I'm confused, this story seems like it's missing some pieces. Was the child screaming and disturbing the other clients? The story is carefully worded so as not to say what "Mott" was giving the mother a "tongue lashing" about. It manages to suggest that she was berating the mother for her child *being* autistic, which of course makes no sense. It also carefully uses the word "crying", which gives the impression of a child quietly sobbing. I don't know, I just have this feeling the kid was probably screaming. (Maybe I've had too many nice dinners out recently ruined by people who will let their toddlers wail endlessly at the next table.)
We were recently at a ball game and my youngest daughter was playing with a bunch of kids at the park. There was a girl, a younger sister of a boy on the opposing team, that apparently was having some issues with my daughter. My daughter came to me and told me that the little girl was saying mean things to her and her friends and sticking out her tongue at them. She also said that the mother "yelled" at her (my daughter) and told her to stop being mean to the little girl. (I quoted yelled as it is a very subjective term coming from my very dramatic 8 year old daughter.)
Anyway, I gave her my typical response of "just stay away from her the best you can-the game is almost over anyway and we'll be going soon." As we were walking to our cars after the game, my daughter was relaying the story and the little girl and her mother were getting into their car, parked right next to ours. As we were pulling out, the little girl stuck her tongue out at my husband. He stopped the car to get out and yell at the mother, when the mother jumped out of her car, in complete frustration, and yelled back at him "I'm sorry....she can't help it...she is autistic!!!"
My heart sank. We told her it was OK and we were sorry and we understood. But this scene had a big impact on me and my kids. It made us remember that we don't always know everyone else's situation. I could be judgmental and say that the mother should watch her autistic child better and she could have handled the situation better...but in reflection, I began to think about this woman's typical day. A day spent trying to police a young child who obviously has serious problems that cause all kinds of issues. I imagined the mother's frustrations trying to handle these situations on a regular basis. And then I thought about just how lucky I am that my kids are happy and healthy. It allowed me to put myself in her shoes for a moment and really think about what her life might be like.
So the next time you have a nice dinner out "ruined" by the behavior of someone's child, think instead about what might be going on in the family. What their daily lives might be like. Perhaps this is a special occasion that they thought would go well, or perhaps they felt they deserved a nice evening out as well. Instead of letting your dinner get "ruined" take a few moments to reflect yourself and all of the good things you have in your life, mainly the fact that you can afford to go out and have a nice dinner, that you are healthy enough to leave your home, etc...
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but I hear this from people all of the time, and I just don't get it. Where is the compassion in this world? I've seen this type of thing in restaurants before and I just look at the poor parents with sympathy, because anyone who has ever had a toddler knows that they can be unpredictable and can turn from a perfect sweet angel into a demon child in a matter of seconds for the tiniest thing! With autistic children, it is constant.
Please don't blame parents who bring out their autistic children in social situations. It is our fault as a society when we cannot tolerate them. They have a disability and while it may "bother" you or be inconvenient, it is no different that asking someone not to bring their wheelchair bound child, or disfigured child, or a child with anything else that may cause you "distress." Parents should have the right to bring their children to any public place they choose with their children that children are welcome, and to me, that includes restaurants, airplanes and yes-salons.
JMO