wouldn't be teaching my kid to kick the crap out of others. I might consider changing schools.

IMO opinion good parenting means protecting them AND giving them the skills to deal with the real world. If I were raising boys I would want them to be confident MEN as adults, not "guys" but MEN that have the skills and confidence to deal with problems.

 

[BethInAK]

IMO opinion good parenting means protecting them AND giving them the skills to deal with the real world. If I were raising boys I would want them to be confident MEN as adults, not "guys" but MEN that have the skills and confidence to deal with problems.

So hitting people is "skill and confidence" and makes you a "MAN"?
my husband has never been in a physical fight in his life. Was even a policeman. He manages to solve his problems without fists. I consider that more manly than punching people.

 

[websurfer]

It is painful to have this happen to someone you love.
When you try to get help, do the parents do nothing?
if so..see about contacting a speaker on this subject to speak to the school in an assembly?
I bet some speaker who is against bullies would do that?

 

[websurfer]

http://www.school-bullying-program.com/iowa-bullying-program.htm

 

[Linda7NJ]

You need to protect your child and the school is clearly failing. If it were me, I'd file charges, I'd hotline CPS and hire an attorney, and I would pull my child out of school until a safety plan is in place.

Your son's LIFE is in danger. He can not protect himself and he is not even reporting this abuse. You can not continue to send him back into that environment one more day to be abused until something drastically changes.

The school has a duty and obligation but you are his mother and ultimately it's your job to protect him.

 

[txsvicki]

Did the situation resolved or got worse during the excitement of school ending? I had a thought that some of the mean kids might be older. There's a 13 yr old in my 11 year old gs's class. Him and another one are thieves and I am now sort of being bullied because I refuse to allow my gs to play if they are anywhere around. Things have gone missing from a few yards, our stolen bike turned up pieced out next door, another neighbor boy's bike stolen and when caught said they found it in the alley, and even their family is giving me nasty looks.

 

[L L & S]

Sending warm thought out to all the posters in this thread. I am proud of the way that some of you dealt with your situations. At this point, sadly, it's up to the parents to stand up for their children and not expect or depend on any other person/organization/school to do it for us. The key is to remain calm, cool, steadfast, and assertive. (can't remember what poster emphasized this word, but I liked it)

As you can tell by this thread there are a lot of other parents out here that would stand behind a person who is firmly determined to protect their child from not only a bully but from the obvious broken system too. I also commend those that recognize that the bully might be just as broken as the systems we are hearing about and thinking of ways to incorporate help for them into possible solutions.

I hope we get an update from the OP soon hearing all is well. Peace.






.

 

[Jan]

My youngest son was bullied so bad in elementary school that he had to go to psychiatric day treatment for a month to get over it. His teacher taught bully prevention in his classroom at that time and made get kids in the class all make him get well soon and welcome back cards that were delivered to him at the psychiatric clinic. The same son was pushed down from behind so hard in middle school that it broke off a piece of bone in his leg and resulted in having to have surgery on his leg. The school wouldn't do anything because they didn't know which kid did it. Of course, the witnesses wouldn't tell. If you have a psychiatrist write a prescription for it, a school has to send a teacher to your home 3 days a week to teach your child. The teacher comes and does a one hour lesson and assigns the reading material and homework, collects the homework on the next visit, and gives the tests.

 

[MNlady]

I agree with filing formal charges, but I think you also need to do something to help your child help himself. I strongly suggest a good martial arts program geared towards children; not so he can beat up his attackers (although that is an added benefit), but so he will have self confidence exuding from his every pore. He will no longer be a target. Predators, even children predators, instinctively know how to pick out their victims.

My son was special ed. I was worried when he went from home schooled to a public school that he would be made fun of and picked on. He's a little guy, thin, short (tho he's sprouting up now), where's glasses, the whole shebang. He also had been in martial arts for 3 years by the time he got to school. Twice he was messed with. One time someone was poking him with a pencil. He snatched the pencil, broke it in half, and threw it aside, then went back to what he was doing. The guy left him alone. The second time some guy was trying to tease and puts hands on him. He grab the kid's hand, squeezed, and told him he picked the wrong person to mess with. The kid left. Neither time did he hit anybody, raise his voice, or cause a scene. Now, everyone loves him, calls him ninja, and think he's great. When he walks on campus, I hear people greeting him from across the school. He walks with confidence because of his training, and because of his training he knows how to protect himself, which comes across in his bearing. More importantly, because of his training, he knows when NOT to use it.

I highly recommend it for any bullied child.

So hitting people is "skill and confidence" and makes you a "MAN"?
my husband has never been in a physical fight in his life. Was even a policeman. He manages to solve his problems without fists. I consider that more manly than punching people.

BBM

No, BethInAK, martial arts is not about teaching children or others to be fighters, it's teaching them how to protect themselves IF NECESSARY, but mostly it's teaching them confidence and what to do to NOT fight when they are pushed into a corner. Read the bolded part of MayraMM's post above. Her son didn't have to fight, he just had to show them with a confident attitude that he wasn't to be messed with. :rockon: